Tailspin
by RoRoWrites
Summary: AU: One choice can change everything. Vows broken, friendships betrayed, lives forever altered. A triangle story about Mercedes, Sam, and Quinn, told from each of their POV as they deal with the consequences of their actions and try to pick up the pieces of their lives. Samcedes, Fabrevans, Quick, Finncedes romance and Kurtcedes, Puckcedes, Mike/Sam, Quinntana, Quartie friendships
1. Chapter 1

_Ok so this is an AU fic about **Sam, Mercedes and Quinn** told from each of their points of view. This is a triangle fic, but I believe in even and realistic…so everyone gets a full story and however it ends you'll totally understand WHY it went that way._

_So we have **Samcedes**, **Fabrevans,** then **Quick, Finncedes**, Samchel (in the past), Shanecedes and Bram _(not much Shane or Brittany at all) _to varying degrees. Also strong **Kurtcedes** & **Puckcedes & Quartie** friendships._

_Thanks for reading!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

Mercedes Evans shook out her blue and brown plaid umbrella as she entered Scandals Bar. The dingy hole in the wall was dimly lit, and from what she could see pretty empty, even for a Thursday night in Lima, Ohio. She made her way over to the bar and plopped down on a stool. She pulled out her cell phone. 9:05 and no messages. Shane was late, but he was a doctor, he was always late. She needed some time to herself anyway, a few minutes to gain her composure before she had to turn on her smiles for Shane.

It was to be a celebration. Divorce papers were filed, served and soon to be signed, she was free. No more Sam Evans screwing up her life. What had she been thinking? Everyone had warned her about Sam, he would hurt her, use her, leave her, but Mercedes had thought she knew him best, that she could see into his soul. What a crock. Sam had no soul, all he had was a black corroded space where his heart should be. Damaged. Plain and simple. And he almost had her wrecked.

An older strawberry blonde woman was tending the bar. Mercedes said a silent thank you that she didn't recognize her. She needed a drink badly, and she didn't want to have to deal with some regular staff member that would give her a hard time about her age. Divorced before the age of 21 had to make her legal somewhere. She needed a drink. No, she deserved one. A shot of something strong just to take away the dull ache that roared in her head. The relentless pounding that had never ceased since the day Sam sank to his knees grasped her waist and pleaded with her not to leave. It was almost ironic. Their relationship started out with him on his knees when he proposed, and they ended the same way. Her life was just filled with cruel jokes like that one. Like having to endure her husband of less than six months screwing her best friend's fiancé.

"Can I get some service?" Mercedes rustled through her teal leather clutch searching for her fake ID from her club kid days. She couldn't afford to take any chances.

"What can I do you for?" asked the woman as she slowly eyed Mercedes from head to torso and back.

Looking her straight in the eye, with her patented self-assured voice she ordered. "I would like a vodka tonic on the rocks."

"A vodka tonic?"

"Yes. Now," she snapped.

"A little snippy thing aren't you?"

"I don't have time to for small talk. Can you just make my drink please?"

"Sure Miss Thing. I will get right on that."

"Thank you".

"Right after you turn 21."

"Excuse me? If you need to see ID just say so. Don't just assume someone is underage."

"I didn't assume. I know you are underage. Just like I know anything in that wallet of yours will be fake. I should actually by law confiscate it. But maybe it would be best if I just called your father instead."

"My father?"

"Yep, your father, Julian Jones. See I know all about you thanks to my stepson."

"Oh my God."

"We have never met. Let me introduce myself. I am Carol Hudson-Hummel."

"Great. Nice to meet you," she mumbled as she moved over to a small table adjacent to the bar. "I'm just going to take a seat over there while I wait for Shane."

"Shane? Shane Tinsley?" Carol asked as she came from behind the bar and approached Mercedes at her table.

"Yes Shane Tinsley. Let me guess you have him on speed dial too?"

"No but I do know all about him. See he was dating my stepson's roommate, Rachel Berry, making her perfectly happy, until some clingy ex-girlfriend started monopolizing all his time. That wouldn't be you by any chance?"

"Okay, I am going to say this one time. You really need to mind your own business. I'm not in the mood tonight."

"Wow. I find that surprising. From what I hear you should be dancing in the streets. Word is you ditched Sam Evans and are on your way to being a free woman. And look at you, haven't even missed a beat, already back on the dating scene."

"I don't have to take this from you. I'm waiting outside. You clearly need to get a life instead of indulging in all the local gossip."

"Stay dry, hon," Carol said as the door closed behind Mercedes.

* * *

><p>What was it about this town? She exhaled sharply as she leaned against the damp brick of the building. Once again Mercedes was fodder for the local gossips. Just once she wished she could live her life in private, without her activities spreading through the town like wildfire. A normal life that was all she ever had wanted, and now she was even further from that reality than ever. She should be at fraternity parties and worrying about exams not filing for divorce. Soon, she thought. Soon she would be free.<p>

"I so need a drink," she sighed out loud leaning forward slightly to let the mist from the steady rain cool her face and further destroy the curls that she spent an hour putting in her black shoulder length hair. A pale hand emerged from the dark offering a silver and brown flask. It glinted in the soft glow of the streetlight, offering the promise of relief from her mind.

"A smart woman never accepts a drink from a strange man," she said as she grabbed the flask from his hand. Her lips curled around the mouth of the flask, tentatively at first but her caution dissipated as the hint of scotch hit her tongue. She took a few sips and let the burn of the alcohol warm her body. "But I needed that, so thanks," she said softly as she offered the flask out into the darkness. "My husband has a flask just like that. He keeps it in his coat pocket. He used to think he was being clever by sneaking sips from it, instead of raiding his father's wet bar. As if he could ever hide anything from me. I could always read him so well. Except that once..." she trailed off quietly. "Can I get another sip of that please?"

"Drinking never makes it better. Trust me on that." He raked a hand through his damp hair as he leaned in and handed Mercedes the flask, shuddering slightly as his fingers grazed hers in the exchange.

She shivered as their fingers touched, almost electric. There was only one person that ever made her feel that way from a simple touch. She slowly raised her eyes dreading what she would find. Sam leaning too close, half in shadow, staring down at her with heavy lidded eyes, open just enough to see the darkening crystal green of his eyes.

"Sam! What are you doing here?" she almost rasped, silently cursing herself for her lack of ease in his mere presence.

"What am I doing here? What am I doing? That seems to be the question that defines my whole existence these days. You see just a few months ago I was happily married, to a woman I adored. And now I am getting shit faced outside a crappy bar because my cousin's bitch new wife cut me off."

"Are you spying on me?" How dare he come here and try to guilt her? It is not her fault that he got trashed and decided to do his whorish ex-girlfriend. "You know maybe my lawyer was right and I should have added a restraining order to my divorce documents."

He snatched the flask from her hand and staggered out into the rain. "I am not following you. I actually was here first. I was trying to get nice and drunk."

"I think you have succeeded." She avoided looking at him, choosing to stare at her feet instead.

"Nope. Not nearly. If I were really truly drunk then the divorce papers that the woman I love served me with today, would be nothing but a distant memory. Poof gone. But nope, they are still here," he said tapping his temple for emphasis. "So not drunk enough, baby." He took another long gulp from his flask, smiling as the liquor eased down his throat.

Mercedes 's head shot up, with a hand on her hip in annoyance, she glared. "According to you drinking is what got us into this mess in the first place. A wise person would have tried to sober up and get hold of his life. But no one can ever call Sam Evans wise, can they?"

"No they cannot. I am most definitely not wise. Far from it. I'm an idiot, through and through. Now if you would excuse me I need to get a refill." He turned the flask upside down, indicating its emptiness, before pivoting and heading toward the rear parking lot.

"Where the hell do you think you are going?" she asked running behind him, in the soaking rain, her umbrella forgotten on the sidewalk.

"Re Fill," he responded without looking back. He fumbled in his pockets to find his car keys.

"You are not driving, you stupid, irresponsible ass."

"I'm perfectly fine to drive," he turned and shook his keys in her face, mocking her with each jingle. She tried to snatch them out of his hand, but he only raised his arm higher out of her reach. "You're going to have to work harder than that to stop me Mercedes. Nothing is getting in between me and my scotch. Not even the sight of you jumping up and down with your top clinging to you like that." He licked his lips slowly as his eyes focused on her heaving chest.

"You're such a pig," she retorted as she crossed her arms over her chest. "What did I ever see in you?"

"I ask myself that question every day," he said sadly as he turned his back to her and strode over to his car.

* * *

><p>She came up behind him so quietly; he almost didn't know she was there, but her perfume, that sweet floral fragrance that always intoxicated him, alerted him of her presence.<p>

"Sam please don't do this," her hand covered his as he attempted to unlock the car.

Sam stilled at her touch, staring at her small brown hand over his. It was so warm and it took all of his strength not to turn and take her hand into his own. Just the chance to hold that small part of her made him shudder with an all-consuming need. He missed her so much.

"I'm not going to let you do this to me again. Your constant need to mess up my life with your idiotic antics makes me want to scream. Take out your damn phone and call Figgins. Or I will call the cops."

She patted him down, in search of his cell phone. As her hands glided down his hips, dipping into his pockets, he closed his eyes and focused on her touch. It had been months since she had been this close to him. He could smell her hair; feel her warm breath surrounding him even in the chill of the rain. When her hands roamed over his chest to check the inside of his suit jacket, he could stand no more. He pushed her away, hoping the physical space between them would hide his body's response to her proximity.

"Why would I call my butler Figgins? It is not like I live there anymore." He fixated on the keys that she now had in her hand. How had she managed to snag his car keys?

"What do you mean you don't live there? It's your home."

"No my home was with you, but you kicked me out. Did you expect me to go back to my dad's place where we got married? Where all I would do is sit and be haunted by memories of you?"

"Sam…I didn't -" She reached out and stroked the lapel of his jacket, as she turned her beautiful brown eyes toward him, searching his face, like she always did. A few days ago he would have done anything to have her touching him and looking at him again like this, but this was false, it was nothing but pity, and he didn't need it. Not from her, not from anyone. She decided they weren't worth a second chance, so he was just going to deal with it. He would manage. It is not like he hadn't been here in this same situation before. They always leave.

He jerked back from her abruptly, his brows knitted in anger. "Just save it Mercedes. I know you don't care. Anyway I have a suite at the Beacon Hotel."

"Let me call you a cab."

"Can the fake concern Cede. The little document you had messengered to my office today said how you feel loud and clear. I get it. We're done. You want out. Just leave me alone."

"No." She stuck out her chin and pressed her lips into a firm pout.

Sam knew that look, she meant business. She was always so sexy when she stood her ground. A flash of him pushing her against the car, hands sliding through her hair, nibbling down the column of her throat, kissing her senseless dashed across his mind.

"No?" he asked almost softly as he drifted closer to her face. He wanted to lean over and taste that pout.

"I will take you home, I mean to your hotel. Let me just call Shane –"

"Shane? What the fuck are you calling that asshole for?" Talk about a cold shower on his mood.

"You need to watch your mouth Sam. Shane and I have a date tonight."

"A date?"

"Yes a date."

"Oh I get it. I see now," he said pacing in circles in front of her as he spoke. His hands frantically running through his dirty blond hair as he grew more and more agitated. "Was this your plan all along? Get rid of me and climb into bed with Dr. Doofus?"

"I am not going to discuss my personal life with you,"

"Oh I think you better start discussing Cede. You're still my wife. And I'm not going to let you screw around on me," he growled.

"Let me? You have some nerve. You cheat on me and lie to me about it for months, yet I'm not allowed to have dinner with a friend?"

"A friend, yeah right."

"Yes a friend, one that is honest, and caring, and puts me first."

"Shane is a real prince."

"He definitely is. I think I deserve someone who isn't a screwed up jackass for once."

Pain flickered over Sam's face at her words. His first impulse was a quick retort, but even in his hazy state he knew he didn't have a leg to stand on. She was right. On all counts.

"I'm going to go," he said as he brushed past her.

"I have your keys, moron. Where do you think you're going?"

He kept walking at a steady pace, never looking back, toward the main road.

"Sam!"

He continued to walk in the now pouring rain never once acknowledging her calls. He just needed to get away from her. If only he could get away from his own thoughts. Scotch. He hastened his pace at the thought of getting more drunk.

* * *

><p>"Damn jackass," Mercedes muttered under her breath as she opened the door to his Jaguar with his keys. Before she could start the car, Shane pulled into the parking space beside her, rolling down the window as he came to a stop.<p>

"Mercedes what's going? Are you leaving?"

"Hey, Shane. I, uh, sort of have an emergency to tend to. So I need to go."

"Mercedes wait." Shane got out of the car and came over to her and wedged his large body in the crack of the open car door. "I'm sorry I'm late." He softened his tone and smiled.

"It's okay," Mercedes replied with a shy smile.

"I have been looking forward to tonight all day. Actually longer than that. You're finally free."

Mercedes bowed her head unable to meet his eyes. This was supposed to be the night she celebrated her divorce from Sam. She was finally going to get on with her life and start a new chapter. Somehow the mood to party hadn't quite struck.

"Uh Shane, how much longer are you going to be?" asked a voice from behind them.

"Just a minute Rachel."

"You brought Rachel with you?"

"I came up on her on the side of the highway. She had a flat tire and no spare, so naturally I had to help her out."

"Naturally," Mercedes said flatly.

"I just need to get her home and we can get going."

"You do what you have to do Shane. I need to handle some business of my own."

Roughly shoving Shane out of the open space between the car and the door, she climbed fully into the car. Starting it up and closing the door in one swift motion, Mercedes didn't even look up to see Shane standing there slack jawed as she backed out of the parking lot.

* * *

><p>Hair sticking to her face and her pulse racing she set the car off in the direction Sam had teetered in. He actually brought Rachel? What is it with the men in her life and these supermodel bimbos? OK so she knew what it was that attracted them, they were drawn to those perky little boobs and flat stomachs like a moth to a flame. Mercedes could not compete in that department, not even close. Which made her wonder just what exactly did Shane see in her? Or Sam for that matter. They both said it was about her spirit, her sense of humor, a connection they felt. But all that clearly did not make her enough for them. Did not make her someone they could be faithful to and fully satisfied with.<p>

From the moment she had met Sam she had known he was out of her league. He was rich, charismatic, gorgeous and she was a poor little brat trying to live by her wits and her assets, no matter how small they indeed were. An hourglass figure, albeit an ample one and a sharp tongue didn't go very far up against Barbie doll clones and bimbos. Yet Mercedes had forged on, pursuing Sam with a vengeance and passion she never even knew she had within her. There was just something about him. She just knew deep down in her soul that once Sam stopped and gave her a chance they would be an unbeatable team. After a foray into amateur porn, corporate espionage, and a totally shattered heart later, Sam finally came around. She got her man. Lucky her. He proceeded to cheat on her with his diva pop singing ex, Quinn Fabray. She should have heeded Beiste's advice and just left him alone. No one could wrap Sam Evans around their finger or wrap themselves around his heart.

She spotted him in the distance, walking briskly in the steady rain. His slight limp seemed more pronounced as he hurried along the shoulder of the road. Mercedes pulled up the car alongside him and rolled down the passenger seat window.

"Sam get in." He didn't even look her direction when she called out to him. Sam walked on as if no one had spoken to him at all.

Mercedes trailed slowly beside him, rain falling into the car, drenching the seat. "Sam stop being a butthead. Get your ass into this car!"

She was wet, tired and cold. Why must this man complicate every facet of her life? She couldn't even go out for a celebratory dinner without him somehow messing it all up. She should have been sitting across the table from Dr. Tinsley at BreadStix. Making small talk about the hospital and flirtatiously laughing at his jokes. Her mind was supposed to be finally free of Sam tonight. All thoughts of his sexy full lips and pretty green eyes purged from her mind. She should have known better to think that would be in the cards for her tonight, or any night for that matter. Ever since she stepped foot into Lima, her life had been one big series of accidents, failures, and complications, and the man walking outside her car at this moment was at the heart of the majority of them.

With an exasperated sigh she swerved the car suddenly to the right into the shoulder of the road cutting Sam off.

"Hey!" He jumped back suddenly. "You almost hit me with that thing." She had his attention now.

"You better get in this car now or I am going to pin you under it."

He leaned into the open window, rain dripping from his hair, falling into his eyes, his lips. "You would love that wouldn't you Cede? Me completely out of the picture so you can be free to go diddle your little doctor."

"Did you just say diddle?"

Sam's words started to slur together and his southern drawl became more pronounced as the alcohol and his emotions began to take control. "You two have probably been hooking up all this time. Romps in the supply closet, secret meetings in Beiste's kitchen…were you lying to me Cede? Were you sleeping with him the whole time we were together? Did you always want him instead of me Mercedes?"

Tears stung in her eyes as he poked holes in her carefully crafted armor. The fact that she had given Sam any reason to doubt her love for him because of Shane was her biggest regret. It never failed to make her feel like scum whenever she thought about it.

Seething, Mercedes put her foot on the gas moving the car forward causing Sam to fall to the ground on his butt. If he wanted to be a jerk, he could do it alone. She didn't have to stick around for all his drunken accusations. He was the cheater, not her. Tears blurred her vision as she sped away.

A mile down the road she stopped. Hastily wiping the tears from her face and running her hands through her damp and now frizzy hair she yelled. "Damn you, Sam Evans!" Loud and explosive, releasing all the pent up emotions she had for the man she left on the side of the road.

A few deep breaths, and a glance in the rearview mirror to check if she looked as awful as she felt. She did. Red puffy eyes, ashy skin and her black hair plastered about her face. She was a disaster – inside and out.

"Get a grip girl. You can handle this," she said softly to herself. The emotional pep talk was a lame attempt at bolstering her courage, but she had to try. She couldn't spend the entire night stalled in the middle of Lima Highway 40 crying her eyes out.

Even at her lowest, Mercedes never wallowed. She was strong and proud, and she would never let anyone see her crumble. She had always lived that way. And that wasn't about to change now. Shifting the car into reverse, her eyes trained on the rearview, she made her way back down the road, stopping in front of a dark, wet lump on the side of the road.

* * *

><p>"Give me your hand." Sam looked up to see a small outstretched arm above him. The rain was still steady and the road was dark but that arm seemed to almost glow. "It's cold and it's wet. You have two seconds to grab my hand, so I can help you up, or I'm calling your brother Will."<p>

He grabbed her hand roughly and hoisted himself up off the cold pavement. "Oh you would just love that wouldn't you? Having Will haul me in for being drunk and disorderly."

"Would be the highlight of my year actually," she said over her shoulder as she tried to drag his 6 foot 170lb frame back to her car. "I live to see my husband making an ass of himself every chance he gets."

"Won't be a concern of yours for long," he muttered under his breath.

"Very true. We will be free of each other soon. Finally done." she added softly bowing her head as the words seemed to echo in the air.

Sam could feel the heat of her hand bleeding into his. She had yet to let him go as she pulled him along. He purposely dug his heels into the earth a bit more, made her work even harder to tug him forward, just to prolong the contact. He was a bastard, and he knew it. But he wasn't going to let the opportunity to be this close to her pass.

"Keep kidding yourself Mercedes. You may get your divorce. You may be free of me. But never in a million years will we be done."

She stopped short at his words, turning to face him, causing him to lunge forward, falling into her petite frame. Mercedes liked to think she was a big girl. Always going on about having too many curves and too much extra flesh, but Sam liked her body, actually he loved it. She was solid in his arms, but soft enough to get lost in, her large breasts and full hips were straight out of his childhood dreams. But her 5'2 was nothing against his long and lean 6 foot frame of tight muscle. Sam worked out hard and had the body to show for it. Tightly wound muscle, with his six pack abs, and perfectly sculpted arms. So he caught his weight on the side of the car, trapping her between his body and the car.

She writhed beneath him, trying to budge his rock hard body from its position. He leaned in closing the gap completely between them, her body pinned against his. He could feel every inch of her against him. He shut his eyes for a moment and just savored the forced intimacy.

He shifted closer, warm breath tickling her ear. Mercedes' damp hair across his cheek, her small hands splayed across his chest pushing against him. Sam hadn't felt this alive in weeks. He moistened his lips with a flick of his tongue, so close to her ear that he swore he could hear her pulse pounding.

"Sam get off of me now." she rasped.

Her voice was breathy and he knew he was getting to her. She was relaxing into him, letting her body mold with his.

He trailed feather light kisses just below her ear, to her jaw bone, dragging his lips across her cheek he pulled back and looked into her deep brown eyes, which were lidded, with what he knew was desire. She was his and he knew just what spots made her relent. Almost imperceptibly Mercedes leaned in, anticipating his lips to end their fevered journey on hers. He inched closer slowly moving his gaze from her eyes to her soft full lips.

"Sam," she purred. "Get off of me."

"Make me," he dared as he captured her mouth in his.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Ow Mercedes, you didn't have to hit me so hard."

Mercedes glanced over to see Sam rubbing his still sore ribs as she maneuvered her way down the road.

"Yes I did." Sam was one kiss away from having her half naked on the hood of his car when she punched him squarely in the gut. That was a position she had found herself in far too many times. And this time she wasn't going to let him distract her with his seduction techniques. "You are lucky that I didn't aim lower."

"Oh trust me Rocky Balboa, I am thankful you value my jewels enough to keep your violence clear of them."

"You're such a jerk."

"Don't pretend like you didn't want me back there."

"I would think that punch should be proof enough that I'm serious."

"Ppffh! You always lash out when you're aroused. You and I both know you like it rough -"

The car jerked to the right as Mercedes leaned over and hit Sam on the shoulder.

"Oww!" he barked rubbing his arm. "Stop the violence would ya? And keep your hands on the wheel. You're going to get us killed. Maybe you just let me drive."

"You're drunk Sam."

"Even drunk, I am a better driver than you."

"Not even. You know I can handle myself behind the wheel, learned on the mean city streets. This one guy –"

"I really don't want to hear about your conquests."

"This one guy," she continued as if he never had spoken. "He used to let me drive his Porsche on Highway 1 in Big Sur. I went like 150 miles per hour, it was awesome."

"I know you can deal with the mechanics of driving. What worries me is your lack of focus. You're digging in your purse, checking your phone, applying lip gloss - "

"I do not."

"I have seen you do it. Don't even try to deny it. We have been in this car less than five minutes and your eyes have been on me more than on the road. You have the attention span of a guppy."

"This coming from the guy that can't sit still for ten minutes unless he has a drink in his hand."

"Not true. I sit through many long tedious board meetings."

"Where they serve cocktails."

"I have sat through countless family dinners, even when one of my stepmothers was there droning on and on."

"Where they serve cocktails."

"What can I say? Life is better with a fifth of scotch. You should try it some time. It might calm that hyperactivity of yours. The way you can yap on incessantly about the most mundane topics."

"Are you saying I talk too much?"

"Don't get me wrong. I love your constant chatter. You definitely keep me entertained. I just sometimes wish you had an off switch."

"What did you just say?'

"You heard me. You get all hyped up, going and going. It's like put a sock in it."

"Well the truth finally is revealed."

"As if you didn't know. How many times did I cut you off mid sentence with a kiss? Why do you think we always went to bed early?"

"We have demanding jobs?"

"Nope. I loved looking for your off switch. As I recall it was somewhere down between-"

"I need you to stop talking," she interrupted. "Just sit there and be quiet. I am going to drop you off at the hotel, and then I am getting back to my date."

"You mean the date you left to be with me?"

"I told him I had to take care of something. He knows I will be back."

"So you didn't tell him that the 'something' was your husband. I'm sure he would have been thrilled to hear that bit of news."

"Shut up Sam."

"Oh wait, didn't this happen before? Didn't you skip another date with him to take care of 'something'? A something you couldn't keep your hands off of."

What's his deal bringing that up? It was a year ago and he was drunk – again. Her preventing him from driving drunk had nothing to do with her feelings for Shane. It was in no means a sign of a lack of enthusiasm to spend time with him. And it definitely wasn't a sign that she would rather be around Sam. Nope. All it meant was that Sam needed to start joining Puck at his AA meetings.

"I am just going to ignore you."

She turned the radio on, easing up the volume in the hopes of drowning him out. "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri filled the car. She quickly turned the radio off, not daring to look over at Sam. Afraid of what she might find looking back at her or even worse what she wouldn't find. Did he even remember?

"So why is it Mercedes, that you always ditch that jr. doctor to be with me?"

She gripped the steering wheel tighter, wishing the rain would let up so she could pick up speed. He was deliberately baiting her, she knew it. Always trying to get her to react, like a 6 year old, and she fell for it time and time again, but tonight she was just tired. The last thing she wanted was to be led into another sparring match with Sam Evans.

"I mean it Sam. One more word out of you and I will dump your butt on the side of the road."

"Mmhmm"

"Mmhmm what?"

"Just..." he hesitated. "Never mind."

"Spill it."

"Just that I find it really interesting how you always find ways to be alone with me."

"What are you talking about? We're in a car."

"Exactly alone in a car. You could have called me a cab. Called Will."

"Get to the point Sam."

"My point is darlin, I think that deep down you secretly want to be here. In fact, you will look for any excuse to spend time with me."

"Look at my face. Do you see this face?" She turned toward him indicating with her finger. "This is my I am not amused face."

"Yes I see that face. It haunts my dreams. Those squinted up eyes, those pursed lips, that permanent sneer. Takes my breath away."

"Let's go back to the original plan. You being quiet."

Moments seemed to stretch by and silence enveloped the car. Mercedes had to resist her urge to take sideways glances at him, to see just what he was up to over there. It had to be something.

"Where is that thing?" he asked almost to himself. He roughly emptied his pockets, tossing loose change, receipts, his cell phone into the cup holder between the two front seats.

"What are you doing?" she asked trying to keep one eye on the road and the other on him.

"Looking for something. Do you mind? Eyes on the road."

"You're distracting me with all that movement."

"Baby, I would distract you even if I were sitting still. Don't kid yourself."

She huffed, snapping her eyes back to the road in annoyance. "I don't know why I bother with you."

"Found it!" he exclaimed with drunken excitement holding his flask up in triumph. "I'm going to need you to make a pit stop. Turn off at the next exit."

"Oh no. I'm not making a beer run with you. Get one of your staff at the Beacon to ply you with liquor."

"Helga in housekeeping probably would love to get me drunk and have her way with me, but no. I want you to take me," he ended with a whine.

"Not happening. What you want no longer concerns me Sam."

"We can pick you up a little something too. A wine cooler...oh we can do some shots. Get you all loosened up. Remember that night when Beiste was at the restaurant convention. We had Mexican and drank margaritas made love all night on the kitchen floor."

He had poured tequila in her navel, arching her back to move her belly up to his mouth, to take sips from her body. She couldn't stop giggling and trying to squirm away from him on the cold hard floor, until he finally crawled on top of her trapping her beneath him. His kisses tasted like lime and salt. Of course she remembered.

"Enough Sam" she said softly.

Eyes glazing over as she tried to focus on counting each time the wiper skimmed across the windshield, hoping it would clear her mind of the images. Like counting sheep was supposed to lull you to sleep. She prayed counting raindrops or watching wiper blades would do the same for unbidden memories.

"Let's do that again Cede. You, me, the hotel mini bar. It will be like Nine 1/2 Weeks we can make love in front of the fridge. Let me be your Mickey Rourke. Although I think all I have in my suite is Cool Ranch Doritos and skittles, but mmm I can already taste the rainbow. Think about it, you on your back, my tongue...just everywhere -"

The ring of his phone interrupted him mid sentence. Mercedes was relieved to be saved by the bell. If it had been daylight, she was sure that her face would have shown just how much she had been thinking about the picture Sam had been painting. The phone continued to ring as Sam fumbled to grasp it from the cup holder. Mercedes beat him to it and quickly read the name of the incoming caller.

"Oh look Sam it's your mistress calling. Right on time."

"Just leave it."

"Don't send her to voicemail on my account. I don't care if you talk to Quinn in front of me. It's not like I don't know what you two have been up to."

"There is nothing going on between Quinn and me. I told you before it was a one time thing."

"Maybe one time that night. But I know how big your appetite is, once would never be enough for you. Better pick up. Could be a booty call."

He snatched the phone out of her hand angrily, causing Mercedes to swerve the car into the other lane.

"Apparently she has something important to talk to me about," he said reading the text message that appeared on his phone.

"I don't want to know."

"I thought you said -"

"I don't care Sam!" she yelled.

Silence cloaked the car like a dense fog. The air heavy with unspoken accusations. Mercedes was literally biting her tongue not to unleash all the catty comments that were swirling around in her head. How dare Quinn Fabray call her husband's cell phone? Didn't she have better things to do, like try to convince Puck that she wasn't a trashy whore? Oh wait that would be impossible. Mercedes physically shook her head attempting to brush off all the negativity. She didn't want to be the kind of person that would belittle another woman over a man, even if that woman were a home wrecking slut. Mercedes was better than that. At least she tried to be. She just needed Sam out of the car, out of her life, and she could move on. Focus on her career, her family, and maybe even Shane.

"I'm sorry," Sam said softly.

His voice sounded so small and hollow, Mercedes had to look at him to make sure it was actually Sam still beside her. Sam never did anything small. She observed him looking down dejectedly at his lap. His cell phone abandoned in the small space where his legs were parted.

"Let's just get you home."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Great. There is one last thing though." Pushing the button and rolling down the window, his eyes never leaving Mercedes' direction he tossed his cell phone out of the car.

"What the hell did you do that for?"

"I needed you to know that no one is more important to me than you."

"And turning a perfectly good Blackberry into road kill proves that how?

"I don't care that she called. Nothing is going on between us. I would stop talking to her forever if it would mean that we could be together again."

"How noble of you Sam. You're willing to stop booty calling your mistress for me. If you think for one minute that this stupid little stunt changes anything then - "

"I only want you," he interrupted. "I don't know when it happened. I don't know the exact moment you became the most important person in my life, but it did, and now I'm willing to do anything not to lose you. So if that means walking through fire, taking a bullet, or giving up my oldest and closest friend. I would do it in a heartbeat...for you."

"Just words. They sound real pretty but they don't mean anything. You sure weren't thinking about me when you were screwing my best friend's fiancé."

"Actually you were all I was thinking about that night,"

"That is a little kinky even for you Sam."

"It's true I -"

"Enough! I can't hear anymore. Just stop talking."

"Mercedes please -"

She reached over to physically stop him, putting her hand across his mouth, anything to get him to shut up. He slapped at her arm, squirming to open his mouth, but she pursued him doggedly, turning fully toward him in her seat, her one hand still trying to control the steering wheel. She couldn't let him speak again, too frightened of what he might say.

"Mercedes stop." He was faster than her, even in his inebriated state, and he broke free. "I am being serious. Just listen to me."

"I won't listen to anymore of your lies." She took both hands off the wheel and covered her ears, squeezing her eyes shut as she realized that not hearing him wasn't even enough. He needed to be blocked.

"Mercedes!"

It was a muted loudness and then he was shoving her hard. Snapping to attention she opened her eyes just in time to see the tree they were barreling toward. Then Sam was half in front of her body, laying across her lap, blocking her chest, her view, grasping the wheel, struggling to the control the car, his mobility hampered by the shoulder harness of his seat belt.

Mercedes stared at the broad span of his back, straining under his white striped button down. She felt the car hit a bump, and then it was like they were flying. Time stood still and all she could do was wrap her arms around Sam in front of her and scream.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

It smelled like burning plastic, a toxic film hung in the air. There was a pressure on his chest, like a weight was on him preventing him from taking a breath. Pain radiated down his back as Sam tried to shift his position. His right leg was jammed into the car door, practically fused. The fabric of his pants had ripped and he could see part of his mangled lower leg, the skin scarred and discolored, the calf deformed by the missing chunks of muscle, if he strained his neck higher. Now there were new injuries to his already damaged lower leg. Sam wasn't sure what exactly was wrong but the heavily flowing blood pooling at his ankle couldn't be a good sign. Something was keeping him from moving, Sam turned his head to the left trying to better assess his surroundings, his view partially blocked by his deployed airbag and that is when he saw her. Her back was against the glass of the window, her body contorted at an odd angle. Her seat belt still across her shoulder, but clearly ripped from the seat. She looked like she was lodged into the windshield. She wasn't moving.

"Mercedes," he called out to her. When there was no response, he tried to reach out and touch her. His hand could just reach her knees, where they were jutted out from the dashboard. Sam strained against the unknown pressure to move toward her, but it was to no avail. He was pinned down by something, trapped. "Mercedes please wake up," he called out again, trying to raise his voice, but not able to get enough air to do so.

Sam looked out of window. Through the darkness he could make out the outlines of trees. He guessed they had run off the road into some underbrush. There didn't seem to be a tree in the middle of the car, so he supposed he managed to avoid hitting that one they were heading toward. He said a silent prayer of thanks, knowing things could have been much worse if they had made impact with a tree. Maybe they would get out of this with a few bumps and scrapes, not major damage. A sharp pain radiated down Sam's back as he again tried to shift closer to Mercedes. OK so maybe a bit more than bumps and scrapes for him, but Mercedes looked all right. If only she would wake up. He didn't see any blood on her body, and even though she was half on the dashboard, she didn't seem to have gone through the windshield. Sam quickly said another prayer for that small miracle.

He stroked her knee with his fingertips, hoping that just that small amount of contact would revive her. He remembered this gypsy woman who used to have a booth at the Lima County fair. His mother used to take him there every summer when he was home from boarding school. The gypsy woman always fascinated him, she claimed to have the power to heal with a touch. Five dollars to cure a headache, ten for back pain, and twenty for a broken heart. Sam sure wished she were here now, to put her hands on Mercedes. He would give her a million dollars if only she could do that.

Suddenly the car lurched, seeming to release itself from whatever it was holding onto, it slid slowly backwards, only to stop just as suddenly with a creak and a groan. Sam now found himself still lodged to the seat but on his back, staring up at the roof of the car, his legs almost up in the air. Mercedes slipped down from the dashboard, gravity unable to hold her in place at this new angle. She landed in a heap in the driver's seat, her head hitting the driver's side door on the way down. It was then he noticed that the airbag hadn't released on her side, a reminder to him once again that money couldn't buy everything, that even top of the line safety features can fail. Her head lolled forward as she started to come to, the fall somehow rousing her to consciousness. As she slowly lifted her head, Sam could see the caked mass of blood on the back of her head, coating her black hair like tar.

"Sam?" Her voice searching for him in the darkened car.

"I'm here Mercedes." He squeezed her knee in reassurance, wanting her to feel him there with her. She seemed so frail in that moment as she looked around, disoriented. Sam just wanted to scoop her up in his arms and hold her, let her know they were fine and they were together. But he couldn't. For many reasons.

She sat upright, a look of alarm moving onto her face as she surveyed her surroundings, before finally focusing on him. Her eyes widened. "Sam are you all right?"

She lunged toward him, a blur of dark hair and pink, he instinctively recoiled anticipating the pain if she landed on him. She stopped short of touching him, but he could feel the warmth of her skin as she hovered over his body.

"I'm fine Mercedes."

"You're hurt."

"I'm just a little stuck. My leg seems to be pinned by the door."

"I am just going to take a look. Okay?"

She didn't wait for his response, as she went into nurse mode, hands flitting all over his body. She checked his pulse, poked and prodded, examining all visible areas for injury. Her mouth was set in a grim line, and Sam could see her tearing up as she continued to look him over. He must be in pretty bad shape, she wasn't even talking.

"A mess right?"

"When aren't you?" She tried to joke, but Sam could tell her heart wasn't in it. He swallowed back the thoughts of what could be wrong that would make Mercedes so quiet and serious.

"You're pretty banged up," she started. "And your seatbelt here." Sam hissed in pain as she wiped around the area with the hem of her pink shirt. "Sorry."

"Just stings."

"Well you are bleeding there. I think the shoulder strap cut into you. I'm afraid to try to move it now without scissors or antiseptic."

"It can stay put until help arrives."

"Do you have any back pain?"

"Sometimes. When I try to move I get these shooting pains in my back."

Mercedes shifted closer, leaning over his chest but careful not to make contact, peering into each of his eyes. "Cede if you wanted to make out, you could have asked."

"I'm checking for signs of concussion you fool," she smiled as she continued inspecting his face and head.

"Likely story. Any excuse to be close to me." She rolled her eyes in response and chuckled softly. "How are you feeling? You got a nasty bump on the head."

Mercedes reached up and felt the thick mass on the back of her head. "I must look so gross," she groaned.

"Even in this low light, I would have to agree. You do look gross, horrible even."

"Shut up," she laughed as she playfully swatted in his direction.

She settled back into her seat on the driver's side, instantly cooling Sam. He placed his hand on her knee, which was bent toward him, to maintain that connection. He needed to feel her close in some way.

"Well we definitely got ourselves into a mess." She leaned in closer and kept her voice low.

"It looks like," he agreed. "But we wouldn't be us without a little drama."

"We don't do dull, do we?"

"And here you thought we would end up a boring old married couple. Look at us. A dark rainy night, a deserted patch of road, trapped together."

"So romantic. Not sure if it beats our wedding day." She joked.

"Close though." He couldn't help but smile as he remembered her so beautiful, standing before him as they exchanged his vows. It was such a cliché feeling, but she really did take his breath away that night. He felt like he had won the lottery, he finally had found the one. He looked over at her now, in the moonlit tones of the car, she still looked so beautiful. When they got out of this mess, he would make it his mission to get her back. He couldn't let them just end this way. They were so perfect for each other, didn't seem fair that a stupid mistake could make them lose it all. "Mercedes we're going to be okay. I promise you."

"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep," she said, sliding away from him slightly in her seat.

Lifting her chin with his opposite hand, so she was forced to look him in the eyes, he said, "I can keep this one."

"I don't see how, when you couldn't even keep the promises you made in our wedding vows."

"I deserve that. I know but -" He looked down mentally fumbling for the right words to make this all okay, to take away the hurt he put in her eyes. No matter how much he tried to rationalize all his reasons for cheating, he couldn't get past the simple fact that he had hurt her. Again.

"I shouldn't have brought it up. Now is not the time." She shifted to face forward in her seat, his hand falling away from her knee as she moved.

"Okay." He stared at her profile in the darkness. She was worrying her bottom lip. Something she always did when lost in thought.

"I trusted you," she said slowly. "I thought we were in love. I thought we were solid. I had no idea you were cheating on me. I used to be street smart. You can't con a con, you know?" She gave him a pointed looked.

"Maybe you had your walls down."

"Really Sam? How perceptive of you," she said, raising her voice and turning to face him. Her irritation bleeding through every word. "I actually let my defenses down with my husband. You should think about a career change. Psychology maybe. You analyze like a pro."

"Calm down Cede. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just trying to say that not using your street smarts with me was a good thing. It meant you felt happy and safe."

Angry tears spilled from her eyes as she glared at him. "I was happy and safe. Look where that got me."

"I've been told I'm a great catch. Midwest Style magazine did an article on me once," he said attempting to lighten the dark mood that had taken over the conversation. Sam honestly didn't want to argue with her. Not here, not now.

"Did they list liar and cheat in your profile?"

"I never cheated on anyone before."

She looked like he had hit her. Mouth open, face soaked with tears, her eyes sharp with anger. Damn it he had definitely said the wrong thing.

"So I'm the lucky one. You decide to try out infidelity with poor dumb Cede."

"It wasn't like that and you know it. Extenuating circumstances."

"If you bring up Shane, so help me -"

"I have a right to bring him up. He was all over you in our house."

"One kiss. One stupid goodbye kiss."

"People usually say goodbye before the wedding -"

"And people don't usually go fuck their ex girlfriends at the first sign of crisis. We had only been married a few months and you cheated on me. Do you know how that makes me feel?"

"You were going to leave me at the altar for another man. Do you know how that makes me feel?"

"I have explained that to you."

"Yeah you had a revelation AFTER you had tried to make a run for it. Why did you even marry me? Only because loverboy didn't answer his phone?

"I loved you."

"I feel the love every time I think about you planning to leave me for him."

"I was young, confused, scared -"

"- in love with another man."

"No."

"No?"

"No. Don't pretend like you didn't know how I felt about you. You have always known."

"Having a thing, an attraction for me is completely different than spending the rest of your life with me. I thought you had come to your senses."

"I did come to my senses. We got married."

"I meant come to your senses and realize that you could do better and that I wasn't the man you wanted to marry. The type of man..." He trailed off the rest too painful for him to admit, even now.

She wiped at her cheeks, trying to hide the tears that had fallen, but Sam could hear her voice wavering as she spoke. "Since almost the moment I met you, I have wanted to be with you. I used to fantasize about what it would be like if you loved me and if we were married."

"That was before you got more grounded, found your direction in life. In my experience that tends to make certain feelings fade."

There had never been a woman in his life who still wanted him, the real him, once a certain amount of time had passed. It was like their love had an expiration date. Once they met his family, felt the brunt of his temper, heard his lame impressions, everything was spoiled. Mercedes was different though, or so he thought, she was the one person that seemed to be able to love him completely. She laughed at his jokes, and didn't cringe at his massive comic book collection. His penchant for angry outbursts, his single mindedness when closing a deal, homicidal relatives, Mercedes seemed to take it all without batting an eye. She completely handled him and his family. Actually she did more than handle them, she understood them, she fit in with them. But in time, probably with Beiste's influence, Mercedes had started to waver about being a part of his life. The parts of him she claimed to love, she had started to recoil from him, just as all the others had.

"I have always wanted to be with you, even when I was trying to hate you. You are like stuck on my heart."

"Like a tattoo?"

"Like soap scum."

"I know a remedy for that."

"Comet and a scrub brush?"

"You stop fighting it and keep me around."

"Beiste doesn't like scum in the house. She cleans with a toothbrush."

"And you?" Sam moved as close as his body would allow, which wasn't far since the door, the seat belt and the now constant pain were keeping him at bay.

"I don't get why you work so hard to get rid of something that always comes back," she said softly not meeting his eyes.

"See there." He leaned down and planted a light kiss on her forehead, rubbing her back in soothing circles. He felt Mercedes relax into him, sighing softly as he inched her closer to him.

"You planned this didn't you?" Mercedes asked with a light accusatory tone, pulling back slightly to look him in the eyes.

"Planned what? Being in a car accident?"

"Yes! You knew I was mad at you and you wanted to get my sympathy."

"So I trapped myself in a car to get your attention?"

"Don't look at me like I am talking nuts. I wouldn't put this past you at all. I know what you're capable of, Sam Evans."

"Well is it working?" he asked with a slowly spreading crooked grin.

Mercedes looked down, hiding her face from him. "You drive me crazy. Did you know that?" She looked up at him, her eyes with just a bit more sparkle than before, a smile on her face.

Sam reached out and stroked her cheek, hoping she would let him touch her for a few moments longer before pulling away. Mercedes closed her eyes and leaned into his palm, still smiling.

"Well I should say mission accomplished. At least you're smiling." Slowly opening her eyes to gaze over at him, she put her hand on top of his, caressing it gently before removing it from her face.

As she played with his fingers, on the hand she still held she asked, "Sam how are we going to get out of this mess? I can't find my phone, you threw yours in the street. We need to get help."

"Someone will happen by. It will be okay." Mercedes cocked her head to consider his words. Sam could tell an idea was forming in her mind. That was never a good thing. "Mercedes no," he said before she even opened her mouth.

"You don't even know what I'm going to say."

"Do I really need to? It is going to be one of your hair brained schemes that make things worse than they already are."

"What can be worse than this?"

"What's your plan?" he sighed.

"I am going to go out to the road and flag someone down. Maybe people can't see us from the highway, and they are just speeding by."

"That actually is a good idea."

"I don't appreciate you acting so shocked." She jumped up on her knees excitedly. The seat back that she had been sitting on, moved slightly at the change of weight distribution, but the car seemed to remain steady.

"Mercedes you need to be careful when you get out. No sudden movements."

"Got it!" She eased over toward the door and carefully opened it, pausing inch by inch until there was a space wide enough for her to get out.

"It looks like I am going to have to jump down. The front of the car is off the ground."

"Sitting here like we were on an amusement park ride didn't give that away?"

She shot him a look. "It is different when you actually see things."

Mercedes leaped out the door, disappearing from Sam's view. When she didn't reappear immediately, Sam nervously called out. "Are you okay out there?"

"Yeah," she responded quickly. Her voice was somewhat muffled now that she was outside of the car. Sam had to strain to hear her. "I think I may have hurt my ankle."

"When you jumped?"

"Maybe or when we crashed. I can hobble, it's ok. Oh my God," she gasped.

Sam tried to shift to see what was wrong. "What is it Cede?"

A few moments later she came back to the open door, only part of her face was visible from his position. "So I have good news and bad news."

"Just out with it."

"Good news is we didn't hit a tree."

"Uh. Mercedes we already knew that."

"Just clarifying. Bad news we hit a mountain."

"There are no mountains in Lima."

"Ok a really big rock."

"How can you confuse a rock with a mountain? They are like two completely different things."

"Are you really going to argue with me about that at time like this?"

"Well if you are going to be calling rocks mountains, I think yes. Yes I am going to argue with you at a time like this."

"I'm going to go and check out the rest of the car." She was gone from his view again. Sam couldn't stop muttering about Mercedes confusing a mountain and a rock. "Whoa!" He heard her yell from outside.

"Mercedes," he tried to yell, but the tightness in his chest wouldn't let him raise his voice.

"Sam." Her head popped into view again. "We have to get out of here."

"Again. We already knew this. That is the reason you got out of the car remember?"

"Stop making light of this. We need to get you out of the car now," she said in a rush. She was starting to panic. Sam knew that in a few moments Mercedes may be in a full fledged meltdown if he didn't do something.

"OK. Let's just stay calm. You should just go to the street like you planned and flag down a car. Ok?"

"Don't you freaking tell me to stay calm."

"Mercedes -"

"We are on a cliff Sam!"

"First a mountain, then a rock, now a cliff. Make up your mind," he scoffed.

"I am being serious. This car is half on the edge of some kind of cliff, embankment, hill, I don't freaking care about the geology. It's going to fall."

"Hey Cede. Deep breaths." A feeling of dread started to rise within Sam. Mountains, cliffs, they must be on the part of the highway that sits above the river, in the bluffs. So the likelihood of them dangling over some perch that could send them barreling into the wilderness below, was very possible. She was right they needed to get out of the car. Well he needed to get out of the car. She was already safe. "Mercedes can you get to my side of the car? Maybe we can find a way to unwedge this door."

"Sam I told you," her voice starting to crack. "We hit a mountain." She was starting to cry he could hear the tears in her voice. "I can't get to that side of the car, it's against it."

Sam let her words settle into his mind. So the car door on his side was smashed in by some sort of rock structure. "Cede can you see what is under the car? Is something keeping the wheels off the ground?"

"More rocks," she yelled. "I can see them all under the car and under the wheels." Maybe with no sudden moves, the car will just stay put until help arrives.

"Cede go to the road now and flag someone down."

"I can't leave you here alone. What if the car starts to move?"

"I will be fine. I am stuck here anyway. I couldn't make a sudden movement if I tried. Just go find some help and then come back to me." When she didn't move he called out again. "Mercedes go!" he winced in pain, raising his voice just that little bit, caused a stabbing pain in his chest.

* * *

><p>Moonlight shone through the car, filling it with a warm glow almost like candlelight. All was quiet except for the steady rhythm of the rain hitting the windshield. It would have been peaceful, if Sam wasn't filled with apprehension. He wasn't sure how much time had passed since Mercedes had trekked out to the road in an attempt to flag down a passing motorist. But he knew it had been longer than it should be. This long with no one seeing them could only mean one of two things. One that it was just too late for anyone in their sleepy town to be cruising the streets on a Thursday night, or two that they were too far from the road to be seen at all. It was looking more and more likely that two was a distinct possibility.<p>

The pains in his back that had at first been shooting were now a constant dull ache. His leg was starting to go numb and a chill had fallen over him so much so that he had to consciously force his teeth from chattering. He didn't want to scare Mercedes. He didn't need her worried about him on top of everything else. If only he could just hold it together until help arrived. If it ever did. If someone didn't come up to them soon, he was going to have to convince Mercedes to get out of the car and walk toward town. Maybe if he let her believe she would be doing it to bring help back to him she would go willingly. He couldn't let her know that the true motive for getting her out of the car was to save her. Sam knew there couldn't be much time left for them both, perched precariously on this embankment in his smashed up Jaguar. The last thing he wanted was for them both to go plummeting down the hill into the river or worse into a ball of flames. He would use his last breath to save her. Which ironically could be pretty soon, since he was finding it harder and harder to breath. Even in his incapacitated state, he had to find a way to keep her safe. He already broken her heart and wrecked her life; he wasn't going to let her lose anything else because of him.

"Sam?" She curled up against his side, her head lying lightly on his upper arm. He could tell she was trying to be gentle, in fear of aggravating his injuries. Resisting the urge to endure the pain and pull her closer, he settled on running her damp black hair through his fingers.

"Yeah?"

"You know what I am thinking about?"

Oh no, this cannot be good. Whenever women start thinking in his presence it always leads to trouble.

"No. What?"

"Our first time together."

Called that one. Sam inwardly groaned, thinking of all the ways this conversation could go downhill. It was like some sick joke that he was forced to be stuck in a car reliving all of his past misdeeds. He needed to do damage control.

"Oh yeah? Listen Mercedes about –"

"I'm not done," she interrupted. "So I was thinking about our first time, in that cheap, dingy motel and it sort of reminded me of now."

"Well the car is sort of dark and gloomy, and the rain is starting to give it that mildew smell. So I can see that I guess."

"Not like that," she giggled. "Just how in that motel it was like we were the only two people in the world. That nothing else mattered."

Until they found out that the seedy motel clerk was taping the whole thing. If Sam had known what that man was doing, he would have squeezed tighter around his neck when he had the chance.

"I get that. It does feel like we are on a life raft or something floating at sea."

"Exactly. It only took crashing your Jag to get some quality alone time together."

"That's true. There has always been so much going on with my family or yours. We didn't get much down time did we?"

"Nope. That night in the motel I think was the last time it was just us. No outside world."

"So we are here alone. What do you want to do?" Sam couldn't help but curse his current lack of mobility. Every activity that he could think of involved movement. Lots of it.

"Well first I want you to hold me closer."

"Done." She snuggled into the nook of his arm, her head resting right under his chin.

"Now I want you to tell me a story."

"A story? Not sure if I am so good at that."

"Come on, it will be good practice for when you have kids. Tell me something about your misspent youth."

"Hmm. Let's see, when I was in high school I carved Quinn and my initials in a tree out in the old woods." Mercedes shifted slightly, but remained strangely silent. "I'm sorry Mercedes." The horror of his choice of story hitting him full force. "I don't know why I just said that. It just sort of popped into my head."

"It's okay. I want to know what you were like back then."

"Are you sure?" She nodded against him, so he continued. "Quinn was my first love. You know how everything is new, larger than life, every touch, every kiss leaves you breathless?"

"Yeah."

"I was sixteen and she was it for me. I had never felt anything like it before. She consumed my every thought. You know?" Those gorgeous green eyes, her shiny blond hair, Quinn was stunning. He was so attracted to her even when she was being mean and nasty, tormenting him along with the others in their class. He just couldn't take his eyes off of her.

"Yeah."

"I'm not sure I was the same big deal for her though. I always felt like I had to try to convince her almost as if I was trying to persuade her to love me. Sounds crazy doesn't it?"

"I can understand the impulse. Who doesn't want to be loved in return?"

"I guess you're right."

"So is this where carving your names in a tree came in?"

"Yep, one of my many attempts at romance." Sam laughed to himself.

He could write a handbook for teenage boys. How to Look Like a Complete Ass While Winning the Heart of the Girl of Your Dreams. Definitely would be a best seller. He would just leave out the part about how he never really won said girl's heart. No need to crush young minds with that tragic tidbit.

"Always with the big romantic gesture. Even then."

"Even then. I just thought that if I made everything perfect she would love me. Back then that meant everything to me. Kids always think that first loves last forever I guess."

"You don't believe they can?"

"I used to hope so. For a long time I really hoped so."

It hit him in that moment, he really did no longer harbor any hopes for a future with Quinn. Sam hadn't even truly stopped to realize the momentous change in his heart until now. He struggled to remember the exact moment when he stopped wanting to be with Quinn. He guessed it must have happened gradually like a slow healing wound. One day you look at it and the pain is gone, and the scar is fading. His feelings for Quinn must be something like that, a fading scar, just barely visible to his naked eye.

"I'm starting to feel slighted. Quinn got you to vandalize a tree, and for Rachel you rented out a theater and put her name in lights. Didn't you buy your ex-wife Brittany a private island for her cat?"

"Not one of my finer moments."

"No one can accuse you of not caring enough. You go to extremes for the people you love. I can't help but respect your passion."

"What you call passion, most call crazy."

"Even so. It must be nice to be loved like that."

"You don't think I love you like that?"

A beam of light beamed into the car, causing Sam to squint his eyes at the invasion.

"Whoa! Looks like you two got yourselves in quite a pickle."

"Will? What are you doing here?"

"I think the correct response is – Will, thank God you're here."

"Did you see us from the road?" asked Mercedes.

"No you guys are too far back, but we did get your signal."

"Signal?"

"Your collision detection system. Your car automatically called 911 when you had an impact." Will directed his flashlight to various areas in the car, presumably checking for damage. As if the car being halfway down a hill wasn't proof enough that they were in need of roadside assistance. Lima's finest at work.

"How come you didn't tell me you had that Sam?" she asked turning to look at him.

"I didn't know I had that. I did order the complete package on this baby though."

"Thank goodness for you that you did. You look a little pale there baby bro," said Will shining his flashlight directly into Sam's face.

"His leg is pinned against the door. There is some bleeding at the point of impact, just above his knee, but it seems to have stopped so I don't think he hit an artery. He has been having back pains and his breathing is getting more labored. I think he might have punctured a lung and who knows what other internal damage. We need to get him to a hospital."

"And how about you Mercedes?" asked Will. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine –"

"No she's not," interrupted Sam. "She hit her head on the windshield and she was limping when she got out of the car earlier. She needs to be checked out."

"Paramedics are on the way. I responded to the call personally because I was the closest officer in the area and of course because it was my brother."

"Thanks for coming."

"Anytime. Here's the thing. We need to get this car level so that the paramedics can have easier access to Sam when they arrive. So how about you jump on out here kiddo and I will hook the cable from my truck to the front of the car and try to pull it up."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Mercedes, I would feel better if you just waited safely outside the car while he did this."

"I'm not leaving you alone. Will, go get your cable but I am staying put. If Sam needs medical attention, or anything I will be here," she said turning to look him in the eyes. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Will, do what you have to do. I will talk to my wife."

"Okay you do that. I will be right back," said Will.

Will disappeared from Sam's sight line, taking his very bright flashlight with him. Darkness once again settled over the car.

"Mercedes –" Sam started.

"Nothing you can say will persuade me to leave this car." She crossed her arms over her chest, a determined look on her face. This was going to be a battle, Sam knew it.

"Mercedes please. I need to know you are safe."

"I feel the same way about you," she said smiling sweetly as she stroked his cheek.

"Good, so you'll wait outside the car."

"No. I'm going to snuggle back next to you and talk your ear off." Mercedes moved back to her original spot, in the crook of his arm, her head against his upper chest. This time she was closer, the side of her body curved along his.

"Cede, this is not a game. Anything could go wrong. I could never forgive myself if something happened to you because of me."

"Nothing will go wrong. Your big brother Will, the police commissioner, is going to pull us up and everything will be fine. But once we get out of this mess, everything is going to change."

"How so?"

"We will be getting divorced, moving on with our lives. Apart."

"Let's not think that far ahead right now."

"I just want to be in this moment with you."

He nodded in agreement. "Floating on our raft."

"No outside world. This could be our last chance to be like this."

"To be just us." He put his hand under her chin, tilting her head up toward him. Before she could protest he brushed a whisper soft kiss across her lips, throbbing pain preventing him from bending closer to kiss her fully, the way he longed to. "How can I say no to that?"

"You can't," she replied as she wrapped her arm around him, caressing the hair at the nape of his neck, leaning up and resting her forehead against his.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"You're shivering. How come you didn't tell me you were cold?" Easing into the small gap of space between them, Mercedes pressed her torso into his side, allowing her body to warm his.

"It's not like we have blankets. Besides I didn't want you thinking I was trying to trick you into keeping me warm with your body heat."

"You're teeth are chattering. Maybe I can reach your jacket back there. If I climb over –"

"No sudden moves," he interrupted realizing she was about to maneuver her way into the back seat. "I'm fine."

"You are not. Quit trying to be all macho and brave."

"I'm a man. It's what we do."

"In my experience men usually act like babies when in pain. Remember when you had that cold?"

"It was the flu! My head hurt like hell."

"You whined constantly. You made me spoon feed you soup."

"And grilled cheese. Don't forget that."

"How could I? You actually pouted when I didn't cut the crusts off."

"Well my mom always did."

"I can't even imagine Sue Evans Sylvester in the kitchen."

"She used to make hot chocolate on the stove. She'd heat the milk, add the cocoa powder, and melt in some chocolate chips. It was the best."

"You must have been adorable as a kid. All lips and missing teeth."

"I was a handful. Kept getting into trouble. I used to take things apart. To fix them, you see."

"I'm sure Dwight loved that. His heir doing manual labor."

"One time I fixed his desk chair in the study. He had a board meeting at the house, sat down in his chair, and bam, hit the floor."

"Oh no," she laughed. "Bad little Sammy."

"My dad actually chased me around the house after that. Trying to catch me. He kept yelling for Figgins to cut me off at the pass. But I was too quick."

"Now I see why you were the football stud in high school."

"I used to be pretty light on my feet. Until this." He gestured toward his leg caught in the door.

"I think it was months after I met you that I found out what happened to your leg."

"Was it when you first saw me with my pants down?" he asked hoping to change the subject.

"No. You know it took me far longer than a few months to get those off of you."

"Trust me, I wanted to let you get me naked almost from the first day we met. Took lots of willpower and cold showers."

"Revisionist history there I think. As I recall, it was Rachel Berry that had you all hot and bothered."

"Nope it was you. She was a good distraction though, a really good distraction."

"Enough reliving the good old days of you and Rachel pawing all over each other. Once was enough for me."

"Fair enough. But you were the forbidden fruit. I couldn't have you, and it drove me crazy."

"Little did you know you could have had me any time back then."

"I couldn't do that. You had been through enough. You didn't need someone as screwed up as me jerking you around. Tried to keep a distance from you."

"Until Rachel broke your heart and you rebounded with me at the motel."

"I wouldn't put it like that. I just couldn't fight it anymore that night. It was like all I could see was you. It felt so right."

"Until the next morning when the one you really loved came back and you quickly dumped my ass.."

"I'm still so sorry you got hurt with all that. Sometimes it's hard to let yourself see what you really want. To ask yourself the right questions."

"I know. I've been there," she said with a small sigh. "Still hurts to have it happen twice. You keep throwing me over for other women."

"Twice? When did I hurt you like that again?"

"Quinn? Remember that little roll in the hay?"

He was an idiot. When would he ever learn to think before opening his mouth? It was as if he were compelled to keep pouring salt into her wounds.

"I keep telling you it wasn't like that. I was hurting."

"Just like you were hurting when you slept with me that first time. Seems to be a pattern with you. Sam gets his feelings hurt so he makes it all better by sticking his –"

Will cleared his throat as his flashlight beamed into the car, stopping Mercedes mid sentence. "Sorry to interrupt," he began looking a bit uncomfortable. "I wanted to tell you that I got the cable all hooked up. I'm going to drive my truck forward and pull you up. So brace yourselves."

"Thanks Will." Perfect timing big brother, Sam added silently, relieved to have escaped that conversation.

He had been trying all night to get Mercedes to remember the good times, their love, but she seemed determined to keep bringing up the bad. Sam guessed he couldn't blame her, he had treated her pretty poorly over the couple years he had known her. He just hadn't realized how much she seemed to resent him for his past actions. Foolishly he had believed that this was all behind them.

"Shouldn't be long now. Let's get ourselves ready to be moved."

"Cede, I need you to understand about Quinn."

"Later. Now is not the time." She wrapped her arms snuggly about his body, one arm behind his head the other across his chest, just below his wound from the seat belt.

"Does it hurt you when I put my arms around you like this?"

"Never hurts when you touch me." Only when you let me go, he thought.

"Ok so I'm just going to hold you like this while he pulls us up."

Her face was neutral, her tone all business. Sam had to get through to her. He had to make her see that she was getting it all wrong. "You mean everything to me Mercedes."

"Sam not now."

"Yes now. You keep walking away or trying to shut me up. It's like you don't want to hear the truth."

"The truth? How can I believe a word you say? You slept with another woman and lied about it!"

"I love you so much."

"I bet you say that to all the girls. In fact, I know you do."

"Stop being stubborn! Listen damn it!" An onslaught of coughs racked his body causing him to bend forward in pain. His chest constricted and he couldn't catch his breath.

"Sam shh shh." Mercedes soothingly rubbed his back, trying to get him to relax. She talked softly in his ear, words he couldn't make out, but just being near her helped him breathe. "I think you need to stop talking for a bit. You have to conserve your energy, concentrate on breathing."

"I need you to understand." His voice scratchy from coughing, he could barely speak above a raspy whisper, his breath now coming out in short wheezes.

"I do. I do understand. That's the problem. I always knew that you would find someone else. I just hoped it wouldn't be so soon. That you'd be mine for a little longer."

The car jerked forward as Will's Range Rover accelerated. The cable strained between the two vehicles taut from the added weight. Their seats shuddered back into place as the front wheels hit the ground. Sam grimaced in pain as his pinned leg shifted against the exposed metal of the car door.

"Did you hurt something?" Mercedes asked alarm evident in her voice.

"My leg and this damn door. I guess moving the car shifted things."

"Can you pull it out now?"

"I have been trying this whole time. It still won't budge." More coughs choked his speech as he tried to pull his leg from the door. Mercedes placed her hand on his arm to still his motions.

"I'm going to take a look. If we can just get this door to budge." She leaned across his lap, to get better access to the door, her hair covering her face as she examined his leg.

"Leave it. The paramedics will be here soon."

It was like shrapnel was lodged in his leg, with his every movement he could feel pieces of the door scrape his bone. The pain was almost unbearable at times, but Sam had learned how to detach himself from physical discomfort. If he had mastered nothing else as a soldier, it was that skill. He knew how to manage pain, of the physical variety at least. But he didn't need her to see him in this condition, for her to know that he was not only broken with his deformed lower leg, but also now too weak to even help them out of this mess.

"Stop being so squeamish about your leg. There's nothing I haven't seen. I'm your wife and practically a nurse. By the end of next semester I'll be a licensed professional."

"I don't like you fussing over me. It makes me feel weak."

"You always try to hide your leg from me."

"It's not like you ever let me. Always touching it."

Mercedes was always so curious. He would catch her taking peeks at him while he was getting dressed or coming out the shower. It was as if she were compelled to catch a glimpse of his scarred limb. No matter how much he tried to hide it from her, she always managed to catch him exposed.

Sometimes when they were in bed she would reach down and stroke his leg, massage the muscles tenderly. He didn't know what to make of her. No one had ever focused on that part of him before, most people, including himself, tried to ignore the fact that a part of him was defective.

"Why wouldn't I touch it? It's a part of you." She held his gaze for a moment, before returning her attention to his leg. "So be quiet now. Maybe we can work together and get your leg out of this."

The bleeding had started again. Sam watched as Mercedes took off her pink shirt leaving only a thin creamy tank top covering her upper body, a stunning contrast against her smooth brown skin.

"I'm going to use this to try to stop the bleeding. I see why I can't move your leg," she announced as she tore her shirt into strips to tie to around his wound. "A part of the door is embedded into your leg. The skin is all torn and I think that is exposed muscle tissue."

"Graphic." He made a face, his stomach churning at the imagery.

"Sorry. I get carried away," she said sheepishly.

"Don't be. It's okay. I like watching you in medical mode. You're a natural."

"You think?" she asked throwing him a smile. "I always feel like I don't fit in, like people are looking at me thinking who'd she do to get into this class?"

"Stop. You have a high GPA and doing me didn't get you those grades. I looked into pulling strings. I was told no dice."

"An Evans being told no. That must have not sat well with you," she teased.

"I was pissed as hell, let me tell you. I got them back though. Made the cafeteria start Mystery Meat Mondays."

"Yuck, that was you?" She scrunched her nose in distaste.

"Yes. My wrath knows no limits," he said in Darth Vader's voice. Mercedes laughed quietly as she continued to dress his wound.

"So how are you two doing in here?" Will's rain soaked head popped into the car interior, this time without his trusty flashlight.

"He's losing a lot blood, Will. What's holding the paramedics up?" She ran her hand through her hair, pushing it away from her face, as she looked expectantly at Will.

"Do you mind if I speak to my brother alone for a minute?" asked Will as he gestured to Sam with his eyes that this conversation was of some urgency.

"I'm not leaving him, Will."

Sam turned Mercedes to face him, his hands running up and down her bare shoulders as he spoke. "Cede I'll be ok. Why don't you borrow Will's phone and call Beiste?" She looked from Will to Sam uncertainly, but he could tell she was caving. "It'll just be a few minutes."

"Fine. But don't let him talk too much. He needs to focus on controlling his breathing."

"Understood," replied Will as he held out his hand to help Mercedes from the car.

Will watched Mercedes walk a few yards away from the car, out of earshot, before turning back to Sam with a serious look. "So there was a pile up on 80. You know the rain."

"That's the delay? Were there any casualties?"

"Afraid so."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"I managed to connect with Dwight. He is sending a private rescue squad and the medivac helicopter from the next county."

"Maybe we shouldn't mention this to Cede. She's dealing with enough as it is."

"She sure is a feisty one," Will said looking back toward where Mercedes was standing using his phone.

"Tell me about it." He smiled. "But it's just a front. She's really scared."

"And you? Can't be easy trapped in here." Will glanced over at him before tentatively reaching in and patting Sam on the arm. Sam knew he must have been mentally sizing up his injuries, trying to determine just how critical the situation was. His brother was oddly quiet, which could only mean that Will was thinking things were looking pretty bad for him.

Sam tried to allay his fears, downplaying his near constant pain. "I've seen worse in combat. I just need her safe."

"Is this the guilt talking? I know you and her are on the outs."

"She's still my wife Will. She's everything to me."

"And Quinn?"

"Ah Will. I screwed it up with both of them. I have turned Quinn into the town slut. All because I was a drunk ass."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. It does take two."

Feelings of shame overtook him as he remembered just how much his idiotic actions had screwed up Quinn's life. "I pushed it there with Quinn. I should've kept it zipped."

"And she should have said no."

"Will," Sam warned.

"Just putting it out there," he said, hands in the air signaling his retreat from the subject. "You're not alone in this blame game you're playing."

"Speaking of alone," Sam paused running his hand through his hair. "You have to promise me you'll look out for Quinn."

"What are you talking about? Help is on the way." Will leaned further into the car, blocking the space of the open door with his body, as if he wanted to make sure Mercedes would not overhear their conversation.

"If something happens, I need you to promise. Everyone hates her in this town."

"She does have her family in Chicago right?"

"She's too proud to go to them. I know her. She'll stay in Lima and face down the lions. I need you to check on her from time to time. Make sure she's holding it together."

"What about your wife out there?" he asked gesturing toward Mercedes with a slight tilt of his head.

"She has many people that love her. Her father, Puck, Beiste, hell even my family will have her back. I don't have to worry about her. She'll be fine."

"Don't be so sure about that. She won't have you."

"She'll be better off. Trust me on that one."

Sometimes he felt like he was the worst thing that ever happened to her. He should have trusted his first instinct and just kept his distance. She was too young, had been through too much to have to deal with his screwed up life. Many times, especially in recent weeks, he felt like walking away from her completely would be the best option. Too bad he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"OK time's up boys," said Mercedes reappearing behind Will. He stepped aside to let Mercedes back into the car.

"The Mrs. has spoken," said Sam hoping that Mercedes had not heard any of what he said to Will. The last thing he wanted was for her to be worried any more than she already was.

"I'm going to light some flares, so the chopper can find us," Will stated.

Mercedes climbed in the car, resuming her position in Sam's arms, as Will walked back toward his truck.

"Chopper?"

"My father sent a helicopter."

"Gotta love Big Poppa D."

"Don't let him ever hear you call him that. So did you get a hold of Beiste?"

"Yes. She's worried sick. She's going to meet us at the hospital."

"Good. Glad she will be there for you."

"I found this blanket in Will's truck," she said reaching down to grab the blanket she placed at her feet. "Now we can warm you up."

"All I need is you next to me and I'll be fine." He pulled the blanket up around the two of them, covering everything but their heads.

"Lucky for you I had nothing better to do tonight. So you're stuck with me."

Failing to squash down the twinge of jealousy as he remembered what Mercedes had originally planned to be doing tonight and with whom, he was compelled to ask, "Did you call Shane? I'm sure he's wondering why you stood him up."

"I didn't even think of it." Just the answer he was hoping for. She always forgot about that idiot when she was with him. Or so it seemed.

"You can go do that now if you want," he suggested, anxious to hear her response.

"Not getting rid of me that easily Mr. Evans. Besides it's my turn to tell a story."

A smile broke out on Sam's face as he pulled her closer to him, her thick thigh draped across his knee under the blanket. "Do I get to hear about your misspent youth?"

"I don't have much good to say as far as childhood memories. Smoke filled back room poker games, random men, and a psycho bitch mom are not good storytelling material."

"You can tell me anything. You know that right?" Swallowing the lump that always formed in his throat whenever he thought about what she was forced to do as a child, he would kill Keisha Jones with his bare hands, if the woman were not already dead.

"Should I return the favor and tell you about my first love?" she asked as she drew slow circles with her fingertips on the back of his hand. Just that simple light touch was driving him crazy. He wanted to feel her again, her body against his, her warm breath on his neck as she kissed her way down to his chest. Shutting his eyes, reveling in the memory of what it felt like to be with her, he tried to focus on her voice.

"Not that I relish the thought of you and another man, but I guess fair is fair."

"Well my first love was older. I never seem to like boys my own age. Blame dear old Keisha for that one. But anyway he was older and so beautiful. He had these really expressive eyes and a smile that just lit up the room. I think my heart literally skipped a beat when I first saw him."

"You are so corny."

"Hey! No comments from the audience."

"Sorry," he chuckled. "Tell me more about Mr. Smiley."

"Well he was infuriating. A complete arrogant jerk that drove me crazy almost every time I saw him."

"He sounds like a nightmare."

"He was. Self-entitled, conceited, I think he actually believed every woman would just bow down to be with him."

"Wow. And you were in love with this guy?"

"Sadly yes. When I didn't want to beat him down, I wanted to kiss him. It was complete madness. At one point I think I would have made a pact with the devil himself just to spend the night with him."

"He must have been some charmer to make you consider calling on the prince of darkness."

"He definitely thought he was."

"He doesn't sound like he had any redeeming qualities at all. What ever did you see in him?"

"For one thing he made me laugh. At first glance he seemed like a typical snobby rich pretty boy, super serious and full of himself. Not to say that he wasn't, because he totally was. But when no one was watching he had this other side, where he'd unexpectedly do an impression or tell a silly joke."

"Sounds like a dork to me."

"Yeah", she smiled. "He was at times, especially when he started speaking Navi or when a new Marvel movie was released. He would just try to keep it on the dl but I noticed. Also he challenged me. Like he had this way of looking at me, like he could see right through me and he knew that I wanted more, that I was capable of more. He pushed me to dream in a way, something I never did thanks to my childhood, but in his own way this guy made me take a chance on myself and actually work to make my wishes come true. At first I wanted to be a better person to impress him, like maybe if I became a better person he would like me and want me like I wanted him."

"He didn't?"

"Well I sort of suspected he did. I used to catch him staring at my booty a lot. But I wanted more from him than something physical."

"You wanted to be loved in return."

"I guess." She shrugged. "I wanted him to see me as someone worth his time."

"I'm betting he did," he said softly as he ran his fingers up her bare arms, loving the contrast between their skin tones.

"And how would you know that?" she asked turning to look at his face.

"I know you. You have this amazing heart, you only share it in small doses, but if he were lucky enough to get a glimpse. He would have realized how special you are. At least that's how it was for me."

"I guess Mr. Smiley didn't get a glimpse. I don't think he truly noticed me until he was out of options."

"Meaning?"

"His girlfriend dumped him."

"I thought this was a first love story. I'm not feeling much love here."

"It's sort of sad isn't it? To realize that you were just sloppy seconds to the first man you ever truly loved. I don't even know why I told this story."

"I think you were just trying to top my first love story, where I was dumped for another guy. I know how you hate to be outdone."

"What a sad pair we are."

"I think it's kind of perfect. We've been hurt in the past, so that makes us appreciate the good all the more now."

"Hmm I was thinking it made us emotionally shut down and unable to trust enough to truly give our hearts."

"Maybe that was true at one time, but not anymore," Sam said leaning his head against the side of hers.

"Speak for yourself. I'm feeling pretty jaded these days."

"Mr. Smiley was an idiot."

"You think?" she asked turning to look at him.

"If he didn't realize what an amazing person he had in his life, he didn't deserve to be loved by you. How could any man in his right mind pass up the chance to be with someone as funny, smart, and uniquely beautiful as you?"

Reaching up with both hands Mercedes grabbed his face, his full cheeks resting on her palms, she gazed at him, her eyes shining in the moonlight.

"What?" Sam asked uncertainly, unable to read her expression.

Mercedes only smiled in response before she leaned over and kissed him full on the lips. Deeply, her mouth caressed his with gentle pressure. Sam smiled into her as he put his hand on the small of her back, easing her forward as he returned the kiss. She placed a few more small pecks on his lips, the last lingering briefly, before pulling back and looking at him again.

"What was that for?" he murmured still reeling from the feel of her lips on his.

"Just for a moment you reminded me of Mr. Smiley."

"So my lips were a stand in to fulfill your fantasy?"

"Something like that."

Trying to cover the smile playing at his lips he said with mock seriousness, "Anytime you feel the need to take a trip down memory lane, my lips are available."

"I'll keep that in mind," she said with a smile as she rested her head just below his shoulder.

* * *

><p>There is something about facing possible death that just makes everything more clear. Huddled under a small gray woolen blanket with Mercedes in his arms and the sound of rain tapping on the windshield with only the gentle glow of the moon illuminating the car's interior, Sam was at peace. His eyes glazed over as he stared out the side window at the faint glow of Will's car lights. His vision may have been hazy but his mind was decidedly in focus.<p>

If ever there were a perfect moment in the past four weeks of his life, since Mercedes found out that he slept with Quinn and his entire world had shattered, this was it. She was next to him gently stroking his neck, her fingers laced through his, her head on his upper chest, telling silly little stories about her work at the hospital. It was like how their lives used to be, their before bed ritual, in each others arms recounting their day. It was perfect. And Sam didn't want it to end.

Sam wished he could capture this moment in a jar, to protect it and keep it safe, like he used to when he caught fireflies on summer nights by the lake as a kid. Living mementos of the dew infused evening air that filled his lungs as he chased down the magical flying lights, capturing them delicately in his bare hands, peeking through trembling thumbs to see their glow as he carried them to their destination. A mason jar with holes punched in the lid that he would place proudly on his bedside table, and let the intermittent glow lull him to sleep. If only there were a jar for memories and unbelievably perfect moments. He would keep this one in it, to prolong it, maybe make it last forever, or at least for another day. Everything he had lost was found again, right here, alone in this car, with her.

Her heart was his.

He felt it to his core. So resounding and true. They always had this connection. That persistent electricity that never dimmed even when they both were trying their best to shut it out. In the quiet of the car, where minutes seemed to stretch on like hours, he could feel what was always there.

She loved him.

And they were never going to be together again.

It was so apparent now, all his wishing and plotting the ways to win her back, would be of no use. Deep in his soul he felt that there would be no point.

It wasn't that Sam was losing hope of being rescued from the car. He was sure help would arrive soon. But he was also acutely aware that his body was shutting down. His breathing was more and more labored. He was cold down to his bones; no blanket or body heat could warm him. He no longer felt his legs, the pains in his chest and back were gone. All that was left was the feeling of Mercedes in his arms and even that at times felt so faint, he had to look down and make sure she was still there.

He was dying, slowly, but most surely. And the moment he let himself fully acknowledge that fact tranquility came over him. If these were to be his last moments, he wasn't going to waste them.

Because this was a gift.

He was getting to spend this time with her.

He planted a kiss on top of her head, pulling her in closer to his body. "I love you so much," he murmured into her hair. "You are a part of me. That connection we felt since we met. I think that was God's way of telling us we were meant to be."

"Sam, what's gotten into you?" she asked as she pulled back to look into his eyes." I never knew you were so spiritual."

"I was just thinking about the night I proposed to you."

"New Years Eve."

"Yep. Gave you a big shock didn't I?"

That night he was so excited. He was coming out of his skin in anticipation of giving her the ring. He had paced the floor of their hotel room with the gift behind his back, just waiting, for the right moment. He finally had his chance to be with her and he had to let her know how much that meant to him. How much she meant to him.

"Big time. I thought I was going crazy, or you were. Never saw that coming."

"I can see how you could think I was a bit off my nut, proposing and we had barely started officially dating."

Sam hadn't intended to propose to her, not really. In the back of his mind he knew he wanted to be with her forever, but he wasn't consciously planning to make that much of a commitment so soon.

They took a mini vacation to New York City, to watch the ball drop with Ryan Seacrest because she'd never been to the city. Sam had been so thrilled she agreed to celebrate the New Year with him. He wanted to make their trip perfect, so she would have no doubts by the time they came back home how much he cared about her. Strolling through Lima City Mall a few days before they were supposed to leave town, Sam searched for that perfect gift to give her for Christmas. What did you give the woman that essentially changed your life and made you believe anything was possible again? Hallmark didn't make a card for that.

So he continued wandering the mall, peering into store windows covered in fake snow and gilded bows, and it hit him. There would be nothing in the mall special enough for her. Nothing that would equal all she had already given him. What he needed to give her was his heart.

"Most guys start with flowers, not diamond rings."

"True. But I have never been like most guys."

"I could tell that about you from the first time we met. There was just something about you that drew me in."

"I felt the same way about you."

It was at Breadstix, the day they first met, when she randomly sat at his table pleading with him to pretend to be her date, because the guy she was supposed to be there with was a boring disappointment and she needed to escape. Normally Sam wouldn't have partaken in such a plan, helping a girl stand a guy up went against his male pride, but there was something in her eyes that led him to believe there was more going on with her than just running away from a bad blind date. So Sam let her be his guest for dinner and listened to her talk incessantly about everything and nothing at all while he sat back and watched, practically mesmerized by this ball of energy sitting across from him. After dinner, she gave him only her name and a dazzling smile, and he couldn't get her out of his mind. Those sad brown eyes haunted him.

"Do you ever think maybe if we had taken things slower, not rushed into marriage that things would have turned out differently?"

"For me it really didn't seem rushed. Once I realized that you were the one I was looking for all along, everything just sort of fell into place."

"Didn't it matter to you I was dating someone else?"

"Well I can't say I liked it. But I truly believed we were meant to be and you would end up where you belonged. Maybe I should have waited patiently for that to happen. I just felt like we had wasted too much time already."

"I was scared. It seemed so sudden. I didn't know if I could trust how I was feeling."

"I know. I was scared too for a long time. I think that's why I fought us for so long. I couldn't believe what I was feeling, that you were what I always hoped for."

"You rejected me at every turn. I didn't want to trust you with my heart anymore. But when you proposed, how could I not say yes?" She smiled as if she too were picturing that night her head, as he was.

"It was fate. All the ups and downs we went through."

"Hating each other?"

"Even that. It was all our long courtship. Pretty unconventional, wouldn't you say?"

"Definitely. Especially since we both dated other people during the time."

"Rachel and Shane could never really change what was between us."

"I don't know Sam. A lot of damage was done because of other people. There was a lot of pain."

"But the love was always there." Grasping her chin and lifting her head toward him, he stared into her eyes. "Tell me you didn't always feel it. Even right now. You know it will never be over between us. We're perfect for each other. Just admit it."

Mercedes tried to move away from his grasp, to break his gaze, but he wouldn't let her. He needed her to say it, what he knew she was fighting.

"Sam, just stop this." She turned away from him completely, still in his arms but she would not face him. "Nothing good can come from this conversation."

"I need you to say it Mercedes. I need to hear it," he pleaded.

"It doesn't matter if you still feel the connection, or even if I do. What we have is done. There's no going back."

"We always find a way back."

"Not this time." Even in the low light, he could see the tears shining in her eyes. She was pleading with him to let it go. But he couldn't, he needed her to know.

"I will always find my way back to you. I promise you that."

"Stop making promises you can't keep." She was crying now, tears streamed down her face, and her shoulders shook as her emotions released. Sam pulled her into his chest, ignoring the slight sting of pain as she grazed his wound.

"Always, Mercedes. I promise you."

* * *

><p>"Good news you two," said Will leaning his head into the car. "I spotted the chopper overhead."<p>

"Finally," Mercedes turned and smiled at Sam, wiping the tears from her face. "Now we can get you taken care of."

"I have been in good hands. Had my own private nurse."

"I will feel much better once a doctor gets a look at you," said Mercedes pressing the back of her hand against his forehead, checking his temperature.

"I am going to direct them where to land. How about you come help me Mercedes?"

"Will, I don't want to leave him."

"Mercedes I'll be fine. Will clearly needs your help."

"Will just wants me out of this car. You two are in cahoots. Don't think I don't know you guys are signaling each other over my head."

"She certainly is a stubborn one. And here I thought that was solely a Pillsbury family trait. You could give my wife Emma a run for her money."

"Shouldn't you be directing the helicopter down Will? Why are you wasting time with me? I'm not going anywhere." Will reluctantly left them alone again, heading back toward the road to deal with the medivac crew.

"Now when they move you out of here Sam, you could experience some pain. I am going to be right by your side the whole time. So if the pain gets to be too much, you just squeeze my hand," she said putting her small hand into his much larger one. Sam pulled it to his lips and lightly kissed across her knuckles.

"Thank you for caring about me."

"I'm a nurse. It's my job."

"Your bedside manner is incredible," he said as he lifted his eyes up toward her, watching her face as he turned her hand over and kissed the inside of her wrist. Feeling her shiver slightly, he smiled as he released her hand. "I wish you still were wearing your rings."

He traced the spot on her finger where her rings used to be, before she moved her hand out of his reach, rubbing where he had just touched. "First day I have ever not worn them."

"Makes sense. Probably not the most appropriate jewelry to wear on a date with another man."

"Don't start Sam."

"I'm sorry. I don't want to argue with you. I shouldn't have said anything about the rings. It just bothered me to see you without them on. It makes me feel like you're erasing me from your life."

"That tends to happen in a divorce."

"I know," he said quietly.

"I can see the helicopter," said Mercedes excitedly pointing out the open door. "You think they brought tools to get the door off of you? Do you think Will even told them you were stuck?"

"Let's just relax and let them do their job."

"You're so calm about all of this. It's like you're not even scared."

"Help is here, so no reason to be upset right? Although, I was very nervous when the car was tilting and you wouldn't get out. If I had the strength I would have pushed you out of the car."

"I couldn't leave. What if something happened to you?"

"I would rather something happen to me than you. I was scared to death the car would fall and you would be hurt. I need you safe, that's all I care about."

"I would barely cause a ripple in the pond of life if I were to die."

His mind flashed to her lifeless body. Images of her cold, and ashen, her clothes stained with blood flooded his mind. "I don't want to talk about this. You dying."

"I'm just saying, more people would be hurt if you were to leave this world. You're Sam Evans, the heir to an empire, people know you. I am just a little ole nobody, trying to be a nurse. Who would care? Besides maybe my dad and Beiste."

"Don't put yourself down like that Cede. You matter. All the people you care for at the hospital, your friends, your family, me. You are so loved and you would be missed if you were gone."

"That's sweet, but I wonder how you will feel a year from now. You will have forgotten all about me by then."

"Not going to happen. I will always love you, and want you. Trust me." Their eyes locked. He felt that inexplicable connection between them seem to fill the small space inside the car, like the rush of warmth when coming in from the cold on a winter's day.

"Finally the helicopter is landing." She leaned out of the car to get a better look, the wind from the helicopter blades whipping her hair around her head. "Are you ready to get out of this thing?" she asked raising her voice so that he could hear her above the noise.

"Only if you promise to stay with me."

"Sam I told you, I would be by your side when they take you out."

"That's not what I mean. I want you to stay with me, be with me."

That wasn't what he wanted to say at all. His mind fuzzy from the pain or the cold or both, he wasn't sure anymore. Sam only knew that things were coming out wrong. He struggled to get his mouth to cooperate, to say what he really wanted her to hear. To wish her well, to tell her she deserved better. That he hoped she would be happy without him, but even in his pathetic state, his mind dull and his senses hazy, he was selfish. He couldn't let her go.

"Sam," she pushed the hair off her forehead as she looked down, avoiding his eyes, opening and closing her mouth as she searched for the words she wanted to say. "I don't..."

The car pitched backward suddenly as if a brake had released. It rolled a few feet and then came to a stop. Instinctively Sam reached out and grabbed Mercedes' arm, dragging her to his side. Starting to wheeze as he tried to call out to Will, a panic rising in the pit of his stomach.

"What's going on?" Mercedes asked, her eyes wide with alarm.

"We probably just slipped a bit. Nothing to worry about." But Mercedes didn't seem convinced as she grabbed for his hand under the blanket. The car jerked again, rolling back faster this time toward the embankment they had been perched on previously. Only to stop just as suddenly. Sam could see Will running toward them, as he held Mercedes tightly against him.

Breathing hard, his face red with panic, Will reached the side of the car. "We got to get you out of here now, the cable is going to snap."

"What? How could this happen Will?"

"I think the helicopter got too close. Something happened with the cables. It's not going to be able to hold you much longer."

"Well do something else Will," Mercedes demanded. "Sam is stuck, we can't just jump out."

"Yes you can," Sam said turning Mercedes to face him. "You get out of this car right now."

"I'm not leaving you."

"Mercedes you have to. This car might fall. I don't want you in it."

"I'm not leaving you behind Sam. Will will figure something out. Right Will?" she asked turning to face his brother.

"Mercedes the rescue squad still has not arrived and the medivac crew doesn't have anything with them to get Sam out."

"How is that possible? They are here to rescue us. How could they come without any equipment?"

"They only have first aid supplies. We are going to need some heavier machinery to cut this door open."

The car lurched again, knocking Will back to the ground. It slowly rolled to the incline, the front wheels starting to lift from the ground.

"No more talking Mercedes, I want you out of this car now."

"No, I can't leave you."

"Mercedes I swear to God I will rip my leg from this door and push you out if you don't move now."

"Do it!" She yelled. "Then we both can go."

"Mercedes! You know I can't move my leg."

"Sam you have to try."

She lunged over his lap pulling on his leg with a panicked frenzy. Sam yelled out in pain as she pulled on his trapped leg. His chest burning as he struggled to maintain his breathing.

"Mercedes stop! It's no good."

The pain was becoming unbearable as he felt the shards of twisted metal and plastic dig deeper into his leg. Gritting his teeth to withstand the pain he yanked Mercedes off of him, flinging her back into the driver's seat. Shocked, she stared at him wide eyed, still out of breath from her actions.

"What are we going to do?" Her voice was so small, her bottom lip quivering as tears began to fall.

"It will be all right. I just would feel so much better if you stood outside the car while Will and the rescue crew do their thing."

He was so tired. He struggled to keep his eyes open. The adrenaline rush from a few moments before quickly dissipating, leaving him with sapped strength.

"I promised you I would hold your hand the whole time. How can I do that if I'm not with you?"

"How about this?" he offered wiping the tears from her cheeks with the pads of his thumb. "You just step outside the car, and I can hold your hand from there."

Pushing the hair out of her face, letting the strands fall through his fingers as his hand followed its length to her shoulder, he looked at her, memorizing every curve of her face, the color of her eyes, the upturn of her button nose, the shape of her plump lips. Tracing the outline of her purple bra strap that peeked out from under her tank top, his thumb trailing a path along her shoulder, he hesitated, almost entranced by just the feel of her skin. This could be the last time he got to touch her.

She looked at him skeptically, before finally agreeing. "We will do it your way for now, but only because you are getting too upset with me. You can barely breathe right as it is."

"Thank you." Lifting her right hand to his lips, he kissed it softly. "Now go," he urged never letting go of her hand.

Outside the car, her back against the driver side door, she watched him.

"I'm fine. You can relax."

"I'm not going to be able to relax until you're out of here." She laced her fingers through his, squeezing tightly. "Then once you're all healed, I'm going to kick your butt for putting me through this."

"I look forward to it," his eyes closing as he succumbed to fatigue.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 - Nine Months Later**

Quinn smoothed out invisible wrinkles in her baby blue velour sweat suit. She resisted the urge to run back to her room and check the mirror once again. She just knew something was out of place. She felt so naked without makeup. And the rules in the psychiatric care center of Lima University Hospital were very specific, no adornments of any kind, including jewelry and make up. Quinn tried to remember the last time she went without makeup. It had to be back when she was about 12, before she started experimenting with all the ways she could transform her face. Once she hit her teenage years she was fully skilled at applying layers of eyeliner and dark lipstick in the hopes that people would see her darkly outlined eyes and not her. It was easier to hide in plain sight that way. She used to wear her hair long and straight, partially hiding her face, shapeless dark clothes that hid any aspect of her less than perfect figure, and makeup – layers of makeup. All of those details had become a source of comfort for her. She felt free to make her way through life as long as her protective gear was firmly in place.

While her clothes had changed, her hair and even the way she lined her eyes, one thing was still the same, she needed those things to make it through the day. Lucy Caboosey transformed into a beauty queen once she lost the excess weight but underneath she was still the same; she only let people believe she had changed. Quinn returned her attention to her appearance, silently wishing that something other than UGGs were allowable in this place. She knew she should be grateful since strings were pulled to get her in this semi fashionable attire she was wearing now. Other patients in the ward were stuck wearing hospital gowns, pajamas, and generic white sweats. She was lucky that her association with the Evans family got her some level of status in this place. But she still couldn't help but want more.

Santana Lopez strolled into the waiting room her purple Prada tote bag on one arm and her cellphone firmly in the other. Her long houndstooth wool coat flapped against each table as she made her way down the row to where Quinn was sitting. As she reached the table she smiled widely and flung her long black hair over her shoulder, before dropping her bag on the table and plopping into the molded green plastic chair scraping the chair's metal legs loudly against the floor to inch closer to the table. No matter what the place or situation Santana Lopez always made an entrance.

"Hey Quinn! How are you?" asked Santana as she reached across the beige laminate tabletop and squeezed Quinn's hand. Her bright pink nails in sharp contrast to Quinn's pale skin. Stuck inside for weeks Quinn's usually tan skin had dulled considerably.

"Good I guess considering. Look at this place."

Quinn scanned the room sadly, careful not to focus her gaze directly on any of the other patients in the room. Never make eye contact. One of the first rules Quinn learned during her tenure at the Lima University Hospital Psychiatric Ward. Looking at the wrong person could gain you a black eye. Not that Quinn had gotten into any fights while here. She had spent too much time in facilities and group homes growing up not to know she had to keep her head down and her eyes firmly on her own business. It just hurt that at her age she found herself yet again alone and abandoned in a place that no one in the outside world cared about.

"You'd think they'd realize that yellow walls aren't the swiftest way to sanity."

"I just feel so restless and frumpy. I just want to go home. Wherever home happens to be that is."

"Well tomorrow in court the getting out of here part will be taken care of. And as far as the ugly part," she glanced around ensuring no orderlies were lurking about as she slid a small package over to Quinn under the cover of the palm of her hand.

"Lip gloss?"

"Now I know it's not the color you usually wear. But I figure the guards here would notice that. So a nice nude for now."

"Thanks, Santana," she said as she examined the small tube in her hand. "You don't know how naked I've felt in here without my makeup. Stuck in sweats, no heels."

"It's no wonder you are depressed. A girl's gotta have some color."

"So did you come alone? You usually bring – "

"Puck," she said finishing Quinn's sentence. "He had some things to take care of today. But he told me to tell you that he would definitely be in court tomorrow."

"What kind of things? Did something happen? Are you holding out on me Santana?" asked Quinn getting more frantic with each question.

It was so hard being stuck in this place with little contact with the outside world. No newspapers, no computers, she wasn't even allowed to watch television. The doctors probably thought that too much stimulation would just drive her even further into depression. But Quinn knew the longer she stayed in the ward, the less she knew what reality was anymore. It was as if they needed her to be crazy to validate their work, to make all their observations about the reasons she ended up in this place be correct.

"Relax Quinn. Puck just had some work stuff to handle. There have been no new developments. I would tell you if there were," said Santana as she grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly. If anyone was always straight with her it was Santana. Tact and compassion didn't seem to be part of Santana's vocabulary.

Quinn leaned in across the narrow table and lowered her voice. "I just thought there might be something …you know."

"I know."

"I saw Sam last night," Quinn whispered, glancing around to make sure no one was listening.

"You did?" Santana asked slowly.

I definitely think he is coming back. Very soon I think." Santana stared at her from across the table her brown eyes narrowing as she let what Quinn just told her sink in. "Don't look at me like I'm crazy. I really believe he is coming back."

"I don't think you're crazy."

"Why are you still looking at me funny and using that tone. That tone that people use when dealing with crazy people?"

"Sometimes I think I see Brittany. Out of the corner of my eye I will see her sitting on the floor playing with her cat Lord Tubbington. Her beautiful smiling face would just appear and it would give me the strength you know? To make it through another day in this hell hole town."

"But I really saw Sam, I talked to him."

"I know you did, sweetie. And he made you feel better right?"

"I felt like I was going to make it through this."

"See. Sometimes you've got to rely on whatever you can to stay strong. But right now you have to focus on yourself. You have to prove to that judge that you can handle being out in the real world. That you're ready to be a mother.

"Oh my God! Santana, I'm such a horrible person."

"Quinn what are you talking about?"

"They should just lock me up and throw away the key. I've been sitting here with you all this time and I never once brought up Beth, my baby girl."

"Sweetie you've gotta keep it down people are starting to stare," said Santana gesturing toward a couple of aides talking near the doorway. "You've been through a lot don't be so hard on yourself."

"That's no excuse. My only concern should be Beth, and she didn't even cross my mind. Not once. What does that say about me?" Angry tears welled in Quinn's eyes as she realized the startling implication of what she was feeling. Maybe the doctor was right and she really did resent her baby. Maybe she did secretly blame her for wrecking her life. Why else could she go for hours without even thinking of Beth? Caring for Beth should be instinctive, like breathing, but for Quinn she felt like she almost had to remind herself that her daughter even existed.

"I think it proves that more than ever you need to be out of here with your daughter. You two need to be together."

"If only Sam –"

"Quinn you can't rely on Sam right now. You have to do this on your own for Beth. Be strong for her."

"She's absolutely right." Quinn looked up to see a dark haired man with startling blue eyes behind thick rimmed glasses standing before her.

"Well hello there," said Santana extending her hand in greeting to the dark haired stranger.

"Quinn you need to listen to your friend. It's up to you to convince the judge."

"I know," she said looking down into her lap. "It's all up to me," she added softly.

"Right. So who are you?" Santana asked eyeing the man from head to toe and then working slowly back up.

"Sorry, I'm Artie Abrams. I work with Burt Hummel. I will be handling Ms. Fabray's case."

"What happened to Burt?" asked Santana.

"He thought there might be a slight conflict of interest because of his relationship with the Evans family," answered Artie while directing his attention to Quinn. Quinn shifted uneasily under his gaze. It felt like he was looking through her, as if he could see all the secret places she tried to hide. There was something about his eyes.

"Conflict? How can there be a conflict? Quinn's baby is an Evans. Who better to represent her mother than a close family friend? Burt's son Kurt is an Evans on his mother's side." Santana said as she dug through her large leather bag.

"Santana, it's fine," Quinn warned hoping Santana would hear the pleading in her voice and just let it drop. The last thing she needed was Santana making trouble with the Evans'.

"No it's not fine. In fact I can see Dwight's grubby prints all over this. I'm going to call Puck and see what's going on. You just hang in there sweetie." Santana gave Quinn a swift hug before she rushed out of the room with her phone pressed against her ear.

"So is Santana right? Did Dwight want Burt to drop me as a client?" Quinn asked as she watched Santana leave. She was reluctant to look up at Artie directly, still feeling ill at ease in his presence. Now that they were alone those feelings seemed to be heightened.

"I don't know Dwight Evans," stated Artie as he sat in the seat that Santana had vacated. "Never had the pleasure of meeting him. What I do know is that together we are going to get you out of this place and back to your daughter. Are you with me?"

Quinn looked up in surprise. He seemed so sure of himself, as if knew there would be no question that she would get her life back. While Burt had been kind and well intentioned she often felt like he was just going through the motions with her. As if he were just handling her case out of obligation to the family. She never felt like he truly believed in her or that he actually felt she deserved to be back with Beth. The idea that someone could truly be on her side in this gave Quinn renewed hope.

"Yes I am."

"Good so get me up to speed on your situation," he said as he reached into his briefcase and pulled out his Ipad.

"You mean you didn't read about it in the papers? 'Psycho pop princess leaves premature Evans heir in the woods, before diving into the river'. Apparently it was front page news."

Quinn couldn't even walk to the mailbox without her picture being taken. Who knew there were paparazzi in Lima? She was only out on bail for one week before the swift wheels of justice had her thrown into her current padded cell. The only explanation for the speed in which her entire case had been handled was Dwight Evans. He must have used his influence to have her baby taken away from her as fast as possible. Quinn guessed she should feel lucky she only landed in the psych ward. She could have been fitted with cement shoes and thrown in the river. And to think a few months ago all she wanted to do was die.

"Not in Chicago. We don't get much coverage of small towns."

"So why is a big city attorney slumming in Lima? You must have more important cases to handle."

"I went to law school in Chicago." He smiled as he spoke as if he were remembering it fondly. "Did a year working with the public defender's office and now I'm here. Burt hired me to work at his firm."

"So you are a newbie." He didn't seem so young, he actually had a very strong air of maturity about him. He carried himself with confidence.

"You could say that. I'm also the best chance you've got," he said catching her gaze and holding it. "You just have to trust me."

And in that moment Quinn realized she absolutely did.


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for reading and commenting! Disclaimer: (Forgot it before) Glee owns what it owns, I own what I own.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

Mercedes came through the kitchen door holding a baby monitor in one hand and her laptop in the other. Shane was busy at the sink, washing a few dishes from the dinner they had just shared. Not that Mercedes had eaten much; Beth had decided that she wanted to play. She couldn't even put a bite into her mouth without Beth's little hands going to her mouth trying to grab whatever she put inside. Shane had cleared the kitchen table, so Mercedes deposited her computer there before placing the baby monitor on the center island counter. She was now exhausted and still hungry but she let those feelings pass. She had more important things to focus on.

"Okay I finally got her to sleep."

"For such a little baby she does have tons of energy," said Shane as he put the last of the dishes into the drainer before joining Mercedes at the kitchen table. He inched his chair closer to hers so his knee brushed against hers every time she moved.

"She's like the energizer bunny of babies. I can't wait until she's crawling and playing more." Mercedes opened up her black laptop and watched the screen light up.

"Do you really think you'll still have her then? Quinn has to be released soon. Her hearing with the review board is tomorrow."

"I guess you're right. But Quinn left her outside in the cold. I'm not sure child protective services will just hand Beth back over to her even if she's out of the psych ward. There would be a criminal trial I would think."

"I suppose, but she was suffering from postpartum depression. Those are extenuating circumstances. I just worry you may be getting too attached."

"She's my stepdaughter. Of course I'm attached."

"She's the daughter of the man you were divorcing before –"

"Look we'll deal with all that when Sam comes back."

"But Mercedes it has been almost 9 months. Don't you think that if he were –"

"Shane just stop it," she said cutting him off. "We've been over this before. I know that you think that Sam is –" She hesitated, her throat feeling as if it were closing as she struggled to form the words. "That he's not coming back. But I don't. I really don't. I think maybe he just needs more time. He's just –" She swiped at the tears that escaped her eyes.

"Okay Mercedes," Shane said softly as he stood up pulling Mercedes out of her chair and into his large arms rubbing her back to calm her. "I just don't want to see you get hurt. Spending all that time with Beth and then when the time comes to give her back… Will you be able to do it?" Shane bent slightly at the knees, putting himself closer to her eye level.

"Of course. I'm just watching out for her now. For Sam, and for Quinn."

"I think you're incredible, what you're doing is incredible, but you deserve a break." He tried to wrap his arms around her again but Mercedes pulled away, moving back toward her computer on the kitchen table.

"I wish. No time for such luxuries as breaks," she said jokingly trying to lighten the mood. "In fact, right now I should be studying for my TBI exam, so time for you to scoot Dr. Tinsley."

"Not before you agree to go away with me this weekend."

"Away? As in out of Lima?" she asked slowly. Stunned didn't even begin to capture what she was feeling. Panic began to rise up in the back of her throat. Or was it bile?

"That is exactly what I mean. I have a second round of interviews with Duke University Hospital and I want you to come with me."

Mercedes's stomach lurched with every word that fell from his lips. Where was this coming from? She and Shane weren't even dating. They were just friends, really good friends that spend a lot of time together. It suddenly hit her that Shane may have gotten the wrong idea.

"To North Carolina?"

"It is a nice city, lots of great southern food. And Duke is an amazing hospital." He smiled as he spoke, smoothing out his thin black mustache with a thick finger. "I thought you might like to check out their nursing program, see what they have to offer."

"Shane are you asking me to move to North Carolina with you?"

"Hold on. Let's not jump ahead too far. I haven't even officially been offered the fellowship yet."

"You'll get the fellowship. I guarantee it."

"I'm not so sure. But in the off chance you're right, how would you feel about relocating? With me?"

"Where is this coming from? We are not even – I'm not even divorced." She got up from her chair looking around the room, searching for an escape. There was nowhere to go unless she risked climbing the stairs and waking Beth.

With her arms outstretched to keep Shane at bay, she eased away from him until her back hit the hard surface of the center island. Why did so many confrontations have to take place in this kitchen? And she mentally scolded herself for still not being equipped to handle any of them. Why was she surprised that Shane wanted her to be with him? She had known since before her wedding that he cared. But Mercedes had hoped the very platonic turn things had taken since the accident would have extinguished any passion he may have felt. Clearly it was all wishful thinking on her part.

"Why are you acting so surprised? This is the next logical step. I know things have sort of been shifted and put on hold because of that whole voicemail thing, the accident, and Beth, but before all that we had plans Mercedes. "

"That was a long time ago. Feels like another lifetime."

"It doesn't have to be. You said the one thing you learned through this whole experience is that life is short and very precious, right?"

"That is true. I do feel we have to live life to the fullest while we can."

"So this is our chance Mercedes. Me and you. Finally we can be together. Just say you'll come with me."

"I can't just drop everything and leave. What about Beth? I'm responsible for her."

"Quinn will be out of the hospital soon. And if she's not, Coach Beiste can help out, or Quinn's parents."

"Dwight and Sue would never allow Quinn's parents to take Beth."

"I'm sure Beth's family will work out what is best for her. You won't have to worry."

"I am Beth's family."

"I know you feel some sense of obligation to the girl, especially with how things went down, but you are not even related to her. She is nothing to you."

"I love her. I helped bring her into this world and I have been taking care of her since she was 2 months old."

"Cede you are misunderstanding me. I'm not saying you don't care."

"No you're just saying I shouldn't care. You want me to just walk away."

"Maybe that is what I'm saying. Why can't you walk away? None of this has to be your concern anymore. Sam cheated on you and made this mess of your life and here you are months later still stuck in the mess he created. How many ways are you going to let this guy bring you down? He's not even here and you're still stuck. If only I had gotten that call on your wedding day and saved you from all this."

"I think you need to go."

"We're in the middle of a discussion; I'm not just going to drop it."

"Shane. I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm done letting you push me aside. I've been more than patient, being your friend, not dealing with the feelings we have for each other. That's over. It's time for me and you Mercedes. I'm not going to let Sam Evans get in the way of us again."

"There's no us. There will never be an us."

"What are you saying?"

"I thought maybe there could've been, before the accident. But even then, I don't know. I just know that right now, I know with certainty that we have no future."

"Clearly you're upset and not thinking straight."

"Go to North Carolina, become a brilliant doctor, and forget all about me."

"How can I forget you? I love you."

"I'm sorry Shane, but I need you to move on." Mercedes opened the door and held it open, hoping that Shane would take the hint and exit.

"You're lying," he said as he picked up his jacket before facing her in the doorway, his large body filling the entire frame. "This can't be what you want."

"It is."

"This isn't over Mercedes."

Goodbye Shane, she said to herself as she closed the door behind him.

Mercedes sat back down at the table in front of her computer, desperate to regain her focus on her studies at hand. The bizarre scene that just played out between her and Shane had definitely taken her by surprise, but at least now things were clearly defined between them. She had put it off too long. She should have let Shane go months ago. She was selfishly holding on to him because she needed support. A part of her longed to be able to just run off to North Carolina with him, become a doctor's wife, live a simple white picket fence life. Simple was definitely something that Shane could deliver. He would never hurt her, he would remember every birthday, he would say all the right things. It would be a life that most people would envy. Sadly, Mercedes realized it would never be the life for her. She guessed spending her formative years with a hustler for a mom had diminished any of her chances at having a picket fence existence. No matter how long she tried to pretend that she could make herself over into a new version of herself, a more wholesome Mercedes that valued home and family and hard work. It would never really be her; it would always be just a costume she was donning, a role she was playing.

Mercedes's true nature was far darker. Barbed wire or wrought iron gates seemed more likely to be the boundary of her future. Perhaps that was what attracted her to Sam, she saw his darkness simmering just beneath the surface and she liked it. And there it was, she liked the dark, and that was why she never could be truly happy in a life filled with light. She buried her face in her arms momentarily feeling sorry for herself and the persistent complexities that always filled her life. A light tap at the door jarred her from her thoughts. With one last sigh, she let any dreams of Shane Tinsley go and she stirred herself back to the here and now. Her reality – taking care of Beth.

She opened the door surprised to see the curly haired man smiling back at her. "Will what are you doing here?"

"I came to visit my favorite sister in law. May I come in?" he asked with a smile.

"Of course," Mercedes said stepping aside to let the man into the kitchen. "But as I recall I am your only sister in law."

"You got me. You are still my one and only sister in law. I just wanted to check on how you're doing."

"Tired but good. Beth actually took pity on me tonight and went to sleep. Now maybe I can get some cramming in for this exam I have tomorrow."

"I won't keep you long. I actually am working tonight. Stake out downtown. that drug ring."

"I thought you caught those guys Will?"

"There appears to be resurgence."

"I can't believe a little town like Lima could be attractive to so many criminals."

"I think the fact that we are off the radar is what attracts them. They think they can operate here and no one will notice. So I have a favor to ask of you."

"What kind of favor?"

"Well tomorrow is Quinn's court date and I wanted to stop by and see her tonight. You know, lend her my moral support, but I have to work."

"I don't like where this is heading. I'm not doing any favors for Quinn."

"I just wanted you to take her this picture of Beth. I figured since you went to visit her before you would be willing."

"I went to see her on Christmas."

"And you brought Beth."

"I was touched by the holiday spirit. It was a very fleeting sentiment."

"I know you have issues with Quinn, but I am sure you can understand –"

"Stop right there Will. I don't understand anything that Quinn has done. She wrecked Puck's life, my life, and now she is working on Beth's life."

"I think we both know that is just anger talking. Sam always told me you had this big heart, so I know somewhere deep down you can see what Quinn is going through."

"It all comes back to Sam doesn't it? And that promise you made him. I bet you wouldn't even be thinking twice about Quinn now if it weren't for him."

"It is true that I am trying to keep my word that I would look out for her. And of course for you too."

Mercedes's mind drifted off remembering that rainy night last year.

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><p><em>One foot on the wet ground, her knee pressed into the driver side seat, Mercedes gripped Sam's hand, leaving marks on his skin. Every time she heard him take a breath, she squeezed a little harder, hoping that this time he would wake up.<em>

_"Cede"_

_"Hey you're awake."_

_"What are you doing here?"_

_"You don't remember what happened?"_

_"Of course I remember. I meant what are you doing in the car? I thought we agreed you would be standing outside."_

_"Oh well, good news. Will and the medi vac guys got us back up on solid ground. They are building a trench or something behind us to prevent the car from rolling back. Then they're going to get you out of here."_

_"Good to hear. I still want you out of the car though. You never know what could happen."_

_"Nothing is going to happen. We're rescued. It is just a matter of time now and this horrible night will be behind us."_

_"I wouldn't call it horrible exactly."_

_"Car wrecks are not exactly fun times. Didn't know you got off on crashing into mountains."_

_"Not that part of the evening. I mean the part where I was alone with you."_

_"Sam do you ever give it a rest? You can barely breathe, yet you're still trying to charm my pants off."_

_"The day I stop trying to get into your pants, is the day I'm dead," he said flashing a lopsided grin._

_"Don't say things like that."_

_"Fine. The minute I stop being charming is the day –"_

_"Don't talk about dying. Not even jokingly."_

_"You said it yourself Cede. We're rescued. I think it is high time we lighten the mood."_

_"I didn't know if you were going to wake up. You've been out cold for over thirty minutes."_

_"I was just napping. You know I sleep like the dead."_

_"Stop messing around. You really scared me."_

_"I'm sorry sweetheart. I was just sleeping. I promise. It's nice to know you still care about me."_

_"Don't read too much into this Sam. Nothing has changed between us."_

_"Maybe not. But for right now we are in a good place. A truce if you will. And I am not about to waste it. As much as I find bitchy Cede hot, it is really nice to spend time with your softer side."_

_"So do you want to call Quinn and let her know you're okay?"_

_"Huh? Where did that come from?"_

_"I know you're thinking about her."_

_"I'm lost here. I was just flirting with you. How does that translate into me thinking about Quinn?"_

_"Will told me."_

_"Will told you what?"_

_"Will told me you asked him to look out for Quinn."_

_"Why would he tell you that?"_

_"I don't think he was betraying your trust or anything. He was worried about you, and rambling. "_

_"I told him that stuff before we were rescued. I wasn't sure what was going to happen with me and I needed to handle some things."_

_"I get that. Just hurts to hear that when faced with death you are worried if your mistress will be taken care of after you're gone."_

_"It wasn't like that. And she's not my mistress."_

_"Sorry. Is bed buddy the term you prefer?"_

_"Mercedes where is this coming from? You know that I'm not involved with Quinn. It was just one time."_

_"So you say."_

_"You know it was just one time. You are deliberately instigating this."_

_"How do you think it made me feel to learn that in a time of extreme crisis, you're not thinking about your family or your wife, but you are thinking about the woman that destroyed your marriage?"_

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><p>"If it is too much for you, I will try to squeeze in some time to see her. Maybe I can just leave the picture with the nurse."<p>

Mercedes shook herself back to the present and tried to focus on Will's words.

"That won't be necessary. I'll go." She took the picture from Will and placed it next to her computer. It was a recent picture of Beth, but one she had never seen. Will must have taken it on one of the times he watched the baby while Mercedes had to work.

"Are you sure?" Will seemed dubious about Mercedes's abrupt change of attitude.

"It's like you said, Sam wanted her to be looked out for, and who am I not to honor his wishes? Besides I would like to give Quinn a few words of support as well."


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for reading, favoriting and commenting! Disclaimer: Glee owns what it owns, I own what I own.

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><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

Quinn stared out of the large window of her tiny room in the hospital. The room was about the size of her closet in the apartment she used to share with Puck. It had a bedside table with a lamp, a narrow twin sized bed, and a dresser with three drawers and a mirror mounted on the wall above it. Of course the requisite yellow painted brick walls and a small area rug in front of her bed to cover the bare cold blue speckled cement floor. This was a deluxe room. The Evans' spared no expense in making sure she had the best padded cell money could buy.

Quinn tucked her feet under the hem of her long grey flannel nightgown as she leaned on the headboard of the bed and continued to stare out into the darkness. In the distance she could see the lights from downtown sparkling like stars in the night sky. Quinn tried not to imagine what all the good people of Lima were doing on this January night. She bet they were all someplace warm, spending time with the people they loved. Dwelling on things that could never be was not an activity that Quinn allowed herself to engage in too often. Spending so much of her childhood in and out group homes forced her to live in the here and now. Dreams were only for those that were free to pursue them. Caged birds knew better than to wish for life beyond their barred existence. Quinn had always felt a little like a caged bird. She had her songs, but she never truly felt she would be free to sing them. Not even when she was touring the country and Europe promoting her first album, her only album, did she truly feel like her dreams were finally real. She was always looking over her shoulder, worried someone would catch her out in the world and drag her back to her cage. Of course those were just silly delusions, no one had ever come and destroyed her life, well no one but herself .

A tap at the door roused Quinn from her thoughts. She glanced at the clock on the dresser and saw that it was late. Lights out was announced hours ago. She opened the door partially to reveal Mercedes standing there in white wool coat, her hair in a sloppy side ponytail.

"It's late Mercedes, visiting hours are over. What are you doing here?"

"Just a little perk of being a nurse on staff and of course being married to an Evans. D&E Industries paid for this wing back in 96 I believe," said Mercedes as she pushed past Quinn and entered the room.

"Still using Sam's name. Last I heard you were eager to get rid of it. I guess the idea of giving up all that money and status is making you drag your feet." Quinn watched Mercedes examine the items on her dresser, lightly touching every piece as if marking her territory.

"Nice room you have here Quinn. Silk sheets, family photos, mp3 player, seems like you are benefiting from that Evans name as well."

Quinn stood in the middle of the room, her arms crossed watching her. She held her breath as Mercedes came to the gold framed photo of her and Puck. It was one of the set they had taken at the lake. They had planned to use them as their engagement photos, but that never quite happened. Puck found out about her and Sam and all their plans went up in flames.

Even after they tried to stay together, when Quinn found out she was pregnant, things were never the same. It is an awful thing to feel like someone's obligation. Puck didn't want her, she was tainted, no longer a woman worthy of Noah "Puck" Puckerman's love. He was only interested in the baby. Even before Beth was born Puck seemed to know that Beth would need to be saved from her.

"A cell is still a cell. Being the slut Sam knocked up is far different than being his wife. Right Cede?"

"Your words, not mine."

"I have an early day tomorrow. If you would please leave my room, I need to get some sleep."

"Not so fast. We have a few things to discuss first," said Mercedes making herself comfortable on the bed, running her hands over the smooth silk sheets.

"Discuss about what? Is something wrong with Beth?"

"About time you remembered your daughter. You need to practice that concerned mother act a little more if you want to convince a judge you actually care."

"I do care. Tell me what is wrong with Beth."

"Beth is fine, and she'll stay that way as long as you are kept far away from her."

"You do know I'll be getting released tomorrow?"

"I wouldn't pack my bags just yet. I can't imagine any judge would find you competent to take care of a guppy let alone a child." Mercedes got up from the bed and stood in front of Quinn almost confrontational.

"I know you hate me. And I don't blame you Mercedes," said Quinn tearing up but willing the tears not to fall. "I hate myself most days for what I did to you, and Puck. But you have to think about Beth."

"I am thinking about Beth."

"She needs her mother."

"I'm not here to argue with you," said Mercedes dismissively turning away from Quinn to stare out into the darkness through her large window.

"Then why are you here?" Quinn was trying not to get agitated, but she couldn't shake the feeling that Mercedes was deliberately trying to bait her. She didn't know if Mercedes was itching for a fight or just looking for someone to blame. All Quinn was sure of was that she had to be on her guard around Mercedes. Somehow this little visit was starting to feel more important than it seemed.

"I just," Mercedes hesitated a moment and Quinn wondered if she were going to finish her thought. "I brought you a little something from Will." She took a photo out of her pocket, staring at it momentarily before handing it to Quinn. "He thought maybe it will bring you luck tomorrow."

"She's getting big. Her hair is so blond." Quinn ran her fingers over Beth's smiling face in the picture. Her bright green eyes were shining and the dimple in her left cheek was prominently displayed as she posed with a small stuffed bear. She looked like Sam.

"She can sort of sit up on her own now. I prop her up on the couch. She tries to reach for her feet and makes this scrunched up face, with those cheeks and that double chin, reminds me of Jabba the Hut from the Star Wars movies," Mercedes smiled widely as she talked about Beth. Her body movements animated as she illustrated Beth's chubby cheeks with her hands. "Sue says she looks just like Sam at that age. I can't imagine Sam this chubby. Can you?"

Quinn felt a tightness in her chest as she realized that Mercedes was getting to experience all the little moments that she should be having with her daughter.

"You let Sue see her?"

"She's her grandmother."

Mercedes was not this stupid. Sam had to have told her how his mother plotted to destroy Quinn's music career. So there was no way that Mercedes didn't know what Sue was capable of. Quinn's mind raced as she thought of all the ways that Sue could now hurt Beth.

"She's a psycopath! How can you trust her around my baby?"

"She loves Beth. Besides Sam would have wanted his mom to know his child."

Sue must have gotten to Mercedes somehow. Maybe they even made a pact to take Quinn down, to make sure she never saw Beth again.

"Sam knows that Sue hates me. He wouldn't let his mother near any child of mine."

"I disagree. And Sam is not with us now, so I am making all the decisions."

"Oh my God, I need to get out of here," Quinn said almost to herself as she paced around the room in a circle.

Her world was spiraling out of control and she was powerless to stop it. Her baby was being raised by a woman that hated her. By the time she got Beth back she would be so brainwashed that she wouldn't even know Quinn was her mother. Quinn felt like she was being erased inch by inch, losing pieces of herself into a dark abyss. She was screaming for help but no one could hear her. No one would grab her hand. In the past, Sam would have been there. He would have heard her cries and he would have pulled her through. But where was Sam now when she needed him more than she ever had?

"Yeah so, just in case tomorrow doesn't go as smoothly as you'd planned, I wanted you to know that Beth is safe. With me. I'll be here as long as she needs me."

"Thank you Mercedes."

"Don't thank me. I'll do anything to give her a happy life. I'll protect her from anyone that could do her harm. Even you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Get some sleep Quinn. Tomorrow is the big day." Mercedes tossed Quinn a parting smile as she left through the door.

Alone, Quinn's mind raced struggling to figure out exactly what just happened between her and Mercedes. It was something big, she could feel it, but she wasn't sure what it all meant. All this time, Quinn had felt that Mercedes looking after Beth was just a kind gesture. It was a generous favor that Mercedes was doing for her and for Beth. Now lately it seemed like Mercedes wasn't so kind after all.

She realized that Mercedes resented her. That was obvious, how could she not? She slept with her husband. But Mercedes had always been helpful toward her during her pregnancy. She even helped deliver Beth when they were stuck on the side of the road. Quinn had thought that maybe they had found some common ground. And when Mercedes was awarded custody of Beth, Quinn had been relieved. She was glad to know that someone that loved Beth was looking out for her. Something seemed to have changed. Quinn couldn't put her finger on what that difference was but one thing was clear, she had to get out of this place. She had to get Beth back and away from Mercedes.


	8. Chapter 8

_Slightly shorter chapter...but we get to meet Mercedes' dad...think Idris Elba here. Thanks for reading!_

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><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

Mercedes stepped off the elevator to find Julian at the third floor nurses' station looking over a stack of files. Mercedes noticed how red his brown eyes were as he yawned repeatedly. He must have just gotten out of surgery, after what she could only imagine was a stressful and exhausting procedure. Dr. Julian Jones still managed to look pulled together and rumple free with his smooth dark brown skin and his always perfect jet black mustache and goatee. There was a reason he was the most sought after doctor on staff, adored by every female and gay man in the place, and it wasn't his talent as a surgeon.

Julian looked up in surprise when he noticed Mercedes approaching, a wide smile spread across his face as he came around the desk and enveloped her in a firm hug.

"Hey Dad," said Mercedes as she returned his embrace.

"Don't tell me you're back working another shift?" he asked looking down at her once he let go. "I thought we had you set up for no nights for the time being."

"I'm not working." Mercedes shook her head and leaned against the desk. "I just needed to stop in and take care of something."

"At this hour? Where's Beth?"

"She's with Beiste. I'm headed back home right now. I need to cram for my exam tomorrow."

He ran his hand over his face with a weary sigh. "Ok here's the thing. You know I am so very proud of you right?"

"Yes."

"And you know that it just amazes me to see you juggle so many things at once? You graduated early from nursing school and now you are taking postgraduate classes right away, while taking care of an infant and working full time. But I am a bit concerned."

"Don't be. I'm fine. Tons of women do all this and more every day. It's nothing special."

"After the year you've had, I can't see how that can possibly be true."

"You had just as bad a year as I did, and look at you. You've been a rock to Puck and you helped him through probably the worst time of his life, and you're still standing."

"Puck is like a son to me, you know that. Helping him out wasn't ever a question, but you're deflecting." He shifted his attention back to his stack of papers attempting to downplay the current topic of conversation. "Don't change the subject. We were talking about you."

"And usually I would love nothing more than to talk about myself, but I have to get home. I need to get a few hours in with the books before Beth decides that sleeping is overrated and she would much rather watch late night infomercials. Ever see that one where the guy talks real fast and keeps slapping the big red button to chop the onion?"

"Can't say I have."

"The Slice-o-matic. Beth loves that one. Her face just lights up every time that guy goes BOOM and hits the button. She has her bottle, watches that and is out like a light. I need to record it next time it comes on, because it only seems to air at 2:30 in the morning and I really need the little diva to start sleeping through the night."

"We could get you some help with her. Dwight would gladly pay for someone to come in and assist – "

"Beth doesn't have her father or her mother. The last thing Beth needs is for a nanny to take care of her. She needs someone that knows her and her family, that has a connection to her. Babies need to feel loved, you know? "

Julian exhaled sharply as he looked down at his feet. "I'm so sorry I wasn't around to give you that when you were a child. You'll never understand how sorry."

"I know you are. That's why we can't let the same thing happen to Beth."

"I wish I was able to do more for you," he said finally meeting her eyes.

"Hey, I get it. It's hard. Puck thought she was his daughter and you came to think of her as your grandchild even before she was born. It's hard for you to be around her. Your first loyalty is to Puck in this situation."

"He's just so messed up right now. He pretends like he's dealing fine, even trying to be there for Quinn after everything she's done."

"I'll never get that. Why he hasn't kicked her ass to the curb, I'll never know."

"Quinn and Puck have a lot of history sweetheart. It can be hard to just sever ties with someone that has been a part of your life for so long. And you're one to talk. It amazes me that you can just take care of Beth like this. Even after knowing how she was conceived. I would think that seeing her would just remind you of so many bad memories."

"It's not her fault. She doesn't know anything about all that drama. She's here now and she needs me," she replied. "Besides I know that if the roles were reversed, Sam would have done the same thing for me."

"That cheating jackass doesn't know how lucky he is. He doesn't deserve one ounce of what you're doing for him."

"Just look at that face. How could anyone not want to spend as much time as possible with her?" she asked as she held up a picture of Beth on her phone for Julian to see.

"She's getting big. I'm glad to see that being two months premature didn't impair her development. She seems right on schedule. Makes you wonder if she were really premature at all."

"What are you saying? Of course she was premature, we delivered her remember?"

"How do we know that Quinn didn't lie about the conception dates? She and Sam could have been creeping around long before the time they told us about."

"Sam only slept with Quinn because he saw me with Shane."

"So he claims. He loved Quinn a long time. Don't you think it's possible he still was in love with her? They were first loves after all, feelings like that don't always go away."

"I can't believe that. I know Sam. I know he loved me and only me."

"I've gotta say after going through all this with Puck and Quinn. I've definitely learned one big lesson. You never know anyone as well as you think."

"I'm going to say something, and I hope you won't get mad at me for saying it." She ran her hand through her ponytail nervously, mentally preparing herself for any possible turmoil caused by her choice of words.

"You can tell me anything."

"Sam and I are very different than Puck and Quinn. I mean our relationships are very different. Not to diminish the feelings Puck has for Quinn, but from almost the first moment we met, Sam and I had this connection. It was almost like he knew me and I knew him, in another life or something. We just got each other."

"Okay. But -"

"So when I say he would do the same for me, I know it in my soul. We have a connection that can never be broken, no matter what we may go through. Sam put his life on the line for me in that car. I was so nasty to him that whole night, but when it came down to it, he put his body in front of mine and tried to shield me from impact. He gave up everything to protect me."

"That's the least he could do after breaking your heart. If you want me to feel sympathy for the guy, it's not happening. He has wrecked too many lives," said Julian coldly, his body stiff with tension.

"But he saved mine," said Mercedes softly touching Julian's arm hoping he would relax. "So how could I not take care of his baby?" She wrapped her arms around Julian's neck holding him tightly.

"I'll see you tomorrow in court," he said as he squeezed her closer. Mercedes shut her eyes to savor the hug.

She had only known Julian as her father for a few years, but he already made her feel safe and protected as if he had raised her since birth. That was all Mercedes wanted to give to Beth. She may have been given a raw deal in her short little life, but Mercedes was determined that from this point forward she would never feel abandoned or alone again.


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks for reviewing/favoriting/alerting/messaging/reading...just a whole lot of thanks. LOL

Quartie anyone?

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><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

Quinn leaned her head out of the open car door to let the brisk Midwestern wind cool her face. It had been so long since she had been outside that she wanted to savor every moment. She swung her legs out of the car and onto the ground, tapping the heels of her shoes on the dark pavement relishing the sound. They were sensible shoes. Black patent leather square toe pumps with two-inch heels purchased specifically for this day. Santana had taken it upon herself to plan every detail of Quinn's outfit for court. A gray tweed dress with a high scoop neck, because cleavage had no place in a case about a baby, and a basic pink cardigan. Quinn wore no jewelry but her simple small diamond studs. She didn't want to look like a self-entitled diva Santana had said.

Image was everything now that the case was national news. It is amazing how the whole world cares when a baby with money is hurt. Quinn bet if Beth's father had been a backup dancer or a bartender her problems would have received far less scrutiny. As it was now Quinn's face was plastered all over newspapers and television programs across the country. Nancy Grace had even done a piece on her. If the media had the power to decide her fate, Quinn would be buried under the jail.

"We better get inside before they catch on we're back here," said Artie as he appeared in front of the passenger side door. Quinn stood up and moved out of his way so that he could close the door to his navy blue Camry behind her.

It had been a strange ride from the hospital to the courthouse. Alone in a car with a man she barely knew made Quinn a little nervous. He must have felt awkward as well, since he didn't say much to her, just turned on the radio and let it play. Talk radio was the white noise of their trip. She tried to focus on the scenery as they drove to the center of town. The frost covered lawns, the groups of children waiting for the school bus, street after street of pastel colored houses. Quinn smiled to herself as they passed a house with Christmas lights still up and a wreath on the door, a subtle reminder that the holiday season had just ended and not everyone was ready to let go of that spirit. She was glad they chose to linger, she had missed the holidays this year, stuck inside the hospital, and she felt like this one little house saved a bit of Christmas for her to see.

Artie fumbled in his pocket searching for the keys to the backdoor of the courthouse. Quinn enjoyed the warm sun on her face as she waited, tilting her head slightly toward the sky, reaching for more of those golden rays. It was a typical late January day in Lima. Cold, windy, but the skies were perfectly clear and the sun was bright. Only good things could happen on a day so beautiful. Quinn tried to hang onto that feeling as Artie held the door open for her and they finally stepped inside.

"So court starts at 10am why we are here almost two hours early?"

"I thought you might like some time outside of the hospital. It has been awhile since you were out right?" They walked up a long flight of stairs as they chatted. It wasn't well lit and it seemed isolated.

"Almost a month." It was exactly twenty-eight days since she had been placed in the Lima University hospital. She kept a small piece of paper taped to the side of her bed, a short line in blue ink for every day that passed. Quinn prayed she wouldn't get to thirty.

"I wanted to take you out for a nice breakfast."

They emerged from the stairwell into a brightly lit corridor lined with doors. Burgundy and green carpet covered the floors. It was colorful probably to hide any spills or stains, but plush, her shoes were sadly silent on the floor as she walked.

"At this point an Egg McMuffin would be gourmet fare. I never knew gruel was actually a real dish until the psych ward," said Quinn. Artie looked down over at her and laughed.

It felt like it was the first time he actually looked at her all morning, or maybe it was just the first time she had really looked at him. His eyes were an intense blue, large and bright, the focal point of his entire face and they crinkled around the edges as he laughed. His dark brown hair was swept back off his face, neat and trim, with only a hint of a curl fighting to break free.

"We could have hit the drive thru but I was thinking you might enjoy something a bit more relaxing." It startled her as he grabbed her elbow, she must have jumped because he hesitated briefly turning to look down at her. She smiled at him weakly which seemed to put him at ease, as he again guided her through a door by her arm.

"So you bring me to the courthouse?" This time Quinn laughed, not one she felt deep to her core, but definitely a chuckle. It felt good, her smile widening as she realized she was feeling relaxed.

"I wanted to take you to the dining room at the Beacon Hotel, but we were being followed. Who knew there were paparazzi in Lima?"

"I keep wondering where all these people are coming from." Quinn remembered a time when all she wanted was to be followed and adored, photographed and famous. Now she seemed to have gotten her wish, but for all the wrong reasons.

"So being the quick thinker that I am. Plan B."

He opened another set of doors to a small conference room. The large wooden table was covered by a white tablecloth with a lavish display of food set up. There were trays of fruits and cheeses, croissants, bagels, and brioche. A silver teapot served as the centerpiece of the display, the steam rising from its top proving it was more than purely decorative.

"Wow. This looks amazing. Are you sure it is ok for us to be in here?"

"This is the room for counsel to consult with their clients during a trial. Me counsel. You client. Now let's eat."

"Mmm strawberries. My favorite," smiled Quinn, plucking a strawberry from the tray as she slid into an open chair. "I can't believe you planned all this for me."

"I hope you don't mind a European style breakfast. I just have never really been a fan of eggs and bacon in the morning."

"I love this. I have always thought traditional foods were just too heavy for early in the day. I like to eat breakfast food –"

"At night," he said finishing her sentence.

"Exactly." Their eyes locked briefly, as they smiled shyly at each other.

Artie looked away first, clearing his throat before he spoke. "Now if you will pass me one of those croissants we can get started. I want to explain to you a bit about what is going to happen in there today."

"I thought the judge was going to decide if I get to go home," said Quinn as she handed him a large croissant.

"In the simplest terms, yes that is true. But this hearing is also for the judge to determine if you are mentally competent to face criminal charges."

"You mean go to jail instead of the hospital?" A knot formed in the pit of her stomach as she considered the idea of going to prison.

"Child endangerment is a serious offense and Judge Leary has a reputation for being a stickler for the law."

"But I wasn't thinking clearly. I was suffering from depression."

"I know." He patted the back of her hand quickly before returning to his food. "He suspended your sentencing because of that. He's going to want to hear from your doctors about your treatment and your prognosis. He will also want to talk to your friends and family associated with this situation."

"Like Mercedes."

"Yes Mercedes Evans will be asked to speak before the judge. She's Beth's temporary guardian and she was close to you around the time of the incident."

"Great. That's one strike against me. Who else will they call?"

Artie reached down into his briefcase that was on the floor by his feet pulling out a piece of paper. "Noah Puckerman, Dr. Hill, Sue Evans Sylvester, and Julian Jones," he read off the sheet.

"This is a nightmare. I'm never getting out of the hospital. My ex-fiance, the wicked witch of the Midwest - all of those people will sink me."

"We have some time before the hearing begins. Is there anyone else we can add to this who can speak positively on your behalf? How about your parents?'

"My parents live in Chicago and I don't want them involved. At all."

Quinn hadn't spoken to her parents in months. She prayed that they somehow managed not to hear anything about this case on the news. They hadn't been to visit her, so she hoped they were in the dark, or worse, just severely disappointed. The last thing she wanted to face was the fact that she once again made a mess of her life. She couldn't bear the look of disapproval in their eyes. This time Quinn was determined to stand on her own. She created this mess and she was going to get herself out of it.

"Okay. Any other relatives or friends?"

"My best friend was Beth's father. He was always there for me whenever I needed a shoulder to lean on. Maybe he could –"

"And since he's not an option, anyone else?" asked Artie interrupting Quinn mid sentence.

"There is Santana."

"Santana Lopez? With her bad reputation? I think the less you are associated with her the better. In fact, I already had my secretary call and tell her not to show up in court today."

"There goes my cheering section." Quinn wondered if the skies had suddenly turned gray. All those thoughts about the positive effects of sunshine were swiftly fleeting. In their place, was a feeling of dread.

"There has to be someone else." Artie stroked his chin with his hand, as if he were racking his brain for a solution.

"Coach Beiste did let me and Beth stay with her after Puck and I split," offered Quinn.

"Shannon Beiste is a pillar of the community and a business owner. Perfect," he said breaking into a large grin. "I am going to call her up and have her come down here. Don't look so worried Quinn. I am betting that the judge will see the wonderful progress you've made and he will give you probation."

"So no jail and no hospital?"

"That is how it usually goes with cases like this. You went through a terrible ordeal but you accepted responsibility and you are getting treatment. I'm sure the judge will see that you deserve a second chance. Besides did you see the sky out there this morning? What could go wrong on a day as beautiful as this?"

Maybe clouds hadn't covered the skies after all.


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks for reading...Puckcedes time!

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><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

Adjusting the neckline of her dress, Mercedes walked down the stairs. Puck was sitting in the living room flipping through a book when she appeared.

"Aqua. Stunning. I like it," he gave her a thumb up as he put down the book and reached for his coat.

Mercedes stalled in the middle of the room, wishing there was a full length mirror somewhere on the first floor. Something felt off. "Do you think it's too much? I can go upstairs and put the black back on."

"I think you look great."

"Sam always liked me in gold. He said it brought out my eyes."

"He was right. Gold is definitely your color."

Mercedes looked down at her dress again, and then back up at the stairs, battling with herself about whether to run back up them and change.

"But he did say I looked really good in purple. And I usually hate myself in purple, makes me look like Barney the dinosaur. But Sam used to say it made me look sweet enough to eat."

He kissed her in the middle of the hospital the day he said that. He had just reached out and dipped her low, his lips firmly caressing hers. She had been in a daze when he pulled away, her eyes closed, still reeling from the kiss. When she opened her eyes she remembered being surprised at the expression on his face. If Mercedes hadn't known better it looked like he was reeling too. She had been so surprised that he would do something so public, still in awe that someone like him had chosen to be with someone like her.

"I've got to hand it to Sam. He sure had some lines," Puck said with a small smile.

"I used to think he was such a player and that he had all these cheesy lines stored somewhere so he could refer to them as needed."

"I doubt he had a file of pick up lines. He liked to consider himself naturally charming."

"He definitely was that," she said smiling widely, remembering. "Oh my gosh Puck, what am I doing? I should be thinking about Beth not her father. What if Quinn gets out of the hospital today?"

"Well that would be a good thing right? Beth would have her mom back." Puck looked confused as he struggled to understand where the conversation was headed.

"Of course, of course. It would be really good," Mercedes said quickly as she busied herself straightening the throw pillows on the loveseat next to the stairs. "I just wonder how she will adjust? Beth hasn't been around her in so long."

"Babies are resilient she'll be calling her 'mama' in no time." Mercedes tried to stifle the pain that hit her chest at the thought of Beth calling Quinn "mama".

"Great," she said dully. Mercedes wondered if Beth ever would have a special name to call her. Or would she just end up being a ghost from her childhood that she would inevitably end up forgetting?

"Mercedes, be straight with me. What's really going on here? I get the feeling like you don't want Quinn to be free."

"I'm scared. I know, I know I'm a horrible person," she added quickly when she turned to find Puck staring at her in shock and perhaps mild horror. "But I am scared that Quinn is going to hurt her."

"She has been in treatment. I'm sure the hospital won't let her be around Beth unless she's ready for it. And I know Quinn, she's just going through some rough times now, but she loves that baby," said Puck in a reassuring tone.

"That is what I keep hoping, because I'll die before I let anything happen to that little girl again."

She knew Puck was right, intellectually. But Mercedes couldn't help it; there was something in her gut that told her not to trust Quinn. Rarely were her instincts wrong.

"Quinn feels the same way. You're fighting for the same cause here."

"We better head out," said Mercedes as she walked toward the hall closet to retrieve her coat. She didn't want Puck thinking the worst of her, and if she shared all of her thoughts about Quinn that is exactly what would happen. Puck had a soft spot when it came to Quinn, even after what she put him through. All men did. Especially Sam.

"We've got some time. Come sit with me," said Puck as he slid over to make room for Mercedes to join him on the couch. "I saw Shane at Scandals last night."

Mercedes rolled her eyes at the mention of Shane's name. "Puck, I don't want to talk about Shane."

"He didn't look good Cede."

"He's going to be moving to North Carolina," she stated her eyes fixated on the floor.

"For that fellowship?"

"Yep. He's pretty much a shoe in." She allowed herself to sink into the couch cushions hoping they would shield her from this conversation. She told Puck everything, but this somehow seemed too personal. It was like she was admitting out loud that she was an indecisive twit. She just didn't want him to see her in that light, to have the fact that she wrecked the lives of two men on such prominent display.

"So he was getting wasted on a Wednesday night because his career is going great?" Puck persisted.

"Fine," she sighed. "He asked me to move to North Carolina with him."

"And you said no?"

"Of course I said no." Mercedes looked at Puck surprised he would think otherwise.

"And may I ask why?"

"Because my life is here. My family, you, Beth."

"You were only awarded temporary custody of Beth you could always join Shane later, once Quinn is able to take care of the baby again."

"It just wouldn't have worked out. Okay?" Please drop it Puck, Mercedes pleaded with him in her mind. It was to no avail of course. Nothing ever went smoothly in her life so she prepared herself to reveal the truth.

"You've been spending a lot of time with him. I just figured things had been progressing."

"Well you figured wrong. Shane and I are friends, nothing more." Puck grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her to face him, staring her in the eyes. Mercedes tried to remain calm, praying her face wouldn't betray anything that lurked beneath.

"Oh Mercedes no. You're still hung up on Sam." He released her and put his face in his hands, shaking his head back and forth obviously distressed by the revelation.

"I'm not hung up on Sam."

"Now look me in the eye and say that." He turned to face her again.

"Puck what do you want me to say?" she asked carefully avoiding his gaze. "Shane was not the one for me. That's all there is to it. I tried moving on with him, I thought maybe that was who I was supposed to be with the whole time, but I was wrong,"

"So Sam is the one?"

"I don't know if I believe in the one anymore." She got up and went to the closet, taking out her coat and putting it on. "I don't even have time to think about romantic crap like that. In case you haven't noticed I'm kinda swamped."

"Oh I've noticed. Noticed how you insist on doing everything yourself, denying any help at every turn. You won't even let me babysit Beth."

"I thought it would be hard for you, being around her since you once believed she was yours," said Mercedes carefully. She never knew how to approach this delicate topic with Puck afraid that he might explode. So far he'd been good about it all, still supporting Quinn, not showing any signs of resentment toward Beth, but Mercedes was so scared it was all an act and that at any moment Puck would blow.

"You know I'm fine with Beth. I love her as much as you do."

"I know," Mercedes said softly. "I did let you babysit that one time remember? And you invited Santana over."

"Santana is good with kids."

"I don't trust her. I bet she's plotting to sell Beth on the black market. That girl will do anything for a buck."

"Mercedes," he warned. "So what about Shane?"

"Look I'm sorry that Shane got hurt in all this. But I have so much more to worry about than his feelings." She searched the room for her purse, her movements increasingly frantic as she tossed aside the pillows she just straightened, her words flowing quickly from her mouth. "I'm trying to keep it all together here. I have school and work and Beth. She's getting to be a handful, pretty soon she will be running around this place. I have to stay on top of her. And there is Sam. I mean I have to …"

Suddenly she stopped her voice trailing off as she sobbed. Tears clouded her vision, and her purse was nowhere in sight. She rocked back on her heels unsteady feeling as if she might fall and then Puck was there turning her around in his arms holding her close.

"Shh I didn't mean to upset you," he said soothingly offering her a tissue from the coffee table. "I was just making sure you were following your heart."

"Well did I pass the Puck test?" she asked through her sniffles.

"Yep. Your heart is still in the same spot it has been since the day I met you."

And that, Mercedes thought sadly, was the problem.


	11. Chapter 11

Quartie and Quick for ya! Thanks for reading!

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><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

This is nothing like Law and Order, thought Quinn as she gazed around the courtroom.

The room was small, harshly lit with fluorescent lights, and furnished with standard office chairs and tables. She realized this wasn't an actual trial with a jury, but she still pictured a more formal setting. Large floor to ceiling windows covered one wall of the room, but they were covered by closed mini blinds that blocked the sunlight. There was a small section to the left of the judges seat that was designated by a velvet rope and a sign that read, "press". In front of that area was the court stenographer's desk. She was already there, busily preparing for the proceedings.

"It's almost time to start," said Artie as he slid into the wooden seat beside Quinn. "Just remember what I said. Keep calm, cool and respectful."

"Right," said Quinn as she tried to calm her nerves by taking deep breaths. "I've got to keep it together."

"Every time the judge looks over at you I want him to see a mother that is remorseful yet composed. If we could refrain from overdoing it on the tears, that would be great," said Artie as he busied himself with a document on his Ipad.

"I'm not much of a crier, so that shouldn't be a problem."

Finally all her years of controlling her emotions would come in handy. People often mistook her lack of tears or emotional displays as coldness, if only they knew all that she felt inside. It was just safer to keep those feelings locked away; to show them would be weakness. Quinn would have never made it through her childhood and dealing with her mother if she collapsed into a teary mess every time things didn't go her way. It now took a great deal to get her to crack and she always felt like a fool whenever she let her emotions get the better of her.

"Good, but not too detached. We want the judge to know you care. Maybe something like tear filled eyes would be best."

"You sound like a director," said Quinn. She was feeling a little uneasy about this conversation. It was starting to feel like he didn't believe she was going to be set free, as if he had to create this elaborate plan in order to give her half a chance.

"Do you have any acting experience? Now would be a good time to draw from it."

"I don't have to pretend to be remorseful. I already am. I feel terrible about all I've done to my baby."

He finally looked up at her. "I didn't mean to insinuate you don't. Courtrooms are about appearances. You need to project a certain image that will help things go our way. The goal here is to win, right?"

"How can we win? I am guilty."

"Winning would be anything that keeps you from being locked up for the next few years. We want you to walk out of here a free woman, so you can get back to your daughter," said Artie as he looked down at the cell phone in his hand. "I have to take this. Just sit tight I will be right back."

Quinn watched Artie make his way through the double doors at the back of the courtroom. She was starting to feel sick to her stomach as she watched more and more people file in. This was actually happening, today her fate would be determined. Would she be locked away in a mental ward, a prison cell? Would she never be allowed to see her baby again?

She knew that her postpartum depression had a lot to do with this entire mess, but Quinn couldn't pretend that just as much of this was because of her bad choices once again. She was often impulsive and didn't think things through before she took action, usually the victim was only herself, but this time she took Beth down with her. Would she do this the rest of her life? Would her choices constantly put her child in jeopardy?

She needed someone to provide her balance. To hold her feet when her impulses started to make her float away. A voice of reason to help her sort through her often muddled thoughts. It was not that Quinn couldn't take care of herself or make her own decisions. It was more that she needed someone there to be her sounding board, to get her to stop and consider her choices beyond her first instincts. Funny, how all the years she was so alone in the world as a child and managed just fine, it was her as an adult that actually needed someone. She had felt so lost these past few months. Santana and Puck had been her constant supporters, they were great, but they still were not enough for Quinn to shake those feelings of loneliness and confusion. They couldn't hold her to the ground, when all she felt was the urge to bolt. She need her rock, her anchor, she needed Sam.

Quinn wasn't quite sure when it happened. She couldn't pinpoint a date when she realized that Sam was the person that anchored her in this world. It must have been on one of those lonely nights while she was still pregnant with Beth, one of her many nights alone in the bed while Puck slept on the couch. A child was growing inside her and a man that claimed to want to marry her was in the next room, but she had never felt more alone. In those late hours, Quinn would let herself cry for Sam.

"Hey Quinn." She roused herself from her thoughts at the sound of her name, looking up to see Puck standing in front of her. His usually bright smile was dimmed, but she could tell he was still trying to remain upbeat. Puck could never hide his feelings from her, she used to always call him out on the moods he tried to hide.

"Hi Puck."

"I have something for you from Santana. She is so sorry she couldn't be here this morning."

"It's okay. Artie explained it all to me. I understand."

"I'm glad you do, because I am not so sure I agree with this decision."

"Artie just wants everything to go smoothly. He is taking every precaution."

"And Santana would mess things up?"

Quinn shot him a pointed look. "C'mon Puck. It is Santana we are talking about."

"Okay fine. Maybe he's right, but I still hate that you can't have your best friend here with you."

"I know she is with me in spirit. And look, I'm wearing the lip gloss she gave me."

"I'll be sure to tell her that tidbit," chuckled Puck. "So where's your lawyer? I figured he would be glued by your side."

"He had to take a call. So what was it you were going to give me?"

"Oh I almost forgot." Puck reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Beth. "Santana told me she was supposed to bring this with her today, but since things changed, she asked me to do it." Quinn took the photo in her hand, smiling as she looked at her sweet Beth's face. It was the photo Mercedes had given her the night before. The hospital wouldn't let her take anything out with her, so Santana offered to bring the photo to courthouse. Quinn wasn't a superstitious person by nature, but if anything could bring her luck it would be her little girl's smile. She placed the photo on the table in front of her, where she could see it easily. "She is so beautiful Quinn. You definitely done good with that little one."

"I did, didn't I?" smiled Quinn. "I think she just may be the only worthwhile thing I have ever done. That is why I am so sick at how much I screwed up with her already. I have to get through this so I can get back to being her mother. I can't let Beth suffer anymore because of me."

"And you will," said Puck as he rubbed her shoulder reassuringly. "I have no doubts that you and Beth will be reunited soon."

"You better not let Mercedes hear you say that? She might consider those words an act of betrayal."

"How is wanting the best for Beth a betrayal?" asked Puck.

"I know how close you are with Mercedes, and I am definitely not her favorite person."

"As I told Mercedes earlier, you two are on the same side. All you both want is for Beth to have a happy life. I wish you two would just get over, whatever this is, and realize that."

"I slept with her husband and had his baby, I don't think Mercedes will be burying any hatchets anytime soon. Unless it is in my back."

"Quinn – "

"Look I see Mercedes just came in," interrupted Quinn. She watched Mercedes take a seat near the back. "I think you should go and be with her. I am fine."

"You do know I have room in my life for the both of you."

"I know that. I just don't want any drama today. I'm sure she needs a friend by her side."

"And you don't?"

"I've made it this far on my own, a little bit more won't break me."

"You are not on your own Quinn. You have me and Santana."

"I know and I appreciate you both so much. But it is just that – "

"It is not the same," interrupted Puck. "It's not Sam."

"Puck, I don't want to hurt your feelings."

"I get it. You want your baby's father around while you are going through all of this."

"It is not just because he is Beth's father. Sam is…" She faltered searching for the right words. "Sam is my base, my anchor. He would be the one I would lean on during a time like this, no matter what."

"I know," said Puck as he looked away from her.

Quinn often wondered if her closeness to Sam bothered Puck. Even while they had been together the first time, after high school, Quinn had kept in contact with Sam. He sent her letters while he was in Afghanistan, and she emailed him once he came back home. During those years they were apart, they didn't delve into anything deep, but they both seemed to need to keep that contact, a connection. And when they both were back in Salem, that connection once again grew into a full friendship. She needed him and relied on him, and he always came through for her. Quinn hoped he felt the same way about her.

"I guess I am just missing him right now," she said softly.

"I know you are. I wish I could do something, snap my fingers or make a wish and have him magically appear here today to hold your hand. But I can't." He took both of her hands in his own and held them tightly. "All I can offer is the next best thing. Me. I may not be Sam, but remember I care about you too."

"Thank you Puck." He placed his hand on her shoulder again as he walked past her to join Mercedes in a seat a few rows back.

Quinn wished she could let Puck be enough. But he wasn't. The one she truly needed wasn't here and wasn't coming back, and no matter how many times Quinn reminded herself of that fact, it never changed her wanting things to be different.


	12. Chapter 12

Thanks for reading and commenting! The trial begins...

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><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

"Let the record show that the last time Quinn Fabray stood in my courtroom was December 20th of last year. She pleaded guilty to one count of child endangerment and one count of child abandonment in accordance with the laws of our state. The combination of these crimes could garner up to four years in prison. At the time Ms. Fabray was being treated for postpartum depression, and as a result I decided to delay her sentencing until a full psychiatric analysis could be made. She has remained at the Lima University Hospital Psychiatric Ward since that date. Ms. Fabray will you please stand?"

Quinn stood up from her seat in front of the judge, smoothing her dress nervously as she tried to will her heart from thudding rapidly in her chest. She felt like she was about to face a firing squad. Judge Mitchell Leary had a commanding presence as he peered down at her over his silver wire glasses.

"Ms. Fabray since you were in mental distress the last time I saw you in my courtroom. I sent you to be evaluated at the Lima University Hospital Psychiatric facility to see if you were able to comprehend your actions and the legalities of your situation. Your doctor could not be here this morning due to an emergency with a patient. But she did send me a formal statement and her assessment of your health. Dr. Hill states in her report that you have been a model patient and that after numerous sessions with her you are aware of your actions and you are mentally capable of making decisions. She thinks with continued therapy, you should be ready to rejoin the community and to resume your role as primary caregiver to your daughter, Beth Evans. As a result of this report, I now ask you how do you plead to the charges made against you?"

"Guilty your honor. I want to take full responsibility for my actions."

"Let the record show that Quinn Fabray has pled guilty to all charges. Today's proceedings are to allow me to hear from key witnesses in your case. After I have heard all of their testimony I will decide your sentence. Do you understand?"

"Yes your honor."

"You may be seated. Counselor Abrams please remember that you are here in an observatory capacity and no arguments or rebuttals can be made by you. Your client has waived her right to a trial. Unless your client has decided to change her plea, my ruling today will be upheld and her sentence will be served immediately."

"Yes your honor."

"District Attorney Brennan I am a bit surprised to see you here today since this is just a sentencing and not a trial. Usually you would send someone to represent your office."

"This case is about a young member of our community from a prominent family. There has been a large amount of media attention and I wanted to personally be here to watch justice be served."

"Very well, but the reminder I just gave Mr. Abrams stands for you as well. I don't want any disruptions in this court room."

"Understood your honor."

"Now that Ms. Fabray has been found mentally competent to understand the charges against her and has entered her plea of guilty to one count of child abandonment and one count of child endangerment, DA Brennan what is the recommended sentence for Ms. Fabray?" asked Judge Leary.

"The state recommends that Quinn Fabray serve a maximum of three years in the state penitentiary with eligibility for parole after 1.5 years."

"And no plea bargains have been reached?"

"No your honor," stated DA Brennan.

"Let's begin. I would like to hear from Noah Puckerman first. Will you please approach the bench and take a seat to my left?" Puck smiled quickly at Quinn as he walked to the bench in his perfectly tailored navy blue suit.

"Mr. Puckerman, please tell the court your relationship to Quinn Fabray."

"Quinn Fabray is my ex-fiancee and one of my closest friends. We had been together just over a year before our last break up, but before that we were a couple right after she graduated high school. I've known her since I was 15."

"What happened on December 9th?" asked Judge Leary.

"Well I was coming out of the D&E Industries warehouse down by the docks. I had to meet with the foreman about our new shipping procedures. When I saw Quinn standing over by the end pier."

"What time would you say this was?"

"It was dark out but not too late. I would say about 7pm or so."

"So you saw Ms. Fabray by the pier."

"I called out to her, since I thought it was her but I wasn't exactly sure. It seemed strange for her to be in that area. So I called her name, but she didn't respond. I started walking toward her and that is when she jumped…. I mean fell into the water."

"Which was it? Jumped or fell?"

"I was a few yards away from her at the time. It would be hard for me to say concretely what happened, but I cannot imagine her consciously jumping into the freezing cold river."

"Okay Mr. Puckerman what happened next?"

"I ran as fast as I could over to where she was and I jumped in after her."

"How long did it take you to pull her from the water?"

"Since I jumped in almost immediately after she did, I was able to find her quickly. The water was cold, and that slowed me down, but I definitely would say we were out of the water in a few minutes."

"What did you do once you were safely out of the water?"

"I carried her over to my car and drove her to the hospital. She was sort of out of it, not quite unconscious sort of murmuring."

"Could you understand what she was saying?"

"No I could not."

"Thank you Mr. Puckerman. Is there anything else you'd like to add?"

He locked eyes with her as he shifted in his seat on the witness stand. Quinn couldn't help but notice how handsome he looked. His pale blue shirt that he wore under his jacket without a tie made his hazel eyes look a light shade of gray.

"Just that in all the years I have known Quinn I would never expect she'd do something like this. That's how I know that it must have been the PPD that caused it. She would never risk the life of her child."

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><p>"Mrs. Sylvester I have a copy here of the police report you filed that states you witnessed Quinn Fabray deliberately abandon her treatment for postpartum depression just days before the incidents of December 9th. Is that correct?"<p>

"Yes, your honor. I saw that lunatic trash her prescription pills." Quinn's heart constricted in her chest as she uneasily remembered that night.

"Please tell the court exactly what happened."

"I went over to visit my granddaughter, Beth Evans, at Shannon Beiste's house. Beth was in the kitchen in her little baby carrier crying. And Quinn was just ignoring her. She was sipping a cocktail or something at the kitchen table."

"You are such a liar Sue!" Quinn exclaimed. "That never happened!"

"Ms. Fabray control yourself. Outbursts will not be tolerated. You will be given a chance to speak later," warned Judge Leary. "Please continue Mrs. Sylvester."

"I came in the house and picked up Beth to quiet her and she was soaking wet. I guess her trollop of a mother hadn't bothered to change her. So I asked her about it and she just goes off on me. Verbally attacking me, accusing me of trying to take away her baby. Which is crazy. All I wanted to know was where she kept the diapers. Then she snatched the baby from my arms and stormed upstairs with her."

"When did you actually see her discard her pills?"

"That was a bit later. She came back down without the baby and poured herself another drink. I suggested that maybe she shouldn't be drinking with the baby and that she needs to stay alert. Quinn then said she is never alert and that she is like a zombie, that her antidepressants sap her of her energy and that she has stopped taking them. Of course I was immediately alarmed. I'm worried about the baby because she wasn't coping well with her before she was on her medication. When I tried to remind her of that, Quinn lashed out at me again, telling me to mind my own business. If I didn't know better I would swear she was taunting me because she got up and dumped the entire bottle of pills down the garbage disposal right in front of me."

"She's lying! She told me to dump the pills. She said it would hurt my baby if I were like a zombie. You have to listen!" pleaded Quinn jumping up from her seat, tears streaming down her face.

"That right there your honor is a prime example of how Quinn was acting that day. That's why I had to report her behavior to the police," added Sue playing causally with the pearl necklace around her neck.

Artie yanked Quinn back down and whispered gruffly. "Quinn you have to calm down. Doesn't matter what she is saying."

"Counsel this is your last warning. Please control your client." Artie nodded at the judge and turned to Quinn. He tapped the picture of Beth that was on the table in front of them, a subtle reminder to Quinn to keep her focus on what was important. Quinn swiped away the few tears that lingered on her cheeks and took a deep breath. She could do this, for Beth.

"You've indicated that you'd like to speak about Quinn's character. Is there anything else you would like add, Mrs. Sylvester?" asked the judge.

"Yes I would," said Sue as she shifted forward in her seat. "Quinn Fabray has been a blight on my family for years. It all began in high school when she led my son on and caused him to become virtually obsessed with her. He had to run away and join the military to be free of her mind games as she played my son and his cousin Puck off of each other. Once she got her hooks into Puck, she dragged him around the world forcing him to be her groupie/roadie/slash sex slave, got him addicted to drugs and then dumped his ass when he tried to get sober. She came back to Lima and wrecked my other son Mike's life, seducing him and getting him to leave his wife and young family, only to turn around and cheat on him with Puck during their brief relationship. Of course, then she started in on my son Sam again destroying his life and his marriage with her slutty behavior. The one good thing is that she gave birth to my precious granddaughter, but her negligence and complete disregard for anyone but herself has put my granddaughter's life in danger over and over. I thank God everyday that she tried to off herself and Beth was taken away from her. If not for that, who knows what could have happened to that baby."

"Is that all Mrs. Sylvester?"

"Yes Judge. I want justice served so this one woman wrecking ball can finally be stopped and be put behind bars where she belongs."

"Thank you. You may step down. Next I would like to hear from Mr. Buck Taylor."

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><p>"Mr. Taylor tell the court how you came to be in Lima Woods on the evening of December 9th."<p>

Mr. Taylor was an older man of about sixty. His hair was salt and pepper all over, cut in a neatly cropped style. He wore corduroys and a plaid shirt, that looked freshly ironed. Quinn guessed a man like him wouldn't be caught in a suit. She imagined he spent most of his time trekking through the woods, hunting and fishing.

"I was hunting further back in the hunting area. I had to walk through that section of Lima Woods to get to my truck."

"It was after dark. Do you normally hunt at night?"

"No sir. I had to double back to my hunting grounds because I forgot some of my gear. I ended up walking back later than usual. I have been hunting in Lima Woods for 25 years but I still don't like being in those woods after dark. It's a little creepy."

"Recount to the court exactly what happened."

"I was following the footpath through the woods. You know the one that hikers use or kids up to no good. And I heard crying, like a baby crying real soft like. At first I thought it was my mind playing tricks. Then I heard it again. So I went towards the sound off the path a stretch and there on the grass was a little baby. She was in a seat type thing, wrapped up in a blanket with a note pinned to her. She was fussing something awful and she had snowflakes all over her. We had a short snow shower maybe about thirty minutes before. I remember thinking to myself – who would leave a baby alone in the woods? Anything could have gotten her. Not to mention the cold."

Quinn's eyes began to fill with tears as she listened in horror to what her little Beth must have endured alone in the cold. It almost felt like they were talking about another person. She was horrified to believe that anyone would do that, let alone herself.

"Once you found baby Beth what did you do next?"

"I picked her up in her little seat and I started running to my truck. I tried to dial 911 on the way but the signal kept dropping. Once I got to my truck I drove to the hospital and I called the cops as soon as I hit the main road. I got to the emergency room and they were ready for me. They whisked the little one away to get checked over and I stayed and gave my statement to the police."

"Thank you Mr. Taylor. You're free to leave. The court will now take a short fifteen minute recess before continuing."

* * *

><p>"Do you need to stretch your legs? Do you want some water?" asked Artie.<p>

"I'm fine thank you." Quinn didn't feel fine at all. They were only halfway through the proceedings and she already felt like she had been through the ringer. Sue had sat on the stand and told vicious lies about her and she was powerless to stop it. She wanted to claw that murderous bitch's eyes out, but she didn't think that would help her case.

"Quinn I realize how difficult it must be for you hearing people say all of those things up there. But you've got to hold it together. You're getting too emotional."

"How am I supposed to react when people are telling lies and twisting the facts? I can't even defend myself."

"You pled guilty and while the judge will give you a chance to speak, you gave up your right to a defense. What we have to do is focus on projecting a remorseful yet calm and collected image. We want the judge to believe you are on the mend and that you're truly sorry for your actions."

"I am sorry."

"I know you are. Now we need the judge to believe it. So how about every time something someone up there says upsets you, how about you squeeze my hand. Don't say anything, squeeze."

"Okay." Quinn looked at him skeptically. She knew Artie was trying, but maybe he was just too inexperienced for this case.

"Let's practice." Artie turned to face her, offering his hand.

"Practice squeezing your hand? I think I can manage that one."

His hands weren't much larger than hers, but his fingers were long, his palms smooth, definitely no manual labor for him. She didn't see any signs of a ring, so she guessed her attorney was single. Not that Quinn cared, she didn't have time for men. If Quinn had her way she would never fall in love again. All love managed to do was ruin her life each and every time. Now the only love she had room for was the love she had for her daughter. Anything else wasn't important.

"C'mon let's just do a trial run. Let me think of something really disparaging."

"I've got one. Quinn Fabray is a horrible mother that would rather get drunk and hook up with random men at bars than take care of her daughter." Quinn grabbed his still outstretched hand and squeezed tightly.

"Ouch! Who said that about you?"

"It was in the Midwest Examiner. Everyone seems to think they have the right to judge me."

"The media has to sell papers. They thrive on scandal. They don't know you and don't care about the truth. All that matters is that we convince the judge that you are ready to be a devoted mother, like you've already convinced me."

"You've known me for like two days, how did I convince you?"

"You don't give up." He looked at her intently, his eyes actually shifting from a pale blue to an ocean blue-green in front of her. "You are getting trashed in the media, trashed by your daughter's grandparents, you've been locked in a mental ward and you're still here fighting, staying positive. Only a good mother would endure all of this."

"Thank you." She smiled at him, wondering how he had the ability to make her feel more at ease with the simplest of words. It was then she remembered they were still holding hands. He looked down at their joined hands just as she did, and abruptly pulled his away.

"So remember squeeze me and we'll make it through this together." His cheeks reddened slightly almost as if he were blushing at what he just said.

"You got it," Quinn chuckled. She just might have the dorkiest lawyer on the planet.


	13. Chapter 13

Thank you for reading and commenting...more from the courtroom...

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><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

Dwight Evans made his way up the aisle toward the area where Quinn and Artie were seated. His large frame consuming most of the space in the walkway as he approached. Others who had been milling about during the recess jumped out of his way, perhaps in fear that Dwight would run them down if they didn't move. And he would have. Dwight didn't give an inch, for anyone.

"I want to know who is responsible for this travesty," demanded Dwight slamming his fist on the table in front of Quinn.

"And what travesty are you referring to?" asked Artie immediately rising to his feet to face down the larger man.

"The one that caused Shannon Beiste to be dragged into this train wreck. She had to push through that hoard of media vipers just to be subjected to this nonsense. There is nothing Shannon can say that will save you Quinn. You made your bed, and you will be forced to wallow in it."

"What gives you the right to come in here and harass my client?" asked Artie crossing his arms across his chest.

"I am Dwight Evans. The baby she tried to kill was my granddaughter. I have all the rights in the world."

"Artie Abrams meet Dwight Evans," said Quinn blandly, not even bothering to look up at the two men.

She had been through this countless times before. Dwight blustered and others either quivered in fear or challenged him until they were ultimately brought to their knees. There was no winning with Dwight, just degrees of retreat. Quinn had managed to learn over the years how to tango with Dwight and still leave with most of her dignity intact. The key was to disregard most of what he said as just the confused ramblings of a cranky old man. Sam used to tell her to just let him rant on, don't even argue with him, he would eventually tire himself out and drop the conversation. That might have worked for Sam, but Quinn had not been so lucky. She had been one of Dwight's favorite targets almost since she stepped foot in Lima. He seemed to dislike her on sight.

"Abrams," said Dwight sizing up the man in front of him. "Well you definitely got the short straw being put on this case."

"I volunteered," stated Artie, placing a hand on her shoulder as he spoke. "Quinn's a wonderful person and she just needs some help getting her life back on track."

"Oh boy, Quinn! Hooked another one I see. Young man let me give you some advice right now. Get out while you can, don't look her in the eyes, and definitely don't sleep with her. You are dealing with Medusa in the flesh."

"Dwight that's enough," warned Shannon Beiste as she and Julian walked up behind him.

"I don't think so Shannon. Someone needs to answer for involving you in this mess."

"Dwight come sit down. The court is about to return to session," pleaded Beiste grabbing Dwight's arm in an attempt to force him to move, her camel colored pants suit jacket riding up her waist as she tugged.

Shannon Beiste was a strong woman, tall and sturdy, in excellent shape, with a short no nonsense haircut, and sharply chiseled face. Some might say she was a hard woman, giving off a decidedly masculine air, and they wouldn't be wrong. Those attributes had gone a long way in helping her be a successful high school football coach, but all of that toughness was a facade. Behind her hardened exterior, resided the most delicate woman, with a sensitive soul and a compassionate heart, only her piercing crystal blue eyes hinted at her softer side.

"Don't try to usher me off woman," said Dwight swatting Beiste away. "I have more to say."

"Why don't you just give it a rest Dwight? She is here facing her crimes. Let the system work," said Julian dryly.

Julian seemed to barely be paying attention to the exchange, as his eyes flitted around the courtroom, his hands stuffed in his gray trouser pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels. He was looking everywhere but at her. Quinn noticed his gaze repeatedly landed on Mercedes, probably wishing he could go and sit. Anything to be far away from her.

"Thanks Julian," said Quinn finally getting him to meet her gaze. He nodded his head in acknowledgment as he quickly looked away once again.

"Shannon let's go. I can't watch you or my fool headed nephew Puck fall over this woman again. Julian, you may have a brilliant mind for science, but in the common sense department you are a damn idiot. You need to learn how to cut the deadweight and Puck needs to stop thinking with the brain in his pants for once."

Dwight and Beiste left the area and a quiet settled over the remaining trio. Artie returned to his seat, but Quinn noticed how he kept trying to slyly look at Julian from the corner of his eye. She guessed he was being protective. Artie couldn't know if Julian would be just as volatile as Dwight had been. But Quinn knew better, it took a lot to get Julian riled up enough to cause a scene. He would have to actually care. And he had made it very clear over the past few months that he no longer did.

Julian rolled his eyes at Dwight before turning back to Quinn. "Anyway, Quinn I don't know if you realize but I am going to be called to the stand."

"I know. Artie told me."

Quinn cursed herself for the gush of hope that coursed through her when Julian said her name. Just like when she was a teen, first meeting Julian through Puck, she had this inexplicable need to impress him. She wanted to be worthy of his friendship and taken into his fold like Puck was. Ultimately she got her wish, and Julian opened his heart and his home to her the same way he had with Puck, and things had been so good for awhile, finally she felt like she had the familial bond that was lacking within her own. Then she had gone and wrecked it, hurting both Puck and Julian in one swift blow. Never had she felt more alone.

"Okay, so I just didn't want you to be surprised or anything. If I had my way, I would be as far away from here as possible. I've been trying to keep my distance from all of this," said Julian backing away as he spoke.

"I've noticed," said Quinn quietly to his retreating form.

That was the longest conversation she and Julian had managed to have in weeks. He had just seemed to shut her out of his life completely, as if their connection to each other never even existed. How could a man she once thought had the biggest heart of anyone she had ever met, suddenly turn so cold?

"Are you okay?" asked Artie tentatively his head cocked to the side seemingly trying to read her.

"Yes," she tried to smile at Artie reassuringly.

"It's okay if you're not."

"Trust me I'm used to Dwight and his tirades. It's how we communicate."

"I was asking more about whether you were okay about seeing Julian and also your ex sitting back there. That had to be difficult."

"I can't think about that right now. I just want to focus on today."

"Sounds good, but if you ever need to talk," he said his voice trailing off hesitantly.

"And how much do you charge per hour Mr. Abrams," Quinn teased.

"For you? I would definitely cut a deal. We could swap war stories, an ex for an ex. I think that would be fair." He smiled at her widely, the corners of his eyes crinkling. He had a nice smile. Not quite like Sam's, no one had a smile like his, but Artie's was nice.

"You have an ex too?" asked Quinn somewhat surprised by his admission. She figured Artie was too busy studying the law to have much of a social life.

"Doesn't everybody?"

"Well I have numerous exes. You may be in for more than you bargained for. Think you can handle it?"

"My ex Charli is a model/actress, got her big break on reality TV. You know the one where they all live in a hut and have to catch their own food? She was the vegan that whined the whole time."

"I think I remember her. Didn't PETA put her in their ads after that?"

"That would be her. Until they caught her on hidden cam in the McDonald's drive thru ordering a Big Mac. Her drug of choice."

"Nice," Quinn laughed. "Sounds like our little chat could take awhile."

"You'll be a free woman soon, we've got nothing but time."

Quinn closed her eyes and smiled at the thought. A free woman, what she wouldn't give to have her life back, to be with Beth again. By the end of the day it all could be true.

* * *

><p>"Dr. Jones due to the close personal relationship you had with Ms. Fabray, I'm confused as to why you are involved with her case."<p>

"I'm not a part of Quinn's medical team."

"But weren't you the one that found out that Beth Evans was not the biological child of Noah Puckerman?" asked Judge Leary.

"Yes. Both Ms. Fabray and Puck, I mean Noah, had thought up to that point that she was their child together. Quinn had paternity tests early on in her pregnancy but turns out there was some sort of clerical error because when Beth was ill after being born prematurely, Puck wasn't a genetic match. I was the one that had to break that news to Puck."

Quinn balled her hands into fists in her lap, opening and closing them as she braced herself for Julian's statement. She had no idea what he would say, but Quinn knew it couldn't be good. She cheated on Puck and broke his heart. Julian pretty much hated her now because of all the pain she caused. This would definitely be a great chance for him to exact his revenge. At the very least he could damage her already shattered image even further. Quinn could see the headlines now. "Hot shot surgeon slams local Lima slut on the stand." The media would have a field day.

"How did you come to realize that Ms. Fabray could have been suffering from postpartum depression?"

"Her erratic behavior. Her unwillingness to hold or care for Beth for prolonged periods of time. She was more focused on trying to get Puck back than taking care of her newborn. It was just out of character for her, she had wanted this baby so much so I thought something more could be wrong. Then when I heard about the incidents at Shannon Beiste's house, when she left the baby unattended, I knew. That's when I called Dr. Hill and asked her to meet with Quinn," stated Julian.

"After you put Quinn and Dr. Hill in contact your involvement was over?"

"Yes I needed a clean break from this very emotional situation. I had to regain my balance, find my center so to speak, so that I could be there for Puck. I've known both Puck and Quinn since they were teenagers, I love them like my own and it was very difficult being stuck in the middle of this situation. Ultimately, I had to put Puck's needs first and focus on him and help him maintain his sobriety while he dealt with this devastating loss. At first I thought Quinn understood this, but it turned out to be a very difficult thing for her, because Quinn didn't seem to realize that her relationship with Puck was truly over. Even after she started treatment for her PPD, she still continued to try to win Puck back. And she continued to use Beth in her cause."

"These instances she used Beth, did she put her in any danger?"

Under the table Artie grabbed Quinn's hand and gave it a quick squeeze. He must have been as nervous as she was about all the ways Julian could ruin things for her up on the stand. Clasping Artie's hand tightly she held her breath as Julian continued.

"No, she just tried to use our emotional connection to the baby to guilt Puck into taking her back and to get me to let her move back into the house. She would make up false ailments for the baby to get me to examine him and use those instances as an excuse for Puck and I to spend time with Beth and her."

That wasn't so bad. Maybe Julian didn't have it out for her. Perhaps he truly was serious about just wanting to put it all behind him. Quinn almost didn't know which was worse, Julian going for the jugular or his complete lack of regard for anything that had to do for her. Which was worse, to be hated or to be ignored?

"Thank you Dr. Jones. Is there anything else you would like to say today?"

"I hope Quinn gets the help she needs and gets her life back on track. She caused a lot of pain for my family, my daughter, and mostly herself. I just hope that her mental issues of the past few months are not indicative of a greater psychosis."

"Do you have any reason to think that Ms. Fabray's medical team may have misdiagnosed her and that she is still suffering from illness?" asked the judge with piqued interest.

"As I said earlier, I'm not part of Quinn's medical team, but as a physician I do know that sometimes symptoms can go undetected. I just hope nothing is flying under the radar with her, for all of our sakes."

Quinn was floored. She dropped Artie's hand and grabbed the picture of Beth on the table, clutching it between her fingers. Julian actually thought she was crazy. He thought she could do something to hurt her sweet baby again. Tears burned in her eyes as she let the full brunt of all that Julian had just said sink in. Julian used to be the man that knew her better than anyone. Over the years he had been more of father to her than her own. If someone had told Quinn a year ago that Julian would be ready to have her committed, she would have laughed in their face. But here she sat and Julian was telling the world that she was unstable.

* * *

><p>"Thank you Dr. Jones. You may step down. I now call Shannon Beiste to the stand."<p>

"I understand that Ms. Fabray's counsel asked you to come today and speak on her behalf."

"Yes your honor and I am glad to do it. Some very damaging and dare I say inaccurate things have been said in your courtroom today about Quinn."

"What in particular do you disagree with?"

"As you know, Quinn was staying at my home with Beth after she was born. They were with me from the month she was out of the hospital until her accident. Beth is still with me."

"Let the record show that Quinn was living with Shannon Beiste from November until December of last year. Please go on, Ms. Beiste."

"During the time she lived with me, I was witness to her interaction with the baby, and I just want to say that the picture that Sue Evans Sylvester painted is grossly exaggerated. While I do agree that Quinn seemed less than attentive with Beth at times, she never consumed alcohol. You see your honor, I keep an alcohol free home, and Quinn definitely respects me enough not to violate that rule."

"Could it be possible that Quinn perhaps drank when you were not around? I know you're busy running BreadStix and working in the community, you couldn't have possibly been home all the time."

"I do lead a busy life, but I would know if someone were drinking in my home. I have a sixth sense about these things."

"Ms. Beiste, can you please tell me what was Quinn like when she was with Beth. What kind of mother was she?"

"She seemed like the typical new mom to me dog tired and often frazzled. Caring for a newborn is hard work and most women are not fully prepared for the demands. I was worried she seemed to sleep quite a bit, often so soundly she wouldn't hear Beth crying. But I just chalked that up to her recovery, since she had him prematurely."

"Were you aware that Ms. Fabray was in treatment for postpartum depression?"

"Yes I was. She told me after her first appointment with Dr. Hill. I was relieved to hear she was getting help."

"Why were you relieved Ms. Beiste, when you said earlier you thought she was just suffering from the fatigue of being a new mother?"

"What I meant was that I was happy she was going to be having more energy to engage with her daughter. I didn't want her to miss out on those little sweet moments that newborns bless us with."

"And up to the point of her being diagnosed with PPD she was missing out on moments?"

"With all due respect your honor, I feel like you're cross examining me." Beiste turned in her seat to face the judge directly. "I came here to speak on Quinn Fabray's behalf, not to be grilled. My daddy was an attorney I know the drill. So let me speak my mind and leave."

"By all means, Ms. Beiste, please speak."

"Thank you. Quinn is not perfect by any means, but she is a survivor. Life knocks her around and she gets right back up and faces things again head on. I have always admired that about her. She is going through a particularly tough time right now, but I have faith that she will face this battle and win as well. I was around Quinn while she was pregnant; I know she was looking forward to being a mother. My heart just breaks that this terrible illness has stolen precious time from her. Time she can never get back. I hope that you will see your honor that this woman deserves to be with her daughter, to nurture her and love her. They shouldn't waste any more time apart."

Beiste smiled warmly at her from the stand. Quinn couldn't believe that Shannon Beiste thought all that about her, even after everything she had done to hurt her family. If someone like Beiste could find the good in Quinn, perhaps the judge could too.


	14. Chapter 14

Thank you for reading and commenting.

Here we go...Mercedes takes the stand...

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><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

Mercedes fidgeted in the hard wooden chair on the witness stand. The judge was conferring about something with the DA and Quinn's lawyer, so Mercedes was stuck waiting, on display in front of the entire courtroom. She was nervous enough without this added misery. Mercedes hoped she could just get up say the facts and promptly sit back down. She didn't want to be up there a moment longer than she had to be. But this was for Beth and Sam she had to do right by them, be strong and brave, endure the scrutiny, be a woman that Sam could like and respect. Someone that did the right thing and put family first, a good person like he was. All Mercedes ever wanted since meeting Sam was to be worthy of his affection and even marrying him didn't completely make her sure she achieved that status. She still couldn't help but hope that Sam would like and respect her after she spoke in court today. Everything seemed to be about Sam since Mercedes arrived in Lima, in one way or another. Today was no different.

She had tried to avoid looking at Quinn all morning. Mercedes thought it would be safer to keep a detached distance. She didn't want her emotions to get the better of her, especially on such an important day. Quinn always seemed to get a rise out of Mercedes lately. She couldn't look at Quinn without thinking about how she had tried to hurt Beth. Mercedes realized that this viewpoint may be somewhat irrational, since Quinn was sick at the time and in treatment now, but she still felt it just the same. Ever since Beth was born, Mercedes had been protective of her, now even more so. Her every instinct was telling her that Beth had to be protected from Quinn.

The judge was still conferring, so Mercedes allowed her eyes to wander in Quinn's direction. It was hard to avoid, since she was basically sitting right in front of her. There Quinn sat, looking model perfect as usual, casually sipping a glass of water, as if she were at a banquet instead of a hearing. Her tweed dress fitted to perfection, not a blond hair out of place. Mercedes self-consciously smoothed down her own black hair, sure it was a mess compared to Quinn's always pulled together style. If Mercedes were completely honest she would admit she was slightly jealous of Quinn. Even with the entire world against her, Quinn still managed to look like the picture of grace. Mercedes never could be that effortless, she was always saying the wrong things, laughing too loud, tripping over her own feet. She bet Quinn never tripped, not even while wearing five-inch heels.

The media frenzy surrounding this case had a whole lot more to do with how beautiful Quinn was and less with the welfare of a child. Every article or TV segment started off with Quinn's face for the world to see. Beiste said the media were just interested because Beth is an Evans, but Mercedes knew the truth. A beautiful crazy lady was far more intriguing to today's journalists than a frumpy stringy haired mom from Nebraska. Quinn looked like a model and the media was all over her. If Quinn managed to beat this rap, postpartum depression awareness groups would suddenly get a pretty new face to lend to their cause. Quinn would probably get offered a six-figure book deal when it was all said and done. She would get her baby back, marry a millionaire, and do the talk show circuit, all while flawlessly dressed. Maybe she would end up with her attorney. Leave it to Quinn to find such a little cutie to represent her.

And of course Mercedes would be stuck in Lima, alone and worried about whether or not Beth was getting fed on time or a having a good night's rest. Mercedes definitely felt like the ugly stepsister in this fairytale. No prince was going to ride up to her house and offer her a glass slipper. At least not another prince. She had her shot at being Cinderella once, and her prince promptly decided the shoe fit better on Quinn Fabray than on her own size 7 foot.

None of that mattered now in any case. Her only concern in life was taking care of her family. And Beth was a big part of her family, so she was willing, if not quite ready, to look out for her, no matter the costs. She made a promise and she intended to keep it. Not that it was a hard promise to keep. She loved that baby more than she ever thought possible. She was able to give all the love she kept bottled inside to Beth. The love she wished she could have given her mom to make her stop hurting her, the love she desperately had wanted to give to Sam to make him never leave, it all went to Beth now.

"Please take your seats. We are ready to continue. Mrs. Evans you're in a very interesting position in this case. You're the one person that was involved with Ms. Fabray intimately before and after the baby was born. And you currently have temporary custody of baby Beth," stated Judge Leary.

"That is correct your honor," Mercedes responded trying to swallow the lump that seemed permanently lodged in her throat.

"Let's start from the beginning. How did you come to be acquainted with Quinn Fabray?"

"I knew her from around town. She was dating my husband Sam's brother, Mike for a time, and she later became engaged to my best friend, Noah Puckerman. So I had many chances to run into her."

"How would you characterize your relationship with her at that point? Were you friends?"

"I didn't know her very well. She seemed sweet enough, very quiet though. I have a hard time with quiet people. I talk a lot and when someone doesn't talk back, it makes me nervous." Mercedes giggled slightly as she twisted her wedding rings around her finger. "I don't think I ever had longer than a five minute conversation with her, until Sam and I became engaged."

"Your husband, Sam Evans, was close to Ms. Fabray?"

"Yes. She and Sam went to high school together. They were sweethearts, first loves," she said rolling her eyes upward emphatically. "They maintained a close friendship over the years."

"So you got to know her better through your husband?"

"And my father."

Not that Quinn was very embracing of Mercedes. She was rather standoffish for the most part. There was that time when Quinn planned a brunch for all of them. It was nice, but it felt more like Quinn was doing it to impress Julian rather than truly wanting to bond as a future family.

"After spending more time with her, did your impressions of Quinn change?"

Mercedes quickly glanced over at Quinn before answering. "Well she still was pretty quiet with me. Things were awkward between us. I think because Julian and I newly discovered we were father and daughter. That's a lot to handle out of the blue, not only for us, but for Quinn as well. I sort of thought she might have resented my sudden presence in her life. Up until then Quinn was the only daughter," Mercedes made quotes in the air with her fingers when she said the word, "in my father's life."

"Did Ms. Fabray ever express any of those feelings to you?"

"No, she always maintained she was happy that Julian and I found each other," said Mercedes looking down at her lap.

She always wanted to believe that Quinn wanted her around Julian, but at times it was hard. She couldn't help feeling like she was always interrupting some private family moment or established routine. The timing never felt right whenever she came around their house. Both Julian and Quinn had assured her she was being silly, but Mercedes still didn't quite believe them.

"I have here in my report that you delivered Beth. Is that correct?"

"I helped. I was with Quinn when she went into labor on the side of the road. Lucky for us, my father arrived just before Beth was born. I'm not sure I could have managed without him. I didn't picture my first birthing experience as a nurse to be in the middle of nowhere." Mercedes looked over at Quinn and smiled. Quinn smiled back at her as if she too were remembering Beth's birth.

It had been an amazing day, one that she had hoped would be a new beginning for the both of them. Quinn had given her a chance at a real family with Beth. Puck was like a brother to Mercedes since Julian thought of him as a son. For Mercedes, Beth's birth was almost like getting a little sister, someone she would know from the start. She wouldn't be some newly discovered relative that had to find a way to accept and love her. She would be in Beth's heart from day one, a real big sister. It was something she had always dreamed about. Mercedes had felt so grateful. She wanted to forgive Quinn of everything after that. And she did, for about two hours, until she found out Beth was Sam's baby and not Puck's. She felt like an idiot for even allowing herself to be that happy, even for a few hours. Mercedes knew better. Dreams never came true for long in her world.

"Was it because you were there at her birth that you developed a close bond with Beth?" asked Judge Leary turning to face Mercedes more fully. "I ask this because you are her temporary guardian, and yet she was conceived with another woman outside of your marriage."

"At first we all thought Beth was Puck's, so of course I loved her already. When I found out that she actually was my husband's daughter, I was stunned. I was certain that all the anger and resentment I felt about his infidelity would impact how I saw Beth. But when I went into the NICU and saw her little face again, none of that mattered," she said with a small smile, running her fingers through the front of her hair. "She's her own little person you know? It doesn't matter how she came into the world."

"You lived with Shannon Beiste the same time that Quinn and Beth did last November?"

"I have lived with Beiste for about three years. When Sam and I got married we continued to live there. It's the only home I have ever known in Lima, anywhere really." Mercedes looked over at Beiste who was seated next to Dwight. She gave Mercedes a small wave from her seat. Mercedes smiled back at her as she continued. "Beth was in the hospital for about a month because she was premature and developed an infection at birth. She was released in early November and that is when she and Quinn moved in."

"Tell me about Quinn's interaction with Beth during that time period."

"It is kind of hard to say this," Mercedes hesitated pushing her hair out of her face before she spoke. "Quinn didn't seem all that interested in Beth. She rarely held her or played with her, she was always so quick to pass her off to someone else. It almost seemed like she was annoyed by her presence. It was very strange, because I was around her during her pregnancy and she was excited about having the baby."

"Can you give me some specific examples of this behavior?"

"At first it was subtle. People tend to gush over a newborn, asking to hold her and such, and Quinn would always let them. Which is fine in and of itself, but she seemed so reluctant to take her back. I think in the month that both of them were living with us, I took care of Beth more than she did. I would come in from the hospital and Quinn would be waiting for me by the kitchen door. She would claim she had to go get diapers or run some errand and she would shove Beth at me and leave. It sometimes would be hours before she returned. Don't get me wrong, I love Beth and I was happy to spend time with her, but I just found it a bit confusing that Quinn seemed like she wanted to get away from her or something."

"Did you ever witness Quinn neglecting the baby or drinking while taking care of her?"

"Does never responding when she cried count as neglect? It was either me or Beiste that got up with Beth in the middle of the night. Quinn didn't seem to hear her. There also was this one time that she left Beth home alone. I came in from the hospital and Beth was in the kitchen strapped in the carrier crying her eyes out. Quinn was nowhere to be found. I know there were other instances when she left her alone as well. I didn't witness those times so I can't really speak on them. As far as drinking, I never witnessed anything directly. But there was this time I received a call from Scandals. My husband's cousin Kurt's parents own the place, so they called the house to tell me that Quinn was there drunk. It was the middle of the day, and she was supposed to be home with Beth, while I went to work. So I had to get someone to cover my shift and stay with Beth the rest of the day. Quinn finally staggered in a few hours later reeking of booze."

"Did you ever report this to anyone?"

"Just my husband's mother, Sue Evans Sylvester. She was as concerned as I was about Beth. I figured she would know what to do. I wasn't really sure how to handle it. I didn't know she was getting treated for postpartum depression until much later. My first thoughts were just that she was a bad mother. But I realize now that she was ill."

"Where were you on the evening of December 9th?"

"I was working in the ER that night. I actually was there when they brought Beth in. I didn't know it was Beth at the time of course. All I knew was that it was a baby suffering from exposure."

"Before we talk about Beth's situation that evening, let's talk about Quinn. Were you there when Ms. Fabray was brought into the emergency room?"

"Yes I was. Puck came in carrying her, they both were soaking wet. Quinn was rushed to a room and Puck was examined in triage. I actually was his attending nurse."

"Did Mr. Puckerman say anything to you about what happened with Ms. Fabray?"

"Not really. He just said that he was worried because Quinn had fallen into the river. I remember asking him how she managed to do that, but he never really answered me."

"Were you also the nurse that attended to Beth Evans?"

"No I was not. She was immediately taken to intensive care. I didn't find out the baby was Beth until a few hours later. My supervisor, Cheryl Underwood, called me into her office. She was the one that told me the baby was in fact my stepdaughter. She also showed me the note that was pinned to her."

"I have a copy of that note right here," said the Judge as he sorted through the pile of papers in front of him. "I assume she showed the note to you because you and your husband were referenced in it."

"I think so. She told me that Beth was found in the middle of the woods and was probably left there for close to an hour. Her cheeks were frostbitten and her body temperature was very low. They feared she was hypothermic. I couldn't believe it." Tears blurred Mercedes' eyes as she remembered Beth that night. "I thought someone had maybe kidnapped Quinn and Beth, tried to do them harm. My husband is from a very powerful family, sometimes things happen. But when I found out it was Quinn that did it, I just couldn't believe it. How could anyone want to hurt something so precious?"

Wiping a few tears that had escaped from her cheeks she looked angrily over at Quinn. She could tell Quinn had been crying as well. Her nose was red and a few unshed tears were shining in her green eyes. Mercedes couldn't help but feel a little pleased that Quinn seemed to be reacting to what she had said. She wasn't trying to be malicious. She didn't want to deliberately upset Quinn, but at the same time she needed Quinn to know the true impact of her actions. She wasn't sure if any of this was real to Quinn, if she understood that Beth could have easily died that night, all because of her selfish behavior.

"I am going to read the note that was left with the baby aloud for the record," stated the Judge taking off his glasses and holding up a paper in his hands. "The note says,

Dear Sam,

Please take your daughter. You will do a much better job raising her than I ever could. Everything I touch just withers and dies. I need you to save Beth from me. You and Mercedes will give her a great life. I trust that. Be sure to tell her that I loved her, but I had to go.

Love you always, Quinn

This note was later turned over to the police as evidence and subsequently used to build the case against Ms. Fabray. How did it happen that you were awarded temporary custody of Beth and not her grandparents or some other blood relative?" asked Judge Leary adjusting his glasses back on the bridge of his nose.

"It all happened so quickly. It was either find someone to take the baby right away or have her put into the child welfare system. I couldn't let that happen, not even for a day. So I volunteered. I guess the court agreed because Beth was already living in the same household with me and I was actively involved in her care. Beth's grandparents are older with very busy careers. I guess the court thought I was a better choice."

"How is Beth since she has been in your care?"

"She's a wonderful little girl," Mercedes broke into a broad grin as she spoke. "She is in the 95th percentile for her age in height and weight, which is amazing because she was premature. She's a big baby that loves to eat and play. She's alert and already is trying to sit up independently. Sleeping is not really her thing, but we are working on that."

"So you have not seen any adverse reactions to her being left in the cold or to not having her mother around?"

"No your honor. She's a very happy, healthy baby that smiles all the time. The way her face lights up when I come into the room, it reminds me of her father." Mercedes smiled sadly as she imagined Sam holding Beth, with matching grins on their faces. If only she were able to make that image a reality.

"So in your opinion, would you say that Beth is better off now that her mother is not in her daily life?"

"Wow that is a hard question to answer. I mean obviously every child is better off with a mother. I had a horrible mother growing up and I'm very sure I suffered because of that. But with Beth, she always had a support system in place that made sure she was cared for even while Quinn was acting somewhat unstable. So I don't think she senses that much of a difference in her life now that Quinn is gone. I think Beth would be happy to have her mother back, and I also think she would still be just as happy without her. I'm the one that is having difficulty."

"How so?"

Mercedes sat back in her chair and took a deep breath. "I am scared by the idea of Beth being alone with Quinn. After she left her alone in the woods, I don't trust her."

Mercedes heard Quinn make a muffled noise at her seat. Quinn looked pale and had one hand over her mouth and her other gripped onto her lawyer. Mercedes straightened her back and gathered her courage. She had to see this through.

"Ms. Fabray is getting treatment for her PPD. Her doctors feel pretty confident that incidents such as that one will no longer occur. Doesn't that put your mind at ease?"

"Not really your honor. We're talking about the life of a child." Mercedes turned and looked Judge Leary directly in the eyes. "Can you just so casually put her back in the arms of a mother that tried to kill her?"

A hush fell over the courtroom at her words. Mercedes thought she even heard a gasp from Beiste, but she didn't dare look in that direction. She couldn't bear the disappointment she would inevitably see on her face. Mercedes knew Beiste would not agree with what she was saying. But there was no turning back now. Mercedes had finally found the courage to voice her fears. She felt liberated, she felt like she finally had come through for Beth and for Sam.

"Nothing about my decision is casual Mrs. Evans. Beth's welfare is first and foremost in my mind."

"In my mind as well. I can't shake the feeling that Quinn is a ticking time bomb. She may seem fine on the surface, I'm sure she even feels fine right now, but what happens if she snaps one day? Runs out of the house because she can't cope and leaves a pot on or something? What if this time she jumps into the river with Beth in her arms? Can you live with those questions on your conscience your honor? I know I can't. These thoughts have been keeping me up at night."

"You hateful bitch!" yelled Quinn as she bolted from her seat. Her lawyer tried to pull her back down, but Quinn was vigorously fought him off. She made her way around the table and headed in Mercedes' direction, tears streaming down her face. "She is trying to steal my baby your honor. She wants to keep Beth!"

"Order in this court! I ask that you take your seat Ms. Fabray and control yourself. Counselor handle your client," said Judge Leary, loudly banging his gavel on his desk for emphasis.

Quinn's lawyer rushed to her side, once again trying to pull her back to the table, but Quinn seemed determined. She was almost to the witness stand when a large baldheaded bailiff lifted Quinn clear off the floor. Her shoes hitting the ground as he picked her up.

"Put me down!" screamed Quinn. "I need the judge to understand. She told me! Last night she told me! She's stealing my baby! You've got to stop her!" Tears slurred Quinn's speech as she yelled. Her face was beet red and she was kicking and hitting at the bailiff almost hysterically, her dress rising up her thighs as she struggled. Mercedes just stared wide eyed in shocked horror.

"Get her out of this courtroom!" demanded Judge Leary.

"I'm going to tell Sam about this Mercedes! I'm going to tell him what you're doing. And he will hate you. He'll hate you forever when I tell him what you're doing to his baby!" screamed Quinn as the bailiff carried her toward the door.

Mercedes recoiled in horror at her words, every syllable feeling like a punch in the gut. "I am going to tell Sam! Sam will help me!"

The name 'Sam' echoed in Mercedes' ears as Quinn's hysterical screams faded out of the courtroom. All that remained were Quinn's pumps sadly scattered in the center of the courtroom. Mercedes stared at them with tear filled eyes, fighting the urge to throw up in her seat.

"Due to the disruption, court is adjourned for today. Mrs. Evans you are free to go. DA Brennan, Mr. Abrams may I speak with you in my chambers please?"

The judge was already out of the door before Mercedes even registered what he said. She was still haunted by Quinn's words. "Sam would hate her". Would he really hate her for protecting Beth? Mercedes wanted to believe he would understand, but Quinn seemed so adamant. Maybe she was right, maybe Sam would hate her for the things she said.

"Mercedes sweetheart." Mercedes turned toward the soft voice calling her name. Beiste was standing in front of her looking very upset.

"Did you hear what Quinn said? Did you hear her calling for Sam?" Tears ran down Mercedes's face as she spoke, the horror of just a few moments before replaying over and over in her mind.

"I'm more concerned about what you said Mercedes," said Beiste firmly.

"What did I say?" asked Mercedes in confusion.

"On the stand. Do you realize what you did to Quinn up there? You might have made it a whole lot harder on her."

"I didn't do anything but tell the truth."

"You couldn't have meant all that you said. You don't actually think that Quinn was trying to kill Beth?" asked Beiste in disbelief.

"She left her in the woods where no one would find her. That sounds like attempted murder to me."

"Mercedes! You need to stop this right now. If you're trying to take out your anger over their affair here in this courtroom, I will be so disappointed in you. This should have been all about Beth."

"I was thinking about Beth! I don't care about their stupid fling. I don't want that little girl hurt, or abandoned, or abused. I don't want her to go through any of the things I had to. And I'm going to see to it she doesn't. I'm sorry you don't approve of me right now Beiste, but I'm not going to apologize and I'm not going to take anything back. Parents have the power to damage their children. I'm living proof of that. Quinn could really hurt Beth, she did it before and I don't trust her not to do it again."

"I couldn't agree with you more," chimed in Sue as she joined them at the witness stand. "I thought Mercedes was very brave up there. You stood up for my granddaughter, and I want to thank you for that."

"Get real Kate! You don't care about Beth, you just want to stick it to Quinn," huffed Beiste.

"My distaste for Quinn Fabray has nothing to do with what is right for my granddaughter. Not even you can argue that Quinn didn't put Beth in serious danger when she had her in her care. Mercedes just stated what we all were feeling, if we were honest with ourselves."

"Where's Beth now?' asked Mercedes.

"I left her at the house with Kurt and Sugar since I was unexpectedly called to court," answered Beiste.

"I need to go see her," said Mercedes getting up from her seat and stepping down onto the floor with Sue and Beiste.

"I'm not done talking to you young lady," said Beiste sternly with one hand on her hip.

"I could ring my son's neck," growled Dwight as he suddenly appeared. "I just want to grab him and shake him. How could he do this? An Evans man doesn't shrink away from his responsibilities like this," Dwight pumped his fist in the air violently as he spoke. "He has one crazy woman screaming bloody murder and another taking care of his daughter and holding his life together. He should be here to handle this chaos he created himself. I just want to throttle him. I just – " Dwight shook his head in disgust, unable to find the words to continue. Mercedes had never seen Dwight this upset, he was visibly shaking and tiny veins were popping out all over his forehead.

"I think I should see you home," said Beiste gently as she took Dwight's hand. "He's my ride. So we are going to go. But this is not over," she added turning to Mercedes. "I will talk to you at home."

"Beiste, I can't see that there is anything left to say. I just really need to go and see Beth right now. I need to hug her and make sure she is all right."

Mercedes brushed past Dwight and Beiste as she made her way down the aisle toward Julian. Her father would take her home. He would understand what she needed. Julian was waiting at the end of the aisle a few feet from the double doors leading to the corridor, watching her approach.

"Are you ready to go?" Julian asked as he pulled Mercedes into his arms.

Mercedes nodded in response as she burrowed into his shoulder, thankful that there was someone in the world that would always be there for her. In the blink of an eye she had found unconditional love in the form of her father. Now in another blink, it seemed she would have to be the one to give that same unconditional love to Beth. She prayed she was up to the challenge, because it didn't seem like either of Beth's parents were going to be around to do the job.


	15. Chapter 15

**KURTCEDES!**

**Chapter 15**

Mercedes came in through the kitchen door, shrugging off her coat as she closed the door behind her. She noticed Kurt Hummel digging through the refrigerator, his favorite pastime whenever he was at her house.

"You're back early," said Kurt closing the refrigerator door when he noticed Mercedes enter the room. "It's not even noon yet," he said placing the bottle of water he just retrieved from the fridge on the counter.

"Court got out early because Quinn lost it," said Mercedes as she flipped through the pile of mail on the desk in the kitchen.

More applications for preschool had arrived. Sue had been at it again. Getting Beth into the best preschool was Sue's current obsession. Didn't matter that Beth was only 4 months old and hadn't even mastered the fine art of sitting up, to Sue she was already a genius.

"Seriously?" Kurt ran his hands through his wavy dark brown hair in disbelief.

"Yep. She had a full meltdown, jumped out of her chair, charged the stand," explained Mercedes walking over to Kurt at the counter. "I think she would have wrapped her hands around my neck if she had gotten the chance."

"I can't believe it. I knew I should have gone to court. Something good finally happens in this town and I miss it."

"I wouldn't call this good. She's probably gonna end up committed after this stunt."

Mercedes still hadn't gotten over what had happened in court today, Quinn's screams for Sam still on instant replay in her mind.

"So what does that mean for Beth?" asked Kurt taking a sip of water.

"I don't know. Where is she now anyway?" asked Mercedes looking around. "Upstairs with Sugar?"

"Sugar had to leave. Her mom called about something. So it was just us divas chilaxing, watching some TV. I just put her down for a nap."

"What were you watching? Home Shopping Network? I have found she likes that almost as much as infomercials."

She didn't have that much experience with kids, actually she had no experience with kids, but she had read a lot, and not one baby book mentioned that a baby could enjoy watching infomercials. In fact, Mercedes was sure most baby experts would discourage the activity all together, in fear of developing a young mind into a compulsive shopper. But they made Beth smile and more importantly they made her sleep, so Mercedes was willing to take the chance.

"Nope I got her a little gift," Kurt said happily holding up the dvd cover to show Mercedes.

"Yes, My Baby Can Read," read Mercedes slowly. "Kurt you didn't actually buy this?"

"Sure did. Came yesterday, and I couldn't wait to show it to the little diva. My cousin is going to be the brightest kid in pre-school."

"This doesn't actually work though. It has to be a scam."

"Don't be so quick to scoff. There are plenty of testimonials on the web."

"Right because everything we read on the internet is true."

"Have a little faith girl. Beth is going to be reading chapter books by the time she is a year old, trust me."

"Okay", she laughed. "So how did she do?"

"She giggled and cooed through the opening intro and then two minutes in she was out like a light. But I'm not discouraged. It is a process. Every time I babysit we will do a little more."

"I think you should leave the dvd here, so I can work with her too."

"Really?" asked Kurt his blue eyes wide with excitement.

"Yeah anything that can put her to sleep in two minutes is a keeper."

"Ha ha very funny. So do you need me to stay longer? Don't you have class today?"

"Yep at 2, and we have an exam, but I'd like to spend a little time with Beth first."

"Are you sure? I can stay. You might want to catch a nap before your class and aren't you working tonight?"

"7 to 7. I'll be fine," she said pulling her hair up off her neck and twisting it into a knot and clipping it with a barrette. "I'm used to running on fumes. Besides Beth may sleep for a bit and I can catch a few minutes myself."

"Ok Cede, I'll see ya later. Text me if you need me, or if Quinn has another breakdown. I will rush right over, I don't want to miss it again," grinned Kurt as he put on his coat.

"You're awful mocking her pain," chuckled Mercedes.

Kurt never pretended that Quinn was his favorite person. That was one of the things she liked about him, and probably what bonded them as friends. Kurt told her he couldn't understand how she had managed to wreck so many lives in such a short time. Kurt had repeatedly said that while he hoped Quinn recovered, he didn't like the idea of her now being a permanent part of his family because of Beth. He had heard too many horror stories about her. Mercedes felt like Kurt may be the only person she could be totally honest with because of that. She guessed she owed Puck for bringing Kurt around.

Puck had suggested that Kurt spend time with Mercedes after the accident. She guessed she had spent too much time in bed staring at the walls, for Puck's liking, so he scheduled a play date for her and Kurt. Kurt arrived the next day with a pint of rocky road Haagen Daz ice cream in one hand and Dawson's Creek the complete series in the other. He said everything could be fixed by watching 90s TV and eating ice cream. Needless to say Mercedes fell in love instantly and completely. Five hours later, Puck came by to check on how his matchmaking panned out, only to find both Kurt and Mercedes curled up in the bed watching Pacey Witter make out with his teacher, Miss Jacobs. Poor Puck was not pleased.

By the time they got through season 3 of the dvds, Mercedes and Kurt had both made it out of the bed. They started spending time outside of the house, at Breadstix, at the Lima Bean, Kurt had somehow become one of her best friends. Now they talked almost every day and often ran into each other on campus. As the months passed they made it through Dawson's Creek, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Popular and were currently working through Felicity. Her long schedule at the hospital left her exhausted with very little free time, but Kurt always managed to make her squeeze in time for fun. Even if that fun was only a dvd and some snacks. Now that she had Beth full time, their time was more limited, but lucky for her, Kurt had another hidden talent. He was great with kids. Apparently, Kurt Hummel was the most sought after babysitter in Lima.

"Stuck in a boring small town, I've got to take action where I can find it. I'm a desperate man," he joked.

"Maybe if you went out and got yourself a date, you would have less time to immerse yourself in local gossip."

"You do have a point. I seriously need a man in my life. But give up gossip – never." He threw her a quick kiss over his shoulder as he left.

Mercedes looked around the now empty kitchen, suddenly exhausted. Maybe she would try to get some rest before her exam. She headed out of the kitchen to check on Beth before taking a nap.


	16. Chapter 16

Thanks for reading and commenting!

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><p><strong>Chapter 16<strong>

Artie paced the floor in front of Quinn in the visiting room of the psychiatric ward of the Lima University hospital. His silence agitated Quinn as he would stop every few steps turn and glare at her, not saying a word, and then resume walking back and forth.

"So are you really crazy or what yo? I need to know," he finally said.

He stood directly in front of Quinn where she was slouched forward in her chair, elbows on her knees, hands on her chin. She tapped her bare feet on the cold floor, oddly fascinated by the sound they made as they hit the tile.

"How can you ask me that?" she asked blandly. They had given her something. Although she felt anxious and edgy somewhere deep down, there seemed to be a buffer preventing her from displaying those emotions.

After they brought her back to the hospital from the courthouse, the aides carried her to a bed and strapped her down, even though she had long since calmed down. In fact, Quinn had stopped kicking and screaming the moment the cold air hit her in the face. It was then she realized, that she might have done something really stupid. Nevertheless, the staff of the hospital seemed to still think she was a threat so they strapped her down, and shot her full of some drugs. Quinn guessed making a bailiff black and blue was enough to warrant such treatment.

"Let's see. That little performance you gave in court didn't scream sane to me. I thought we agreed calm and collected."

"I know that but Mercedes is trying to steal my baby. I had to do something." She sat up as she explained, eager to make him understand.

"Newsflash Quinn, Mercedes already has your baby. She doesn't need to steal her, she has temporary custody."

His tone was laced with sarcasm, which surprised Quinn. Artie had always been so sweet to her before. Not that she had known Artie for very long, but from the little bit she had seen, he had always been kind and even keeled. She guessed even he had his limits.

"She wants me stuck in here forever so she can raise her herself," she sniffled, the tears starting to well up again.

"Devil's advocate here for a moment," said Artie pulling up a chair next to her. "Let's just say that you are right and Mercedes Evans is out to get you and keep your baby. How does going after her like a lunatic in the middle of court help your cause? You do know that you gave her tons of ammunition against you today. She won't even have to lift a finger to keep Beth now."

"I was trying to save my daughter." She was crying now. They definitely had given her something strong, Quinn never cried this easily.

"Time for a wake up call Quinn. Everyone in this town thinks you're a wacko."

"Why are you being so cruel?" Quinn looked at him shocked. She couldn't believe what he was saying.

"They think you're a selfish woman with loose morals that decided to chuck her baby in the woods because she didn't have the father she wanted. You know this right? This is what they are all saying about you."

"Why are you telling me this?" She fought through her drug induced haze, as the anger started to build. She wanted to yell at him but the drugs wouldn't let her.

"Because I need you to get real Quinn. Snap out of it and wake the hell up!" he yelled. "You just lost everything today. After they dragged you out of the courtroom, I met with the judge. He wants to have you moved immediately to the State Psychiatric facility. He doesn't think you are mentally competent."

"No he can't do that. I'll never get to see Beth." She knew she sounded less concerned than she felt. Her voice had this weird flatness that made her sound almost like a machine. Quinn hoped Artie realized how upset she was, but she just couldn't express it.

"Yes he can do that and you helped him today. You proved beyond any doubts that you are unstable."

Artie was up on his feet again, pacing. His hair was a rumbled mess from all the times he had been running his hands through it in frustration.

"You've got to help me Artie, you can't let them lock me up." She was crying again.

"I tried to help you today Quinn. I offered to be your personal stress ball, I tried to keep you calm, but you ignored everything I said. I can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped."

"I do want your help."

"That's bullshit Quinn," he almost yelled stopping to face her. His face was reddening in anger. "I think you would rather be here in this little insulated bubble, surrounded by your pictures and your music, where you don't have to deal with reality."

"That's not true. I hate it here."

Quinn detested this place. The yellow walls, the eyes constantly on her, it felt like no thought was truly her own with all the drugs they were giving her. It was an awful feeling to be in a place where she had no control over her own life.

"I'm not buying it. They give you three square meals. They block out all the hate from the outside world. No papers or television in here. You can sit around and look at pictures. Whine about missing your baby, but don't have to actually take care of her. Because that is what you hated wasn't it Quinn? The daily monotonous grind of a baby?"

And then there was Beth. She haunted her here. Sometimes she would wake, hearing her crying, but she was nowhere to be found. Her baby was out there somewhere and she couldn't get to her. It was hell, pure and simple. Artie couldn't understand.

"How dare you judge me! You don't know me," yelled Quinn jumping to her feet. She finally was feeling something again.

"I think you're pretty easy to figure out. A beautiful woman with a string of rich exes. Love em and leave em right?"

"You can go to hell. I don't have to take this crap from you." She crossed her arms over her chest in disgust. "And for the record you arrogant jackass, I'm not crazy. I have postpartum depression."

"Where was this fighting spirit today in court? You might have actually saved yourself. Instead you let the words of a rather mannish blond woman and a little girl throw you off your game. I guess everyone was right when they warned me that taking on your case was a lost cause. I shouldn't have wasted my time."

"I need someone that is going to help me, be on my side. Not someone that's just going to write me off."

She could tell he was fighting a smile, which made Quinn even more annoyed. Was this jerk playing her, pulling some reverse psychology crap? She got enough psychobabble to last a lifetime from the doctors at the hospital. She didn't have time to play games with some inexperienced lawyer. Quinn had more important things to handle.

"I am on your side Quinn. Why do you think you're not being shipped off upstate at this very moment? I convinced the judge to allow you to stay here at the hospital for another week to be re-evaluated."

"You did?" she asked skeptically.

"I told you, I'm all about winning. And I'm definitely not going to let the Evans' and their influence get you put away. I don't like how Dwight Evans thinks he can use his money to bully women and children."

"I thought you said you didn't know Dwight," said Quinn suspiciously.

"Quinn, listen to me." He grabbed her by the arms and pulled her around to face him. Bending down slightly to catch her eyes he continued. "Never lose it like that again, not if you ever want Beth back. If you're not willing to do whatever it takes then you need to find yourself a new lawyer." Artie let go of her and turned to leave. "Get some rest, I'll be back later, that is if you still want my help."

"I do," said Quinn softly, not quite meeting his eyes.

"Good."

And then he was gone.

She looked around at the empty waiting room, suddenly chilled, she rubbed her hands up and down her arms as she slowly made her way back to her room. Could she really end up in a place like this forever? Maybe she was a lost cause.

Her one chance at freedom was completely destroyed today, by her own actions. How could she attempt to save Beth from Mercedes, when she couldn't even save herself?


	17. Chapter 17

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><p>Chapter 17<p>

Quinn stared blankly at the pale yellow walls that surrounded her in her room. Her twin sized bed creaked as she flipped over on her back to stare at the ceiling instead. It at least was white. The dull ache behind her temples was starting to increase, after all the crying she had done the past few hours. She had tried to sleep, but her mind wouldn't let her. Every time she closed her eyes she saw an instant replay of herself in court that morning. Except in the version playing inside her head, she actually managed to get her hands on Mercedes, pummeling the girl until she handed over Beth.

Hearing movement at her door, Quinn turned her head in that direction. A tall skinny man of about twenty-five appeared in the doorway. His long brown hair was slicked back into a tight ponytail further exaggerating the size of his already large forehead.

"Hi," he said tentatively as he hovered by the door with a mug in his hand. "Ms. Fabray?"

It was Jim, an aide that worked on her wing. He was pleasant enough, always had a smile for Quinn, but he was very shy. Whenever Quinn even attempted to speak to him he always looked at his feet. But at least he was one of the nice ones. Not like the other aides that shoved her and threw her meals at her like she was scum. Quinn often wondered what type of screening the hospital did to find the people to do these jobs. They definitely were lacking people skills. Maybe that was why Mercedes used to be one. She could be just as condescending and nasty as the other aides Quinn had encountered.

"Jim," she said groggily sitting up in the center of her bed. "Call me Quinn. I keep telling you that."

"I know. Sorry," he said ducking his head shyly. "I brought you something." He came in and rested a mug on her bedside table, then quickly retreated back to his former position in the doorway. "It's hot cocoa."

"That's so nice, but I didn't ask for any," said Quinn picking up the steaming mug and peering inside. It had mini marshmallows floating on top, just the way she liked it.

"Well it's for you. You looked so sad when they brought you in. I sort of heard about what happened today," he said slowly as if he wasn't sure he should bring up the subject.

"I bet everyone did by now." News travelled like wildfire in Lima. Quinn figured the Gazette had a late edition planned just to announce her latest stupid move.

"Yeah," he said softly. "My mom always said a good cup of cocoa soothes the soul. So drink up. Doctor's orders."

She smiled at the shy man as she sipped her hot cocoa. "Thank you for this."

"No thanks necessary, I'm just the delivery guy. Oh I forgot to mention, someone's here to see you."

"Who?" Quinn asked nervously trying to straighten her hair and her clothes. She tugged at the pale blue camisole she was wearing, trying to hide the skin that was peeking through where her cami met the waistband of her terrycloth lounge pants.

"It's me, Quinn," said Puck popping his head around Jim to make his presence known. "I thought you were going to come back and get me, man."

"Sorry, sir. I was talking to Ms. Fabray. I mean Quinn." Jim disappeared as suddenly as he arrived, looking a bit uncomfortable at the intrusion by Puck.

"What are you doing here Puck?" asked Quinn surprised to see him.

"I came to bring you these." He took her pumps out of the reusable grocery bag he was carrying and held them up.

"My shoes. Thank you."

"You sort of forgot them today."

"Don't remind me. I just want to curl up and hide after what I did. I can't believe how out of control I was," she said sulkily bringing her knees up to her chest.

"Yeah well you had your reasons. Couldn't have been easy hearing all that stuff," said Puck taking a seat next to her on the bed.

"Stop making excuses for me Puck. I blew it. Artie already told me that the judge wants to have me locked up for good at the state mental hospital."

"Burt mentioned that to me. But hey, we've got a week to prove him wrong. So things will turn out just fine," said Puck rubbing his hand over the top of Quinn's head affectionately.

"Maybe if I am fitted with a muzzle," said Quinn dejectedly.

"So uh Quinn," he hesitated. "The things you were saying, about Mercedes. You don't really believe what you said, do you?"

"She came to visit me last night and she pretty much told me she would keep Beth away from me."

"I can't buy that Quinn. I know Mercedes, she would never do that to her."

"She would if she thought Beth were better off with her. I think Mercedes wants to keep her. Her way of sticking it to me and Sam," she said flopping back on the bed, to once again stare at the ceiling.

"Cede would never use a child like that. Not after all she has been through."

"I know she's your friend, Puck, but I don't think you know her as well as you think you do. People do strange things when they're pushed to the limits. Look at me."

"I'm going to go talk to her." He stood up and walked over to the window. "I'll make her come here and tell you that you're wrong. I'm telling you that she wants what's best for Beth."

"I think she wants what's best for Beth too. I have never doubted that. I just think what she thinks is best is raising her as her own daughter. She wants me out of the picture."

"She's twenty years old. Why would she want to become a single mother?"

"She is little Sam!" exclaimed Quinn sitting up to face Puck. "She can still live out her fantasies if she has her."

"You're wrong Quinn. She's not trying to hang onto some delusion by using a baby. That just wouldn't happen," he said shaking his head. "Mercedes and Sam may be complicated, but she's not - "

"Crazy," interrupted Quinn. "Finish what you were going to say. Mercedes is not crazy like me right?"

"You know I don't think you're crazy. You need to calm down." He sat back on the bed and put his arm around her.

"I can't calm down Puck. She is trying to steal my daughter and no one believes me." She rested her head on his shoulder as he rubbed her back.

"What did your lawyer say about all this?"

"He wants me to keep it together. He said I can't play into Mercedes and Sue's plans," she sniffled. The tears were starting to well up again as she thought about what could happen if she were to be shipped off to the state hospital. It was almost three hours away, no one would trek up there to see her. Quinn would be truly alone if the judge's ruling was upheld.

"So he believes you?" asked Puck clearly surprised.

"I'm not sure. Sometimes it feels like he is the only one that does, and other times it is like he's just saying what I want to hear. I don't know what to trust."

"Definitely trust him about keeping it together. You're not that emotional Quinn, what happened in there?"

"It almost felt like I was watching someone else do it, like out of body. Maybe this is the real me now, I haven't felt right in so long. I don't know who I am anymore."

"Don't talk like that," he said turning Quinn to face him "You are the same wonderful, smart, loving, beautiful woman that I fell in love with all those years ago. This is just a bump in the road."

"You're so sweet, Puck." She ran her hand over his close shaved head, momentarily missing the mohawk he had worn so many years of his life.

"I'm not being sweet, I'm being honest. It's killing me that I can't help you better. All the money my family has and it hasn't helped a damn in getting you back to Beth."

"That's probably because Dwight doesn't want it to help."

"Even Uncle Dwight doesn't want to see Beth grow up without a mother."

"True, but Beth will have a mom, one with his seal of approval stamped on her forehead, sweet little Mercedes."

"I really hope Uncle Dwight hasn't done anything to make things worse for you."

Quinn laughed to herself at Puck's naiveté. He was always quick to find the good in someone, even his sadistic uncle, Dwight Evans. Quinn wouldn't put it past Dwight to deliberately sabotage her case, just to keep her out of Beth's life.

"I'm starting to think the only one that can stop all of this is Sam," said Quinn as she stood up and walked over to her dresser. She looked in the mirror. Her eyes were bloodshot and her nose was red and raw from all the crying.

"Quinn we don't even know for sure that Dwight is doing anything underhanded."

Behind her picture of Puck, and the one of her parents in the gold frame and numerous ones of Beth, was a small photo of Sam. It was from prom. Just him alone looking young and very blond in his tux.

"Not only Dwight, but Sue, and most of all Mercedes," she said clutching the photo to her chest as she rejoined Puck on the bed. "Sam is the only one that could put them all in their place, and save our baby."

"Maybe you should get some rest Quinn, you look tired."

Quinn knew Puck didn't like her bringing up Sam, no one really did. They wanted her to focus on the here and now, on things that were real, that she could control. More than ever Quinn was convinced that Sam may be her only hope. She allowed Puck to change the subject, but nothing he could ever say would change her mind on that point.

"I think you're right," said Quinn playing along to appease Puck. "I'm going to lie down for a while. Thanks for going through the trouble of bringing me back my shoes. You could have just left them with Santana."

"No trouble, it gave me a chance to see you again." He leaned over and kissed Quinn on the forehead. "I'll stop by tomorrow."

"Sure. See ya Puck."

Quinn watched as Puck shut her door behind him, her mind racing. Sleep was the last thing she was going to do. It was time for her to start taking action, if no one was going to see Mercedes for the threat she was, then Quinn had to take matters into her own hands. She just needed a little help. Quinn sat up and grabbed her jacket from the chair next to her bed. She slipped on her UGGs and made her way to the door, peeking out to make sure the coast was clear.


	18. Chapter 18

_Thanks for reading and commenting. I love hearing thoughts and theories, so feel free to share._

_Should we see where Beth lives?_

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><p><strong>Chapter 18<strong>

Two doors down the hall on the right, across from the bathroom, was the room where Beth lived. Mercedes pushed open the slightly ajar door fully, and tiptoed inside. She tried to keep her steps light, fearful of rousing Beth, from her highly elusive nap. Her heels clicking on the hardwood floors as she stepped, she made her way to the crib. She looked down to see Beth staring up at her, a smile graced her face as she focused on her above him.

"Hey there little girl. What are you doing up?" she asked rubbing her tummy. Beth squirmed under her hand, displaying her gums. "Did you play a trick on your cousin Kurt? Did you pretend to be napping so he would turn that silly dvd off?"

She lifted her from the crib and cradled her in her arms, snuggling her close to her chest. Mercedes walked across the room to the mahogany changing table and laid Beth down.

"Did you have a fun morning?" she asked her in a soothing voice. With one hand on her belly to hold her steady, she pulled a diaper, wipes, and a clean romper from the drawers below.

The room was painted pale pink. Mahogany furniture modern and antique intermingled giving the space a definite classic touch. There was a changing table, the old wooden rocker that Beiste had given Quinn, wide shelves filled with books, toys and pictures covered one wall. And bears. Stuffed bears piled in the corner, like a cuddly modern sculpture.

Beth had more bears than any little girl could ever need. Even after donating close to fifty to the children's' wing at the hospital, Beth still had amassed a huge collection. It was the town's way of embracing the baby left in the woods. Once the story broke that Beth Evans had been left alone in the cold, the bears started pouring in. It seemed like hundreds were sent, arriving daily with cards and balloons. So many people reached out to her. Mercedes began to tear up thinking about it. Beth was one well loved little girl. Everyone seemed to care. She was surrounded by loving hearts. Except for the hearts she needed the most. A million bears couldn't change the fact that Beth didn't have her parents with heri.

Mercedes opened the little refrigerator under the window and took out a bottle of formula. Beth was already leaning forward toward the bottle in her hand, anxious for her next meal. Mercedes placed the bottle in the warmer before taking a seat in the rocking chair.

She gently stroked her head as she spoke. "I know I told you that your mommy might be coming to see you today. But it turns out she can't." Mercedes paused kissing her chubby little fingers as she reached for her mouth. "Something happened and she needs a little more time to rest. But just because she's not here doesn't mean she loves you any less. I know she is thinking about you and missing you right now. You're her sweet little princess."

She reached behind her and pulled a picture from the shelf. It was a photo of Sam and Quinn dressed in formalwear. He was in a classic black suit, she was wearing a pale blue gown, it was perhaps a few years old. Julian had given Mercedes the photo, suggesting Beth might like it in her room. Mercedes didn't question why Julian had picture of Sam and Quinn together, she was just touched that her dad actually was thinking of Beth. He tried so hard to block out her existence. Mercedes had hoped that if Beth had to stay with her for an extended period of time, Julian would warm up to her. She needed her father in her life, and she wanted to share with him all the joys she was getting to experience with Beth. She hoped the photo was a step in the right direction. There was a time when Julian loved Beth too; feelings like that just don't fade.

"Look Beth," the little girl turned up her bright green eyes at the sound of her voice. She put the picture in front of her where she could see it better. Beth reached out and touched the glass. "It's mommy and daddy. They're always here watching over you Beth." She reached out and touched the picture again. "Yes, mommy and daddy," Mercedes said again before setting the picture back on the shelf and rising from her seat.

"Okay sweet angel, are you ready to eat?" Mercedes shifted Beth to her opposite shoulder as she tested the warmth of her bottle. Beth kicked her feet excitedly, eager to get her food. It amused her how happy Beth was whenever food was nearby. If Quinn had chosen to breastfeed, she never would have kept a shirt on. Beth would have been all over her looking for her next meal. Not that Quinn was around to do it anyway, thought Mercedes, suddenly saddened by yet another thing that Beth didn't have.

She settled herself back in the rocker, and adjusted Beth so she could drink her bottle. She kicked off her shoes, and let her eyes slide closed, relishing the quiet, only the sound of Beth's hungry sips filling the room. She was exhausted. Not that she would ever admit that to anyone. A mask of youthful energy was her defense, to keep the questions at bay. If she let her guard slip for one moment, and reveal her insecurities, fears and constant fatigue, they would think she couldn't handle it. This life she had created, without Sam. She knew they thought she was too young and too inexperienced to take care of Beth and work and go to school. At the hospital she heard the hushed whispers as she passed. She knew they were talking about her, questioning her choices, her sanity. Mercedes didn't owe anyone any explanations. She chose to marry Sam for better or worse. That's what it was all about in her mind. The past year definitely was one long worse, but it's not like she got to choose. Stuff happens you deal with it. And she was dealing with it quite well, in her estimation. Others though, seemed quick to disagree. It was like they all were holding their collective breaths waiting for her to lose it. Mercedes didn't like being under such close scrutiny, as if people were willing her to fail. Perhaps they even had the room next to Quinn all ready for her to move in. Sam Evans' wife and his mistress side by side in the nut house. The media would have a field day with that one.

Mercedes opened her eyes when she felt Beth's little hand curl around her finger. She held onto it as she lazily drank from her bottle, her eyes starting to droop. "Looks like you're getting sleepy. Are you going to take a nap so Mercedes can get a little rest?" Her eyes snapped open as if she understood her suggestion. Her green eyes once again wide and alert as she continued to drink. "I think it's time for a story." She let her eyes close once again as she began.

"There once was a little princess named Beth Evans that lived in a castle amongst the stars. She had the most beautiful mother in all that land, Princess Quinn. She had a voice lovelier than any bird, clearer than any bell. Her father, Prince Sam was brave and handsome, a mighty warrior with a smile that rivaled the brightness of the sun. They all lived together in the castle with King Dwight. Until one day, disaster struck the kingdom, and little Beth had to leave her parents and her castle in the stars to stay safe. They nestled her in her magic carriage, wrapped in a blanket spun from gold, and sent her to the far edge of the kingdom to a little cottage covered in vines. The two fairies that lived in the cottage, one tall, the other short, took care of Beth and they danced, sang, and played all the day long. Mostly, Princess Beth was happy living at the cottage, but sometimes she was sad. She missed her mommy and daddy, the prince and princess. One day a package arrived at the cottage. A giant pink box covered in stars, with a big gold bow on top. Princess Beth was so excited by the box, it sparkled in the light, and seemed like it was made of magic. Inside there was a glass orb with a tiny castle inside. Beth held the glass ball in her hands, amazed at its beauty. Then she shook it and the ball glowed brightly. Little gold stars fell all around the castle in the glass ball, and there was music, more beautiful than any bird she had ever heard sing. It was her mommy's voice. This made Princess Beth very happy. Every time she felt sad, and missed her mommy and daddy, she could shake the glass ball and see her home and hear her mother's song."

Mercedes looked down to see Beth fighting sleep, her bottle partially out of her mouth, as she struggled to keep her eyes open. She took her bottle and put it on the small table beside her and then grabbed the large snow globe that was permanently displayed there. Beth was almost asleep, but Mercedes still shook up the globe and watched the little gold sparkles fall all around the tiny pink castle inside. She turned it over and hit the power button on the bottom before placing it back on the table. The snow globe lit up and started to play a song. "Lucky" It was one that Quinn used to sing. One of her favorites, Puck had told her when he first heard it.

It must have been fate that guided her toward it that night. She was in the store looking for a Christmas gift for her dad when she spotted it. The tiny pink castle surrounded by stars seemed perfect for Beth. Her big green eyes widened in wonder each time Mercedes shook the ball, surrounding the castle in gold, when she showed her the snow globe that night. It was then that she told Beth her story for the first time. It had become their daily ritual ever since.

She gently placed Beth on her back in her mahogany crib that stood proudly in the center of the room. Beth was the fourth generation of Evans children to sleep in this bed, according to Dwight. It had been passed down from first born to first born. It was simple in design, thick slats of wood with curved etching along each leg. The true beauty was in the posts. Tall broad posts, whittled from tree trunks, reaching almost to the ceiling graced all four corners of the bed, and at the top of each post was a gold star. Dwight insisted the stars were made from real gold. Nothing but the best for an Evans.

Beth curled her hand up to her mouth, as if she might suck her thumb. It seemed to be a habit of hers, since she now was doing it each time she slept. Mercedes took one last look at her, watching her chest rise and fall as she slept, before tiptoeing away. She let the music continue to play, as she gathered up her empty bottle and prepared to leave the room.

Mercedes wished she had a recording of Quinn's voice to play for Beth. Maybe hearing her mother sing her to sleep every night would become a source of comfort for her, especially as she got older. As much as Mercedes hated the idea of Beth living with Quinn again, she also wanted it for her at the same time. She didn't want Beth to grow up without Quinn. She didn't want her to be the only kid in kindergarten without a mommy. Mercedes had been that kid, growing up with a neglectful mother and an unknown father. She wouldn't wish it on anyone.

If it had to happen, and Quinn was locked away for years, Mercedes hoped that she could still be the one to raise Beth. A stepmom was better than no mom at all. Not that the courts would award her custody of Beth. Quinn's parents would surely contest it. And maybe Beth would be better off with blood relatives, instead of her makeshift family here with her and Beiste. She needed to be with people that looked like her and could tell her stories about her mom, keep her real for Beth. Mercedes had been trying to do that in the almost two months Beth had been with her. No matter how much she disliked Quinn, she wanted Beth to know her mom. The problem was Mercedes didn't even really know her. Puck would sometimes come over, fill in the gaps, but it wasn't the same. Beth needed to know more, things that only family could share.

The Evans side was a different matter. Beth was surrounded by them. Her constant visitors, they fought over babysitting rights, tried to outdo each other with gifts. They never ceased to find new ways to spoil her. Beth definitely was the little princess in her bedtime story.

Mercedes took every chance she could to tell Beth about her father. Numerous pictures of Sam were scattered around the nursery. She turned taking them all in, the clusters of photographs hanging on the wall by the changing table, the framed portraits positioned on the shelves behind the rocking chair, her favorite one, black and white, with a hint of a smile, eyes squinted from the sun, on the small table next to Beth's snow globe. She was surrounded by him. Sam at all of stages of his life, framed and on display, a prominent reminder to Beth of her parentage. She wanted Beth to know her father's face. She wanted her to feel like Sam had been with her all along. So when Sam walked back through that door, Beth would instantly love him.

Sue loved to tell stories about Sam. She would do voices and be extra animated as she talked and Beth's face would light up. She brought over old pictures to show her. She gave her some of Sam's old toys. Sue may be a manipulative bitch most of the time, but Mercedes couldn't deny she was an excellent grandmother. Even if Sue's almost constant presence sometimes wore on Mercedes's nerves, she understood Sue's need to be around. She missed Sam. They all did. Beth was the spitting image of her father as a baby, except for the eyes. Those were all Quinn. Sue and probably Dwight too, saw their son, whenever they looked into Beth's sweet face.

Mercedes definitely could understand.

She saw Sam too.


	19. Chapter 19

I can't respond to guest comments directly but I wanted to say that this story is about Sam, Mercedes, and Quinn - told from each of their POV. **Definitely this is a Samcedes fic - they are a married couple in this story**. Quinn and Sam have a relationship/history in this story as well as do Quinn and Puck. This is not an easy story, no smooth sailing for anyone, because at the heart of this story is infidelity, and that's naturally messy.

If you are a Sam and Mercedes fan you are rooting for them to find away to overcome all these complications and make their relationship solid again. I can't go into too much of this yet, because I will give something away...but trust that Sam and Mercedes are a HUGE part of this story.

Thanks to everyone for reading and commenting. Things are going to get bumpy...so everyone please hold tight.

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><p><strong>Chapter 19<strong>

"Is she sleeping?" asked Beiste watching Mercedes walk down the stairs, with the baby monitor and dirty bottle in her hands.

"Yeah I just put her down," said Mercedes as she joined Beiste on the couch, putting the items on the coffee table in front of her. "I still think we need to go back to using the video monitor."

"We were getting a bit obsessed with it I think. We would spend all our time just watching her sleep."

"I know but I worry. What if an intruder gets in or something?"

"Well the intruder would have to walk right by us to get up the stairs. Unless he is scaling the side of the house like a superhero."

"Stranger things have happened." Mercedes shrugged skeptically. "Did Dwight make it home okay? He seemed kind of upset."

"Yes. Figgins made him some tea. He complained the whole time, but I got him to drink it."

"You're so good with him. It's cute."

Beiste and Dwight had been spending an increased amount of time together the past year. Always quickly explaining their camaraderie as being the cordiality of inlaws. No one believed them, of course, they just all played along allowing them to exist in their bubble of denial.

"I think we have come to an understanding."

"Sam always said one of the best things about us getting married, besides the obvious of course, was that Dwight got to have you in his life."

"What a sweet thing for him to say."

"You know Sam thinks the world of you," Mercedes said smiling fondly.

"And I feel the same way about him. I feel so blessed that I had you both with me here in this house."

"I bet you didn't count on a baby though."

"No, wasn't expecting a baby in the house, but it truly has been lovely," said Beiste folding her hands in her lap.

She is such a little angel."

"Yes she is Mercedes. I'm sure Quinn misses her terribly."

"I was wondering when you were going to bring her up." Mercedes squirmed uneasily in her seat.

"I think we need to talk about what happened today," stated Beiste in a more serious tone.

"Beiste, I know I disappointed you, but I had to do what I thought was right. I owed it to Beth and to Sam."

Mercedes hated that she and Beiste weren't in agreement on this matter. She didn't want Beiste to think she was a bad person.

"I'm just concerned that you may be confusing what you want to be right with what is truly right."

"Quinn can't be allowed to hurt Beth again," insisted Mercedes.

"She's getting treatment. She has to be given another chance. She's her mother Mercedes."

"Just because she's her mother doesn't mean she can't do real damage. How can you sit there and try and convince me I'm wrong about this? You know all the things that Quinn has done to Beth."

"She had PPD. It wasn't her fault. Women can recover from this condition. You're a nurse. You know this."

"The PPD may go away, but what about the other stuff?"

"What other stuff?"

"Never mind." She hated keeping things from Beiste, but some things were better left unsaid.

"Tell me Mercedes," pressed Beiste.

"Beiste I really think I said too much. It doesn't matter anyway, you obviously have made up your mind. You think I can't take care of Beth. Don't you think I am doing a good job with her?"

"You're great with her. You'll be a wonderful mother someday, sweetheart. But Beth isn't yours."

A knot formed in her chest at Beiste's words. She loved Beth just as much as Quinn that had to count for something.

"She just might be after today."

"Why are you being like this? This is not you Mercedes. Where's your compassion?"

"I have tons of compassion, for Beth."

"What about for her mother?"

Truthfully, Mercedes didn't care all that much about Quinn. She tried not to even think about her. Except when it came to Beth. She would smile and pretend, make up stories about a beautiful princess, because no child deserved to live with the truth that their mother was a tad unhinged. If Mercedes had her way, Quinn Fabray would be out of her life for good. Every time she saw her face, she pictured her wrapped around her husband. It didn't matter that Quinn technically had him first. He loved her since high school, probably for years after. It was Mercedes that Sam made vows to, giving her his heart and his name. One look at Quinn and she was reminded how it was all taken away. But for Beth, Mercedes swallowed her resentment and tried to find some good in Quinn.

"Did you know my mother let me believe my father was dead all these years? Keisha always told me he died when I was a baby, and for so long I wasn't even sure if he ever existed. I'd never seen a picture and I had no memory of him."

"That's very sad," said Beiste gently.

"As far as I know there are no pictures of me under the age of six. I guess Keisha never bothered to take any until she needed them. You see sometimes the men needed a visual aid before they accepted their payment."

"You were six?" she asked, a look of horror crossing her face.

"She made me wear this red fluffy dress. It had all these ruffles, white tights, black shoes," Mercedes continued unable to meet Beiste's eyes. "My hair was all in spiral curls. You see this particular man had a thing for little black girls. We went to this fancy hotel. Keisha said we were going for cake and ice cream. Instead we ended up in a hotel suite with this balding man in glasses. He wanted me to sit on his lap or something. I remember being so scared that I ran and hid under a couch the whole time. It took them hours to coax me out."

"Oh Mercedes." Beiste held her close, tears shining in her eyes. Mercedes sat stiffly in her arms as the terrible memories flooded in.

"Keisha was furious after that stunt. She made sure I learned my lesson after that. Only time she had to resort to violence. I'm a quick learner. No more hiding." Mercedes got up and walked to the window, picking at the beaded tieback on the curtain. "The first time she left me alone with one of them I was ten. After the man was done, he locked me in the apartment in the dark, to wait for Keisha to come back. I was scared of the dark. I pounded on the door and screamed for help, but no one would hear me. I screamed for so long, I lost my voice."

Mercedes had never told anyone that story before, not even Sam, and Sam knew pretty much everything about her past. She couldn't bear him knowing that her first time was so young. He would really see how unworthy she was of him, and he never would have loved her.

She preferred to imagine that night with Sam as her first time. The way he looked at her, the things he said, the feel of his lips as he kissed her gently, the warm summer breeze tickling her skin. He had made her feel so wanted and so very cherished, as if she were the only woman in the world he wanted to be with.

The motel was a bit nasty and the sheets were rough, but Mercedes still could remember how his eyes looked in the shadows of moonlight that slipped through the curtains. Sam was so nervous about bringing her to that place when he could afford so much more. When she shrugged it off and assured him she didn't care where they were as long as she was with him, he relaxed and admitted that once that cheap motel had been his home, and that sometimes he came back there and rented a room just to lie across the bed and stare up at the water stained ceiling and remember back to the time when he had nothing, but felt the most like himself. Mercedes remembered standing there watching him, feeling like he was stripping for her, peeling off the layers he wore to be Sam Evans, corporate mogul and eligible bachelor. All the ways Mercedes thought she knew Sam, the instinctual connection to him, the way she read him like a book, couldn't even compare to what he revealed in that moment. That night was the first time he ever truly let her see him. And he was so beautiful fully exposed in the moonlight.

It was the first time Mercedes had ever kept her eyes open during sex. At first she was just checking if he were real, if it indeed was truly happening, that she, Mercedes Jones was actually spending the night with Sam Evans. As he kissed and caressed, her body warmed by some fire within, she opened her eyes to watch him, to memorize what it felt like to be touched by someone that knew more than her name, by someone who actually cared. Mercedes finally came to understand the term "making love" that night. As he kissed every inch of her, never flinching away from her rolls of extra flesh that she usually tried to hide under clothes and mood lighting and held her so tightly at times she felt like they were one being, she wrapped herself in him, relishing his scent, his taste, his touch, never wanting him to let her go. Always wanting to feel that safe.

Even after things came to a messy end the very next day, her heart shattered, her wishes left ungranted, Mercedes still knew that one part of her would never change.

She would always love this man.

"Mercedes that's awful. Keisha had no right to do that to you. She was a monster. But Quinn would never hurt Beth in that way."

She unfolded herself from the past and wiped at the tears falling down her cheeks.

"She already left her alone in the dark once." How long did Beth have to scream until someone heard her?

"Oh sweetheart, it's not the same. I promise you that nothing will happen to Beth, we won't let it."

"You just want me to get over it. As if it were no big deal, like she forgot to pick her up from daycare or something. I promised Sam I would take care of his daughter. I already let her down so much. I can't risk anything else," she said turning toward Beiste.

"I don't like to see you hurting yourself like this Mercedes. Hoping for things that can never be. I think it's time you let go and move on."

"You want me to turn my back on Beth?"

She couldn't believe how everyone seemed to believe it would be such a simple thing, just to walk away. Beth had quickly become a huge part of her life, just like her father.

"I will be happy to take on more with her, so that you can get on with your life. Wouldn't it be nice to go to school full time? Or to travel?"

"Shane said something similar to me the other day."

"He's worried about you. As am I. And Puck and your father."

"You've all been talking about me behind my back?" Her face grew hot in embarrassment at the thought of all the secret meetings her so called loved ones must have had about her. She knew they doubted her, but she had never realized it was to such a great extent.

"It's been nine months. It's like you've kept everything the same and now you're being the perfect stepmom to Beth. It feels like you are sitting around expecting Sam to walk through the door at any moment."

"It could happen. He promised me he would come back," she said softly.

"Oh Mercedes! You can't keep on like this. It's not healthy." Beiste rose to her feet in distress.

"I'm fine."

"You're so young pumpkin," her slight southern accent laced with pity. "You haven't even begun to explore all the possibilities life has to offer. Before the accident you were leaving Sam, planning a new life, but you haven't let yourself do any of those things. Shane told me about North Carolina."

"I can't go to North Carolina." As if running away would ever set her free.

"You could if you just let go."

"I made promises."

"Mercedes can you please be honest with me?"

"I am being honest."

"Look at me," she said grabbing Mercedes by the arms and turning her around. "Why can't you go to North Carolina? Why can't you move on?"

"I don't want to talk about this. I have to go to class," said Mercedes as she tried to struggle from Beiste's grasp.

"Tell me Mercedes." Beiste pleaded, still holding Mercedes firmly by the arms.

"Shane and I are not gonna work," she said looking at the floor, trying to hide her tears from Beiste.

She pushed past Beiste, escaping toward the stairs, her vision blurred with tears. Not looking where she was going she bumped into the end table, causing a picture frame to fall to the floor. Face up, covered in shattered glass, was Sam's smile. It was their wedding photo. She had broken the frame before, in a fit of anger over his infidelity. She had chucked the thing clear across the room, nicking the paint on the wall before it hit the hardwood floor in pieces. The frame had been replaced, the picture restored to its place on the end table. All the pictures had.

"Just say it Mercedes," said Beiste from across the room.

She stared down at the broken frame, her shoulders shaking as she sobbed. "I still love Sam," she finally said her words choked with tears.

Beiste came up behind her and took her in her arms.

"I love him so much Beiste, that it hurts," she said holding tightly to Beiste as she cried. "I've done everything to make it right. Graduated, kept all our plans, all the hospital stuff, took care of Beth. Why isn't it enough? Why won't he come back Beiste? I've tried everything."

"I know sweetheart," said Beiste as she wiped the tears from Mercedes' face with her hand.

"He promised we would never be over."

She eyed the shattered picture on the floor over Beiste's shoulder. Sam's face frozen, trapped behind shards of glass. It didn't seem possible that this could be the only way she would ever see him smile again.

"I know. Let it out."

"He said he would never leave." She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the tears to stop. "I miss him so much."

"Just let it all out," soothed Beiste.

As Beiste stroked her hair and held her close, she finally did.


	20. Chapter 20

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><p><strong>Chapter 20<strong>

It was dark in the hallway, energy conservation efforts by the hospital. The aides would be making their rounds soon to deliver meals to each patient. Quinn needed to get out of the ward undetected. She had done it numerous times before, but never this early. It would have been safer, not to mention wiser, to wait until after lights out to make her move, but Quinn was desperate. She had to go now. Beth was depending on her.

Walking quietly down the hall, she slipped into the ladies bathroom. So far no one had seen her. The bathroom was large like a locker room in high school. There was a row of sinks, stalls along the wall, and in the back there were showers. Quinn quickly went to the shower area, looking over her shoulder the whole way. At the very end of the row of showers, there was a door, labeled "STAFF ONLY". She twisted the handle to find it was once again left unlocked. Inside the dark closet, Quinn felt along the wall, brushing against mop handles, and shelves, until she felt another door. And just like that she was free. Sort of.

The door led to a corridor near the staff lounges and the doctors' on call rooms, but usually passing through that area was a breeze. It seemed no one on the hospital staff expected to see a patient roaming about that area. They assumed everyone they encountered actually belonged there. So Quinn always tried her best to blend in. She flipped the hood up over her head, put her hands in her pockets, and strolled down the hall like she owned the place.

It seemed like hours that Quinn had been crouched under the stairwell waiting for the activity in the hall to cease. Classes were changing at the Lima University Hospital nursing school, housed in the wing. Quinn had never ventured out of her room this early in the day, and the unexpected flow of people rattled her courage a bit. Tucked in the corner, she tried to focus on thinking of a way out. If only she had her phone, she could have called down to the desk to see if it was safe to come out. But here she was in the emergency stairwell, with a limited view of the hall just outside. There was no way she giving up and turning back, she couldn't let Beth down.

Growing up, there were many a night that Quinn had slipped out of the house. Eight years old and roaming the street after dark, her parents never noticed she was gone. At first it hurt that she didn't even matter enough to be missed if she were gone. Later it became a game she used to play with herself, becoming bolder with her means of escape, the thrill of outsmarting her parents and slipping out of the house right in their plain sight. She had learned to be invisible. That's when it came to her. Quinn had to make herself invisible again.

She felt around in her jacket pocket, praying she would find what she needed. She did, her glasses were there. Quinn had switched to contacts years ago, extended wear lenses so she could even sleep with them on. No one would have to see her in frames again. Once she got rid of her Lucy Caboosey existence, she didn't want anyone to remember her that way. The glasses became ancient history. Of course, she still owned a pair, she had to take her contacts out some time, and she couldn't see more than twelve inches in front of her face without them. Quickly formulating her plan, Quinn took out her contacts and tossed them to the floor. She put on her dark brown tortoise shell frames and pulled her hair out of the ponytail letting it fall all around her face. With a deep breath she opened the door to the hallway and stepped into the crowd. No one even looked her direction as she made her way through the nursing school corridor and into the main building of the hospital. She was almost there.

She contemplated breaking into a sprint. The door was in her sights, just a few nurses behind a desk in the way of her destination. Too close to fail now. Her heart raced from the adrenaline rush, she was going to get away with it. Invisible in plain sight, just as she had been as a child. One, two, three and she was off. Quinn briskly walked through the waiting area, past the nurses' station, eyes firmly on the door ahead. Two more feet. Her hand touched the door knob, she hesitated for a second, checking to see if she had been noticed out of the corner of her eye. Nothing. Turning the handle, she slowly opened the door, and stepped inside.

The room was almost completely dark, except for the light coming from a television mounted on the wall. An old movie was playing. Black and white. Casablanca. She would know it anywhere.

"Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine," Quinn said in unison with Bogart.

"So I made it," said Quinn her back pressed against the door, the knob firmly in her hand. "I had to creep all the way here, people were everywhere, but I actually did it."

She let go of the doorknob and slowly walked forward. "I know it was risky, and I need to stop taking crazy chances. And yes I need to think things through more, but I had no choice this time. Really. Beth needs me. Did you hear what happened in court today? I'm sure you did. I completely lost it. They had to drag me out of the place. But I just couldn't take it anymore. I'm not going to let her get away with this. She needs me to be crazy, so she can keep Beth. Drew said I played right into her hands."

She paused and looked up at the television, before taking a seat in the plush upholstered chair in the room. "I guess he might be right. I'm sure I looked certifiable. But he doesn't understand. I'm a mother. I have to protect her. No one was doing anything to help my baby. Everyone was just sitting in that courtroom letting Mercedes tell her lies and twist the facts. I had to stop her!"

"I came up with a plan. I'm going to go get Beth and run," she said excitedly. "Just leave Lima for good. I don't know where we're going, but definitely a place she can't get to us. But I'm not sure I can do it alone. A baby is hard work and what if I get a little sick again and do something. I need help keeping Beth safe, just in case." She paused and looked at the floor, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"I think you should come with us. It makes perfect sense. The three of us can just leave town and start a new life. Maybe somewhere warm. Change our names. Get jobs on the beach. I'm sure Beth will love the water. How would I look as a redhead? It could be perfect. So let's go."

She finally looked over at the bed in the center of the room at the silent body wearing blue plaid pajamas, tucked in tightly beneath beige sheets. Arms on top of the covers, free to move.

Her nose was running and her glasses smeared with tears, but Quinn didn't bother wiping them clean. Her lips trembled as she spoke, never taking her eyes off the bed. "I came all the way here to see you. No one understands me like you do. I'm so scared here all alone. They want to keep me locked up."

She leaned forward in the chair and grabbed his hand. It was cool and still beneath her palm. Tears flowed harder as she squeezed tighter, urging him to grasp it back. To lace his long fingers through hers and let her know he was there. That he would make it all better.

"We are supposed to be in this together," she said her voice sounding hoarse to her own ears. "Beth needs you so much. I need you."

Quinn stood up abruptly, shaking his arm vigorously, his body followed stiffly with her movements. "Sam please get up and let's go." She shook him again more urgently.

"Please just get up. Sam you've got to get up." She collapsed on his chest in tears.

Trembling she remained there, her head turned toward the TV, unable to look at his face in perpetual slumber. She focused again on Casablanca.

"Oh, I don't know what's right any longer. You have to think for both of us. For all of us," Quinn mouthed along with Ingrid Bergman.

Quinn stood up, wiping the tears beneath her glasses, before looking sadly down at Sam. His dirty blond hair was in cropped spikes about his head, his full pink lips in a relaxed line, barely a visible hint of the dimple that usually carved his face.

She caressed his cheek, before turning to go.

"Here's looking at you, kid," said Bogart in response from the TV.

She truly was on her own.


	21. Chapter 21

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><p><strong>Chapter 21<strong>

Mercedes pushed through the staff room door pulling her black hair up into a high bun as she walked. It was almost time for her shift to begin. Since she hadn't been to see Sam since the previous night, she wanted to spend a few extra minutes with him before she had to go to work.

Usually she liked to stop in during the morning to have breakfast with him. Before the accident it had been their routine to get up each morning and have breakfast, even if Mercedes were not scheduled to work until much later in the day. It was their little slice of time before the world came crashing in. Sam had a stressful job. He usually returned home in the evenings cranky and tense. So Mercedes had come up with the idea to start each day off with a smile. Sometimes that smile meant waffles and bacon or big bowls of Lucky Charms. Other times it meant a few rounds of breakfast in bed. It was something they never skipped, and Mercedes wasn't about to start now.

This morning she had been out of sorts. She just couldn't make it to the hospital without being late to the courthouse. And after enduring Quinn's verbal assault, Mercedes felt an overwhelming need to spend time with Beth, so she missed stopping by the hospital that afternoon as well. Hours later she was finally going to see Sam. Feeling more than a little guilty it had taken her so long, Mercedes finally reached Sam's room. She pushed open the door slightly leading with her shoulder, pausing when she heard Dwight's voice inside.

"My son I really missed you today. The Tamagatchi deal was up for renegotiations. The one you and Puck closed a couple of years back. They were playing hardball, but I didn't relent. Got them to agree to all of our terms. I wish you could have seen it." He paused, looking over at Sam motionless on the bed, sighing deeply before he began again.

"I guess we better get back to our story." Mercedes slipped a little more through the door as Dwight began to read, still careful not to startle him.

"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do," read Dwight.

Mercedes came fully inside and firmly shut the door behind her, alerting Dwight to her presence.

"Mercedes, I didn't know you would be here tonight." Dwight turned in his chair to address her.

"I just started my shift," she said as she walked over to the bed and kissed Sam on the forehead, stroking his hair back before she took a seat on the edge of the bed.

"I thought you had stopped working nights."

"My father wanted me to. He tried to rig my schedule. But I put a stop to it. I don't need any special favors."

"Nice to see a young person with a work ethic. I was starting to think that your entire generation was comprised solely of degenerates and slackers."

Mercedes rolled her eyes and smiled.

She leaned over and looked at the reader Dwight had in his hands. "What are you reading today?"

"To Kill A Mockingbird again. Couldn't get this contraption to pull anything else up. I wanted to read him some Faulkner, maybe A Rose for Emily."

"Didn't Beiste show you how to use that kindle when she gave it to you?" asked Mercedes taking the kindle from his hand. She clicked through it and found the book of short stories Dwight wanted and handed it back to him.

"It's just not natural to have all these books in one little machine. I miss pages. Nothing like the crackle of paper."

"Is Marcel getting dinner?" Mercedes asked suddenly noting the man's absence.

"I fired that blasted man today."

"Not another one. What happened this time?" she asked frowning.

"I came in here this evening to find my son in the dark with nothing but the TV blaring. Apparently Marcel had some emergency and had to leave. Should've never hired that Frenchman," snarled Dwight.

"He's actually from Belgium. Did you play the tape?"

"I didn't bother. I'll check the remote file on my computer at the house later."

Mercedes pulled Sam's chart from the foot of the bed and flipped through it. His vitals were steady and unchanged. "Everything seems fine maybe the nurses got too busy to come in and close the blinds and turn on the lights at sundown."

"I don't pay these people to be too busy. My son gets top priority or my support of this hospital will cease. This is why I want him at the house with me. Sam needs to be at home."

"Dwight we have talked about this. I'm here so often it's just easier. And what if something happened? It would waste precious time getting an ambulance out to the mansion. Here he's always surrounded by doctors."

They had debated this issue for months. Usually a patient in Sam's condition would have been moved to a long term care facility by now. Dwight's stance was definitely understandable. Mercedes just felt that Sam was better off at the hospital within reach of the finest physicians in the Midwest. Things could go wrong so suddenly. She knew that all too well since the accident. Just when you think you're safe, everything can change. She couldn't take any more sudden changes, not with Sam.

"The agency is sending a replacement tomorrow. Probably just as incompetent as all the rest," said Dwight.

At one point it seemed like they were going through a nurse a month. Dwight was never satisfied with Sam's care. Marcel had lasted the longest. Mercedes had thought they had finally found the right fit.

"I'm here until 7am. I promise you Sam will be fine."

"You look tired," Dwight noted.

"I had a TBI exam. Up late cramming." Mercedes rubbed Sam's thigh as she spoke watching him closely for any hint of a response.

"I wish you would just stop with those classes. You are wearing yourself out. I will continue to bring in every specialist in the world. You don't have to keep going to all these seminars and taking these courses."

"I need to know how to better take care of him. Traumatic brain injuries are tricky. I want to make sure I'm doing all I can."

"We can get more staff from the agency. You should not have to take care of this yourself."

"I want to." She shook her head and amended. "I need to. No agency nurse is going care about Sam's recovery as much as I do. Besides Sam knows me. I want him to feel safe and comfortable."

"If all of this gets to be too much the offer still stands." Dwight stood, patting Sam on the shoulder before heading toward the door.

Mercedes wanted to strangle Marcel. How could he just leave and not call her? She didn't want Dwight to know how upset she actually was, but she was glad he had fired him. Mercedes hated how people, even health care professionals, treated comatose patients like they were mannequins posed in a bed. Sam had rights and needs like anyone else. He didn't deserve to be left alone and unattended. Especially not in the dark.

"Mercedes shifted closer to Sam on the bed, her hip brushing his as she sat. "Looks like it's just me and you all night. What mischief should we get up to?" Sam slowly turned toward Mercedes, as if in response to her words.

"Oh you like that idea? You want to spend the night with me?" she asked reaching up and stroking his hair gently.

She would have to get someone to cover her shift. Hopefully, Malika would help her out again. Mercedes usually was able to handle her patient rounds and pop in and out during her shifts to visit Sam. But that was when Marcel was around, or Jean, or before that Anne Marie. Mercedes hated leaving Sam alone. Although, he couldn't respond to the world around him, Mercedes knew that Sam was processing it all in some way. So little was known about what actually happens to the brain while in a coma, but from all of her research and numerous seminars one thing was clear, Sam needed to be constantly stimulated. So she put on the television, let him hear the scores on Sportscenter or music from his favorite bands. She tried to always touch him while in the room, stroking his hair, his face, holding his hands. She wanted him to feel her presence. And of course she talked, constantly, hoping one day he would sit up and tell her to shut up.

She pulled a small bottle of lotion out of her pocket and squeezed some into her palm. Taking one of Sam's hands she began massaging the cream into his skin.

"Vanilla lavender. Doesn't that smell good?" She reached over and grabbed his other hand, giving it the same treatment. "Now no cracks about it being too girly. You always liked this scent on me. Remember how you used to say my perfume lingered all of over you and no matter where you were it was like I was right next to you?"

She looked up at his face, pale and gaunt, his cheekbones now angular ridges on his face. His eyes were closed, lips slightly parted, no other change. At least he looked peaceful. Mercedes often wondered if he were in distress or feeling pain and just couldn't let anyone know. For months since the accident she had recurring nightmares about Sam trapped inside the car, beating on the glass, yelling soundlessly for her to save him, his eyes wide in horror as he free fell into an abyss. What if he were reliving those same images this whole time, unable to wake from his torment?

"We're not even going to talk about court today. It didn't go as expected and really there's no need to dwell on that. Let's talk about something good. Like Beth. Your daughter actually sat up by herself for one whole minute today. I think she forgot the pillows were there, got all confident and just leaned forward to get to her toes. No propping needed. Isn't that amazing?"

Sam opened his eyes. It no longer startled Mercedes to look up and unexpectedly see his green eyes open, searching some unknown horizon that only existed within his mind. There were many things that Sam could do. He moved in his bed, rolling to lie on his side. He yawned, sneezed, even cried. Most medical scholars believed these were just reflex actions, and maybe some were, but Mercedes had to believe Sam was in there somewhere. With her. He had to be.

"I think she's starting to know your photo. She's always reaching for it now. I promise to bring her to visit again real soon. Don't you worry your daughter will know you, and she will love you so much when you come back to us." She intertwined her fingers through his, forcing his stiff fingers to close around hers. "We're all waiting patiently. But really Sam don't you think it's been long enough? I want you to see Beth's first steps and hear her first words." She paused to fight back the tears that were starting to form. "Of course I'm taking tons of photos and videotaping everything. You haven't missed a thing. Promise. Speaking of video, should we watch your recording for today?" she asked grabbing the remote from the table beside the bed. Mercedes flipped on the digital recording playback.

One of the first seminars Mercedes had attended in Chicago for caregivers and families of comatose and vegetative patients stressed the importance of videotaping. They believed the tapes were necessary to provide visual proof of all the subtle ways patients reacted to stimuli. Too many doctors simply ignored the statements from their patients' families about motor response, often dismissing it as simply involuntary actions. The experts at the seminars challenged families to take matters into their own hands and provide evidence.

Dwight latched onto the idea right away, more as a means of security, than anything else. He hated that Sam was a sitting duck for D&E's enemies. Mercedes didn't have time to worry about D&E Industries business. She only wanted to document Sam's progress. To prove that Sam was still there, fighting to recover. She wouldn't let anyone give up on him, no matter how hopeless it seemed or how long it had been.

"Ok let's play what we recorded today. Since I missed visiting you earlier today, I want to see how your day went."

As the file rewound, she massaged Sam's arms and upper torso, looking back over her shoulder occasionally to see the file's progress. It was then she saw something. Thinking it was probably a glitch, Mercedes picked up the remote from the bed and hit pause. There captured on screen was Quinn draped across her husband's chest.

She had come to visit Sam again.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

She had done it. She thought she would have had to climb the tree near the side of the house to get up to the second floor window, but then she remembered the key. Sam wasn't used to having house keys, since he had grown up with servants who were paid just to open his doors, he'd always lose them, so he hid them in various places just in case. After their night of indiscretion was revealed, Sam had to come to the house while Mercedes was not home to get some of his things. From the car, Quinn had watched Sam dig around the dirt of a potted shrub outside the door and pull out a key.

Lucky for Quinn, the key was still there. Through the kitchen door window, Quinn could see Beiste in the kitchen, on the telephone. Quinn knew that Mercedes would not be home. During the many times Beiste had come to see her at the hospital, chattering on about Beth's schedule, Quinn felt like she knew the household's routine by memory. Tuesdays and Thursdays Mercedes had class. Those were the times that Beiste usually had Beth with her. Quinn let herself in through the front door, tiptoed through the living room and up the stairs.

Once on the second floor, relieved to be in from the cold, Quinn rubbed her hands together, soaking in the warm heat of the house. It had been a long walk from the hospital, trudging along the side of the road. It might have been wiser if Quinn had somehow incorporated a coat into her plan to flee the hospital. She guessed she had lost sight of things since at first she was consumed with going to see Sam. She somehow thought that this time would be different and he would wake up for her. That he would somehow sense she needed him now more than she ever had. It hurt her to think of him stuck in the bed. She wanted him to have a chance to be free. She didn't want to leave him behind, trapped in that awful place.

She remembered it smelling like rain, the last time she spoke to Sam.

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><p><em>They were out on the balconies of their side by side rooms at the Beacon hotel. Quinn in a plush white hotel bathrobe, and Sam in a black shirt, his tie discarded, top buttons undone, sleeves rolled up, one foot on the bottom railing, the hint of stubble shadowing his chin. Looking out at the Lima skyline, thinking no one down there even noticed they were not among them. It had been their little respite, their hideout from the accusations, the pointed glares, the whispers, but not the guilt, that they kept with them.<em>

_Sam insisted on renting her a room next to his own, not adjoining of course, because that wouldn't be right after what they had done. Besides alone together, feeling sad and more than a little drunk, never led to anything positive for her and Sam. So they played it safe, and kept a balcony railing between them as they drank. The mini bar was well stocked, and Sam had the means to keep it filled for the foreseeable future._

_"You think anyone will notice if we just stayed here forever?" asked Quinn leaning forward over the balcony railing letting the warm evening breeze tousle her hair._

_"I think my dad might have something to say about me missing work. That is if he ever starts speaking to me again," said Sam before taking another drink._

_"Sorry," she said sadly. "Have you been able to talk to Mercedes?"_

_"I wouldn't call what Mercedes and I do talking. She likes to call me over, verbally beat me down, and then send me on my way," he laughed humorlessly._

_"At least she is acknowledging that you exist. Puck is ignoring me."_

_"Probably just hurts him too much to see you right now. He'll come around."_

_"All of this made me aware of one really sad fact," said Quinn._

_"What's that?" Sam asked turning to face her._

_"I'm totally alone in this town."_

_"That's not true. You have friends."_

_"If I count Santana, that's one. Exes don't really count as friends, and those are what I have in vast abundance." She sighed softly as she took another drink from her glass._

_"I'm your ex. And your friend."_

_"More like partner in crime. If Puck and Mercedes knew we were staying at the same hotel -"_

_"I don't care if they know," he interrupted. "We aren't doing anything wrong. We were just friends when we slept together, and we're still friends now. I'm not going to apologize for caring about you. Ok?"_

_"Ok."_

_"Besides you'll never have to worry about being alone. We'll always have each other."_

_"No matter what," smiled Quinn._

_"No matter what." He held his glass up to her in agreement before swallowing the rest of the brown liquid._

_"You better get used to having me around because I don't think Puck will ever forgive me," said Quinn taking a sip from her mini bottle of Grey Goose. She had abandoned the glass and switched to drinking straight from the bottle._

_"He'd be a fool not to," responded Sam placing his empty glass on the chair behind him. "No man wants to lose a woman as amazing as you."_

_"Yeah I'm amazing. I broke his heart spectacularly."_

_"If he has a brain in his head he won't let you go. If he does he will regret it for a long time." He reached over and grabbed her hand, a shiver ran through her momentarily at his touch. "I know I did."_

_"Sam, that's so…" she stammered trying to find the words. "Thank you."_

_"Quinn Fabray, you're a hard woman to get over."_

_He stared at her across the balcony, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb slowly as he held it. She seemed to lose herself in those green depths for a moment, their past colliding through her mind like a film playing at high speed. Moonlit walks in the park, stealing kisses on her front porch, ice skating at the pond, and the smell of rain as he slid his fingers down her wet skin._

_She drifted closer to his side of the balcony, as if pulled by his gaze. Had he always looked like this? He turned back toward the skyline. She studied his profile dropping her eyes to his collar noting the way his hair curled where it grazed his shoulder. He had let his hair grow. It made him look more rugged and just a bit dangerous. This wasn't the same boy she had loved so many years ago. Sam seemed like the only thing that was real in her life, solid. He held her up, kept her steady despite the fact he was drowning himself._

_"Do you need a refill?" he asked breaking the spell. She released his hand, her head swimming._

_"No," she answered hazily still caught up in him. "I think I want to go and lie down."_

_"You know where I am."_

_"Yep just right next door."_

_"I'm always here if you need me. Your trusty partner in crime," he chuckled._

_"I know. Goodnight Sam."_

_"Night Quinn," he said as he disappeared through the sliding door._

* * *

><p>That was the last time she had seen him as he used to be, moving and full of life. She wanted her partner in crime back.<p>

Even though the room was dark, it glowed with a soft light. The ceiling twinkled with hundreds of lights like the stars in the night sky. Beth was asleep in her crib, on her back, her thumb curled up near her mouth. Her little toes wiggled as she slept. Quinn just watched her for a moment mesmerized by the rise and fall of her little chest. It was her sweet baby girl. Tentatively at first, Quinn reached out to touch her, hesitating just above her belly. Then she made a sound, a little whimper in her sleep and that was all it took. Quinn softly put her one hand under her head and the other under her bottom and lifted her from the crib.

"Mama's here sweet baby. I've missed you so much." Beth snuggled her head on Quinn's shoulder never waking.

She walked slowly about the room with her in her arms, swaying gently. This was the first time she had seen Beth's room since she had lived with Beiste. It had been transformed. The room that once housed a bedroom set for her and a bassinet for Beth, was now a full fledged nursery. She noted her rocking chair still in the room, the only familiar sight. Being far too risky to turn on the lights to take a better look, Quinn strained to take it all in just by the glow of the starlit ceiling.

Moving about the room in a slow circle she noted the stately crib, which she was sure was from Dwight. She quickly looked past the mound of teddy bears her gut tightening with the sickening knowledge of their meaning. She noticed the wall of shelves filled with photos. Sam was everywhere. Quinn couldn't help but smile that Beth's room was filled of pictures of her father. At least Mercedes made sure she would know one of her parents.

The picture of her with Sam in formal wear caught her eye. It was from a charity benefit hosted by one of D&E Industries' business associates a few years back. During a time when she thought maybe she and Sam could have been something more. She rarely let herself think of those days, before Mike and Rachel somehow swerved them off track. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

* * *

><p><em>"So why exactly did you need me with you tonight?" she asked as Sam spun her out onto the dance floor her long blue gown swirling about her legs.<em>

_"Every CEO needs to walk in with a beautiful chick on his arm. Impresses the board members." He flashed his wide grin as they swayed to the music._

_"So you're just using me for my looks?"_

_"Absolutely. Look around Quinn, all the men in the room are staring at you. They've never seen anything so beautiful." She frowned in building disgust, turning away from him. He stopped her, dipping her low, before pulling her back up flush against his body. "Neither have I," he whispered against her ear._

_She pulled back, staring intently into his eyes. "Nice save Evans," she said lightening the intense mood that had fallen between them. "I almost left your ass alone on the dance floor."_

_"I thought it was pretty good. Much better than I needed you here tonight because you speak fluent French," he smirked twirling her away from him once again._

* * *

><p>How did Mercedes get her hands on that photo?<p>

She continued to look around the room. It was a beautifully decorated space. Her daughter was certainly being well cared for and Quinn was thankful for that. But she needed to be with her and it seemed like the only way that could happen now was if she took her and left town. The walls felt like they were closing in on Quinn and she was sure the judge would lock her away for good. She didn't have any other choices. It was now or never.

She quickly surveyed the room for a bag to pack some supplies for Beth. Not seeing anything out in the open, she decided to check the closet. With one hand she opened the closet door, moving gently so not to disturb Beth still sleeping on her shoulder. The closet however proved too dark for her to search. She was going to have to turn on the light. Perhaps if she were quick enough, Beiste wouldn't catch her. She leaned over and switched on the small lamp near Beth's changing table and that's when she saw it.

The entire wall covered by a beautiful mural. Quinn just stared, tears falling as she took it all in. In one corner there was a large pink castle surround by golden stars nestled above the clouds. Treetops lined the lower portion of the mural, with all the details of an enchanted forest, animals, plants and numerous colored birds all painted in among the trees. And in the very bottom corner of the mural there was a small cottage covered in vines with fairies and musical notes floating around it.

"Oh my sweet baby I'm so sorry," Quinn cried rubbing Beth's back softly. "Mommy's so sorry. I didn't mean it. I swear I didn't mean it."

She backed away from the wall, forgetting her search of the closet. Taking a seat in the rocking chair she continued to stare at the castle painted on the wall. She trembled with emotion causing Beth to stir with her increased movements.

"Mommy is so sorry," she repeated over and over, showering her little blond head with kisses, dampening her hair with tears. Beth squirmed as she began to wake, whimpering in Quinn's arms.

She cradled her closer, rocking slowly in the chair, still unable to tear her eyes from the mural.

"Quinn?" She looked up to see Beiste in the doorway holding a baby monitor.

"I didn't mean it Coach B," she cried. Distraught, Quinn looked down at Beth, clutching her tightly to her breast, ignoring her squeals. "I promise I didn't," she said tears streaming down her face as she returned her gaze to the mural painted on the wall.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Mercedes poked her head out of Sam's hospital room door, hoping to catch someone passing by. Right now she needed to find Quinn. She had crossed a line with her husband, and Mercedes wasn't going to let her get away with it again. With Marcel gone, Mercedes had no one to be with Sam, she didn't like leaving him alone for very long. And Mercedes had a feeling that her little chat with Quinn would take quite awhile. For the first time, she actually missed the guards outside the door. At least then she could have had one of them sit with Sam while she went off and handled other things.

It had been months since the guards were posted at his door. Dwight's legal team had managed to get an injunction requiring that all media professionals remain across the street from the hospital. It had been a bit of a circus at first, when Sam first was brought in. Word of the accident had made the nightly news and within hours reporters were crammed in the hospital lobby hoping to get a glimpse of the Evans heir. They heard the words critically injured and they were drooling, hoping to be the first to send the scoop back to their offices. They were like vultures, circling around waiting for Sam to take a turn for the worse. Not that Mercedes really remembered the frenzy at the hospital that night. She only could see Sam, bloody and pale, barely breathing. He stopped breathing twice on the way to the hospital, Mercedes willing him to breathe as the paramedics tried to revive him.

Mercedes went over to the nurses' station, hoping to maybe page Cheryl and ask her to help for a little while. Cheryl had been so supportive of Mercedes during these past months, tending to Sam's needs when Mercedes couldn't be there. She knew she could count on Cheryl to sit with Sam, but she hated asking. She was starting to feel guilty about all the leaning she had been doing lately.

Will Schuester stepped off the elevator, in black jeans, a blue plaid shirt, topped with navy sweater vest. His face brightened into a smile when he saw Mercedes, waving quickly to catch her attention.

"Will I'm glad you're here," said Mercedes walking to meet him at the elevator doors. "Can you go in and sit with Sam?"

"Uh, well Mercedes, I don't know," he hesitated. "I may get called away. What's going on?"

"Dwight fired Marcel."

"Not another one," he groaned.

"Yep, and I have to work for a few hours. I only could find someone to cover the second half of my shift. I don't want to leave him." She was hoping a little guilt would help persuade him.

"I'm not sure if I can," he said rubbing the back of his head in obvious discomfort.

"I wouldn't have asked if it weren't important. I called Sue. She'll be here in an hour. So it wouldn't be that long. I'm desperate," she pleaded as she walked him closer to Sam's room door.

"Hey Mr. Schue," said Rachel suddenly joining them. "Mercedes," she added barely looking in her direction.

"Hi Rachel," responded Will with a smile.

Mercedes examined her nails as Rachel spoke. "So where's Beth? You two usually are out here hanging out."

"She's with Beiste," said Mercedes before Will could reply. "I had class today."

"Oh. I was hoping to see Sam," she said running her hand through her long brown hair. "Got in the new Sports Illustrated," she said holding up the magazine for them to see. "I thought Sam might like to hear about the pre-season Indians predictions."

"Rachel that would be great," said Mercedes perking up. Rachel actually was proving to be useful for a change. "I'm sure he would love it."

"Great. I'll go in right now. Bye Mr. Schue."

"See ya, Rachel," said Will as she left. "Things seemed a little frosty between you two. I thought you were getting along," said Will as he turned his attention back to Mercedes.

"That was us getting along," Mercedes shrugged.

"So nothing brewing there because of Shane?"

"Shane and I are friends. If Rachel has a problem with that too bad, I've got bigger things to deal with than her issues."

"That's sort of why I dropped by. I heard about what happened in court."

"Who hasn't?" Mercedes picked at the hem of her nurse's uniform shirt. She was getting weary of all this Quinn talk.

"Seemed like it was pretty bad. Are you all right?"

"Yeah," she replied smiling halfheartedly. "She didn't manage to actually get her hands around my throat."

"I guess your testimony set her off." Will took a seat in the waiting area near the nurses' station.

"Is this the part where yet another person lectures me about being too hard on poor Quinn?"

"You know me better than that Mercedes. I'm not going to judge you for how you feel."

"You're like the only one. Everyone thinks I'm heartless," she sighed plopping down in the chair next to him.

"Well not everyone can relate to it the way I can. I think about when Emma was sick sometimes. How things had gotten so bad with her OCD that she was giving the twins baths up to ten times a day. I was so wrapped in my own guilt, hiding in my work that I didn't really notice until that one night I came home and she was trying to sterilize the twins in scalding hot water. I can't believe I left my little babies in such a dangerous position."

"You didn't know," she said softly.

"I knew something was off. I just didn't say anything. I didn't think I had the right because of what I did with Holly Holliday."

"Like I thought people would think I was just causing trouble for Quinn because I was upset she slept with Sam. I can totally understand."

"So kiddo, no judgments from me. All you can do is the best you can to keep Beth safe. And we just have to pray her parents will get better soon." He squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"I'm doing all I can for Sam. I'm going to talk to his doctors about the possibility of deep brain stimulation treatments for him. They are making strides in that area. It would involve some surgery, but it could be something," she said her voice spiking hopefully.

"I hope it is, because my baby brother has been stuck in that bed long enough. I keep thinking that maybe if I had done – "

"Don't even think like that Will," she said quickly cutting him off. "We've both agreed it gets us nowhere."

"I just want this all to be over." He ran his hand through his short curly brown hair, leaning forward in his chair to stare at the floor.

"Keep up those positive thoughts. We can't give up on him."

"How's he really doing? Any change?" he asked glancing in her direction.

"Not really," she sighed. "Oh I did let his beard grow super long like the guys in that ZZ Top album you made me play for him. Still not convinced Sam actually likes them by the way," she added playfully.

"I used to play them for him when he was little. He likes it. Trust me." A smile suddenly broke upon his face, as if he were picturing young Sam rocking out to ZZ Top.

"Now he looks like a member of the band. You should check it out," she said lightly gesturing toward the room with her hand.

"Tempting," he smirked. "Even though I know you're making it up."

"I absolutely am," she giggled.

He leaned his elbow on his knee, resting his chin in his palm. "I know I should be going in there. It's been months and months but I just can't handle seeing him like that."

"He's not on all those machines anymore. He just looks like he's sleeping," she replied hoping that somehow her words would put Will more at ease.

"I know. But I don't want to see him like that. It's bad enough every time I close my eyes I see him trapped in that damn car," he said his eyes reddened with barely concealed emotion.

"Me too," she said softly, again seeing his face in her mind. The last little smile before the dark swallowed him whole only to spit him out bloody and broken.

"My brother was active, he fidgeted and paced. He always had something to say, always had a smart ass comment, always doing a bad impression. My brother didn't sit still. I feel like it's not him in there."

"It's still him Will," she assured him patting him gently on the shoulder. "He's just resting. All those surgeries."

"Do you think he's disappointed in me?" he asked her, his voice choked with pain. "He must be so upset I haven't been to visit."

"I think he understands. I tell him every time you're just outside the door spending time with Beth. You may not go inside, but you're here just as much as the rest of us."

Twice a week at 5pm like clockwork Will had what he called 'play play time' with Beth. Seated in the waiting area outside of Sam's door, Will would play with Beth, tell her stories about her father, and give her a bottle, while Mercedes spent the last few hours of the evening with Sam. Will would never actually come inside Sam's room, but he never missed those evenings spent outside his door.

Before Beth was born, Will would come by the hospital daily, to get updates from Mercedes, and to pass along music or movies that he wanted Sam to have. Mercedes gladly played go between for the brothers. It was the next best thing to Will actually sitting with Sam. She made sure Sam knew that Will hadn't forgotten him, and was still with him every step of the way. Like they all were.

"I'm so glad my brother married you," he said with a small smile.

"You always say that," she said uncomfortably, embarrassed that Will would bring this up again. If he knew all the ways she had hurt Sam, he wouldn't be so approving of her.

She sometimes felt like a hypocrite when she was around Sam's family. They all saw her as his brokenhearted victim, battling back to forgive him in the face of overwhelming odds. She wondered if they knew about how she had betrayed him on their wedding day.

"I mean it. You're not only taking care of him, and Beth, but all of us too."

"I'm no saint Will. Especially since I'm the one that put him in that bed in the first place."

"You've got to let that go. It will eat you alive if you don't. I was there that night. You fought like hell for Sam. You never quit on him."

"Anyone would have done the same." She shrugged.

"I'm not so sure about that. I don't think I would've lasted."

"Even if it were Emma or Stevie and Stacey?"

"I don't know. I'd like to think I would. But look at what happened – "

"You would," she interrupted. "You'd do anything to keep them safe. They're your world."

"He's beyond lucky and he almost screwed it all up. When he wakes up I'm going to remind him everyday just how much he could have lost when he messed around with Quinn." She shifted uncomfortably at the mention of Quinn's name.

The ease in which everyone associated him with Quinn, made Mercedes sick. It was bad enough the whole world knew that her husband had slept with Quinn and fathered a child, but lately it seemed like even the family had stopped walking on eggshells about the subject. They all seemed to think that Mercedes was beyond what happened with Sam and Quinn. She wasn't. She may have forgiven Sam, but Quinn would never be able to rectify her actions.

"I don't care about any of that Will. He could wake up blaming me for everything and I wouldn't care. I just want him to come back to me."

"That's never going to happen. My brother loved you more than anything. He told me that. You don't have to worry about him waking up hating you or not wanting you. I think after all of this you two will have earned your fairytale."

Mercedes hoped Will was right, because she was ready for this horror story they had been living to end.


	24. Chapter 24

**Thanks for reading and commenting! I appreciate it so much.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 24<strong>

Moving quickly through the halls of the hospital, Mercedes made her way to the psych ward. She hated lying to Will about having to run off to work. The truth was her entire shift was covered, but she needed to slip away for a bit. Seeing Quinn on that tape had Mercedes raging inside. She had managed to let things go before. The other late night visits Quinn paid Sam. But this time she had taken it too far. How dare she touch him like that?

Quinn seemed to know the nurses' schedules and timed each of her visits during their breaks. Mercedes didn't know why Quinn had suddenly decided to visit Sam so early that day. She suspected Quinn was going to stay true to her words in court and fill Sam in on what Mercedes had said about her being a danger to Beth. She hadn't bothered to play the tape and listen to what Quinn had actually said. Usually she blathered on about being stuck and feeling crazy and missing him and Beth. Mercedes didn't like hearing such blatant reminders of Quinn's intimate connection to her husband. So she tended to skip playback with sound.

Mercedes wasn't sure why she had never confronted Quinn about visiting Sam before. Maybe it was the little voice inside her that said Sam would want to see Quinn. They were close and Mercedes knew if Sam were able to speak, he would ask about her anyway. So she let Quinn slide, for Sam. Perhaps Quinn could be just the thing to bring Sam back. She had a great effect on him in the past. He clearly couldn't control his urges around her.

Mercedes pushed down the jealous thoughts that were starting to build. Sam had told her he didn't love Quinn anymore and she believed him, despite all the evidence to the contrary. Mercedes wasn't going to let Quinn's dependence on her husband shake her belief that Sam truly loved her. Sam had made it clear to her the night of the accident and Mercedes was going to hold on to that. She had to.

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><p><em>Huddled in the front of the car, Mercedes squeezing Sam's hand so tightly her nails were digging trenches into his skin, they watched Will make the final preparations through the rain smudged window.<em>

_"Sam I'm so scared. Something doesn't seem right."_

_"Will has it all set up. We're finally getting out of here. So just get back out of the car and we can go."_

_"I want to stay in here with you. It took me ten minutes to wake you up before. You're so cold." She pulled the blanket even tighter around him, moving in closer to surround him with her body's warmth._

_"I'll be fine. Promise. Just wait for me over there next to Will." She shook her head resolutely, holding him even closer, trying to ignore the dampness of his blood soaked shirt under the blanket._

_"Sam, what if something goes wrong? I can't shake this feeling that this might be the last time I see you."_

_"Just nerves, baby. Nothing is going to happen to me. We've come this far right?" He rested his chin on the top of her head, too weak to move much more than that. Mercedes could feel him slipping away again._

_"Right," she said still unconvinced._

_He pushed her away from him, alarming Mercedes with his sudden movement. Between shallow breaths he spoke slowly. "Look at me Cede. I love you. I'll never stop loving you. Never forget that."_

_"Sam I – "_

_"I'm going spend the rest of my life proving to you that you're the one I want."_

_"You don't have to prove anything to me."_

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><p>At Quinn's door, Mercedes raised her hand to knock, but thought better of it and pushed it open instead. The room was empty. The lights were on, the bed was made, a mug on the bedside table. Mercedes stepped inside, closing the door behind her. She decided to wait a few moments, thinking perhaps Quinn was in the bathroom. She settled on the bed, slipping off her shoes, pulling her feet under her, grateful for a few minutes of quiet. She leaned sideways on the bed, cradling her head in her arms, her eyes starting to close instinctively lulled by the mattress.<p>

Something rough scratched her elbow as she shifted, nestling even further into the bed. Reaching under her arm she pulled out the offending item. A very worn picture, creased and soft as if it had been handled often, of Sam, young in a tuxedo. Anger churned in the pit of Mercedes' stomach as she imagined Quinn in bed dreaming about Sam, the picture pressed to her breast.

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><p><em>"Cede, I need you to understand about Quinn."<em>

_"Why are you bringing her up again? Is she that much on your mind?"_

_"It's not that, I just need you to hear me out. I know you think what happened with me and Quinn is like what happened between us our first time. But it wasn't."_

_"I never said that."_

_"Cede, I know you. You're thinking I'm fighting feelings for Quinn, like I was with you. But you have to believe I didn't want to secretly be with her. Quinn and I were hurting and it just happened."_

_"This is the last thing I want to talk about right now. Why are you telling me all this?"_

_"I need you to understand. Quinn's my best friend. I rely on her and I trust her, but I didn't want anything more than that. Just for one moment, can you please try to trust me again?" He lifted her chin with his hand, forcing her to look him in the eyes._

_"Sam this is too much right now. You need to get to a hospital. We can talk about this later."_

_"I can't risk never letting you know. You're not_ second choice to her, or anyone else. I need you to tell me that you believe me."

_"Just stop," she swiped at the tears that were forming in his eyes with her fingertips. It killed her to see Sam this upset._

_"Tell me Mercedes."_

_"I believe you. I wasn't second choice."_

_"Good," he rested his forehead against hers. She could feel all of his body weight sag against her. She knew he would lose consciousness again soon._

_"Time to let go of my hand now baby," he whispered._

_"I don't know if I can leave you," she responded in the same hushed tone._

_"I'll be right back," he said almost inaudibly._

_"Promise?"_

_But Sam was gone._

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><p>Mercedes wiped the tears from her face as she remembered that night. She looked down at the picture of Sam clenched tightly in her hand. She slid it into her pocket as she rose from the bed. Quinn had yet to return. There was no way that a patient would be allowed this much time unattended. Then it hit her.<p>

What if Quinn wasn't coming back? Fear gripped her instantly when she realized the first place Quinn would go. Taking her phone out of her pocket, she dialed the house. She had to warn Beiste.


	25. Chapter 25

Thanks for reading and commenting. Quinn, Quinn, Quinn...smh

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><p><strong>Chapter 25<strong>

It seemed like hours had passed as Beiste stood there, leaning against the sink, sipping her tea, just staring at Quinn. Quinn fidgeted in her seat at the kitchen table, uncomfortable under her gaze, picking up and putting down her own mug of tea just to busy her hands. She was eager to ask Beiste exactly what she was planning to do now. Now that she had caught Quinn in Beth's room, but she was too afraid at just what her answer might be. So Quinn continued to almost drink her tea, and wait. Beiste placed her mug in the sink behind her, remaining there with her back turned to Quinn seeming to be in no hurry to turn around.

Quinn couldn't stand it any longer. "It's great Beth went right back to sleep," said Quinn breaking their silent standoff. "She must have been tired," she added this time actually taking a sip of tea, her throat suddenly dry.

"You disrupted her schedule. Babies need structure for their healthy development," said Beiste without turning to face Quinn.

"I wasn't going to hurt her," said Quinn quietly.

It was then that Beiste turned around. "I know you weren't trying to hurt her. But I'm concerned that you wouldn't let her go when she was in obvious discomfort."

"I didn't want you to take her from me."

"You were holding her too tightly," said Beiste visibly upset. She toyed with the championship ring on her finger at an almost a frantic pace.

"So now you think I'm a horrible mother too? That I don't even know how to hold my own baby?" Tears pooled in her eyes as she realized that the one person she had thought truly understood might now also think she was crazy.

"Something got to you upstairs Quinn. You weren't acting yourself. I just wanted to protect Beth." Quinn could see the tears in Beiste's eyes as she spoke. And there was something else. It looked like fear. Was Beiste afraid of her now?

Upstairs in Beth's nursery she had felt it again, the disconnect, as if she were watching someone else in her body. She knew Beth was crying, but she couldn't do anything to make it stop. It was like some force had control and she was powerless within her own skin. As Beiste had stepped closer, Quinn held her tighter and tighter. She knew it was wrong but everything within her was screaming to not let her go. Only when Beth stilled, making a muffled gurgle had she looked down at her in alarm. Quinn had almost hurt her again. She had collapsed in a fit of tears, Beiste grabbing the baby before she hit the ground.

"Beth doesn't need to be protected from me," Quinn sobbed wiping the tears from her face with the back of her hands.

"What are you doing here Quinn? You're supposed to be at the hospital."

"I needed to see my daughter."

Beiste walked over to her at the table and stood in front of her. "You could have asked Mercedes to bring her by to visit, you didn't have to break in."

"Mercedes was not going to let Beth anywhere near me."

"Then you could've asked me. This coming in here at night, sneaking into my home. I'm concerned Quinn." Beiste held her gently, pressing Quinn's face into her side as she rubbed her back.

"I couldn't take any chances," she sniffled, her tears subsiding.

"You're not drinking your tea," said Beiste nudging the mug toward Quinn.

"I'm not thirsty. I need to know. Are you going to stop me?" Quinn eyed her suspiciously wondering why the sudden change of subject.

"I think you need to go back to the hospital," said Beiste moving back over to the sink. "You don't need any more trouble."

"I'm not leaving here without Beth. I have to do this Coach B. It's the only way."

"Honey you're not thinking clearly. Where are you and that baby gonna go?" asked Beiste as she washed the few dishes in the sink.

"I don't know. Someplace warm, far away where Mercedes will never find us."

"Mercedes is not your enemy Quinn. She is helping you until you get better."

Mercedes had them all under her spell. There was no left to believe Quinn now.

Quinn often wondered how it had happened. Just a couple of years ago, Mercedes was this spoiled brat no one could stand, and now she was treated like Mother Theresa in the town. Saint Mercedes tends to her sick husband and takes care of his illegitimate daughter. The way everyone seemed to love Mercedes made Quinn want to gag at times. It wasn't that she didn't like Mercedes. She actually was starting to bond with her, before all the mess went down. Quinn thought Mercedes was sweet, maybe a tad over eager to please, but she seemed like her heart was in the right place. And she was Julian's daughter, so Quinn made the effort.

What Quinn could never fully understand was Sam. Sure she had known there was some attraction between Sam and Mercedes, all of cyberspace did after that sex tape. But to Quinn it just didn't seem like Mercedes was the type of person that Sam would date, let alone marry. Mercedes had these weird little quirks that she was sure drove Sam insane, and the way she talked so much. Quinn could imagine Sam being annoyed with her after awhile. It just seemed like they didn't really fit.

But then when she thought about how Sam's face lit up every time Mercedes came into the room. Or how devastated he was when he thought Mercedes wanted to be with Shane. The tears in his eyes, the night they slept together, when he thought Mercedes had left him. She couldn't deny that Sam loved her. Who was she to question that? Especially when half the town had never understood her getting back together with Puck either.

The ring of the telephone filled the room. Quinn knew that the call had to be about her. She bolted toward the door leading to the living room, panic setting in. "Don't answer it," she pleaded with Beiste.

"The phone rang earlier, while we were upstairs. It could be important; I need to see who it is."

Quinn grabbed Beiste's hand before she could reach the phone. "Please Coach B, don't tell on me. I just want to save my baby. I promise that is all I want."

"Quinn you need to calm down," stated Beiste.

"Please don't answer the phone."

Quinn could feel Beiste pulling away from her. She didn't want to hurt Beiste, not after all she had done for her and Beth. She had to find a way to make Beiste understand, to get her on her side. As she frantically searched her mind for an answer, a rush of heat overtook her body, causing Quinn to sway unsteadily. Letting go of Beiste's hand, Quinn braced herself on the counter until the dizziness passed.

"I didn't answer."

"Thank you," said Quinn still a little uneasy on her feet.

"Now I need you to do me a favor," said Beiste reaching up to brush the hair out of Quinn's face.

"I'm not going back to the hospital."

"Let me finish. I want you to sit back down at the table and drink your tea. I'm going to pull out some leftovers from the restaurant and make you something to eat. You don't look good Quinn."

"Coach B I don't have time."

"I can easily pick up that phone right now." Beiste guided Quinn over to the table and sat her down.

"Fine. I'll sit for a minute." Her head was starting to spin again.

"So Quinn, I can tell you are convinced you need to take Beth and leave," said Beiste as she pulled containers of food from the refrigerator and placed them on the counter.

"I am Coach B. It's the only way."

"Maybe you need to come up with a plan. You can't just run out into the cold with a baby. You won't get very far."

There had been many times when Quinn had imagined running away with Beth. When she first had been placed in the hospital she had many a restless night plotting ways to take Beth. Then those plans were primarily ways to get back Puck. She would often fantasize about him coming to her rescue, saving her and Beth from the unknown perils of the streets. It was only about Puck then, and getting back the family they had always wanted. Constantly praying that some miracle would suddenly make Beth Puck's daughter. She couldn't believe God would curse her this way. Taking away not only her daughter, but also the man she loved.

After a few weeks of therapy however, Quinn began to see things a bit clearer. She actually started to have real concern for her daughter and her well being and not just her tattered love life. It was a harsh reality when Quinn finally faced up to the fact that she was almost willing to sacrifice her daughter for Puck. She couldn't believe that her mind had blurred so much that she saw Beth as a threat to her own happiness. She had cast Beth in the role of villain, the little destroyer of her dreams. But once she had let go of Puck, fully accepting that what they had was over, almost, Quinn felt lost and alone. She had been clinging onto the idea of Puck and their life living with Julian for so long that she didn't know how to want anything else.

Then she remembered Sam. Their alcohol filled nights on the hotel balcony, his constant support, and never faltering friendship. He was the one bright spot in her life. He always had been. It suddenly seemed fitting that the one person that had always forgiven her, no matter how heinous the offense, the one person that always loved and supported her unconditionally was also Beth's father. It made a crazy kind of sense that her oldest friend was now the person she was most closely connected to for life. He had always been there, when all the others had left. It was Sam she counted on. It was Sam she trusted. Her late night trips to visit him started after that. Sitting in near darkness by his bedside, sharing her hopes and fears, wishing they both could escape to a better place, Quinn found peace.

"I was hoping Sam would come with us."

"Sam?" Beiste looked up from the dish she was preparing in shock.

"I know. Crazy huh?"

Every time Quinn talked about Sam lately people gave her strange looks. They either thought she was living in an imaginary world where Sam walked and talked only to her. Or they were indignant, as if she had no right to mention his name, since she wasn't his wife. She was just the woman that ruined his life. No one seemed to consider how much Sam meant to her too. That she had a place in his life before the accident, before Mercedes, before everything.

"I'm sure you miss him. We all do," said Beiste gently.

"I just thought that maybe he would by some miracle wake up and help me tonight."

"Well let's try to think of what Sam might say if he were here now. What kind of plan would he come up with?" Beiste put the plate in the microwave before coming to join Quinn at the table.

"He'd want to make sure we were safe."

"How would he do that?"

"I don't know, maybe whisk us away in his jet."

"You don't think Sue and Dwight would try and stop him? They love Beth very much."

"You're right. He would have us lay low at first. Rent a room in a motel outside of town, then sneak out in the middle of the night."

"Do you have money saved up for this? Beth needs her diapers and formula. You have to pay for food and transportation."

"Why are you making this so hard Coach B?" asked Quinn resting her forehead on the table.

"You need to think it through sweetheart."

"Sam would say that."

"Think it through?"

"Yeah. He said I had a tendency to run off half cocked. Which I always thought was hypocritical of him because he's the same way."

"Seems like you two know each other well," said Beiste.

Quinn smiled. They had been through so much together. He had seen her at her worst and still never turned away from her.

"We do. I sometimes think no one knows me better."

She noted the picture of Sam on the small desk in the kitchen. He was with Mercedes of course, matching big grins, their arms wrapped around each other, happy. He had once looked that way with her, all those years ago serenading her under the styrofoam stars in the science lab. Quinn shook herself free of the memories, not wanting to dwell on the reason why she suddenly felt the need to prove that Mercedes wasn't the only woman that ever made his smile that bright.

"Would he really want you to do this Quinn? Would he want you to take Beth away from people that love her?"

"Sam would want Beth with her mother."

Quinn knew without a doubt that Sam would never let anyone take Beth from her. If he were able, Sam would have her out of this legal nightmare and Beth would be safely back in her arms. Sam would stand by her.

"But wouldn't he worry that you two weren't safe, out there on your own? What if he woke up and found you gone? How would he feel?"

"He would understand." He always understood.

Her mind went to another sleepless night at the Beacon Hotel, leaning against the metal balcony bars, sipping beers under the star filled sky.

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><p><em>"I wish we could run away. To Tahiti. We could live in a hut," said Quinn, eyes closed visualizing the scene.<em>

_"I somehow can't see you roughing it," said Sam taking another swallow of his beer._

_"Ok a bungalow with indoor plumbing," she laughed._

_"Better. Would we hunt and gather our own food, live off the land?" he turned to face her, getting more into the game._

_"You could catch fish with your bare hands."_

_"I think I'd rather use a spear. More manly." He rubbed the cold beer bottle across his forehead, cooling himself from the heat._

_"Me in a grass skirt. You all tan. It would be paradise."_

_"It does sound nice. We could be free." He looked at her then, his eyes sparkling in the twilight. She could tell he was there with her, on that beach._

_"Let's do it," she said excitedly. "We could run away tomorrow. What's stopping us from escaping?"_

_"Forget about everyone in Lima? Just leave them all behind?" he asked, seeming a bit surprised._

_"Why not? Everyone hates us anyway. We'd have each other. What more would we need?"_

_"You could just give up on Puck? Forget about him just like that?"_

_"I don't know," she looked out at the darkening Lima city skyline. "Maybe. I think life under the sun with you could make almost anything bearable. As long as I have you by my side," she said softly holding his gaze._

_He smiled, his pink lips stretched wide as he looked at her through the balcony bars. "Well that you got. We don't need a beach. You got me right here." He placed his hand over his heart. "No way you can shake me. We're for life."_

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><p>"Would he really? Would he understand you taking his daughter away from him? Mercedes takes Beth to see him sometimes you know."<p>

"I don't want to talk about Mercedes. She's the reason I have to do this."

"It's not just Mercedes alone here with the baby. I'm here too. Don't you trust me?"

"I do."

"Good," said Beiste rising from the table to check on the food in the microwave. "Drink some more of your tea. The food is almost done."

"How did you know about the castle Coach B?" asked Quinn as she sipped her tea.

"What castle are you talking about?"

"The one on the wall in Beth's room." In her mind she could still see it. Pastel pinks and celestial blues, following her around the room, taunting her at every turn, she physically shook her head trying to block the image out.

"Oh Sue did that. She overheard Mercedes telling Beth that story she always tells her about her castle in the stars, and she had that mural painted. Came out nice."

"Mercedes knows?" A knot formed in the pit of her stomach as she let that information sink in. Her poor little Beth.

"Mercedes knows what honey?" asked Beiste placing a plate of food on the table in front of Quinn.

There was a knock at the door. Quinn jumped up in panic. "Don't let her in please," she begged Beiste.

"It's okay," said Beiste coming to Quinn's side, gently holding onto her arm. "Come in," Beiste called out.

Quinn held her breath as the door opened, resigned to the fact that she had nowhere to run.


	26. Chapter 26

**Thank you for reading and commenting.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 26<strong>

"Ms. Beiste?" Artie Abrams poked his head in through the half open door, hesitant to just walk in.

Quinn had been certain it was Mercedes at the door, barging in to steal her sweet baby away. When it was Artie instead, Quinn's heart started to race wildly. Her mind consumed with questions about his sudden appearance. She wondered how he had known she was at the house. Had he been following her all this time, watching her every move since she left the hospital?

"Hi Artie. C'mon in," answered Beiste still holding onto Quinn's arm.

Artie walked into the kitchen, closing the door behind him. "I got your message."

"You called him?" asked Quinn. Beiste stroked Quinn's arm soothingly, trying to get her to remain calm. Quinn felt anything but calm. Beiste had ratted her out.

"Yes. When I heard you go into Beth's room."

"Why would you do that?" asked Quinn in shock. Beiste was the last person she thought would betray her. She had always been so upfront and honest in the past.

Quinn shook herself free from Beiste and ran toward the kitchen door, there was no way she was going to let Artie stop her from leaving with Beth. She just had to get upstairs to him before anyone could stop her. Artie was quick, grabbing Quinn by the arms before she could even touch the swinging door that led to the living room.

"I figured we would need his help," said Beiste as she watched them from the side of the center island.

Artie held both of Quinn's arms behind her back as he guided her toward the kitchen table. She fought wildly to get free of his grasp, but he held her firmly, unfazed by her movements.

Sitting her down at the table, Artie let Quinn go, but stood directly in front of her, blocking any means for her escape. "I'm a little confused at what Quinn is doing here. Did you sneak out of the hospital?" He looked down at Quinn in mild confusion.

"Obviously. It's not like the judge changed his mind and set me free," said Quinn pushing the plate of food on the table away from her. She was starting to feel dizzy again and she hoped a few minutes off her feet would help her regain her balance, before she made her next move.

He pulled off his navy wool coat and took a seat in the chair next to her, pushing up the sleeves on his dark green sweater as he leaned in toward Quinn, trying to look directly into her eyes. "Are you seriously getting snarky with me right now? I thought we had come to an understanding."

"You didn't believe me about Mercedes so I had to take matters into my own hands." She rubbed her temples slowly, hoping that it would make the spinning stop.

"I never said I didn't believe you. I said if she really is trying to steal your baby as you claim, that you should stop doing things to make it so easy for her."

"If I took Beth, then she wouldn't get the chance to steal her."

"Do you realize you are making no sense right now? Are you still drugged?" he asked, leaning back in his chair in exasperation.

"Why are you being so mean to me? I thought you were a nice guy."

"You don't need a nice guy Quinn, you need someone to put his foot up your ass," said Artie tapping his finger on the table in front of her for emphasis. "Excuse my language Ms. Beiste."

"Don't worry about me," said Beiste from across the room. "Just talk some sense into the girl."

"We've got to get you back to the hospital now."

"I'm not going back," said Quinn crossing her arms across her chest. They would have to drag her out of there kicking and screaming. There was no way she was going to leave without Beth. She had abandoned her once before, never again.

"Yes you are," said Artie firmly rising up to stand in front of her as if in anticipation of her flight. "If you don't go back, the Lima PD will be within their rights to arrest you."

"No one knows I'm here."

"Artie and I do."

"Coach B you promised," begged Quinn turning to face Beiste. "You can't turn me in."

Beiste walked over and placed her arm around Quinn's shoulder, hugging her gently. "Quinn I just want you to do the right thing. Do what's best for Beth."

"Yes think about Beth," agreed Artie. "Think about how she's going to spend her formative years without you because you're going to be locked upstate."

"Upstate?" asked Beiste.

"The judge ruled to have her sent to the state mental facility."

Beiste patted Quinn's arm sympathetically. "That's hours away."

"See why I have to run Coach B?" she asked looking up at Beiste pleading with her to understand.

"I convinced the judge to allow her to remain here for one more week to be re-evaluated. This is going to look really bad. You've put everything in jeopardy," said Artie as he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Nothing matters but me and Beth. They can't put me away if I'm gone."

Artie began to pace in front of them, his dark jeans rustling as he walked. "How far do you really think you're going to get? Your face is plastered all over the news. How did you even get out of the hospital without anyone seeing you?"

"I wore a disguise."

"Are you talking about these glasses?" asked Artie gesturing toward her face.

"No one notices me in them," said Quinn looking down self-consciously adjusting the frames on her nose.

"Are you high? Quinn you're just as gorgeous as always with the glasses. That's not a disguise."

"Trust me. I have had years of practice. No one saw me leave."

"You better be right because it is going to take some really creative thinking to sneak you back in."

"Maybe you can say you needed to take her out for some air," suggested Beiste.

"She's not allowed to leave the ward. I wish we had a medical reason that somehow could explain her being outside." Artie began to pace again, stroking his chin absently. Quinn noticed his hair was damp, as if he had just gotten out of the shower. He must have rushed right over when Beiste called him.

"Well she definitely is not looking well," said Beiste tilting up Quinn's chin to get a better look at her face.

"She really doesn't. Quinn are you feeling alright?"

"You both are talking about me like I'm not even in the room. Like I have no say in my own life."

"You think this is bad? Imagine years in a psychiatric hospital. They will be watching your every move, your entire life scheduled. Your days starting with a green pill and ending with a blue one," said Artie.

"You can't scare me into going back there." Quinn jumped up out of her seat. Challenging Artie as he stood his ground in front of her. "I've made up my mind. Either you call the cops or you get out of my way."

"What do you say Ms. Beiste? 911?" asked Artie calling her bluff.

Another knock at the door and Quinn was off. She raced out of the kitchen into the living room heading toward the stairs. It was now or never to get Beth and go. Quinn had made it up three steps when she felt herself being grabbed around the waist and lifted in the air.

"I was a running back in college. No way you can side step me," Artie whispered in her ear as he placed her on the floor, pinning her arms behind her back as he dragged her into the kitchen.

"Quinn? What the hell."

Quinn opened her mouth in shock when she saw Julian standing there. "Oh my God you called Julian?"

Of all the people Quinn expected to drop by the house, Julian was not one of them. He hadn't been to Beiste's house in months.

"No I did not," answered Beiste. "What brings you by?"

"Actually Mercedes is why I'm here," replied Julian as he walked over to Beiste.

"You told Mercedes? Is she here? I've got to keep her away from Beth." Quinn struggled in Artie's arms, trying to stomp his foot to get him to release her. But he was quick and avoided her every move. "Let me go. I've got to get to my daughter."

"Quinn calm down. No one has told anyone anything," said Beiste.

"Told Mercedes what?" asked Julian the confusion apparent on his face.

Beiste pulled Julian to the side, away from Quinn and Artie. "Julian what's going on?"

"Mercedes asked me to come and check on you. She said you weren't answering the phone."

"Did she mention me?" asked Quinn from across the room still fighting in Artie's arms.

"No she didn't," answered Julian. "She's kind of a wreck right now."

"What happened?" asked Beiste, her voice filled with concern.

"She probably found out the judge didn't ship me directly to the mental hospital right after court."

"Like I said, she didn't mention you Quinn. It's Sam. He's having a bad night."

Quinn stilled in Artie's arms, the fear slowly building. "What's wrong?"

"His temperature spiked. Looks like he might have an infection. I haven't had a chance to look in on him. Mercedes sent me here when she couldn't get a hold of you. Like I said, she's a real mess right now. She's not handling this well at all. I think she needs you."

"I'll call Kurt to come sit with Beth," said Beiste picking up the phone.

"I guess it is up to me ask the obvious. Why is Quinn here and not in the hospital?"

"Is it really bad? With Sam?" asked Quinn swaying slightly on her feet. She felt like she might pass out. Sam had to be all right. Artie loosened his grip on Quinn, running his hand down her arm softly. He reached down and grabbed her hand, squeezing it lightly.

"Infection in Sam's condition is always dangerous. From what I gathered from Mercedes, I think his doctors are worried about it being a systemic infection."

Had Sam been sick when she saw him earlier? Maybe hearing about her plans to run away with Beth set him off somehow. Maybe Beiste was right. Maybe he wouldn't like her leaving town with the baby. Maybe it was causing him distress now. All the maybes were starting to make Quinn feel queasy. She had hurt Sam so badly in the past, it wouldn't be hard to believe that she had somehow hurt him again. She was about to do the one thing she promised never to do. Leave him behind. They were supposed to be in this together. Quinn and Sam partners in crime.

And here she was running off without him. She was letting Sam down, just as she had let Beth down before. She never seemed to be able to get things right, to make the right decisions. How could she ever have thought to take his daughter from him? Beth and Sam needed each other. Quinn needed to be there for Sam as he had always been there for her. She had to see him, to let him know she was still by his side. Always. There was no other option. She had to go back to the hospital. She had to go back for Sam.

"You've got to help him." A wave of nausea hit Quinn as she let the information that Julian just shared sink in. She knew what a systemic infection meant. Quinn knew the toll of prolonged illness on the body.

Julian rushed to her side. "Quinn are you feeling okay?" he asked his voice sounding far away. "Let's sit her down. Quinn can you hear me?"

Quinn shivered as Julian touched her, his face so near hers, she could feel his breath on her skin. Julian lifted her up and carried her to the chair. She wanted to wrap her arms around him, hold him close, and never let him go. She felt so safe in his arms. He had always made her feel so protected and loved, her white knight, the daddy she always wanted.

"Julian. Please help Sam," Quinn said weakly, her voice fading as she felt another wave of nausea hit.

"What are you taking? Medication from the hospital?" asked Julian peering into her eyes.

"They sedated her when they brought her back from court. I know that much," replied Artie.

"Tell me again why she is not under medical supervision? I thought you were supposed to be helping her," snapped Julian.

"I am helping her. I'm here aren't I?" Artie snapped back.

"I assume you didn't know she left the hospital. Or was it your big plan to let a woman on mind altering drugs run the streets of Lima?"

"Didn't you use to live with Quinn? You should know better than anyone that you can't tell her what to do. I've only known her a week and I can already see that," retorted Artie.

They argued over her head. Quinn groggily tried to follow their back and forth but her head was spinning wildly and her vision was starting to blur.

"It's the tea. Just making me a little hot. I always liked cocoa better. Remember Julian?"

"What kind of tea did you give her Beiste?" asked Julian stroking the hair out of Quinn's face. "Maybe it is reacting with her medication."

"Just plain Lipton black tea," answered Beiste.

"That shouldn't have caused a reaction. We have to get her to the hospital."

"We need a way to get her back in without causing any issues. Clearly it can't be known where she was tonight," stated Artie.

"Julian will help us," Quinn insisted.

She knew her white knight wouldn't let her down. She looked up at Julian hoping to see the love in his eyes, the look that always used to be there. Instead she was met with coldness, as he looked back at her blankly. It hurt Quinn to see him so withdrawn, to know that once again she had been careless with someone's heart.

"Are you sure you want to involve him Quinn? He is Mercedes' dad."

"Julian would never do anything to hurt me," she said fighting to keep her eyes open and resist the darkness that was threatening to overtake her.

"I'm trusting you with this man. Will you help us?" Artie asked looking over at Julian.

"Don't worry. Julian will save me and he will save Sam."

She prayed to God that the Julian she used to know was still in there somewhere, that her white knight would save them all.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

It had been hours she'd been like this, cuddled next to him in bed, their heads sharing one pillow, with only a small lamp illuminating the room. Someone had turned off the television, probably Cheryl, she always said that every mind needs moments of peace, constant stimulation wasn't good for anyone. Mercedes of course disagreed, wanting Sam to always be surrounded by the sights and sounds of life, and more importantly she didn't want him to be alone. With Marcel fired, there had been no one to stay the night with Sam. The nights were always the worst. Dark and shadowy, dangers swift and sudden, starlight offered no protection from the perils of the night.

Mercedes had stepped away for just a little while, maybe an hour, to go see Quinn, and look what happened. The night encroached and fed on Sam, mocking Mercedes for even leaving him alone and vulnerable. Not that she truly believed if she had been in the room, that Sam wouldn't have gotten sick. Infection is the persistent enemy of the bed ridden, but she couldn't help but feel that if her focus had been on Sam and not Quinn things might have been different. Maybe she would have noticed the signs sooner, and the germs wouldn't have seized his body so quickly.

Less than twelve hours and Sam's organs were already starting to shut down. His body was too weak to fight the assault and function normally. Sepsis. The word his doctors were bandying about in hushed tones. Mercedes was a nurse, she didn't need to strain to hear their discussion. She knew what was happening to her husband. Something she had fought vigorously to prevent. Sam was constantly rotated to prevent bedsores, his muscles were worked out at periodic intervals to prevent atrophy. He was meticulously groomed and cleaned to prevent any bacteria from taking hold. Yet one had, somehow, despite all of their efforts.

She kissed Sam's forehead, as she moved closer to him, her arms wrapped around his upper body. He was still so warm. "Stay with me baby," she whispered her eyes heavy with fatigue.

Sleep would be impossible however, it always was. Her body relaxed and her mind was transported, to that night, and to Sam, lying motionless on the ground, bloody. She couldn't manage to sleep without seeing those images. In her dreams he never moved, he never made it to the hospital, he was dead. At least when she was awake, she knew that it wasn't true, that Sam was still here with her. It wasn't that she never slept. She managed to grab moments here and there, when her body forced itself to shut down, but she never felt rested when she awoke. There was never any peace since that night. Except for when she was with him. In his bed, feeling him beside her, the rhythm of his breathing, holding him close, she managed to relax and to even sleep sometimes.

Sam shifted beside her, his slow movements jarring Mercedes from her thoughts. He had brought his arm up over his chest, resting it on top of her own. It almost felt like an embrace. The last time they had been in bed like this, before the accident, was the night she found out he had slept with Quinn. They had a special night planned, dinner and dancing at BreadStix, followed by a surprise that Sam had planned for her.

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><p><em>He came out of the bathroom in black dress slacks, his pale blue shirt unbuttoned, his hair falling in his face, damp from the shower. She had just finished her hair, the curls cascading down her back. She was slipping into her short black dress when he stepped beside her.<em>

_"We're going to be late. What took you so long in there?" Mercedes asked as she slid her arm into her sleeveless dress._

_"It takes time to perfect this look," he said his eyes crinkling as he smiled._

_"Yeah right. I swear you take longer in the bathroom than most women." She ran her fingers through his damp hair affectionately before tugging him closer by his open shirt and placing a quick kiss on his lips._

_"Who cares if we're late? I rented out the private room at BreadStix. We can arrive any time we want."_

_"I know but I want to hurry up and get to my surprise. Help me with my zipper."_

_"Yes my love," he moved her hair aside, and planted a feather soft kiss on her shoulder, before focusing on her zipper._

_When his motions stilled, Mercedes twisted to look at him. "What's wrong?"_

_"You're wearing the blue."_

_"You like?" she asked suggestively._

_She felt Sam run his hands across her bare back, his thumbs following the column of her spine, stopping just beneath the clasp of her teal blue bra. "You know it's my favorite."_

_"You can enjoy imagining it under my dress all night. Now zip me up so we can go."_

_"I never had much of an imagination," he said turning her around and sweeping her up into his arms, as if she were weightless. "I'm going to enjoy you in this right now."_

_"What about our reservations?"_

_"If you really wanted to eat, you should have known better than to wear my favorite lingerie," he said, his voice laced with desire as he adjusted her in his arms._

_"Sam –"_

_He leaned in and kissed her fully cutting off her words as he carried her over to their bed._

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><p>She wiped the tears from her eyes. It was the last time they were truly happy together. Life had changed dramatically after that. She never did get that surprise.<p>

"I promise we will have that again. Just come back to me." She planted kisses on his cheek, and along his jawline hoping this time he would stir, that he would respond to the feel of her lips against him.

"Hey Mercedes," said Julian Jones as he entered the room.

"Hi dad." She abruptly sat up, attempting to change from the intimate position she was just in, praying her father hadn't heard any of what she had said. She hadn't been expecting any visitors.

Julian walked over and pulled the chart from the foot of the bed. "How's he doing?"

"Doesn't seem to be any improvement yet." Sam looked flushed, completely covered under sheets and a homemade quilt that Sam's great-aunt Gretchen had made decades ago.

"In about an hour we'll start him on dialysis. We still need to keep an eye on his lungs though."

Mercedes ran her hand over the blues and greens of the quilt, liking the softness of the cotton fabric on her skin. "He's going to pull through this."

"Baby girl we can put a little cot in here for you. You don't have to squeeze into that bed," said Julian as he sat in the chair beside the bed.

"I like being close to him."

"Mercedes –"

She cut him off before he could continue. "Can we not do this again? I know you don't like me being Sam's primary care nurse. You think I'm too close to be objective."

"Yep I do."

"And you're right. I'm not objective, but I can handle it."

"I'm not convinced you can. You look so tired. I'm worried about you."

Mercedes reached over and grabbed her father's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Don't be."

"Let's do this," said Julian sitting up straighter in the chair. "You go home and sleep in your own bed for just a few hours and I'll stay here with Sam."

"I'm not leaving him dad."

"You've got to get some sleep. You're going to make yourself sick. Just a little rest. How about in the on call room?"

"Stop worrying about me. I'm fine." She absently stroked Sam's hair, letting the silky dark blond spikes run through her fingers. She had been keeping his hair short for the past few months, after letting it grow past his shoulders. It was just getting too hard to manage at that length. So she buzzed it off herself, not quite salon quality but Mercedes thought she had done a pretty good job.

"Mercedes this is too much. It has been months. You spend almost all your time here and when you're not here you're taking care of a baby. How much longer are you going to go on like this?"

"For as long as it takes for Sam to come back to me." She kissed Sam on the forehead before she climbed out of the bed and walked over to the window, opening the blinds. The sun had come up.

"What if –" Julian started.

"Don't say it. I don't want talk like that in front of him."

"What if it takes years?" he asked lowering his voice. "Would you really spend your whole life taking care of Sam?"

"I would do anything for him. He's the love of my life."

It felt good to finally say the words out loud. She had always felt foolish for feeling so strongly for Sam, especially in their early days when he was clearly in love with someone else. But nothing seemed to shake the feelings for Sam from her heart. Not even when she was scared as hell, running to Shane, because suddenly everything with Sam had become too real. She had never stopped loving him. He had always been everything she had ever wanted, even when she fought like crazy for him not to be.

"You're so young sweetheart. How do you even know that?" asked Julian turning to face her in the chair.

"I watched him die that night." The words caught in her throat as she remembered him on the wet ground, not breathing. So very still. "After that I just knew I didn't want to spend my life without him."

"It is just guilt. It's killing you."

"What if it were someone you loved in here instead? What about Quinn, she's family to you. Would you just walk away from her?"

"I don't want to talk about Quinn." Julian got up from his chair and walked over to where Mercedes was leaning on the window sill.

"I know you love her and pretend not to anymore. You have to still care about her. You can't just shut feelings off. In your heart she's like a daughter."

"Quinn killed any affection I had for her the night she slept with your husband and got pregnant with his baby. She destroyed our family and wrecked Puck's life."

"So you're telling me you don't care at all. If she needed you. You would what? Just turn your back on her?"

"This isn't about Quinn. This is about my twenty year old daughter holding on to something that may not be real." Julian pulled Mercedes into his arms and held her close.

"Sam's coming back to me. I know it," she said as she hugged him tighter.

"I know it too. My son's fighting his way back to you, to all of us. He's no quitter," said Sue as she walked through the door, her long brown leather coat flapping against the shopping bag in her hand as she moved.

"Sue," said Julian curtly, releasing Mercedes from his hug.

"Julian," said Sue, never looking him in the eyes, instead walking directly over to Sam's bed and taking a seat in the chair. "Any change?"

"He still has a fever. He's having some kidney failure so we are going to start dialysis."

"It's going to help. Take some pressure off his body so he can fight the infection better," said Mercedes trying to reassure Sue as well as herself.

"How did this even happen?" asked Sue taking Sam's hand. "I know he has a risk of pneumonia and he has fought that before. But this? It's like his body is under attack." She leaned over and ran her hand along Sam's cheek, watching him closely.

Julian's tone turned professional. He smoothed out his scrubs as he walked over to Sue to address her questions. "Sam is relying on tubes for his nourishment and other bodily functions. Even under the most sterile conditions germs can get into the body. We're thinking maybe his stomach plug could have been an entry point. Although it could have been anything really. He has constant visitors. One of us could have brought something in."

"So how do we beat this Julian? Drugs?"

"He's on antibiotics and we are trying to replenish his fluids intravenously, keep his blood pressure steady. I don't want to lie to you Sue. We are fighting a major battle here."

"Good thing Sam was a soldier. He can handle any battle that comes his way," said Mercedes.

"That's right sweetie. Sam is strong."

"I've got to check on some other patients," announced Julian as he turned to leave. "Think about what I said Mercedes and please go get a little rest."

"Bye dad. I love you."

"Love you too."

Mercedes took a seat on the foot of Sam's bed as she watched Julian go out of the door. "I thought you were going home Sue.

"I couldn't stay away. I brought Sam some new pajamas." Sue pulled them out of the bag and handed them to Mercedes.

"They're plaid flannel Sam," said Mercedes turning to show him. "Your favorite."

"You look tired. Still not sleeping?"

Mercedes leaned across the end of the bed, her hands rubbing Sam's leg as she talked. "Here and there."

"I told you to go get a prescription."

"I need to be alert for Beth."

"I'll take Beth for a night. You take a pill and get some rest."

She leaned her forehead against Sam's leg for a moment. She felt him move slightly beneath her. "I'm fine. Seriously."

"Beiste told me you're still sleeping on the couch."

"It's just easier. Right in the center of things."

"What about sleeping in one of the other bedrooms. Or you can stay at the mansion or with me."

"I doubt you want me as a roommate."

"I used to live with Dwight. I think I can handle you."

"Thanks for the offer but I want to stay close to Beiste."

"When my first husband died, Mike's father, I couldn't sleep on his side of the bed for months." Sue looked down and sighed. "I would pile clothes, books, whatever just to fill the space he left."

"Must have been hard losing him," said Mercedes quietly. She couldn't imagine having to endure life without Sam. Having him in the hospital had been hard enough.

"It was. When someone is such a big part of your life sometimes its hard to cope with sudden changes. I think the mind tries to protect itself from pain."

"I'm not crazy. I just have a lot going on," said Mercedes running her hands along Sam's leg. "That's why I haven't been sleeping well. When things slow down I'll be fine."

"You mean when Sam wakes up. Sam probably hates you're doing this to yourself. Don't you baby?" Sue asked Sam stroking his hair. "He's burning up."

Mercedes got up and grabbed a cold compress from the bedside table and placed it across Sam's head. "Hopefully this medicine will kick in soon. We've just got to give it time."

"Good thing I never tried to get rid of you," said Sue grabbing Mercedes's hand. She released it quickly, running her hands through her hair, looking almost self-conscious for initiating the gesture.

"What?"

"Let's not play coy. You know how protective I am of my children, especially Sam. I have to keep all the cheap gold digging sluts at bay. They swarm him like flies."

Mercedes returned to her seat at the end of the bed. "I'm not after Sam's money."

"I know that now. But I'm sure it's no surprise to you that I didn't approve of you for Sam."

"You faked it pretty well."

"I actually was hoping you would leave him at that altar," chuckled Sue as she took off her coat and leaned back in the chair.

Mercedes opened and closed her mouth in shock. She couldn't believe any mother would want to see their child hurt in that way. Even Sue.

"I thought he would be better off. Every woman in his past had left him broken and looking foolish. I wanted to avert disaster."

"I don't know what to say to that." Mercedes couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt, knowing she too had been a member of that exclusive club of women who had hurt Sam Evans. She had never wanted to be a person that could break his heart, but she had.

"Believe me, if I had known about all that nonsense with Shane Tinsley, I would've come after you."

"What I did to Sam was unforgivable."

"So when I learned about all that business with Quinn. I was sort of relieved. I thought you had done my job for me and extricated yourself from my son's life. I knew there was no way you would take him back. Of course I would have to deal with Quinn again but I can handle her in my sleep."

"All your plans have been such raving successes," said Mercedes sarcastically.

"Did you know the day of the accident Sam came to see me? He told me you had served him with divorce papers. He was devastated, drinking heavily. He kept going on and on about how love is a lie and that he was doomed to live his life alone. That it was payment for all of his sins."

"He felt cursed." Mercedes knew the feeling all too well.

"Exactly. I thought we were heading for another Quinn level meltdown. I hadn't seen him that low since that bitch destroyed his life when he was in high school. You were firmly on my hit list. Because yet again I was forced to help my son pick up the pieces after another unworthy tramp had broken his spirit."

Mercedes watched the tears spill from Sue's eyes and she couldn't help but react with tears of her own, imagining Sam in such pain. Even though he had hurt her terribly, she still never could bear to think of him hurting. It had been such a strange condition loving and hating Sam Evans all at once.

"Sam had hurt me. He wasn't the only one in pain."

"I didn't care about you and your petty emotions. My son was a mess," said Sue bitterness and pain evident in her voice. "So I told him he would find someone better. Someone truly worthy of his love. And that he was better off without you. Then he said something that broke my heart. He said that I didn't understand that you were the only person that had ever looked at him like he was a good man. Like he was someone special, good enough to give your whole life to, to start a family with. He said every time you looked at him he felt truly loved. Like he was your everything."

Mercedes got up and kissed Sam tenderly, his lips motionless under her own. "My Sammy," she whispered as she looked at him, his face so peaceful despite the war raging within his body.

"When I found out you caused the accident I wanted you dead. Dwight literally had to contain me because you were going to be over."

Mercedes sat down next to Sam on the bed, facing Sue, trying to stifle the tears that had started to fall uncontrollably. She drifted back to a conversation she had with Will that night, before it all went wrong.

* * *

><p><em>"I won't feel better until he is back here with us."<em>

_"Same here, kiddo. But this is going to work. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner. He could've already been at the hospital."_

_"He's lost so much blood, Will."_

_"He's strong. He's a fighter. No way in hell he'd leave you like this."_

_"I don't want to lose him."_

_"You won't. I promise you that."_

_"I need to go tell him something."_

_"When he comes down. They've already started."_

_"I don't like this. Make them stop Will."_

_"Mercedes it'll be fine trust – oh my God."_

_"Sam!"_

_"Bring it down! Bring it down!"_

_"Help him! Sam! Sam!_

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><p>Their words replayed in her head like echoes in a tunnel, hollow and distorted. A horrifying nightmare that she could never shut off, it never stopped. Over and over she relived it. She had done this to him.<p>

"I watched you with Sam those first few days in the hospital. Never leaving his side, so involved in his treatment, standing up for him when the doctors were trying to give up on him," said Sue as she looked over at Sam, wiping at the tears on her face with a tissue.

"He's my husband."

"You impressed me. Still kind of thought it was just guilt so I kept an eye on you."

Mercedes looked down at her feet, unable to meet Sue's eyes. "So you tolerate me because I'm nursing your son."

"I tolerate you because you love my son."

"Always have," she responded quietly.

"I overheard you in here with him once. It was late and you were sitting in the bed next to him just talking."

"When was this?"

"A while ago. I heard you tell him you need him to wake up and come back to you. You said you needed him to open his eyes and look at you like he used to. Then what you said next…let's just say you won me over."

Mercedes closed her eyes, remembering that night. Sam had been comatose for about two months and she was so scared that he wasn't going to hold on. All the doctors had kept telling her the longer he stayed in the coma the less likely he would ever recover. She couldn't accept that. She remembered sitting in the dark with him that night, holding his hand, pleading with him to come back to her.

"I told him he needed to open his eyes and look at me again because no one ever looked at me the way he did. That he made me feel so cherished and loved, like I was actually a good person, good enough to be with him. When he looked at me I felt like I was special like I meant everything to him."

"Thank you for that. It's all I've ever wanted for him, to be loved completely."

"I just want him back Sue." They both turned to look at Sam. He remained, motionless except the soft rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. "I'd do anything to make that happen."

"I know you would honey." She rubbed Mercedes's knee in comfort. "Love that is true will come back to you. Believe that."

"Is that from a fortune cookie?"

"Something my mother used to say. I've never forgotten it." Sue looked down at her phone. "Looks like I've been summoned."

"A new boyfriend missing you?" asked Mercedes with a small smile.

"No. It's Dwight. He wants me at the mansion and you too. Says it is important."

It wasn't like Dwight to send early morning text messages, or any text messages for that matter. Mercedes suddenly felt sick to her stomach. Something was wrong. Fear consumed her as she tried to figure out what it could possibly be.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

At least the walls weren't yellow. Pale blue, no window, but a really bright fluorescent light over head. She had spent the night there, in this small hospital room, alone, with only her thoughts to keep her company. She was under observation, poked and prodded for hours. Now all she could do was wait, for someone to come back, and tell her just what was wrong with her. Her nerves had gotten the better of her so she used the phone that was in the room and called Santana.

"Thanks for coming Santana."

"You think I'd miss breakfast with my best girl friend?" asked Santana from her position at the end of the bed. She had kicked off her shoes and made herself comfortable.

"Hanging out in a hospital room is no fun. Plus I am sucky company. I feel like crap."

"At least you didn't get your stomach pumped."

"True. I did spend the night talking to the walls though."

"So what was up with that? They said you were found wandering the streets."

Quinn widened her eyes in surprise. "Who said that?"

"Uh the paper, the news, the internet. You're the talk of the day. I guess I should be asking you for your autograph. You're famous or is it infamous?"

"Oh God Santana. How did the news find out?"

"Sweetie the media is camped out across the street from this place. And you just waltzed right out the front door. What did you expect?"

"I didn't think anyone would notice."

"Well someone did. Journalists tend to be a stealthy lot. Never let on they're tailing you."

"They followed me? What did the article say?"

Quinn's heart pounded in her chest as she imagined what the paper said about her. She was going to be totally screwed if they followed her to Coach B's house. How would she ever explain being there to the judge?

Santana reached in her bag and pulled out her phone and handed it to Quinn. "Front page picture of you, hoodie and glasses. Nice look by the way. Nerd chic is still hot."

Quinn groaned as she scrolled through the article on Santana's phone. "Just says I was wandering the street in the cold with no coat."

"You were right? Or is there more to the story? Where did you really go Quinn?"

She didn't want to lie to Santana, but she had no choice. The less people who knew about what happened last night the better. She didn't want to risk anyone having to testify against her in court, if it came to that. Hopefully Coach B, Artie and Julian would keep things quiet. She had managed to sneak back in the hospital without incident. Julian had carried her in saying he found her disoriented in the street. He started barking orders and no one questioned a thing. She guessed it paid to be a world renowned surgeon.

"I think the medicine had me out of my head. Things are fuzzy," lied Quinn.

"Right. So uh do you know about Sam?" asked Santana.

Quinn tried to look as innocent as possible. She had refrained from bringing up Sam the whole time, even though she was so worried about him. She couldn't let on to Santana that she had already known that Sam was sick. She was supposed to have been out of it last night. So she held her tongue.

"How is he? Is something wrong?"

"He's not doing well at all," said Santana sadly. "Puck and I checked on him before I came up to see you."

"Puck's here?"

"He got called to the house by Dwight. They all did."

"Family meeting?

She hoped that meeting wasn't about her and her little visit to see Beth last night. She could picture Dwight gathering the troops to plot her demise. If he ever found out that she had snuck into Beiste's he would make her life a living hell. Worse than it already was.

"I guess. Oh I know," said Santana perking up. "Now could be a really good time to go see Sam. His little wifey went to Dwight's too. We can go in and see him in the flesh."

"I better not. I've done enough damage already." Quinn slumped down in the bed pulling the blankets around her.

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes I sneak out and see him at night. I'm probably the reason he's sick. I contaminated him or something."

"He has visitors all the time. Mercedes won't let him have a moment's peace. She always wants someone there. If he got sick from being around people its her fault, not yours."

"Do you know what's wrong with him?" asked Quinn praying that it was nothing serious.

"Puck was saying something like a blood infection. I think sepsis?"

Quinn sat up in alarm. "What? Oh my God!"

"I take it you know what that is."

"I do and it's really bad. What if something happens to him? What will Beth and I do?"

Quinn inwardly cringed as she realized how selfish she was being. She really did care about Sam and wanted him to get well, but she had so many other things to handle. Time was running out and she could be shipped away to a mental hospital for years to come. Her baby would essentially be an orphan. As much as she cared about Sam, that just took precedence in her mind. She needed him to be okay. If not for her, then for Beth.

Santana patted Quinn's leg reassuringly. "He'll pull through this."

"This is all my fault."

"Quinn I told you. He has visitors all the time."

"That's not what I mean. It's my fault he's in a coma."

Santana sat up and crossed her legs Indian style, her arms draped across the footboard of the bed. "No that would be his wife's fault. Puck told me she was driving the car that night."

"It's my fault because I hooked up with Mike."

"Ok. You lost me."

"In high school things were good between Sam and me, but there was always this thing with Puck that I couldn't ignore."

He had been so infuriating. How he always popped up unexpectedly, how he constantly challenged her choices, how he questioned why she was with Sam. Quinn had wanted to hate him on sight, to dislike him just because he was such a know it all, but she never could quite manage the hate part. As much as she wanted to deny it, Puck knew her in a way no one else did. It was like he could see inside her, and hear her music. It sounded unbelievably corny then and still did, but she and Puck were just connected on this other level. It was something she never could really define. It just was. Until it wasn't.

Santana smiled. "Puck does have that effect on women."

"While I hated hurting Sam, I just couldn't deny what I felt for Puck. But when I came back to Lima, when things with Puck fell apart that first time, Sam was there for me. I started feeling more for him again. I think maybe even more than I did in high school."

"I remember your sexcapades vividly," chuckled Santana. "I was always kinda surprised you and Sam never took it further. Made it official."

Sam would look at her with those intense green eyes and she felt like her heart would stop just waiting to see what he would do next. He had been so unpredictable to her, familiar and new all at once. The years had taken the boy she had loved and shaped him into a colder, harder, and stronger man. An undeniably sexy man. That was what had thrown Quinn the most. Sam used to be sweet and earnest, he now was fierce and seductive. He wore his sexuality like a badge. He had a newfound swagger and his voice had deepened. Everything became laced with innuendo, a subtle promise of the pleasures he could provide and when he licked his lips and flashed that killer smile, Quinn just knew he could back it all up. It didn't take long before she was in his bed, screaming his name, begging him to never stop. She wanted more of him, all of him, anything with him. She had fallen hard.

"There was so much confusion back then. He started dating that college girl, Penny and I didn't know what to think."

"You never asked him? Like how he felt about you?"

"You know me. Leap first, look later. We didn't have "the talk" until after I had started things with Mike."

"You and Mike were just a one off at first right? Couldn't you and Sam have worked things out after that?"

"I was afraid. He'd taken up with this other woman he was acting so distant even when we were sleeping together. We weren't connecting. It was like he was holding back with me."

There was a distance, though he still was supportive, her constant champion. He bent over backwards to make her feel special and wanted, but he never truly let her in. He never let her get too close. Always a part of him she couldn't touch. Quinn figured that time would close that gap, but then there was Penny, later Mike, and finally nothing.

"Well he had been through a lot back then. That was around the time he broke up with Brittany right?"

"Yes, and I was trying to get over Puck, but still it was…us. No matter what Sam and I have always been close. I've always been able to share anything with him. And it felt like things were changing. I started to freak out a little I guess, because I wanted him in my life more than anything. And I started to think, what if becoming more...a couple...what if it messed us up for good? What if we couldn't survive another break up? I was so afraid to chance it, even though my heart wanted to try again with him so much."

"Enter Mike," smirked Santana.

Tears filled Quinn's eyes as she spoke. "I made that choice. It was safer in the long run to just keep Sam as a friend."

They were left with the unfulfilled promise of second chances never taken. Love never spoken. But at least the friendship remained. And that was enough. It had to be.

"I actually can relate. I was with Brittany when Puck came back into my life. Puck had always meant so much to me. I loved him and there was a time I would've done anything to be with him."

"I remember."

"Yeah sorry. Nothing personal sweetie. I just was consumed by him. You kind of got caught in the crossfire."

At first it had been strange calling a truce with Santana and becoming her friend. Now it was hard for Quinn to think of life without her. Santana had been there for her during some of the toughest times of her life. Of course she hadn't forgotten how Santana tried to destroy her to get to Puck, but Quinn didn't judge. She really couldn't. If Santana only knew how much in common they had now, they would really have something to laugh about. Quinn knew all too well what it felt like to be consumed, to lose control, to want to destroy.

"What's a few catfights between friends?"

"I've made it up to you right?" asked Santana tentatively.

"Yes that file you slipped in with that lip gloss was so great. Thank you." They both looked up at each other and broke into laughter.

"I'm glad we can talk about all of this now and laugh. I'm surprised I don't want to claw your eyes out."

"Huh?"

"Well because of Puck. I know how he feels about you," said Santana softly.

"Nothing's going on with me and Puck. We're just friends."

"You have this special place in his heart. Sometimes I catch him looking at you and I just feel…."

"Santana I promise you nothing is going on," interrupted Quinn.

"For you maybe. But for Puck," she sighed. "He's always gonna love you more than he'll ever love me."

"Santana…"

"Hey I can accept it. Part of me always knew it. That's why I kept hooking up with Brittany even when Puck begged me not to. I knew if I got involved with Puck in that way, I would lose him. I would do something to screw things up and he would never speak to me again. I couldn't risk it. He had already got past so much."

"You didn't think you could survive another blow," said Quinn as if finishing Santana's thought.

"Yeah," she agreed.

"I can't believe I'm about to admit this," Quinn took a deep breath and tucked her hair behind her ears. "Lately I've been starting to think I should've taken that chance with Sam. We might've gotten married and our little miracle would have been born sooner, without all the drama. Mercedes would've never even been on his radar and he never would have been in that car. He would've been home with me and our daughter. Happy and safe."

"That's a lovely thought. One thing though. What about Puck? This little rewrite of your history erases not only Mike but also Puck and that second chance that led to your engagement. Would you really be willing to give up having loved him?"

"I hurt him so much and when I look at him now it's like he never loved me more than a friend. And I think maybe we both would be better off if we had never gotten together. Then I imagine my life without all of those amazing times I shared with Puck and I can't do it. I wouldn't trade in those days for anything."

"Even if it meant you could save Sam?" asked Santana.

Quinn paused at that question, uncertain how to respond. Would she really give up all she used to have with Puck for Sam? Could a lifetime with Sam, compare to her protracted and breathtaking time with Puck?

She wanted to believe that all the answers were with Sam, that he would be the one to bring her and Beth back together and help them build a stable life. She wanted to have faith in their history and unending connection, proof he would never let her down. She desperately needed to hold on to Sam and all they ever meant to each other. It had to count for something. But in Quinn's experience putting faith in any man only led to heartbreak, especially in a man that wasn't really hers to hold in the first place.


	29. Chapter 29

Thank you for reading and commenting. I am on a mini posting spree today...so be warned.

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><p><strong>Chapter 29<strong>

Santana stretched out her long legs beside Quinn's in the small hospital bed, her back against the footboard so she could face Quinn. "It's getting a little intense in here, all of this sharing."

"I know," giggled Quinn as she wiped the remaining tears from her eyes. "We are like some sappy chick flick."

"So not us. We are more like Thelma and Louise. Taking the world by storm, showing the men we are in control – "

"Going out in a blaze of glory?"

"You've got to admit we know how to hit rock bottom in style. Prison –"

"The psych ward."

"Nothing keeps us down for long."

"Now you sound like Oprah, all inspirational and uplifting."

"Hey! It's early and I haven't had my first martini of the day yet."

"What I wouldn't do for a drink right now." Quinn closed her eyes. She could almost feel the warm sting of a cocktail in her mouth.

"Just say the word, I can make that happen. Smuggle in cosmos in a thermos. Say it's chicken soup." Quinn tried to stifle her laughter, covering her mouth with her hand. Santana was so crazy. She always managed to make her feel better.

He popped his head in the door, his neatly trimmed mustache and goatee framing his face, his brown eyes darkened, absent was their usual sparkle.

"Julian?" He hovered by the door, almost seeming reluctant to come in.

Quinn adjusted her hospital gown suddenly embarrassed by her appearance. It was silly really. Julian had seen her looking much worse. He had delivered her baby and that night he said she looked more beautiful than ever and that motherhood suited her. That was before he found out Beth wasn't Puck's daughter, of course. She doubted he had looked at her the same since then.

Santana turned toward the door taking him in. "We need to get you a little collar with a bell. So we can hear you coming."

"I didn't mean to interrupt," he said to Santana. "I need to speak to Quinn for a minute. I've got to get over to Dwight's."

He adjusted his light brown leather jacket as he stepped closer to the bed. Julian had on faded jeans and boots. His green button down hugged his well toned chest, the last few bottom buttons left undone, revealing his flat stomach as he moved.

"Oh you were invited to the powwow too?" asked Santana. "Now I'm truly offended. I thought it was family only. Quinn is Sam's baby mama, that has to count for something." She stood up and smoothed out her clothes, before searching for her shoes.

"Can you just give us a moment Santana?" asked Quinn.

"Sure thing." She threw her bag over her arm, while grabbing her coat from the chair. "I'll go and grab us some coffee from the Lima Bean. Later doc."

"So what did you need to talk to me about?" asked Quinn forcing Julian to turn his attention to her. He had been awkwardly staring at the floor, once they were alone, the ever present tension at an even higher level than normal.

His eyes met hers briefly, before he quickly looked away. "Your test results."

"Am I really sick? Do I have something contagious?"

"Contagious? What would make you think that?"

"Just that Sam is sick."

His eyes narrowed as he spoke. "What does Sam's condition have to do with you?"

"You know hospitals. Germs. Nevermind. I'm just being stupid." Quinn tried to cover. She had forgotten that no one knew she had gone to visit Sam. She had almost let it slip. "So what were the results?"

Julian pulled the chart from the foot of the bed. Taking a pen from his pocket he began to write.

"You had an allergic reaction to the medication. It appears that your regular course of drugs interacted with the extra dosage they gave you after court and it caused the dizziness, nausea and the extreme behavior."

"Allergic reaction? You mean I was overdosed." Quinn had been taking the same drugs for months. Why would she suddenly develop an allergy? Something didn't seem right.

"It was a reaction," repeated Julian. He placed her chart back in its spot on the bed.

"Trying to cover the hospital's ass?"

The hospital had probably messed up somehow and Julian was part of the cover up. One thing Quinn had learned in her weeks at Lima University Hospital was that things were not all above board as they appeared. Money and influence seemed to almost have more importance than patient care in the place. Not surprising since Dwight Evans practically ran the board. All the little extras she had received for being associated with the Evans family were proof of their widespread influence. So covering up negligence wouldn't be beyond the realm of possibility at the hospital.

"No I'm trying to cover yours. What the hell were you doing at Beiste's last night?" he asked lowering his voice.

"I went to see my daughter," she answered quietly.

"More like kidnap her. I'm not an idiot Quinn." Julian leaned over the back of the chair, his arms folded in front of him. "I know you think my daughter is trying to take your baby."

"She is. She wants Beth to be her own. Everyone can stay in denial but I know the truth."

"You'll get no disagreement from me." Quinn looked over at Julian in shock. "I think Mercedes should just hand Beth over to someone else. She's getting too attached."

"Is that why you helped me get back in here? So I can get back my daughter?"

Could Julian really be on her side after all? Maybe her white knight was still in there somewhere and he wanted to help reunite her with Beth. He did agree to sneak her back into the hospital last night. That had to mean something.

"I helped you because you were sick. I'm a doctor."

"No other reason?" she asked tentatively, looking into his eyes. Quinn was starting to feel like things could be looking up. Maybe there was some hope for reconciliation.

"Like what?" Their eyes locked. Quinn looked away first, focusing on some imaginary lint in her lap.

"Maybe because you still care?" She ran her hand through her hair nervously, as she sneaked a sideways glance at him.

Julian shook his head in disbelief, laughing humorlessly. "You think I have time to care about you?" he spat, the words hitting Quinn like a punch. "My daughter has been curled up in a bed with a comatose man for almost 9 months. She barely eats, barely sleeps, does nothing but worry about him." Quinn's gut twisted at the image. Lovers intertwined, trapped in permanent slumber.

"Her life is over. It just stopped the minute Sam got hurt. And now she's taking care of your ba…" he stumbled over his words, pain evident in his voice. "Your baby on top of everything else."

Quinn's eyes filled with tears as she watched Julian grow more upset. She had hurt him so badly, and he was still in pain. "I never asked her to take Beth. That was her choice."

"The baby was living in her house day in and day out. Then she sees you flipping out with your crazy bullshit. You think she'd do nothing? Her heart's too big to let a child suffer."

Julian shook with anger, his eyes filled with tears, his chest heaving. Quinn couldn't bear to see him this upset. Julian was always so calm and in control.

"You don't care about Beth at all? You used to think of her like your grandchild."

The night of the accident Quinn had found out she was pregnant. Overjoyed and scared out of her mind, she had rushed to Julian's house to share the news with Puck. At his door she froze, reality came crashing in. What if Puck didn't care she was pregnant? What if nothing would change and he still wanted her out of his life? What if the baby wasn't his?

Leaning against the front door of Julian's home, Quinn had called Sam in desperate need for his advice. He would know what she should do next. Sam had always been great at making sense of the chaos of her life. But he never picked up, his recorded greeting on his voicemail providing little solace for Quinn, so she hung up. She took it as a sign. Sam wasn't there so the baby had to be Puck's.

Looking back now it seemed like truly foolish logic, but then it was all she had. Her miracle baby was the key to getting her life back with Puck. It was the only thing that made sense. And it had worked, for a time.

"You let us all believe that bastard you made with my daughter's husband was Puck's. You tried to pawn her off on Puck throughout your pregnancy because your precious Sam wasn't around."

Julian walked back and forth like a caged animal, rubbing the back of his neck, his face contorting as his anger intensified.

"That's not true. We had tests. I thought she was Puck's."

"I don't believe anything you say anymore Quinn. It's all lies. I'm just focusing on the kid that's actually a part of my family. The one that's killing herself over Sam. I sometimes wish that he…"

"That he what? That he were dead?" she asked tears streaming down her face, horrified at the thought.

"Maybe if he never made it out of that accident. It would have saved us from all of this hell."

Quinn felt sick to her stomach, repulsed by what she was hearing. Nothing she and Sam had done was worth dying over. They had made a mistake, but it wasn't intentional. Julian was acting like they had deliberately set out to hurt people.

"How can you say that? This is not you. You save lives."

"That's right I save lives and Sam is here now. I pray to God every day that he doesn't die. I wish I could wave my hand over his bed and get him to wake the hell up. Because I know if Sam died now, Mercedes would go with him."

"You think she'd kill herself?" A chill ran through Quinn's body.

She had been that low before, when it felt like nothing mattered if she couldn't be with Puck. There had been a point when she hated herself so much, she just wanted to end it all. But part of that had to be the PPD. She didn't feel that way anymore. At least not as often.

"I think she'd give up. She's put everything she is into that piece of shit in that bed. There's nothing left for herself. She can't handle the reality that he might not be coming back."

Quinn couldn't imagine Mercedes that distraught. Granted she did really love Sam, the girl had practically stalked him for a year, but that wouldn't make her just want to roll over and die if she couldn't be with him. Mercedes had lived through too much. Quinn had heard the stories and Julian had told her some things. Mercedes wouldn't give up on life if Sam were gone. Julian was just upset and over exaggerating.

"She loves him Julian."

"I don't give a fuck!" He shoved the chair roughly as he yelled. "He used her, cheated on her, had a baby with you! She was almost free of that jackass. Divorce papers filed and this happens."

Quinn couldn't believe Julian didn't seem to understand. Hadn't he ever loved someone so much that you had to cling to them like a life raft, in the fear you might drown without them? It was suddenly clear to Quinn that Julian must have never loved anyone the way Mercedes loved Sam.

"What are you saying?" she sobbed. "Do you hate me too?"

"I don't hate you. I just don't care anymore."

No wonder he had turned on her so abruptly, no wonder he had been so cold and distant when Puck had agreed to take her back for the baby. He had just been going through the motions, pretending they were a family again, probably hiding his silent contempt the whole time. Quinn wanted to curl herself into a ball and just fade away. But she tried to pull herself together and ignore the burning in her chest. She had to think about Beth.

"So I guess I need to ask. Are you going to tell where I was last night?"

Julian gripped the back of the chair, not saying a word. Quinn held her breath, awaiting his response. She prayed Julian would come through for her, just this last time. "I will keep my mouth shut," he said finally.

"Thank you."

"I'm doing it for Mercedes. I want you sane, and out of this hospital. I want Sam up and out of that bed. Then you both can take your child and get the hell out of our lives. My daughter has been through enough. She doesn't need this."

"Julian I'm so sorry. I never meant…"

"Just save it. I don't want to hear any more excuses."

"What's going on in here?" asked Artie as he entered the room, immediately going to Quinn's side. "I could hear yelling all the way down the hall." He looked back and forth between Julian and Quinn in concern.

"I've got to go." Julian headed out the door, never looking back.

"Julian…"Quinn cried as he left. She felt like all the air had left the room with him. She couldn't catch her breath.

"Hey Quinn what's wrong?" Artie took a seat on the bed facing her.

Her shoulders shook as she broke down in tears. She couldn't pretend anymore. "He hates me. He truly hates me."

"Come here," Artie said pulling her into a tight hug, rubbing her back soothingly. "Calm down now. Everything's going to be all right."

"I don't think so Artie. Not this time," she buried her head into his shoulder, her tears soaking into his coat.


	30. Chapter 30

**Thanks for reading and commenting. A little Puckcedes mixed with some Samcedes**

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><p><strong>Chapter 30<strong>

The ride from the hospital to the mansion was uneventful except for Sue's erratic driving while talking loudly to her assistant via the Bluetooth headset clamped to her ear. There were a few times that Mercedes literally had to clutch the armrest, bracing for impact. Her nerves were shot. Didn't take much to rattle her these days, especially while in a car. She didn't drive much anymore, once a month at the most, when she had no other options, and even then it was under extreme duress.

After the accident she didn't even want to get inside a car. She had spent probably the first week at the hospital, never going home at all. And when the time came when she inevitably had to leave, panic started to set in. Mercedes was fully prepared to walk back to Beiste's, because there was no way she was getting in a car, let alone behind the wheel. Puck had forced her though, going on about climbing back up on the saddle. He had driven her around and around the hospital parking lot until Mercedes opened her eyes and unclenched her fists. Then he had taken her home. It wasn't until a few months later, the day Quinn had texted her 911 to come help her when her car broke down and she was having contractions, that Mercedes had driven again. No one was around and she had no other choice, so she climbed into her car and drove. That was the first time she would come to realize that she would do anything for Beth.

Attempting to block out Sue, Mercedes shut her eyes and tried to rest. The conversation she had with Julian was stuck on repeat in her head. Her father always had a way of making her look at things from new angles, for shaking up things she always took for granted as true. He had questioned her motivations for taking care of Sam today. She had quickly dismissed his doubts assuring him that she loved Sam and was in it for the long haul if need be. Although she couldn't help but wonder if she were being completely honest with her father or with herself. Were her feelings for Sam enough to sustain her for years? Sam could remain comatose well into the future. Was she really prepared to give up all of her own dreams to take care of him?

Her heart immediately responded yes. That was a fixed point. She didn't want to live a life without Sam. Her head however, was a completely different matter. Her head was telling her it was insanity to shelve all of her dreams at twenty for a man she had only been married to for a few months before he had fallen ill, a man that had cheated on her and hurt her. It had always come down to these two things for Mercedes, her heart versus her head. She had let her heart win out time and time again with Sam, and each time the cut was a little deeper. Maybe the smart thing would be to listen to her head for once. But her head was leading her toward a life without Sam and that was the last place she ever wanted to be.

She watched Puck get out of his car, black, something sporty. Mercedes wasn't good with cars anymore. She didn't have to be since she no longer was looking to catch a rich man. She already had one, her prince, or more accurately her sleeping beauty.

"What are you doing out here? I thought we were meeting inside." He had his black leather motorcycle jacket zipped all the way up, his hands stuffed in the front pockets of his faded jeans.

"We're waiting for Julian."

"Oh right. Is he stuck at the hospital?"

"You know my dad. Always another patient."

"Still doesn't explain why you're out here in the cold. Come inside."

"I just needed a minute. To just breathe."

"Sam's gonna beat this thing. Don't you worry." He sat down next to her on the stone bench. It was a decorative piece in the highly landscaped yard in front of the house.

"Oh Puck, I hope so. I'm really scared right now."

"What? You? You've been telling us all that Sam is going to make it. Why are you switching gears now?"

"Not switching gears. Just starting to wonder if I've been deluding myself. It's not like I don't understand the medical realities of his situation."

"Where's this coming from? Did something happen? Is he worse?" Puck asked his hazel eyes widening in alarm.

"No no. He's holding steady right now. Started dialysis."

"Okay so why this dark cloud on your mood?" He eyed her suspiciously.

"My dad and I had a little chat."

Puck nodded his head in understanding. "What did he have to say this time?"

"Same spiel. No objectivity, I need to take care of myself. Go home and get some sleep."

"I do agree about the sleep part. You look like shit."

"Gee thanks," she said blandly.

"Just saying." He hugged her around the shoulders quickly before returning his hands back to his pockets. "You seemed to have lost your usual glow."

"I don't feel much like glowing. All the sleep in the world won't change that."

He leaned back against the brick retaining wall behind them, placing one foot up on the bench between them. "You still need to take better care of yourself. I remember when Sam got sick right after your wedding with that infection in his messed up leg. We had to literally drag you out of his hospital room to get a shower and some rest. You didn't want to leave his side for even a minute."

"I spent a week sleeping in a chair, holding his hand. We used to joke and call it our honeymoon suite." She smiled.

Thinking back that time of their lives was like heaven compared to now. If only they had known then what was to come. Maybe they could have braced themselves, shielded each other from the fallout.

* * *

><p><em>"I think I read somewhere that holding hands for prolonged periods of times could cause them to permanently fuse together." Mercedes announced with mock seriousness.<em>

_"You must've read that in a comic book," Sam teased._

_"A medical journal."_

_"C'mon you don't expect me to believe that?"_

_"Just quoting the findings. And we have been holding hands for days now."_

_"I guess we'll just have to get stuck together because I'm not letting go of you ever again."_

_"So you're going to subject us to a life always hand in hand, like those sickening couples that make out in the middle of the mall?"_

_"So be it. I'm not letting go" With her hand firmly in his she got up from the chair to give him a kiss. Mercedes moved in closer to him on the bed. Slowly his free hand inched its way toward her breast. "Although if we're going to get stuck, maybe I will hold on to something better."_

_She swatted at him playfully. "Sam! You've got such a filthy mind."_

_He laughed as she returned to her seat in the chair. "I was a soldier. Besides you're irresistible. You know I can't keep my hands off of you."_

_"You're exhausted and half drugged stuck in a hospital bed, there's no way you're thinking about sex right now."_

_"You're beautiful. How could I not? I can hardly contain myself over here. I want you to climb into the bed next to me."_

_"You're unbelievable."_

_"I can't wait until I'm stronger, so I can have my way with you. But for now… hands only." He beckoned her over and brushed a soft kiss over her lips, careful to avoid his tubes._

_"Hey! I felt that!" Mercedes exclaimed._

_"I don't know what you're talking about Mrs. Evans," he winked._

* * *

><p>"You know I had my doubts, but seeing the two of you together during all of that. You two were the real deal."<p>

"It sure felt like it," Mercedes sighed. "But what if..."

"What if what? What if you two weren't supposed to be together?"

"Yes, no, I don't know. I just keep wondering if maybe I am holding onto something that isn't real."

"Oh that doesn't sound like you at all. Julian said that didn't he?"

Mercedes nodded. "He did. But maybe he's right. What if I am just prolonging the inevitable? What if Sam wakes up and doesn't want me or what if he just breaks my heart all over again? Am I being a fool here Puck?"

"I have had the distinct privilege of having a front row seat to your relationship since almost day one."

"You were there to witness every humiliating time he rejected me for Rachel."

"I saw him fight an attraction to you. Everything you did drove him nuts. And you would provoke him, and he knew you were provoking him, and he still would fall right into your trap. He couldn't help himself."

She looked up at the sky and smiled, remembering their frequent run-ins when she worked at D&E Industries as his administrative assistant. Mercedes used to love testing how far she could push Sam until he broke. He never did though. She was the one that ultimately folded.

"We both were turned on by our little mind games, but that's not the same as loving someone."

"I know how much you loved him. I was there watching when you were desperately trying to get his attention, when you found out he got engaged to Rachel, and then with the sex tape…"

"So I was hopeless. What's your point Puck?"

"You never stopped loving him, through any of it. And I know you tried to get over him. Hell I encouraged you to get over him many times."

"I never could," she said quietly with a hint of a smile.

"You never could."

"Again all that proves is that I'm a sucker stuck in love with a guy that has a long track record of breaking my heart."

"So do you want to walk away now? Is that it? Is this too much for you? You can you know. The family will take good care of him."

Her heart constricted at the thought of leaving Sam behind, of never getting to touch him or see him again. "I couldn't walk away if I wanted to. It's my fault we got in that accident. I can't just forget that."

"All of this is about guilt? That's why you're there day in and day out with him for months?" asked Puck.

"How can I not feel guilty? He almost died because of me." He still could die, she added to herself unable to say those words out loud. She didn't want to give them power, to give the words a chance to be true.

"Let me pose you a hypothetical situation. What if you hadn't been in the car with Sam that night and Sam crashed his car on his own because he was drunk driving and ended up in a coma. Are you telling me you wouldn't care?"

"Of course I'd care."

"Would you not be involved in making him well?"

"I'm a nurse, so I would do what I could. But I don't know. I was divorcing him, would it be my place to do so much for him?"

"You were divorcing him before the accident and you're doing all this for him now. Are you telling me the only reason you care so much is because you were driving instead of him?"

Mercedes ran her hand over her face in frustration. "You're talking in circles. I'm getting confused."

"Let me make it really simple. Would you still be taking care of Sam if you had been divorced at the time of the accident?"

"I don't know why I'm talking to you about this at all. You hate that I still love Sam."

"That's not true. I'm just worried about you."

"You literally buried your head in your hands at just the idea that I wanted to still be with him. It was just the other day."

"I hated what Sam did to you, to us. He was so stupid. He screwed up everything when he slept with Quinn. I was your man of honor at your wedding. I trusted him with your heart, even after all the crap he put you through." Mercedes could tell Puck was still upset. The mess they all had created impacted so many people, Puck included.

"I wasn't completely innocent in it all."

"Doesn't matter. He destroyed your life. Then he gets in this coma and you're doing everything for him."

She glanced over at him. "And you don't think I should be?"

"I wish you didn't have to be. I look at you…dark circles under your eyes. You're losing weight."

"Puck…" she said, resting her chin on his knee. Puck felt like the big brother she always wished he had. She was so grateful for him in her life. They had got along almost from the start. While Sam treated her like the annoying little sister, Puck took her under his wing, pulled her into his life like long lost family. Maybe their bond stemmed from them both having shitty absentee mothers and MIA fathers, or that they both felt like they were drifting through life, whatever the reason, Mercedes was glad for it. She didn't want to imagine her life without Puck in it. Funny to think when she first moved to Lima she had nobody. And now she had this whole support system including a real parent and crazy in-laws.

"I'm being real here. You look like you're starting to waste away, just like he is and I'm scared for you."

"Wasting away? Boy please, with all this?" she asked squeezing her love handles through her coat. "You should be happy I'm losing a few pounds."

"Don't play. You know what I mean. You're not taking care of yourself. I want my beautiful, vibrant, little diva back. We all do." He rubbed his hand over her head.

"We meaning you, Beiste, my dad, and Shane? I know you guys talk about me behind my back."

"It's not like we have club meetings or anything. Just some conversations. Shane is not usually a part of them."

"I guess I should be thankful for small favors."

"I was hoping things were progressing with Shane. I was hoping he would save you."

"I don't need saving."

"I wanted him to take you away, to get you to live life again."

"How could you want me to abandon Sam? He's your family. You were practically raised as brothers."

"I love Sam, you know that. I also love you. You're my family too. I don't want to lose you both. I can't."

"Shipping me off with Shane is not the answer."

"What is then? You've been putting on this brave face for months, acting like the perfect devoted wife. Uncle Dwight and the rest of the family may buy it, but I know there's something else going on."

"See the thing is." She got up and walked a few feet to a square shaped hedge, picking at its leaves. "When I filed for divorce from Sam. I wasn't really serious."

She looked over her shoulder at Puck, who was staring at her obviously confused.

"What I mean is," she continued. "I figured I would have more time. Sam would fight me on it, make my life hell, we'd go back and forth."

A look of realization spread over his face. "A few slip ups in between?"

"Something like that. And then he would be out of my system and it would be done. But none of that happened because of the accident," said Mercedes as she ran her fingers through her bangs. "So what if I just don't have him out of my system yet? Maybe I haven't really forgiven him. Maybe I just want him to wake up so we can finish our little..."

"Sparring match…"

"Exactly. Maybe it is just guilt. Maybe it's just that I need closure," she said her words spilling out at an increasingly rapid pace. "What if I don't really love him enough and he can feel that and I am holding back his recovery? What if…"

"You are going to drive yourself crazy with all this wondering what if," Puck interjected. "Think about it this way. If this accident had never happened, and if Sam and Quinn had never slept together, what would you want with Sam?"

That was easy to answer. She wanted things that could never be.

* * *

><p><em>"What are you thinking about over there?" asked Mercedes as she leaned against the open driver side door, outside of the car, her hand intertwined with his.<em>

_"I'm picturing us in Tennessee on the river under the hot sun." He smiled. "We are on the deck of our yacht."_

_"Fancy."_

_"You are in a swimsuit, that pink one I like with the little skirt that you are so weird about wearing outside." His eyes lingered over her body as if he were visualizing her in the swimsuit instead of how she actually was, soggy in a blood stained camisole and jeans._

_"I don't look good in that swimsuit. I'm too big."_

_"What do I keep telling you? My baby looks good in everything. You're so beautiful Mercedes."_

_"You have to say that, you're married to me," she said looking down._

_"Hey. Cede look at me." Reluctantly her eyes met his. "You're beautiful inside and out. Stop disputing the facts okay?"_

_"Okay," she said with a small smile._

_"Good now back to my dream. So on the boat we spent almost an hour rubbing sunblock on each other." She could almost feel his hands rubbing lotion into her skin. Sam had such strong hands._

_"My hand is resting on your stomach, which is all rounded and cute because you're pregnant." He chuckled softly, too weak to muster a real laugh._

_"Must have been some dream. You're still smiling."_

_"It was. Recurring."_

_"So you've dreamed of me pregnant before?"_

_"Of course. I want to do that with you. Take you to Tennessee. Make love in the warm sunshine. Make babies."_

_"How many babies are we talking here?"_

_"Ten." Mercedes opened her mouth in shock._

_"And how many other women do you plan on having babies with?" she asked._

_"Just you, and I want to make every one in Tennessee."_

_"Sounds like you have it all planned out." As crazy and implausible as it sounded, no way was she having ten kids, she couldn't help but be touched he wanted a family with her._

_He rubbed her hand lightly with his thumb as he held it. "I do. I want them all to have your doe eyes and your cute little nose."_

_"I see. Do I get a say in any of this?"_

_"Well you are their mom."_

_"I say we have two perfect babies." She smiled over at him. He was watching her intently. "A boy and a girl."_

_"Made in Tennessee."_

_"But we reserve the right to make them in Lima too."_

_"Agreed. Anything else?"_

_"They must have your lips."_

_He smiled widely, his full lips on prominent display. "I'll be sure to make that happen."_

_"Sam, we shouldn't be talking like this."_

_"Why not? As far as I can see we are still on our little raft, so anything goes."_

_"Even things that can never be?" Tears welled in her eyes despite her best efforts to keep things light. It hurt to talk about these dreams with him, the future they had lost._

_"Especially those. Besides never say never."_

* * *

><p>"I wanted to be with him forever," she sniffled, remembering that night always made her weepy. "I wanted to have babies, a home, the whole picket fence dream I suppose."<p>

"And all that stuff with Shane?"

"Oh God, I mostly wish that never happened," Mercedes said taking a seat back on the bench. "How I feel about Sam used to scare me. He had hurt me so badly. I just didn't think I should trust him again."

"But you married him."

"For a part of me it was a dream come true. I have always wanted to marry him. Then this other part in my head kicks in and is like stop being stupid you know he'll break your heart in the end, don't let a good man like Shane get away."

"So you left Shane a message on your wedding day."

She turned to look at him in surprise. "How did you know about that?"

"Sam told me," said Puck, a confused expression playing over his face. "It was right after he overheard you and Rachel talking about it."

"He overheard me and Rachel?" she asked before placing her hand over her mouth in horror.

"He never told you that?"

"He let me believe he didn't hear anything that night. Oh my God so he knew I was holding back the truth the whole time." It had been even worse than she thought. Sam knew about the voicemail before he saw her with Shane. No wonder he went to Quinn. He thought she was lying to him. Everything suddenly made a sickening sort of sense.

"We had a talk. He told me he decided to trust you and trust that you wanted to have a life with him. It was a hard thing for him to do, considering his history and his parents."

She groaned. "Then he saw me kissing Shane."

"Yep," said Puck.

"Thanks a lot Puck. I feel worse than ever." Her poor Sam. She had hurt him so badly, he must have really thought she would leave him for Shane. She wanted to throw up.

"I thought we were being honest here. I never said it would be easy. Can you tell me why you aren't with Shane now? I thought maybe things were going on there."

Mercedes wanted to scream. Shane was the last thing she wanted to talk about. Her inability to let go of Shane is what started the whole wrecking ball going.

"I'm sure everyone did. We were just friends though. I was still married and I was honoring my vows."

"So your vows are truly what kept you from being with Shane?"

"I slept with Shane," she said slowly, the tears stinging in her eyes.

"You what? When?"

"Well almost. It was the night we found out Beth was really Sam's baby."

"Oh Cede."

"I felt like such a fool. I spent all this time sitting vigil by his bed and he has a baby with another woman? I kept thinking that it was too much. And that I couldn't do this anymore. Shane was there at the hospital trying to comfort me. He took me back to his place, because I couldn't go home. I didn't want to look at Sam's things or his pictures."

"You acted like you were handling the news about Beth so well. Why didn't you come to me?" Puck wrapped his arms around Mercedes, pulling her to his side. She leaned her head on his shoulder.

"It was humiliating. I couldn't face anyone. It was bad enough word had started to spread. I could hear the whispers. 'Poor Mercedes stuck taking care of a husband that cheated on her and had a baby with another woman. She must feel so stupid now.' I just wanted to hide. Besides you were going through so much too, worse than me. You thought she was yours."

"We could have leaned on each other Cede. So Shane?"

"It wasn't like I didn't care about him. I had feelings for him. There was an attraction. I decided to give in to it all. Why should I hold back? Sam clearly hadn't."

"You said you almost slept with him. What happened?"

She stood up, unable to be so close to Puck while talking about that night. She couldn't help but feel she had betrayed Sam. It didn't matter that he had cheated with Quinn and conceived a child. Mercedes knew Sam would be so hurt if he knew what she had almost done with Shane.

"We were in his bed. Shane was kissing me, telling me how much he loved me. It was all very sweet. Then I started thinking that I would give anything for this to be Sam instead of Shane right now. After that I knew I couldn't do it. I still wanted Sam."

"Even knowing he was Beth's father?"

"I was upset but it didn't change how I felt about Sam. All it did was prove to me that Shane wasn't the one."

"So why the doubts? You're clearly in love with Sam."

"I'm in over my head Puck," she admitted as she turned back to face him. "I don't know if I am making the right choices for him. I don't know what Sam would want in terms of treatment. He doesn't even know about Beth. What if he hates that I have her? Maybe I should've insisted to Dwight that Quinn's parents be allowed to take her."

"No one can tell Dwight what to do."

"I could've tried. I'm just assuming Sam would feel the same way I do about all of this. He could hate me. Quinn said…"

"Quinn was upset. She wasn't thinking clearly."

"She could be right though. I probably have it all wrong and Sam is going to wake up and blame me for wrecking his whole life. We weren't married that long. Quinn's known him longer than I have, maybe she should be making the decisions."

He got up and stood beside her. "Stop right there. Sam has told me on more than one occasion that you know him better than anyone. He used to tell me it unnerved him how much you got him, how you could see right through him. So if you think you are acting in a way that Sam would want, don't question it." He tilted her chin up so she would look him in the eyes. "You might be the most qualified person on the planet to speak for him."

"You don't agree with me about Beth though?"

"I think once Quinn gets back on her feet she will be a great mother. I trust her."

"Well I don't," she said looking away.

"I know her better than you do. Being almost married to her, twice, gives me certain insights."

"Like how Sam hates coffee and loves tea but thinks it will mess up his image to drink tea with his business associates so he hides it in a coffee cup from the Lima Bean."

He laughed. "Yes like that. It also is what lets me know that Quinn is a good person that would never willingly hurt her own child and that she is no threat to Beth."

"She doesn't deserve to have you on her side."

Puck wrapped Mercedes in a tight hug. "She never meant to hurt us Cede, or hurt Beth."

"Some people are just disasters, no matter what their intention. Believe me, I know."

"You're not a disaster." Mercedes let go of Puck and went back to the bench, stretching out on her back. She watched the clouds move through the overcast sky.

"Sam is in a coma because of me. You lost your fiancé because of me. Shane is on a Greyhound headed to North Carolina because of me."

"Enough with the pity party already. Bad shit happens. We deal with it and move on."

"Is that what you tell yourself at your AA meetings?" She rolled over on her side, propping her cheek on her palm. "Is that how you rationalize that Quinn got you hooked on drugs?"

"Quinn didn't make me do anything. I became an addict all on my own."

"If you say so, but something tells me squeaky clean Noah Puckerman never would've been led down the dark path of drug addiction without the help of a green eyed temptress."

"Mercedes," he warned.

"And now you are wandering back down that road again. This time with Santana Lopez at the helm. Is this how you get off? Doing bad girls?"

"This conversation is over. Let's go inside." He pushed her legs off the bench onto the ground and pulled her upright by her arm.

"I thought we were being honest Puck. Can't take the tables being turned?"

"Oh I can take it. But now that you have started to jump all up in my business I can tell my work here is done. Have we chased those doubts away?"

Mercedes rose to her feet. "I guess. I'm going to do what Sam did for me. I'm going to trust that I am doing what he wants."

"Good."

"And I'm going to trust that he will wake up and come back to me. We're going to have that life we planned, have our second chance."

"I hope everything works out the way you want it. You deserve some happiness. We all do."

"Thank you Puck." She hugged him again, her face rubbing against the cold leather of his jacket.

"Can we go inside now? My fingers are about to fall off."

"What do you think Dwight's up to?"

"Knowing my uncle it could be anything. Let's just hope he hasn't decided to get married again."

"That would not be fun."

They made their way up the walkway to the front door.

"Maybe we should just be happy he figured out how to use his cell phone."

"Good point. It's a major step for the old man."

"He probably had Beiste teach him. She taught him how to use the kindle you know."

"Coach B's here?" asked Puck.

"Yes, and Will and Burt."

"Really? Now I'm doubly intrigued. What could be going on?"


	31. Chapter 31

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Just wanted to take a quick minute to address some stuff...

There's been a number of comments about Quinn and Quinn and Sam's relationship so I figured I would clear some things up. Firstly when I wrote this I created these super long like thirty page chapters where both Mercedes and Quinn's pov was in each one. That is far too much to ask someone to read in one go, so I broke the chapters up and i am posting the pieces. So what seems like a lot of Quinn at once actually was in a chapter also with Mercedes. They both have equal storytelling in this. At certain points Quinn seems like she has more going in the story that's because she does. She's facing legal ramifications for her actions and she's mentally unstable. Also she doesn't have free access to Sam, and not a lot of friends so she lives in her head. The flashbacks she has are more detailed because she's missing Sam and doesn't get to sit by his bedside and talk like Mercedes does.

Now Mercedes her chapters show her life...all she's juggling, how she's trying to act like she can handle it all...a baby and a sick husband and school. Seems like something's got to give soon. Well obviously there's still more to come. The next chapter is about her side of things and will give a better understanding about what's going on with her.

Most of Mercedes chapters deal with other people mainly Sam's family or hers. This also is intentional. Mercedes has a full life filled with friends, work and family. She's not shut out like Quinn she's embraced. She's also at the center of things because she is caring for Beth and Sam. Again we are about to see the full impact of her position in the family.

Mercedes has less flashbacks. ..though she has more to come...for a few reasons.

**One** she doesn't have time to sit around daydreaming, she's busy.

**Two** - she's with Sam all the time. He's not dead and she talks to him like he's conscious.

**Three** - Sam and Mercedes haven't been together that long. Where Quinn has over a decade of memories, Mercedes has like three years and for the bulk of the current year Sam has been comatose. The sad truth is that Samcedes didn't get much time yet. Things were cut short. That's her tragedy.

**Last thing** - let's call it a spoiler - Samcedes have less told about them for a reason. I have consciously chosen not to reveal all about their relationship and dynamic because there's coming a time..very soon..where we will be fully immersed in their world. I am sure when we get there I will be getting comments about how there is too much of them...ok maybe not lol.

I am hoping people feel some sympathy toward Quinn. It can be difficult at this point because she's sort of at rock bottom and not doing herself any favors but I don't write weak women and in time things will get better for her. Mercedes hopefully you feel for her as well. She's acting like she's totally in control and can handle everything, but as I hinted at before things might not be as they seem.

I hope you guys stick with me. I promise this is not a story just about Quinn or Quinn and Sam. Yes Quinn is reminiscing a lot about Sam but there is quite a bit revealed of his pov in her flashbacks. You just have to remember they are her perspective and she's feeling quite a bit for Sam of late. ..she hasn't fully worked it out yet, but between you and me, she's fallen in love with her best friend, but he's taken and is focused on getting his wife back. I feel like a broken record but again there will be more flashbacks about them that definitely show Sam's mental state before the crash.

Man I am long winded...

Ok. I think I'm done. I appreciate everyone who has given this story a shot. It is a journey and it is not going to be easy but I am hoping everyone finds the conclusion satisfying. It is not a straight forward romance story, though of course that is a part of it, but this is about these three lives and how they get back on track after their choices screwed everything up.

And if you're the type of person that worries about pairings...then I'll say this. Both Mercedes and Quinn love Sam and real love isn't selfish so ultimately they both want only the best for him. **The way Sam was feeling in the car crash when he thought he was dying were his true emotions. And all that he wanted in that car was his wife back. Never forget that when reading this story.** All that car crash samcedes stuff started this story off because that was Sam's voice while he doesn't have one.

Ok if you guys are still interested below is t the meeting at Dwight's house chapter

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 31<strong>

All the players were gathered in the brightly lit living room. The space had a warm golden glow, from the numerous lamps, the curtains always drawn no matter the time of the day. Mercedes always liked the room despite the dominant use of earth tones. It was filled with expensive furniture made from hand carved wood and silks, antiques, and expensive art to add visual interest. The magnificently carved marble fireplace was the centerpiece. It was a room befitting the Evans name. Understated elegance, respect for history and culture, and a hint of the power the family held. Dwight and Beiste were side by side on the couch, Will perched on the arm at the opposite end. Burt in the chair in front of the fireplace. Sue strutting back and forth near the window, still on the phone. The scene did nothing to put Mercedes's anxiety at ease. There was something in the air, a tension, she just knew that nothing good would come from this little gathering.

"There you two are. I was wondering if you were ever going to come in from the cold," said Beiste as Mercedes and Puck entered the room. Mercedes went over and hugged Beiste tightly.

"How's Sam?" asked Beiste.

"He's hanging in there," responded Mercedes.

She hadn't wanted to leave him. In fact, Julian had to have her thrown out. He said it was so Sam's doctors could set up the dialysis equipment. But Mercedes knew he just used that as an excuse to get her to go to Dwight's. So she had complied and reluctantly tagged along with Sue.

"Did you get any sleep? You didn't come home. Beth and I missed you."

"Some. I was more concerned with getting Sam's fever down. Where's Beth now? Is she upstairs?"

"No Kurt came over to the house to stay with her until I get back."

"Will this take long Dwight?" Mercedes turned to ask him. "I need to get back to Sam and I need to spend some time with Beth."

"Has he shown any signs of improvement?" asked Dwight.

"When I left his fever was starting to slowly go down."

"No I mean…any signs of response, of coming around."

"Oh. Well he always seems to react to certain things I do or say in his own way. And he has been moving more."

Dwight bowed his head. "Those reflex actions?"

"I don't think they all are. He just needs a little more time. He'll come back to us."

Beiste placed her hand on Dwight's knee. "You've been asking about Sam all morning. Why don't you just go and visit him Dwight?"

"I will Shannon. When we're done here."

"So what's up? Why did you want us all at the house this morning?" asked Puck as he settled into the vacant seat nearest the door.

"We just need to wait for Julian and then we can get started."

"What is this about Dwight?" asked Sue as she sat on the couch near Will. "I have a company to run."

"And I have to get down to the station, I came here straight from dropping Stevie and Stacey off at school."

"I realize you all have very busy schedules, but this is important. I wouldn't have bothered otherwise."

"Does this have something to do with your latest ex-wife?" asked Will.

"That little bitch is no longer an issue."

"You never did tell me how you handled her."

"How I deal with my wives is none of your concern Will. Focus on your own marriage, now that you've wised up and kicked Holly's ass back to whatever fruit factory she came from."

"Dwight!" exclaimed Beiste. "Why you gotta be so rude?"

Julian rushed into the room heading directly to Mercedes's side. He was breathing heavily as if he had run from his car.

"Sorry I'm late."

Puck leaned forward in his chair. "Julian's here. So what the heck is going on Uncle D?"

"Before you start Dwight I just need to tell Mercedes something. Well all of you really."

"What is it dad?" Julian placed his hand on Mercedes' shoulder. It was bad news, she was sure of it. Doctors always touched her hand or shoulder when they were giving her bad news, as if just touching her would somehow make her react less. Or maybe they thought it would prevent her from running screaming from the room.

"It's Sam."

"Have out with it Julian. Has Sam gotten worse? Is my son dying?" asked Dwight.

"How could you ask that Dwight? Of course he isn't dying, he just has a little bug. Our son will beat this," said Sue.

"It is more complex than the flu Sue. We had to put him on a ventilator. He was experiencing some decreased lung function so we wanted to do this as a precautionary measure. Let's try to stay cautiously optimistic. Sam's doctors are doing everything to keep his body from shutting down."

It felt like her throat was starting to close. Dialysis, ventilators Sam was getting worse, the infection was moving through his bloodstream damaging his organs. Mercedes fought the urge to fall into Julian's arms and beg him to save Sam. Julian had performed some amazing acts of medicine in the past. Why couldn't he just do something to help Sam? Quickly invent a cure, some new treatment, anything. She just needed her father to save the man she loved. But she was a nurse, an adult, and tantrums would get them nowhere. So she stood there next to her father trying to ignore the bile she tasted in her mouth.

"I need to get back to the hospital now. Can someone please take me?" asked Mercedes trying to fake calm.

"Sure honey, let me get my coat," offered Sue.

"Mercedes, why don't we just listen to what Dwight has to say and then we can go," suggest Julian.

"I need to be with him dad."

Mercedes didn't like the idea of him going through this without her. What if he was feeling alone and afraid? She often wondered if he feared she would never return each time she left him. All the seminars she had attended had one thing in common. They all believed comatose patients could hear and sense people in their midst. Sam had to know she was always there chattering incessantly. Did he miss her when she was gone? Was he cold when she wasn't snuggled against his side?

"He's not alone. Cheryl's there and she's going to sit with him until you get back? Okay?"

The room started to spin. Mercedes reached out for Julian so she wouldn't fall. He caught her by the elbow.

"Mercedes are you okay?" asked Beiste in alarm.

"Yeah just got a little lightheaded that's all."

"When's the last time you ate something?" asked Julian.

"I don't know. I had dinner with Shane."

Beiste gasped. "Mercedes that was two days ago. And I remember you telling me you didn't really get to eat much because of Beth."

"I don't know. I'm sure I have eaten since, the days just blur together."

"Figgins!" barked Dwight.

"Yes Mr. Evans." The man must have been standing just by the doorway. Dwight didn't even have to move from the couch before Figgins appeared with his wavy salt and pepper hair and bronzed skin in a perfectly tailored black suit.

"Have Cook make my daughter in law some breakfast."

"Get her some fruit and eggs," interjected Julian.

"You heard the man. Please hurry."

"Why is everyone looking so worried? I'm just a little hungry. No big deal. Dwight please tell us why you've brought us here."

"I'm not saying a word until I see you eat something."

"Mercedes come sit on the couch. I'm going to get you a glass of water," said Beiste moving over to make room.

"You guys, I'm fine," said Mercedes as she sat down between Dwight and Beiste. "Seriously. I just need to get back to the hospital."

"I'll call Santana and tell her to look in on Sam." Puck pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket. "I know she's there visiting Quinn."

"I don't want that venomous slut anywhere near my son. For all I know she is the angel of death."

"Far as I can tell that describes all of your wives, Dwight," said Will dryly.

"Haven't they all been brought up on attempted murder charges one time or another?" asked Julian.

"Instead of wedding photos Dwight has a collection of their mug shots framed in his study," joked Will.

"Enough!" said Dwight gruffly, cutting off all talk in the room.

Sue twirled a lock of her short blond hair around her fingers. "Dwight can you please stop stalling? My nerves can't take it."

"Here's some fruit and cheese for Mrs. Evans," announced Figgins as he placed a plate of food on the coffee table in front of Mercedes. "Cook said the eggs would take a few more minutes."

"Thank you Figgins."

"I'm eating." Mercedes took a bite of pineapple. "See."

"Fine. Well last night some new information was brought to my attention…by Burt. It's about Sam."

"What about Sam? Dwight so help me God if you are withholding information about his condition."

"Sue can you just let me finish before you tear my head off. Burt, if you would explain the situation."

Mercedes had almost forgotten Burt was in the room. He was so quiet, unlike the rest of his family.

Burt rose from his chair as he began. "Yesterday afternoon, Sam's assistant Katrina, brought over some papers to my office. She had been organizing his desk and came across some things she felt needed my attention."

"What kinds of things?" asked Puck. "I've been running D&E for months and she has never brought anything to me from Sam's office."

"These items were of a more personal nature Puck. There's no easy way to say this."

"Just say it man," said Will.

"Well you see it seems that Sam had a living will. And in this living will he laid out his wishes for his long term care. He didn't want to be kept alive by any artificial methods for longer than six months. After that point he didn't want to be resuscitated or receive any continued treatment."

A silence fell over the room. Mercedes' stomach churned as she pushed the plate of food away from her. This couldn't be happening.

"He is not on a ventilator. He is breathing on his own. I mean right now he is on one temporarily but that is because of the infection. Right Julian?" asked Sue.

"Yes the infection is impacting his organs," Julian replied.

"But before the infection he had no artificial means keeping him alive. He was doing it all himself," stated Mercedes.

"His feeding tube…"

"What are you saying?" Sue stood up outraged. "You want to take out his tube? Starve my baby to death?"

"Sue, calm down," said Julian. "Burt is just stating Sam's wishes. He didn't want to live like this."

"Why are you even here Julian? Sam is nothing to you. You would love to see him dead. Didn't you almost kill him when you found out he slept with that slut Quinn?" asked Sue.

"That's enough," warned Dwight. "I wanted Julian here for his medical expertise and he is a close family friend."

"Why hadn't we heard about this will before?" asked Will.

"Honestly my office just found it. Sam's secretary brought over those documents and this was among them. It's legit. D&E legal department oversaw it."

"Sam never mentioned anything about this to me. It has to be a few years old, before we were married. That makes the will invalid now right?" asked Mercedes hopefully.

"Marital status has no bearing on this. These are Sam's personal wishes."

"Well ignore it Burt. Tear the papers up. They've been lost all this time, they can stay lost." Mercedes could feel herself starting to tremble. She was getting so upset. Beiste must have felt it too, because she grabbed her hand and held it.

"Legally I'm obligated…"

"What about your obligations to this family?" asked Mercedes her voice shaking. "You are telling us we have to murder Sam."

"Mercedes I know this is upsetting but we have to consider Sam in this. He didn't want to live his life incapacitated."

"I am thinking of Sam. Every day, all day, I think of Sam. Whenever Beth smiles at me with her perfect little pink lips, I think of Sam. There is no way Sam would just want to give up, not when there was a chance he could come back to his daughter…to us."

He promised.

* * *

><p><em>"I don't know Sam. A lot of damage was done because of other people. There was a lot of pain."<em>

_"But the love was always there." Grasping her chin and lifting her head toward him, he stared into her eyes. "Tell me you didn't always feel it. Even right now. You know it will never be over between us. Just admit it."_

_Mercedes tried to move away from his grasp, to break his gaze, but he wouldn't let her._

_"Sam, just stop this." She turned away from him completely, still in his arms but she would not face him._

_"Nothing can come of this conversation."_

_"I need you to say it Mercedes. I need to hear it," he pleaded._

_"It doesn't matter if you still feel the connection, or even if I do. What we have is done. There's no going back."_

_"We always find a way back."_

_"Not this time."_

_"I will always find my way back to you. I promise you that."_

_"Stop making promises you can't keep." Tears streamed down her face, and her shoulders shook as her emotions released._

_Sam pulled her into his chest. "Always, Mercedes. I promise you."_

* * *

><p>Mercedes tried to discreetly wipe the tears from her face as she snapped back to the present. She didn't want the family to see her weak. She had to show them all she could handle this.<p>

"So Julian in your medical opinion is there a chance Sam could recover?" asked Puck.

"We don't know much about comas, but statistically the longer a person remains comatose, the graver the prognosis. Sam has been in a coma for almost nine months."

"People have been in comas for years and woken up. I have done the research," said Sue.

"Rare, dare I say miraculous cases." said Julian gravely.

"There you have it. Sam would settle for nothing less than a miracle. He would have hoped and prayed for one if it would get him back to his child," said Mercedes blinking back the tears welling in her eyes.

Mercedes got up and walked over to the fireplace, to the large photo of Sam and Dwight that sat on the mantle. It was from their wedding day. She ghosted her fingers over Sam's face. He looked so handsome in his tux. There needed to be a picture of Sam and Beth on display right next to this one. Mercedes refused to think that a picture like that, of Sam and his daughter, might never exist. Sam had to get better. He had too much to live for, to come back to. There was too much he had already missed out on. She wasn't going to let him miss out on anymore.

"Sam doesn't know about Beth sweetheart," added Beiste gently.

"Yes he does. I can feel it. I know he hears us when we visit him." She turned to face them all, the family she had inherited from Sam. They were watching her closely, probably wondering if she would break. "So you guys can continue to bicker amongst yourselves about this, but I'm his wife and I'm not letting his feeding tube be removed."

Mercedes made her way out of the living room into the foyer holding onto the wall to steady herself as she walked. She couldn't believe this was happening, not after everything she had done, they all had done to help Sam recover, to stay alive. He had gone behind their backs and shot it all to hell. How could he want to die and leave them all here to clean up his mess? She wasn't going to just let it happen. He said he'd come back to her and she was going to make sure he kept that promise.

"Mrs. Evans I was just coming to bring you your breakfast."

Mercedes took one look at the eggs Figgins had in his hand and her stomach churned. She quickly turned her head and threw up all over the floor, the acid burning her throat after she was done.

She looked over at Figgins, embarrassed that she hadn't been able to control her own body. "I'm so sorry. Let me clean it up."

Figgins handed her a napkin and led her away from the mess. "I will take care of it Mrs. Evans you go back in and sit down."

"I need some air." Opening the front door and letting the cold air hit her in the face, Mercedes let out the breath she felt like she had been holding since Burt had mentioned the will.

"I say a prayer every night for Master Sam, for God to watch over him and protect him."

"Thank you Figgins," she said turning slightly in the doorway to look at him.

"I watched him grow from just a boy, always tearing through the house, messy and loud. Left his toys everywhere, and crumbs," he chuckled. "He grew into quite a young man. He was always such a light, no more like a force of nature in this house. I miss him."

"Me too."

"I'll say a prayer for you too Mrs. Evans."

She gave him a little smile. "Thank you."

"With enough prayers we just might get that miracle." Figgins turned and left leaving Mercedes in the open doorway.

She stepped back in the foyer and placed the napkin over the spot where she had thrown up, hoping none of the family would have a chance to see it before it was cleaned. The last thing she needed was for them to know the little she had eaten didn't stay down for very long.

Mercedes wished she had driven herself, so she could just leave and not have to rely on anyone, to face anyone. The debate would begin and they all would be looking to her for answers. She could hear them in there now arguing, their voices blending together like a tone deaf choir. Mercedes leaned against the wall, listening in.

"Burt do we have any legal recourse to get this will nullified?"

"It's legally binding Sue. Sam made his choices we have to respect them."

"Easy for you to say. What if it were one of your sons?"

"Burt is just doing his job."

"Well I'm not going to let it happen. You'll have to go through me to shut off any of Sam's machines."

"Keep it down Cede might hear you." Puck was such a nice guy, always thinking of her.

"Mercedes agrees with me. Maybe we are the only two people in this family that truly love Sam. I don't understand why everyone in here is not fighting mad." Leave it to Sue to be direct and offensive. But for once Mercedes was glad they were on the same side.

"Everyone loves Sam. We are all just stunned with this." Beiste ever the peacemaker.

"Our son wanted this. He's a grown man. He's allowed to decide how he lives his life." Dwight seemed to be taking it all so coldly, as if he didn't care Sam's life hung in the balance. But Mercedes knew that wasn't the case. She had seen Dwight by Sam's bedside night after night, when he thought no one was listening, begging him to come back.

"Or how he ends it." It made Mercedes so angry that Burt could just stand there and quote the law like he was just talking about any other client. Sam was family.

"Sam never knew this would happen. He has a wife and a baby. He would never willingly leave them."

"I was with him the night of the accident. You're right. He didn't want to leave Mercedes, but he also was prepared to face whatever outcome, even death."

"That's right. He asked you to look after Quinn." Mercedes' heart clenched at Puck's words. She knew what Sam had asked of Will, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

"Further proof he was not in his right mind that night. Why on earth would he be thinking about her?" asked Sue.

"Sam cared about Quinn."

"Don't let Mercedes hear that."

"Sam also asked me to protect Mercedes, as you already know." What was Will talking about? Sam asked him to protect her?

"None of that proves my baby wanted to die."

"I'm just saying he wasn't afraid to die," said Will. "He just wanted his family safe. Hopefully I gave him peace of mind that night."

Mercedes couldn't stand to hear anymore. They all were making her sick with the back and forth debate. It felt strange being the one who had to make all the decisions, when everyone around her was older, and had known Sam better and longer. It almost didn't seem right that it all should fall on her shoulders. But that was what marriage was about, they chose each other, they entrusted their lives to each other. So why hadn't Sam ever told her about his living will? It didn't make any sense. The Sam she knew would never quit on life. He never quit on anything.

* * *

><p><em>The rain had let up and a calm had fallen over the car. The only sounds were the light drizzle and Sam's periodic wheezing. Mercedes was in his arms under the blanket, playing with the wedding band on his finger.<em>

_"It's so quiet. We should have music," said Mercedes._

_"I can sing for you."_

_"You don't sing."_

_"I do too and play the guitar."_

_"Seriously?" She turned to look at him, shocked. "I never knew that."_

_"In high school I used to serenade Quinn, one time I even did it in front of our whole class. Haven't played a note since we broke up."_

_"You were such a sweetheart. I can't believe she chose Puck over you."_

_"Me either," he laughed weakly. "Well at the time. Looking back now I can see all the things I did wrong."_

_"You were a kid. You didn't know what you were doing."_

_"I was jealous, possessive, controlling. I think I scared her at times. I just didn't want to lose her and I didn't know what else to do. You'd think I'd learned from that, but nope I keep making the same mistakes over and over. Look at how I treated you when you were with Shane."_

_"I didn't think you were that bad."_

_"I kept calling you, interrupting your dates, trying to kiss you…even when you told me to stop."_

_"I kinda liked it. Made me feel wanted, like you cared."_

_"I should've taken no for an answer. That's what a good man would've done."_

_"I don't think that's necessarily true. Sometimes you have to push to get anywhere."_

_"Pushing someone against their will is called harassment."_

_"I don't know. It was sort of romantic. I couldn't believe that you wanted to be with me so much that you kept trying. I kept waiting for you to lose interest."_

_"I could never have given up on you, even though I should've. I guess it is a flaw in my nature, to keep trying even when every logical thought is telling me not to. I'm relentless at times, so fixated on what I want that I lose sight of what is right."_

_"Maybe what you want is right, if you feel it so strongly. Good men are true to what they believe in their hearts. You never give up because in your heart you know the end result will be worth it. You are dedicated, driven, and focused. I think that makes you one of the good guys."_

_"I don't feel like one. I keep screwing everything up. Can't seem to get it right."_

_"You keep trying and never quit. That means you're brave and strong. Just face it Sam, you're a better man than you realize."_

_"I hope so. I really want to get the chance to live up to that."_

* * *

><p>Sam wanted to live, to have a family, to be a better man. Mercedes knew he would want to do that even more now for Beth. The Sam she loved would never want to let Beth down by quitting on her like this and leaving her alone in the world. That will was drawn up before he found out all of his dreams for love and family could come true. He must have just forgotten he had written it.<p>

It was decided. Mercedes knew what she had to do. She had to make Burt and everyone else forget the will existed.

Sam had saved her life the night of the accident, now she had to return the favor and save his.


	32. Chapter 32

**OK another Author's Note**: This one gives some back story to Sam and Mercedes.

Basically things are revealed little by little in my story and all will be known in time, but I get how this type of storytelling brings up so many questions. So I'd like to share a little back story about how Mercedes got to Lima and ended up with Sam.

Things will be revealed gradually but I can give you a timeline of certain events to help clear some things up early.

* * *

><p>Mercedes moved to town three years prior in search of her father. Her mother had died and Mercedes discovered that she had been lying to her all her life about the identity of her father. When she first got to Lima she was scoping things out and didn't introduce herself to her father right away once she found him. Instead she sort of tried to get the lay of the land. She was raised to use men to get what she wanted…and she initially attempted to do that when she first moved to Lima to get money. However Mercedes only turned to sex as a last resort and preferred to lead men on and let them believe they were getting sex and while they were vulnerable she'd rob them.<p>

The day she met Sam was one of those setups. She was meeting a man at BreadStix to run a scam on…but he caught on to her early and was attempting to strong arm her so she ran to Sam's table and told him that story about needing refuge from a bad blind date. That's how their association began. Sam picked up on Mercedes' desperate vibe and he offered her a job at his company as his assistant. She accepted the job and rented a room from Beiste and stayed in town. Mercedes kind of had a love at first sight thing for Sam, and she crushed on him hard from day one, but Sam treated her like a little sister and he was involved with Rachel at the time. (Mercedes was young when she came to town…17 even more reason for Sam to keep his distance since he was 8 years older)

Mercedes met Puck at work, who lived with Julian, and she confided in Puck about her connection to Julian and ultimately she got the nerve to introduce herself to him. Father and daughter hit it off really well.

While working for Sam she tried all sorts of little schemes to get his attention and hopefully get him to date her and not Rachel. None of them worked, and Sam continued to hold her at arms length. Mercedes finally got a clue and quit the job. She went to college (nursing) and met Shane. During all this time Sam still was in contact with Mercedes - she was close to Puck, so Sam had ways of keeping track of her - and they built a friendship once she stopped stalking him. Mercedes and Shane started dating and Sam began to realize that he felt more than friendship for Mercedes when he started getting very jealous of her spending time with another guy.

I think that's a good basic set-up…more details will be revealed as the story progresses. But feel free to ask me any questions you want.

Also from now on I'm combining chapters to include Mercedes and Quinn's POV...unless they are in the chapter together.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 32<strong>

Quinn wasn't sure how long it had been since Artie had left to see if she could be released back to her room in the psychiatric ward. After her awful visit with Julian, everything started to blur. She couldn't seem to focus on anything or anyone. Artie must have sensed her distress because he seemed particularly eager to go handle her paperwork. No one rushed to fill out forms without good reason.

At least she was done crying. Quinn was so tired of it. It wasn't like her, yet lately it was all she ever seemed to do. Ever since she had gotten pregnant her hormones had turned her into an emotional time bomb, and the drugs weren't helping things. She missed her old self. She had been in control of her emotions and always managed to take things in stride, at least on the outside. And that was all that really mattered to Quinn at this point, how she appeared to everyone else. She had to convince the world she was able to handle her life, her daughter. These crying fits were not helping her cause.

Sam. She had almost forgotten about him somewhere in the hospital fighting for his life. Selfish concerns about Puck and Julian had made her lose sight of him. Again. Why did she seem to keep thinking about herself when he was the one with his life on the line? She needed to be with him and supporting him the way he had so many times in the past for her. She wished she could visit him, but the hospital would never allow her to go see him, she wasn't merely a patient, she was a prisoner. Maybe tonight she would try to sneak out again, take another chance to see him. Quinn knew it was a risky move, especially after getting caught at Beiste's house, but she owed it to him to at least try. He would do it for her.

Her mind drifted to last summer at the Beacon Hotel. Quinn often thought of their time there, it had become so special to her. For a few weeks, she hadn't felt so alone. She knew she had at least one person always on her side. They were facing the wreckage together. If only they could have stayed there, hidden away, in safety. If he had come to her, instead of going to a bar, maybe none of this would've happened. Why hadn't he trusted her to be there for him, the way he had always been there for her?

* * *

><p><em>He had not even noticed her in the lobby. Walked right past her, head down, shoulders slumped, hands stuffed in his pockets. At first she thought she might leave him be, let him stew in peace. Then thought better of it. She wasn't going to let him wallow. Too long in darkness blinds you to the light. She had heard that somewhere once. Words she had tried to live by ever since, and had succeeded, for the most part. This year had been particularly challenging for Quinn, she didn't seem to be able to find the bright side of anything. She was starting to think she was just permanently depressed. The one bright spot in her life had been Puck and finally getting it right with him but once he left it was as if any chance for happiness had went with him. Her life had become tainted. And now it was all gone. But just because Quinn's life was down the tubes didn't mean Sam's had to be. She could at least make him feel better. He had done it enough times for her in the past.<em>

_She tapped on his door, bottle of wine in hand. He looked like crap when he finally opened the door. His blue tie loosened, his jacket discarded, his hair a mess, falling into his face. _

"_Hey," she said smiling shyly holding up the bottle she had in her hand. "Looks like you could use a drink."_

"_I'm not good company right now Quinn."_

"_I'm not company though. I'm me."_

_He chuckled wearily, ran his hand through his hair, and over his face. He leaned his head against the door, just taking her in. "Quinn," he said closing his eyes as if it hurt to complete his thought._

"_Not taking no for an answer." She slid past him though his door, grabbing his hand in hers to pull him inside with her._

_He had a one bedroom suite. Living section in one room complete with sofa, loveseat, oak dining table for four, wet bar, flat panel mounted on the wall. A huge sliding glass door covered the entire wall of the room, showing off an incredible view of the city below. It wasn't unlike her room next door, except his was much larger._

_Quinn grabbed a couple of glasses from the bar and set them on the table. She started to uncork the wine. Red, a good vintage, they had assured her at the bar. Quinn just hoped it tasted good._

"_Here let me get that," Sam said taking the bottle from her hands. "Least I can do since you were thoughtful enough to bring it over." He poured them both a glass before taking a seat opposite her at the table._

"_I saw you come in. I was in the lobby."_

"_I didn't see you."_

"_I figured. So things didn't go well with Mercedes?" asked Quinn as she sipped from her glass._

_He laughed humorlessly before swallowing his whole glass in one gulp. "I'm going to need something stronger if we are going to go there."_

"_That bad?"_

"_Her slamming the door in my face I can take. Pretty much par for the course for her. But when she came out after me in the driveway and told me she hated my guts... that was a bit more than I could handle."_

"_She didn't mean it Sam."_

"_She called me a soulless bastard."_

"_Ouch. What brought that on?"_

_He ran his fingertip around the rim of his empty glass. "I really don't want to talk about it."_

"_OK subject dropped. In fact no talk of any of our exes for the rest of the night."_

"_Whatever will we have to talk about then? Seems like both our lives have been nothing but a series of break ups." Sam got up from the table and went to the bar, took out a glass and some ice, poured himself a scotch, before sinking into the couch, letting his head rest against the wall._

_Quinn had hoped they would lay off the hard liquor for the night. She had been waking up nauseous every day. She really didn't want another hung over morning. But apparently Sam had other ideas. Quinn went over and joined him on the couch, kicking off her shoes and pulling her feet up off the floor, tucking them under the skirt of her cream dress._

"_Let's talk about something happy," said Quinn._

"_Like what?"_

"_Like the beach."_

"_Sand in your shorts, sunburn…mosquito bites."_

"_I said happy. I was thinking about that summer we spent so much time at the lake."_

_Sam smiled as he remembered. "We were out there so much your hair started to lighten. Platinum blond around your face." He reached over and ran his fingers through the front of her long sandy blond hair, lingering briefly at the end where it curled, before letting his hand drop. He took a sip of scotch then laid his head back against the couch again._

"_You taught me to swim."_

"_That I did. When you finally let me. You thought I was going to let you drown."_

"_It was hard trusting you. I had never let anyone in like that before."_

"_I know." He looked over at her again._

"_I trust you with my life now."_

"_Not a smart move if you listen to Mercedes." He placed his glass on the coffee table in front of them. "She thinks I am lying scum, without a trustworthy bone in my body."_

"_Sam…"_

"_She pretty much thinks I'm shit Quinn." Sam leaned forward, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. "How am I supposed to live with that?"_

"_Hey, I thought we agreed. No ex talk."_

_Sam sighed loudly. "Right. It's just..it just…"_

"_Hurts," she said completing his thought. "I know it does. But she's angry and in pain right now. She doesn't mean what she's saying."_

"_She's got me convinced."_

"_Trust me, she doesn't mean it."_

"_How do you know?" he asked turning to face her on the couch._

"_Any woman that has ever gotten to know you knows what a special man you are. You are kind, loyal…"_

"…_a major screw up."_

"_Yes that too," she laughed. "But we all know your heart is in the right place and we eventually forgive you."_

"_I don't think Mercedes ever will. She hates me."_

"_I did."_

"_What?" he asked._

"_I forgave you. Every time I did."_

"_Not quite the same is it? I broke Mercedes's heart."_

"_You broke mine too."_

"_When? What are you talking about?" he asked a puzzled look on his face._

"_I'm breaking my own rule here. Happy talk only." Quinn sat up straight, put her feet on the floor and smoothed out her dress. "So did you close any major deals at work today?"_

"_Stock took a dive. Next topic."_

"_How's your mom?"_

"_Prowling for her fourth husband, but thinks she is qualified to give me marital advice."_

"_How's Puck?"_

"_Do we really want to go there? The last time I spoke to him he gave me a black eye."_

"_There's got to be something good in your life, not that I can talk. I don't have anything either."_

"_You made me smile earlier. First time all day."_

"_I wonder if I can do it again," said Quinn perking up._

"_Please don't start telling jokes."_

"_I know my limitations and being funny is not one of my talents."_

"_Luckily you have numerous others."_

"_Do you remember when we used to sit out on my front porch and make up songs?" asked Quinn._

"_I used to play my guitar and you used to sing, making up lyrics off the top of your head."_

"_We used to say we were going to make an album….become stars."_

"_Too bad neither of us ever had a pen to write those songs down."_

"_We could've been sitting on a platinum album."_

"_Well mostly you. I just wanted to come along for the ride. Be your roadie and secret lover, but I guess Puck got that job."_

"_Definitely secret," said Quinn deliberately ignoring Sam's mention of Puck. "Because a chart topping recording artist such as myself could never have been seen fraternizing with the help."_

_Sam looked over at her and smiled, his dimples showing. "I would've gladly kept it on the down low, if it meant I got to be with you every night." _

"_Horny teenage boy that you were."_

"_Hopelessly in love teenage boy. I would've done almost anything to be with you. As you know."_

"_You certainly were hard to resist."_

"_You seemed to manage okay to me."_

"_It was a constant battle to keep my virtue around you Sam Evans. You were a major threat to my virginity."_

"_Really? You seemed at ease with not sleeping with me."_

"_Your eyes, your smile, those lips. You were so pretty."_

"_Pretty? Take that back!" _

"_You know what I mean. Don't act like you don't know how attractive you are. Women would line up to be with you."_

"_Not back then. Couldn't even get my own girlfriend to spread her…" Sam raised his hand in defense as Quinn wacked him in the head with a throw pillow. "Ow! What? I was going to say spread her love…her love." He laughed as she hit him again._

"_Just like that you're sixteen again."_

"_What can I say? I'm a dirty boy at heart. Mercedes always says…" His voice trailed off as he looked down sadly._

"_We were doing so well with the happy talk."_

"_I know. Refill?" Quinn shook her head, the wine already starting to give her a buzz. Sam got up and went over to the mini bar. "You know I'm kind of glad we never had sex back in high school."_

"_Why's that?" asked Quinn, watching him from her seat on the couch._

"_All the crap we went through since, I would hate to have had you look back on it and regretted it. First loves should be fond memories. Don't you think?"_

"_I do."_

_He walked over to the glass doors, facing the sunset. "I wanted to give that to Mercedes. A lifetime of fond memories. Should've known better. Called it a day after our first time was broadcast over the internet. Now she has another thing to add to her list of regrets."_

"_I don't think she regrets being with you."_

"_She told me she does. Today in Beiste's driveway. Her eyes were so cold, no feeling at all when she looked at me. She looked me dead in the eye and told me she wished she had never been with me. That she should've chosen Shane."_

"_Sam. I'm so sorry." Quinn came up behind him at the sliding doors, wrapping her arms around his waist, her cheek pressed against his shoulder. "This will get better. I promise you."_

_He turned to look at her with red rimmed green eyes. He seemed so lost. All Quinn wanted to do was pull him closer, ease his pain. In that moment, she truly hated Mercedes for making him feel so low. He was breaking right before her and Quinn was at a loss how to help him. Sam shifted in her arms and pulled her into a hug. He held Quinn tightly, one hand on her back the other hand gripping the back of her neck before moving up to tangle in her hair._

_He smelled like scotch, and aftershave, and something else, clean like fresh air, like that summer at the lake. Quinn ran her hands up and down his back. She could feel his muscles, hard under his white pinstripe dress shirt._

"_I sat in my car and watched her cry through the living room window for over a half hour. I did that to her Quinn." The words seemed caught in his throat as he pulled her closer, hugging her tighter. Quinn was so caught up in him, he was all over her. She stroked his hair, rubbed his arms, his back, nothing was calming him. It was killing her. "She's right. I'm a piece of shit," he rasped against her ear. "How could I have hurt her like that?"_

"_Sam look at me." She leaned away from him and placed both of her hands on the sides of his face, forcing him to look at her. _

"_You're not a piece of shit. You're a good man that made a mistake. She's just being a bitch to hurt you."_

_Quinn leaned closer, drawn to his sadness, his green eyes clouded with the hint of tears. Her hands drifted from his face to his shoulders, over the planes of his chest, her eyes settled on his mouth. She licked her lips, as her heartbeat quickened, just one more inch._

_He stilled her motions on his chest, covering her hands with his own, before stepping back, putting distance between them. "I think I'm going to hit the sack."_

"_Okay," said Quinn looking down, afraid she had upset their delicate balance, crossed some unknown line. The last thing she wanted to do was make him run. She couldn't bear it if he pulled away from her now too._

"_Thank you for this though." He gestured over toward the wine on the table. "It helped."_

_Quinn gave him a small smile. "Liar."_

_Sam stepped closer to her again, running his hand down her shoulder. Quinn involuntarily shivered at his touch. The wine must have affected her more than she realized._

"_You helped. Without you…" He hesitated looking away out the balcony doors, at the darkening Lima sky._

"_I feel the same way," she said. He looked back down at her and smiled._

"_So I'll see you later then?"_

_Quinn nodded. "I'm going to go dream about that summer at the lake."_

"_Swimming lessons."_

"_Happy times," she added._

"_The best," he said as he shut bedroom door behind him._

* * *

><p>Quinn wiped the tears from her eyes with her hand. He had been such an important part of her life for so long. Some of her best memories had been with him. They had a baby and he didn't even know it. God couldn't be so cruel to never let Sam know his daughter. He had to teach Beth to swim, to play ball, to drive. Her baby couldn't miss out on knowing him. Beth deserved a chance to have her daddy in her life. She needed him. They both did.<p>

Sam had to get better, because she wasn't sure if she could go through all of this without him.

* * *

><p>Mercedes shifted her weight from her left foot to her right as she leaned against the wall outside of the psych ward. She still was debating whether or not to go in. It had hit her earlier, while in the hospital nursery playing with Beth, that Quinn could soon be the only parent Beth would have left. Of course she wasn't giving up on Sam. She still believed he would pull through and she intended to fight the living will with all her power. But Mercedes had always been a realist, so deep down she knew that everything could go differently than she hoped and Sam could be gone. For good.<p>

It felt like just an hour ago that she had been blindsided at the Evans house with the news of Sam's living will. When in fact it had been almost twelve hours. Time always seemed to fly when Mercedes was wishing it would crawl. She needed time to come up with a plan, some way to help Sam. Still the day marched on. Beiste had accompanied Dwight to the hospital to visit Sam after everyone had left the house that morning, so Kurt brought Beth to the hospital. Mercedes had spent practically the whole day with Beth in the hospital nursery. She had her own section and bed within the area, a little perk of being Dwight Evans' granddaughter, so Beth was very comfortable there.

Actually the whole family had come to the hospital that morning. Perhaps they all needed to see Sam, spend time with him, just in case… Mercedes couldn't even finish the thought. No way could these be some of the last moments she would get to be with Sam. Yet the family was almost acting like they were. The way they paraded in and out of his room, standing over his bedside. It was like some twisted version of a wake. So while the Evans clan paid Sam audience, Mercedes played with Beth.

Later in the afternoon Beiste and Dwight came by the nursery to relieve her so she could go and see Sam. But Mercedes never got to actually go in. Sam still had a line of people to see him. Even some of his old friends from high school had stopped by. Apparently someone had leaked news of his turn for the worse to the media. Word was spreading that Sam Evans might be living his last. Mercedes wasn't ready to play the grieving widow just yet, so she made herself scarce.

In her mind she was still a newlywed building a life with the man she loved, at least that is what she should be doing. Their first year of marriage had been spent in hospital rooms, first with his infection in his leg after their wedding, now this. Just didn't seem fair that she and Sam couldn't seem to get any real happiness. The little they managed to squeeze in between all the drama was so fast and few. It made Mercedes cherish those memories even more, those times that she had assumed would become just blips in the grand scheme of their lives, now were everything. They were all she had of him, a string of little scenes that were becoming harder to recall in her head as time passed. Soon there would be nothing left but the faded ghosts of their life together. She'd remember smiles and laughs but none of the details.

Mercedes slid down the wall to the floor, her still damp hair twisted into a bun dripping on her shoulders, wetting the neckline of her gray US Army t-shirt, well Sam's US Army t-shirt. It was one of his favorites. She had brought it to the hospital for him to wear, but button downs provided easier access for examination, all the prodding he was subjected to daily, so she never had a chance to put it on him. She had placed it in her locker with her things, uniforms, spare clothes for all the nights she never made it home, like this one, and had forgotten all about it. Then tonight while searching her locker for something clean after her shower she spotted it. Just felt right to put it on. She hadn't seen Sam for more than a few minutes since the morning and she needed to feel close to him. The shirt was almost like a hug, surrounded by something Sam loved and wore often, she could almost feel his strong arms around her, holding her tightly. Of course, Sam would have a fit if he saw her in his shirt. She was breaking one of his rules. Maybe she should march into his room with it on, perhaps he would sense her in it and wake up, get better, react in some way. He always had before.

* * *

><p><em>"Sam you're home." He came into the bedroom, jacket under his arm, smile on his face. "I thought you said you were going to be really late."<em>

_"I figured those reports could hold until morning," he said shutting the door behind him before walking over to Mercedes on their bed. "I have a beautiful wife at home that needs me to fall asleep."_

_Sam leaned over and kissed her, nudging her full lips open with his tongue until she granted him entrance, allowing him to kiss her deeper._

_Mercedes sighed contently as they pulled apart. "I don't need you to sleep. I just sleep better when you're next to me."_

_"Sounds like the same thing to me. I think you're using me as your human body pillow the way you end up sprawled over me during the night," he said from inside the walk-in closet._

_"You don't like snuggling and sleeping close?"_

_"I love you close to me," he said walking back into the bedroom. He removed his watch and cufflinks, placing them in a wooden box on their dresser. "The elbow in the ribs, the hand in my face, and your leg thrown across my body so I can't move. That. Not so much."_

_"Fine," Mercedes pouted. "We can draw a line down the middle of the bed. I'll never touch you again. Should we make it a new rule?"_

_"I don't like it." Sam turned to face her leaning back against the dresser, unbuttoning his blue shirt as he spoke. "If we have to stay on separate sides my hands can't roam in the middle of the night."_

_"Sounds like a bonus to me. Now I can get a good night sleep without being groped."_

_"You love being groped. You always snuggle into my hands."_

_"And you love my legs across you." Mercedes crawled to the foot of bed, holding onto the carved wooden footboard, as she sat back on her knees. "I can tell by how you rub them and hold them there."_

_"I guess the line down the bed is out. We are a sappy couple that likes to spoon," he chuckled as he leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead._

_She ran her hands down his half buttoned shirt, tugging him closer to her. "Let's just keep that to ourselves. Don't want to ruin our reps."_

_"Gotcha," he winked, kissing her quickly again before returning to getting undressed._

_"Did you eat? I can go and heat up something."_

_"Had takeout."_

_"The diner?" asked Mercedes as she leaned back into her pillows._

_"Burger special."_

_"Sam…"_

_"I know, I know, I need to eat better, try a vegetable once in awhile."_

_"Or something not fried."_

_"When is that nutrition class of yours going to be over? I think it's turning you into a nagging wife."_

_"It's not nagging. I care."_

_"I appreciate that. I do. But I draw the line at you packing me lunches," he stated raising his voice from inside the closet._

_"As if I would ever do anything so domestic. I'm way too self centered to take time out of my sleep schedule to get up and make you lunches."_

_"Says the woman who insists on having breakfast with me every day." He placed his pajamas on his side of the bed._

_"That's different. Sometimes I get lucky. You're so good and attentive in the mornings."_

_Sam cracked a crooked grin. "I'm good all the time baby."_

_Mercedes rolled her eyes and smiled. "So you keep telling me."_

_"I've got tons of glowing reviews."_

_"I bet. A woman in every port?"_

_He placed his cell phone and his wallet on the nightstand before taking a seat on his side of the bed. "And all of those internet comments. I think there is a video somewhere."_

_"Samistheman. com?"_

_"You've been?" Sam asked turning to look at her._

_"Repeatedly. Have it bookmarked."_

_"So you've read the praise. 'Sam is not only devastatingly handsome but also an amazing lover.' Some poster named MercyMe wrote that one. I think she has the hots for me," he grinned._

_"How ever do you hold up such a swelled head on your skinny little neck?"_

_"Only speaking the truth. Should we check out that video?"_

_"How can you even joke about that sex tape?"_

_"Easy. I married my co-star," he said running his finger lightly over the slope of Mercedes' nose, as he held her gaze. "It's not a sex tape, it's more like a home movie."_

_"Hopefully one that never gets played at a family reunion."_

_"Why not? I looked damn good in it. And you were definitely satisfied. Clutching the sheets, screaming my name, maybe we should do a sequel. Rehearsals start tonight. Up for it?"_

_"Let me get back to you on that. I may need convincing."_

_"Five minutes in the shower and I'll be right back to make my case," he said as he took the shoes he just removed to the closet._

_"I like the sound of that." Mercedes took off her purple robe and made herself more comfortable in the bed sliding only her feet under the covers._

_"Mercedes what the hell?" asked Sam as he stepped out of the closet._

_"What?"_

_He gestured toward her with his hand. "My shirt."_

_"Oh I found this old thing in the drawer," she said looking down at herself. The old gray t-shirt fell to her mid thighs when she stood. It was a little snug across her chest but well worn and soft. "It has a few holes in it, so I figured you wouldn't mind if I borrowed it."_

_"You figured wrong."_

_"It's just an old shirt."_

_"It's from basic training. That shirt and I have been through a lot together. It is one of my favorites. Very precious to me."_

_"It has holes in it."_

_"It has history."_

_"Fine. I saw another one in there I can wear instead. McKinley football or something."_

_"What? No." He ran his hands through his hair as he stood in the middle of the room and looked at her._

_"Okay that one was ripped on the shoulders."_

_"From my pads."_

_"And it's one of your favorites?"_

_"I've had that shirt since sophomore year. I made varsity for the first time. It's my lucky shirt."_

_"I've never seen you wear it."_

_"Sometimes under my suit when I have to close a major deal."_

_"Learned something new about you tonight. Sam Evans is sentimental and superstitious."_

_"Of course I am. I'm a southerner."_

_"I need to add this to your case file. Right under clothes in the closet must be sorted by color."_

_"It makes it easier to get dressed."_

_"Shoes must be lined up in a row on the floor."_

_"So I don't have to go searching frantically for a mate, like you always seem to be doing."_

_"And the toothpaste must be squeezed from the bottom up."_

_"Now that's just common sense. You use it more efficiently that way."_

_"New entry. Don't wear Sam's old holey worn out t-shirts. He freaks out."_

_"I didn't freak out. I just don't want them messed up."_

_"Beyond the holes you mean?" she asked scooting over as Sam sat down on her side of the bed._

_"Those holes are part of why I love them. See that hole in the middle of the shirt you're wearing." Sam put his finger into the hole, tickling her stomach. "I got that in basic training during a maneuver. One of the hardest challenges of my life and I made it. That shirt reminds me of that."_

_"Fine. I'll take it off." She turned to get out of the bed, placing her feet on the floor, the shirt rising as she moved revealing her thick brown bare legs._

_"Wait." Sam stopped her, putting his hand on her knee._

_"What is it?"_

_"New rule. You can wear my favorite shirt as much as you please, as long as you wear nothing underneath it." He ran his hand up her leg, until it disappeared under the hem of his shirt, his fingers gripping her bare hips as he shifted her back onto the bed. Mercedes clasped her hands behind his neck, causing the shirt to rise even higher, almost to her waist._

_"Are you sure about this new rule? I can find something else to wear. I'll just take it off."_

_"I think the rule should also state that no one gets to take off the shirt but me. It is my shirt after all."_

_"I guess that's fair. Seal it with a kiss?" she asked smiling at him._

_"Multiple kisses. Here." He placed a kiss on her knee. "There." Soft lips trailing up her thigh, his hands still gripping her hips as his mouth eased up her body. "And let's not forget here."_

_"I protest. You missed a spot."_

_He shook his head. "I'm saving it for later. That spot deserves my full attention."_

_"Well if you insist." He climbed on top of her, his whole body covering hers with his own, her small hands rubbing his bare chest under his open shirt. Mercedes wiggled beneath him as his belt buckle grazed her bare belly._

_"You're doing a lot of moving there. Trying to tell me something?"_

_"Buckle's cold." Sam rolled over on his back pulling Mercedes with him. She straddled his waist, her black hair falling into her face as she looked down at him._

_"I think I want my shirt back now."_

_"You said I could wear it." He reached under the shirt, rubbing the underside of her bare breasts with his thumbs. Mercedes closed her eyes and sucked in her lower lip at his touch, a shiver running through her body. With one swift movement he yanked the shirt over her head._

_"I like you better in this," he replied, his voice suddenly huskier as the mood between them shifted._

_"But I'm not wearing anything." She ran her fingers through his hair, pushing the dirty blonde strands away from his face._

_"Exactly," he smirked as he pulled her down flush with his body, pushing her hair out of the way as he kissed down her neck to her shoulder, his hands running down her bare back._

* * *

><p>If she concentrated hard enough she could almost feel his touch, his long fingers imprinting a trail on her skin as he explored her body. Mercedes never knew it was possible to miss anyone so badly that it hurt. Heartache always seemed like just a poetic notion, used by those prone to dramatics. But here she was essentially without him, and the pain was becoming almost unbearable.<p>

Mercedes couldn't put it off any longer. She had to face the unpleasantness and go see Quinn. Rising to her feet, she pushed through the double doors, and entered the ward. She owed it to Sam. And to Beth.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

Standing in front of the dresser mirror, Quinn brushed her long blonde hair. One hundred strokes a night until it shined. She wasn't allowed her salon conditioner in the hospital, so she was forced to follow whatever regime it took to not look completely like she had let herself go. She may be down on her luck and on her last leg but she didn't have to look the part. Putting the brush away in the top drawer of her dresser, she took one last look in the mirror, her black fitted tank top in sharp contrast with her blonde hair that cascaded about her shoulders. She removed her glasses, before turning to sit on the edge of the bed.

After nine pm, and Quinn had finally been released from her hospital room upstairs and allowed to return to her room in the psych ward. For the first time she was actually happy to see the place, with its yellow walls and cold concrete floor. At least it was a space of her own, where she had a window, someplace to look out and dream. It suddenly struck Quinn that her room at the hospital was the closest she had ever come to a home of her own, well a home on her own. Quinn had always lived with other people, children at the orphanage, then her parents, Puck, Julian, Beiste and even Sam. Their stay at the Beacon was in two separate rooms, technically, but they were together so often during that time it almost felt like they had shared a space. Here in the hospital Quinn was completely alone and that simple fact terrified and excited her all at once.

The room had been cleaned while she had been away, sheets changed, floor mopped, dirty dishes cleared away. A small bouquet of wild flowers and a six pack of bottled Evian had appeared on her bedside table, the card signed with a simple "thinking of you". It had to be from Puck. He tended to do little thoughtful things for her like bringing her silk sheets, flowers, and the occasional box of Belgian chocolates. Being an Evans the rules didn't seem to apply and he came and went as he pleased, bearing gifts that others were not allowed to bring past the main desk. Quinn was glad their friendship had managed to survive their tattered relationship. She had so few friends, she needed to keep the ones she had. Despite what Santana had said earlier, Puck was most definitely a friend and only a friend. In fact, Quinn was pretty sure that Puck just spent time with her and brought her gifts as a way to pay her back for their tumultuous relationship. He held a lot of guilt about how his drug addiction decayed their relationship. Also sometimes when two people share a complex history the lines get blurred and old feelings resurface, making things appear more than they actually were. Quinn was certain that was what Santana was picking up on. Anything else between her and Puck had certainly been put to rest.

If only the same could be said for her and Sam. Theirs was a tangled web of love, heartache, longing, sex, make that great sex, and friendship, a twisted history that never would be unraveled. Every time she thought she had finally separated that part of him from her herself, from her heart, something would happen and he would take an even greater hold, memory and present colliding creating this almost living entity that was uniquely theirs. Quinn never had a friendship like the one she had with Sam. Deep and unconditional, bound by a trust that could only come from the years they spent caring about each other. They had both found happiness with Puck and Mercedes, yet somehow through all of that they managed to get even closer to each other, creating a bond stronger than the one they first forged as teens. It was like they shared an inextricable link and no matter what happened in their lives, in the end it always came down to each other. Sam and Quinn forever, like those words he had carved in that tree all those years ago. When there was nothing else, they still remained.

Softly fingering the rosary that hung from her lamp on the bedside table, Quinn said a silent prayer for Sam's recovery. She had faltered in her prayers of late, her faith tested by each blow to her life and sanity, but she had to believe that God was at least looking out for Beth and for Sam. She scooted up to the head of her bed, her chin on the headboard, feet tucked under her, staring out into the night. She hoped Beth was sleeping snuggly in her crib surrounded by stars, dreaming of sweet things that only babies know. Even though she knew Mercedes wanted to edge her out of Beth's life at least Quinn didn't have to worry about her being loved and well cared for. She could see Mercedes was doing that, better than she ever had.

"Hey."

Quinn hadn't heard the door open, yet there Mercedes was in the doorway, in a long, ill fitting t-shirt and pink sweatpants.

"Don't you knock?" asked Quinn turning to face her.

"I did. You didn't respond," shrugged Mercedes as she walked into the room closing the door behind her.

"Maybe I was asleep."

"Figured you weren't."

Quinn sighed irritably. "So what are you doing here Mercedes?"

Mercedes leaned against the wooden door as she spoke. "It's been a couple of rough days for all of us, I was hoping we could clear the air." She looked tired, her black hair again in a sloppy bun, her brown skin dull, and her eyes looked sunken into her face.

"So you're here to gloat? Rub it in my face about how I lost it in court?" Just seeing Mercedes left a bad tasted in Quinn's mouth. She could still hear her telling the judge that she basically was an unfit mother.

"No. I actually thought what happened in court was rather sad. I feel bad for you Quinn."

Quinn stood up fully prepared to usher Mercedes from her room. "I don't need your fake pity. I made things so much easier for you. I bet you're smiling inside." She may be locked in a mental ward but she didn't have to be patronized by some condescending bitch that was trying to steal her baby.

"I heard they are going to send you upstate. Beth's going to lose her mother. Nothing about that makes me happy."

"We're all alone now Mercedes," said Quinn crossing her arms across her chest. "You can stop pretending. You hate me, you want me gone. I'm in the way of your little plan."

Mercedes looked down at the floor a slight smile on her face. "You're talking crazy right now."

"Don't call me crazy!" Quinn's heart was pounding as the anger began to take hold. "I can see right through you little girl. You want my daughter. You want Sam…"

"Sam is already mine," interrupted Mercedes calmly.

"Not for long. Once he wakes up and sees all you've done to me."

"I haven't done anything to you. You've done it all to yourself. You are the one that keeps messing things up with Beth. You can't seem to pull it together and she needs you now more than ever."

Mercedes was staying so composed, her back still anchored to the door, while Quinn felt herself filling with agitation. It was as if Mercedes were deliberately trying to show her up by being the more mature one in the conversation. So what that no one was around to witness the display. Quinn was sure Mercedes would find a way to use it against her somehow.

"Why does she need me more now? What's going on?"

"It's…" she hesitated. "It's nothing. Beth just needs her family. That's actually why I stopped by tonight. I wanted to show you this. I took it earlier today," she explained, taking her phone out of her pocket, and tapping the screen before handing it over to Quinn. A video was playing.

"Oh it's Beth." Quinn broke into a smile. "With Dwight."

"Yeah. She loves her Grandpa Dwight."

"I can tell by the way she's hitting him." Her baby was alert and happy. So many smiles as she played with Dwight. Quinn felt herself tearing up as she watched.

Mercedes walked over to her and pointed at the tiny screen. "Look what she does right there."

"Oh my goodness Mercedes. Is she sitting up?"

She nodded. "Yep all by herself."

"I can't believe you caught this on video," said Quinn handing Mercedes back her phone. "Thank you for showing me."

"I figured you'd want to see such a major event."

"I'm missing so much aren't I?"

"She's growing really fast. Dwight has her at the mansion tonight. I'm sure he will have Figgins taking lots of pictures."

Quinn noticed Mercedes' smile as she talked about Dwight. She could tell that she had a soft spot for the man. It made sense. After all Dwight was Mercedes's father in-law, but Quinn still couldn't help feeling a little envious at the ease in which Mercedes seemed to have ingratiated herself with the Evans family. Quinn had known them for longer and they still seemed like strangers.

"Dwight alone with the baby?" Quinn couldn't imagine Dwight changing a diaper or giving a bottle.

"Well there is staff of course, and Beiste. He and Beiste make quite the babysitting team. Beth has her own room at the house. She's quite happy there."

Beth was getting to know her extended family, a good thing, even if they were an unconventional bunch. Maybe she should call her own parents, invite them to visit and finally meet their granddaughter. Quinn quickly dismissed the thought. She just wasn't ready to deal with her parents and their inevitable judgment. Once she got her life on track, then she'd deal with Russell and Judy Fabray.

"I wish…I just have to get out of this place."

"So I saw the papers," Mercedes said slowly. "Wandering the streets?"

"I had a bad reaction to my medication." Quinn took a seat on her bed, focusing on smoothing the wrinkles in the cream and pink floral comforter, instead of looking at Mercedes.

"But you're okay now?"

She ran her fingers through her hair. "According to the doctors I am."

"That's good to hear." Mercedes actually sounded relieved.

"Do you really mean that?" asked Quinn eyeing her suspiciously.

"Beth can't lose anyone else. Not now…"

Quinn watched Mercedes twist her ring round and round her finger, the large diamond standing out in startling contrast with Mercedes's extremely casual state of dress. The ring could almost have been called gaudy, it was so huge, if the diamond weren't so flawless. It didn't take a jeweler to see that Sam had given Mercedes the best.

"Even if things don't go well for me, she still has you… and Sam." Quinn hesitated, the words suddenly lodged in her throat. Beth never really had her father, but Quinn had to keep hoping that one day she would.

"Yeah but we can't always count on things staying the same. Things can change so quickly." Tears were shining in Mercedes's eyes. Quinn could see the sadness cross her features. She instinctively tensed up fearing that Mercedes' mood was about Sam. Had he gotten worse?

"Mercedes what's wrong?" A sadness had surrounded Mercedes since she had arrived, building Quinn's apprehension the longer she was in her presence.

"I told you it's nothing." Mercedes wavered on her feet. Quinn stood up and reached out to grab her arm, to steady her, but Mercedes pulled away from her grasp, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Hey are you okay?" asked Quinn more than a little concerned. The last thing she needed was Mercedes collapsing on her floor. People would accuse her of doing something to hurt her, especially after what happened in court. "Why don't you sit down?"

"I'm fine. It's just a little warm in here." She swayed again, grabbing for the edge of the dresser to steady herself. Quinn pulled out the lone chair in the room and offered it to Mercedes. "Maybe I will sit for a minute."

Quinn grabbed a bottle of water from the bedside table and handed it to Mercedes. "Here have some water."

"Flowers and bottled water?" Mercedes cocked an eyebrow at the display on the table.

"They're from Puck," Quinn explained sheepishly. "He's so sweet."

Taking a swallow of water, Mercedes sat back in the chair. "He's definitely something. Must be nice having so many men falling at your feet. Puck, my father, that cute lawyer of yours."

"I think you have things flipped. I'm not the one that has the entire Evans family backing her up." Jealousy was a petty emotion. Quinn could admit that. Still didn't keep her from feeling it. She just couldn't figure out how Mercedes had won Sam's family over.

"They're Sam's family. I take care of Sam, so they're nice to me." She said it so nonchalantly as if the Evans' were the Huxtables. They were coldhearted and at times lethal. They were never nice without a motive.

"And you take care of Beth," added Quinn as she returned to her seat on the bed.

"Makes them doubly nice," said Mercedes as she watched the water swish in the bottle as she twirled it.

"From where I'm sitting, looks like they care about you for more than just that. Whereas they all hate me."

"Well I haven't slept with half the men in Sam's family, so I've got one up on you."

Quinn mentally counted to ten before speaking, biting back the nasty retort hovering on the tip of her tongue. "I thought we were playing nice."

"We are. I guess I hit my threshold, better leave before I say something I regret." Rising from the chair, her eyes scanning the room as if she were making sure she wasn't leaving anything behind.

"Okay well thanks again…for the video."

"You're welcome."

"And for looking out for Beth."

"I'd do anything for her," she responded a small smile breaking on her face.

She looked so young to Quinn, like a child playing an adult role. Maybe it was that she was wearing Sam's Army t-shirt, it didn't fit, which in turn made it look more obvious that Mercedes didn't fit as well. She was so short, definitely built solid, sturdy. If she were a cheerleader she could have been a post, strong thighs and nice shoulders to carry the load of the squad. Yet somehow she still seemed easily breakable, especially tonight when she clearly wasn't feeling well, but Quinn had learned that Mercedes was more than she seemed, more flexible than her chubby frame portrayed, bending into impossible angles before snapping.

"I can see how much you love my daughter. She's well cared for," Quinn added softly. "Can I ask you something?"

Mercedes looked uncertain, her hand poised on the knob to leave. "Okay."

"How did you come up with that castle in the sky?"

It probably was wiser to let it go, to let her curiosity just fade away until it was safe to discuss what she had seen in Beth's nursery. Wouldn't take much for Mercedes to figure out Quinn had been in the room if she said too much, so Quinn tried to keep it light, but she couldn't let her leave without asking.

"How do you know about that?"

"I know about the mural." Mercedes' eyes narrowed in doubt. "Coach B told me," Quinn added quickly. "She said Sue had it done based on a story you told Beth."

"Her castle in the stars." Mercedes smiled as if picturing the wall in her mind.

"How did you come up with that? Was it from a book?" Quinn held her breath awaiting the answer, her pulse pounding anxiously.

"No, just a story I tell Beth every day."

Something clicked and Quinn knew. It was so obvious she should have guessed before. It would have had to be Mercedes, only she would have understood. At first Quinn had assumed the mural was some sort of message for her, a coded threat to mock Quinn's pain and taunt her with the notion that she would never get Beth back, that she didn't deserve to.

"To keep her safe?" asked Quinn as she got up to stand in front of Mercedes by the door.

"Something like that. Safe, protected and loved."

"Did you know I was in and out of hospitals growing up? Mental wards mainly, and group homes when I wasn't deemed fit to live with my family."

"Yes both Sam and Julian have mentioned that to me."

"It was bad. I had a family, but they used to ship me off so much I would almost wish I could be adopted." Her eyes closed, head against the door as she let herself go back to that time. "Hoping some family would see me and want me enough to take me home."

"Adoptive parents are not always what they seem. Consider yourself lucky you never got shipped off with some psycho."

"There are good parents out there too. Ones that raise kids as their own, love them, unconditionally, cherish them. Never send them away because they do one little thing wrong or because they are not perfect. That's the kind of parent you're being with Beth aren't you?"

"I hope so."

Quinn had never really noticed before but Mercedes was really quite emotional, her eyes welling with tears numerous times in a conversation, like she physically couldn't contain the emotions she tried to keep bottled up. Until recently Quinn was the exact opposite. Tears were always the last resort. Even now that she cried so much more than ever before in her life, it was always a shock to feel them on her face or stinging in her eyes, a surprise attack by her body as it deviated from her normally staid demeanor.

"See I never had that as a little girl. No one wanted me, and if they did, it wasn't for long. It was my biggest wish to have a home. A wish I never really got…not even now."

Her life packed up in boxes, whisked away by Puck for safekeeping. The things she cherished most fit easily in her tiny hospital room. If Quinn were released tomorrow where would she go? Outside of relying on the kindness of others, again, Quinn had no refuge and no means to create one for herself. She was twenty-seven and still living like an orphan.

"I never had a home until I moved in with Beiste. My mom and I were always on the move, from one hotel to or short term lease apartment to the next."

"You're lucky you found Coach B…and Sam," said Quinn looking at Mercedes out of the corner of her eye, trying to gauge her reaction. "He's your home now too? Right?"

"He made my biggest dream come true." As she watched Mercedes swipe at the tears falling down her face, Quinn knew she was on the right track, she had hit a nerve.

"To be safe, protected and loved?"

"How did you know that?" Mercedes looked at her in shock, as if Quinn had suddenly revealed herself as clairvoyant.

"What was your castle like Mercedes?" she pressed, perhaps unwisely but she needed to see it through, she had to know.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she answered fidgeting uncomfortably and staring down at her feet.

"When you were a kid, alone in those hotels. What was your castle like? Mine was pink."

"You had a castle?" More shock. She watched Quinn intently as if she were seeing her for the first time.

Feeling self conscious under her scrutiny, Quinn continued. "Not so much a castle, more like a cottage. It was all pink with a yellow door and inside there was a mommy and daddy and they loved me and kept me forever. I can remember one year when my parents hardly ever let me come home at all. I was labeled a problem by then and most facilities didn't even question them dropping me off anymore."

That particular group home was also for orphaned children and every Sunday the kids were prepped to hopefully be picked out of the crowd and be taken to a new home. It wasn't like a pageant, where all the children were lined up and judged. The group home tried to make it seem more personal. Parents came to visit and observe the children in their natural habitats, at play in a room filled with toys. The parents never knew the toy room was out of bounds except on visitation days, kept under lock and key. They also seemed not to realize that the children were spit shined and dressed in their finest just to make a positive impression, a picture perfect illusion. Even though Quinn wasn't an orphan, she still tried to be good on visitation days, her big green eyes, blonde hair curling, ribbons framing her face. She was often chosen, the most popular puppy in the lot, only to be shoved back into the room when the home's administration informed the prospective parents that she wasn't up for adoption. But for a few short moments each Sunday she knew what it felt like to be chosen and wanted, to be met with smiles and golden promises, before she was returned to her lonely corner, tear stained and tarnished.

"How old were you?"

"Maybe ten or eleven."

"That's too young to feel so hopeless."

A whole year of watching other children getting picked and taken to a new home made Quinn realize that pretty dresses and curls didn't mean much and that tears were a waste, if she couldn't play the part to back it up. "She was too quiet, too shy. Strong willed they whispered, she doesn't act like a normal little girl, something's wrong with her. She never smiles. Her eyes, they follow us around like a creepy porcelain doll. We think she might be evil. She tried to kill us in our sleep, standing over our beds, her glassy eyes just staring. And what about the fire? She said it was an accident, but why would a child try to bake a cake in the middle of the night anyway? She needs to come with a warning label so others will steer clear." Quinn had heard every single critique, the director of the orphanage had told her parents, not bothering to check if she were out of earshot. She had tried to be good, perfect, and loving with everyone, but it was outside that door, ear pressed against the wood, that she learned she could never be those things. She didn't measure up.

"I guess that's why I needed my pink cottage to escape to. Any hope I had was in there."

Mercedes stumbled over her words, struggling to get them to flow. "When I used to have to…when I had to help my mom…sometimes with earning some money. I could go places in my mind. Felt like whatever was happening in the real world wasn't happening to me." Quinn could see how painful it was for Mercedes, as if she were physically breaking through some walled up door in her mind to reveal this part of herself.

"Where did you go?"

"It was a huge white mansion, so bright from the sunlight through all the windows. I would lie in the middle of the room on the cool white tile floor and stare at the ceiling. There were no doors, so no one could ever get in and it was always sunny. It never got dark."

"You were scared of the dark?"

She nodded. "Must sound strange to picture myself alone in a white room, but I always figured that the right person would find a way in."

"And rescue you? Is that what Sam did?"

There was an eerie similarity between her and Mercedes. Sam had pulled Quinn into the light all those years ago, when he noticed her, liked her, cared about her. He picked her out of the lot, and held her tight. Now over ten years later it seemed he did the same for Mercedes, saving her from her frightened loneliness, holding her fast in the light.

"What am I doing?" Mercedes shook her head as she pulled open the door, as if the entire conversation had been some haze she had wandered into. "I can't believe I'm talking to you about this. I'm gonna go."

"Did you give Beth a castle in the stars because I left her outside?" She bluntly put it out there. No more cautious footing, she needed to know.

"I didn't want her to be afraid of the night. I wanted her to know the stars would always protect her."

"Because I left her outside in the dark alone? You thought she was scared? You thought she would need a castle."

"I don't know. Maybe. You tried to kill her." Mercedes looked Quinn straight in the eyes, hostility edging her words.

"I didn't. I left her for you and Sam."

"In the woods, where no one would find her. Why didn't you just leave her with me?"

Moving toward the window to stare out, it was too much to look at Mercedes, the contempt was so visible in her eyes. "I wasn't thinking straight. I knew I couldn't take care of her anymore, but I never meant to hurt her."

"But you did. You knew what it was like to be scared and alone, unloved and you did that to your own baby…to Sam's baby. How could you do that to her?" Her voice cracked with emotion. Quinn could hear the tears.

"I was sick. What do you want me to say?" she asked still unable to face her. Quinn could feel Mercedes moving closer to her, the still air of the room stirring as Mercedes approached.

"How about taking some responsibility for your actions? You're acting like it's no big deal because Beth is fine now."

Of course it was a big deal. She never wanted her child to go through any of the things she had to endure. That's why she let her go. At the time she was feeling like that damaged little girl she was tagged as in the facility, her poison was contagious and she didn't want Beth to be infected. So she had left her for her father. It was in her confusion that she didn't think that Sam was comatose and unable to come get Beth. In her mind, Quinn was sure Beth would be safe. Sam would know where she was and save their baby from her. Now that her mind was clearer, she could see how those actions looked to everyone else, abandonment pure and simple. Yet even now a part of Quinn still felt it, that Beth was better off under the stars waiting for Sam, her baby needed her father.

"No I'm not," she said turning Mercedes right at her heels. "I know I did a horrible thing, but Beth is safe. Thank god."

"For how long? She is about to lose everything. Her entire world…"

"Mercedes what are you talking about? You're starting to scare me." Mercedes was keeping something from her. Something big. She could tell by the way Mercedes would look a little ill whenever she brought it up.

"Here's a hint. Stop worrying about Sam and get your own life together." Mercedes was on the defensive now, covering up whatever detail she almost revealed, like a Chihuahua protecting its bone.

"Excuse me?"

"I know Quinn."

"You know what?"

"I know you've been visiting Sam, sneaking out of your little padded cell here to see him."

She guessed she had been spotted. She wondered who else Mercedes had told. Things could get tricky from now on, if Mercedes had revealed her visits to the hospital staff. Quinn would be watched more than ever.

"Sam's my friend. I was worried about him."

"Why don't you just stick to concerning yourself about Beth? Sam is off limits." Mercedes crossed her arms and stuck out her chin, daring Quinn to contradict her.

"Sam and I share a child so he will never be off limits whether you like it or not." Gloves off, Quinn was irritated.

"You may share a child, but I'm his wife."

What gave this girl the gall to speak to her like this? She had been married to Sam for ten minutes and she was acting like she was the foremost authority on everything in his life. Quinn bet Mercedes didn't know half as much about Sam as she did. A big ring and loads of sex don't mean much next to over ten years of friendship.

"Jump down off your high horse Mercedes. The only reason you're with Sam is because of guilt. If the accident had never happened you would've left him for good."

"That's not true."

Mercedes was crying now and Quinn couldn't help but feel satisfied. She was twisting the knife and it felt good, just like Quinn was sure Mercedes enjoyed sticking it to her in court the other day.

"Isn't that why you kept Shane waiting in the wings? He was your replacement after the divorce was final. Only Sam wound up in a coma and now you're stuck."

"You shut your damn mouth. You know nothing about me. I love Sam." Her face was puffy and shiny from tears, Quinn almost wanted to back off. She knew Mercedes loved Sam, she knew how much she cared about him, but something inside wouldn't let her. It felt too important to teach Mercedes a lesson. She was no better than Quinn, even if she had his ring, they had both hurt Sam in unspeakable ways.

"Not hard to figure out. You're consumed by guilt because you put Sam in a coma. So you overcompensate by acting like the devoted wife. But it's all an act since you are screwing Shane on the side."

"I don't believe this. Are you for real? You're actually accusing me of cheating when you're the one that slept with my husband and broke Puck's heart."

Quinn was tired of being the only bad guy. Mercedes had broken the same hearts, yet somehow she was the innocent victim. "I made a mistake that night. At least I can admit it. When are you going to step up? Admit the truth?"

"What truth?" asked Mercedes her lower lip trembling.

"Truth is the only reason Sam and I had sex, the reason Beth is here, is because of you. You couldn't let go of Shane. You married Sam even though you were in love with another man. Now that's low. Sam was devastated when he found out."

"Sam knows what happened between me and Shane. He understands," she said weakly, not sounding convincing at all.

"That's why he came home to me every night distraught over you, because he understood?"

"Home? What in the hell are you talking about?"

Quinn moved in for the kill. "Didn't you know? Did Sam keep you in the dark about something?"

"Sam didn't keep things from me…except that once." Mercedes shook her head as she backed away toward the door, reeling from what Quinn had just said.

"Looks like it was twice. After you kicked him out, he got a suite at the Beacon Hotel."

"I know that…"

"With me." Quinn couldn't contain her smile as she watched Mercedes digest that fact. She looked like she wanted to throw up.

"They need to up your meds. You're completely delusional."

"It's true Mercedes. Sam and I spent every night together for almost a month. So while you leaned on your doctor, Sam leaned on me."

"You're lying."

Embellishing maybe, but not lies. Night after night holding hands though the balcony bars, alcohol infused conversations until the sun came up. When it was especially bad, when Mercedes threw Shane in his face, or Julian and Puck put her stuff on the curb, they would break their self created boundaries and find solace in each other. Not sex, not this time, they knew better now, but it was intimate, connected, and exactly what they needed.

"I'm not and you know I'm not. I can tell by the look on your face."

"Sam told me there was nothing going on between you."

"I guess he was saying what he thought you needed to hear."

Mercedes picked up the water bottle from the dresser, for a moment Quinn thought Mercedes might throw it. Instead she opened it and took a swig, face contorting as she swallowed like she were drinking vodka instead of Evian.

"You're such a bitch. I can't believe I was feeling sorry for you. I don't know what the hell Sam sees in you."

"Right back at ya."

"Why do you insist on destroying his life? He can't even defend himself and you're telling me you were having an affair with him. Why would you do that? Do you want me to leave him? Do you want him miserable and alone just like you are?"

Mercedes seriously acted like she was the only person on the planet that could love Sam. Did she think his life would just fall apart without her? Someone needed to remind her that Sam had loved many women before her and probably would love many more after.

"You need to understand that you're not the only woman in Sam's life. You're not the only one he cares about."

"I'm the only one that matters. I'm the one he married."

Quinn didn't want to sound conceited, but the truth was the truth, Sam could fall in and out of love hundreds of times, but what they had would never end. She really wanted Mercedes to choke on that one.

"Sam has known me for far longer. We have a connection you can't begin to comprehend."

Mercedes rolled her eyes as she scratched at the back of her head, trying to act bored with the conversation. Quinn knew better. Mercedes was at rapt attention. "And yet he was willing to give you up for me."

Quinn furrowed her brows in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"The night of the accident he told me he would forget all about you, never speak to you again, if I would take him back."

She stepped back feeling sucker punched by Mercedes' words. "Sam would never say that."

Mercedes was clearly grasping at anything to one up Quinn in the fight. The weak attempts to downplay Quinn's relationship with Sam was pure desperation.

"He said I was the most important person in his life and that you were…expendable." She paused taking the time to look up and smile at Quinn. "So I guess your cheap ass little affair didn't mean anything to him. So much for that connection."

"You made that up trying to get back at me." Quinn's mind drifted to the night of the accident, her calls to Sam sent to voicemail. Was he really shutting her out that night? Quinn refused to believe it.

"Believe what you like, but remember this. I'm the one he wants. I'm the one he loves. So you stay the hell away from my husband or you'll regret it." Tension rolled off Mercedes in waves, visibly shaking with anger.

"Are you threatening me?" Quinn stepped into Mercedes' space, peering down at her from her height advantage. Mercedes was much shorter. Quinn could easily take her down, in and out of group homes schooled her in the art of giving beat downs. Mercedes threw back her shoulders, rolled her neck and stared Quinn down, not giving an inch. She had to hand it to Mercedes, she definitely was a fighter, brazen even when out matched.

"Everything good in here?" Artie came in through the open door, blocking Quinn's view of Mercedes with his body, as he stepped between them.

"Quinn and I have come to an understanding. Right Quinn?"

"For now. This isn't over." She tried to move around Artie's frame to get to Mercedes, but Artie wouldn't budge, holding Quinn by the arms to ensure she didn't move.

"Damn straight. Let's continue this conversation when you're all settled in at the mental hospital." Mercedes slammed the door behind her, an audible punctuation to their exchange. Quinn wasn't going to let her have the last word, one day she would put that girl in her place once and for all.

She let out a scream as she flopped on her bed, running her hand frantically through her hair as she tried to calm down. "I could've smacked that bitch. If you heard some of the things she said to me. Acting all high and mighty about Sam. Who died and left her the queen?"

"In a few weeks, maybe Sam will," stated Artie taking a seat in the chair, unbuttoning his navy wool coat.

Quinn looked over at him in alarm. "Sam? He isn't worse is he? Is he…"

"Sam's had no change," interrupted Artie. "I just meant she stands to inherit all his money. She has his power of attorney and she is the beneficiary of his estate from what Burt told me."

"Why are you talking about this stuff like Sam is dying? What are you keeping from me?"

"She didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"The family just found out Sam had a living will. He didn't want to be kept alive by artificial means after six months."

"It's been nine." Quinn's stomach sank as realization set in. Sam could really die.

"I know. So you can imagine."

"Oh my god and Mercedes is just going to let them kill him? To get his money?" She fought the urge to chase Mercedes down and pull her hair out by the roots.

"Actually Burt tells me Mercedes is contesting the will. She doesn't think Sam would feel the same way now. The will was drafted a few years ago."

"I agree. He wouldn't want to leave his baby."

"But he doesn't know."

"He does." Quinn could feel it.

"Well the document is legal and must be…"

"Does she have a chance to get it thrown out? To stop things?" she asked cutting him off.

"There have been cases that have dragged on for years but generally advance directives like Sam's stand. I'm sorry."

Quinn jumped up and started pacing the floor in front of her bed. This was a nightmare. "You've got to get me out of here Artie. My baby is going to have nobody."

"That's actually why I stopped by. I've got a plan."

"Is it a good one? I really need it to work."

"Foolproof. Scouts honor." He made the Boy Scouts sign with his hand.

Quinn crossed her arms and looked him over skeptically. "Were you really a scout?"

"Yep. All the way to Eagle." He smiled, his eyes crinkling in the corners, his blue eyes sparkling with what looked like mischief. "So trust me. You're going home."

Home. The intangible dream that had always eluded her, maybe this time it would actually be different. Quinn shut her eyes and leaned back on her bed, letting her mind transport her to that little pink house with the yellow doors. Maybe this time she would get a chance to have that home, her little cottage, with Beth.


	34. Chapter 34

Thanks for reading/commenting/favoriting I truly appreciate it. Moving along because I so want you guys to read chapter 35.

In this chapter Sam gets a surprise visitor and Quinn travels down memory lane show glimpses of Sam's heart. Let me know what you think!

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><p><strong>Chapter 34<strong>

The green leather couch in the staff lounge squeaked as Mercedes sat on it, the shiny leather sticking to her bare legs as she leaned back. The lounge felt hot, so Mercedes delayed putting on her work attire, instead choosing to relax in her navy cotton running shorts and white tank top that she often wore under her scrubs. She pulled her legs up onto the couch, and curled on her side, her head resting in the crook of her arm. She was stalling. Usually she would have been up and dressed and already in Sam's room by now, but today she just couldn't seem to get motivated.

It could've been stomach virus. She had been throwing up repeatedly in the staff lounge when Julian had happened upon her Friday night. The whole uncomfortable encounter with Quinn had left her queasy, a feeling she often had in Quinn's presence, but not enough to prompt the level of retching she underwent that night. Julian tried to admit her to the hospital, hook her up to an IV. She guessed dry heaving and the occasional trickle of bile was enough to cause her father serious alarm. He operated on all sorts of body parts daily, never broke a sweat, but his daughter hunched over a trashcan, warranted a stint in ICU.

It might have been something she ate, though Mercedes couldn't quite remember the last time she had actually eaten. Which probably explained the excessive dry heaving, her body simply had nothing to purge. But a virus seemed more likely and she couldn't risk exposing Sam to any more germs so she had gone home. Two days ago. The first time since the accident that Mercedes had not seen Sam every day. She never skipped a visit, even if she could only manage a few minutes, she made sure she went and let him know she loved him, missed him, wanted him to come back. But it was Monday now, past three in the afternoon and she hadn't been to see Sam since Friday morning. She hadn't seen Beth either. She and Beiste had extended their stay with Dwight, and had spent the entire weekend at the mansion. She didn't want to risk exposing them either, to whatever it was she had.

So she had been home alone, on the couch primarily, staring at her wedding portrait that sat across the room on an end table, trying to tell herself that it was a potential virus that was keeping her away from the hospital, and not anything else. He had told her it was a one time thing, a moment of weakness brought on by extreme hurt and despair. And Mercedes had believed him. She still had planned on divorcing him, because only a fool would stay with a man that lied and cheated, but she had trusted that he was telling her the truth. She was such an idiot. He was sleeping with Quinn the whole time. Apparently he had a secret bungalow with Quinn at the Beacon Hotel. They probably laughed at her gullibility between their drunken romps. Mercedes' stomach twisted threatening to once again dispel its meager contents.

She could have been with Shane. All this time she was awash in guilt because she had briefly entertained the thought of cheating with Shane. She should have just done it. Sam obviously had. So technically Mercedes didn't want Shane, he wasn't enough to quell her desire for Sam, but it was the principle of the matter. If Sam got to stick and move all over town with his "best friend" then she should be able to do the same, without guilt or attacks of conscience. And that was what Shane had been, a friend.

When she first met Shane he helped her with biochemistry and adjusting to college life in Lima. He was a welcome diversion when Mercedes was trying desperately to get over Sam and accept that all they'd ever have was friendship. She had fallen for Dr. Tinsley. His encouragement, his camaraderie, his corny jokes. It was nice to be with someone so normal, and so different than Sam. Built like a bulldozer, dark skin, and a little mustache, Shane was pretty much the polar opposite of Sam and that was such a good thing. And as long as she rarely saw Sam, he was enough. It was the perfect plan, losing herself in someone else in order to lose interest in Sam. Without a doubt it had been a success, until Sam decided that Mercedes was what he wanted. After that the charade was up. There was no one on earth that Mercedes wanted more than Sam. There still wasn't.

She was hopeless sucker. Sam had her so off her game, no one conned her, ever. Yet clearly Sam had. A suite at the Beacon with Quinn, for a month? All that crap he had said the night of the accident was lies? Even when he was in pain, in and out of consciousness, he was lying to her? It just didn't feel right. That night trapped in the car, she and Sam had connected in a way they never had before. Mercedes felt like she was seeing directly into his soul. The emotions had been so raw and real. He couldn't have faked that. Sam never lied to her or kept things from her, except for that once. Mercedes' stomach clenched again as she remembered his advance directive. He had never mentioned that living will to her either. After the wedding, they had given each other power of attorney, had wills drawn up, it would have been the perfect time to mention that document, and he hadn't. Did he just forget or was he deliberately keeping it from her?

Yawning loudly Mercedes reached down into her tote bag on the floor next to the couch, pulling out her laptop. She probably should have been studying, taking some time to familiarize herself with her class notes, but she didn't have the energy. Instead she clicked on the video icon and pulled up the software connected to the cameras monitoring Sam's hospital room. She rarely used the software, it felt too much like spying, but sometimes especially after a particularly terrifying nightmare, Mercedes would click on her computer and check in on him. Just to make sure. It had been days without seeing him, and she was starting to feel some rising guilt. What if he had missed her? What if he were thinking she had abandoned him? What if he had gotten worse? The window opened and a view of Sam's room filled her computer screen. He had a visitor. Mercedes sat up, instantly interested in the scene unfolding at Sam's bedside. She turned up the volume so she could listen in.

"Well Sam, little brother, it has been awhile. I know I should've gotten here sooner. I feel bad about it. I do. I hope you know I was with you in spirit and I was right outside a lot of the times. I met that little girl of yours. She's something. You should see her. Such a pretty thing, with big green eyes, and so big. Beth is such a happy, chubby little girl.

I got Beth her first football jersey. Titans, of course. I know you'd be training her to be a fan at an early age, prepping her for the disappointment that comes with rooting for the Titans. But better than the Bears right? Mercedes thinks I'm nuts talking football to a little baby. She just doesn't get it, football is in the blood."

Will took a seat in the chair beside the bed, inching it closer, as if Sam would somehow hear him better from that position.

"That wife of yours…" He smiled as he spoke "Well let's just say you sure know how to pick 'em. And I mean that in the best possible way. I know at first I was skeptical. I just didn't see you two as a match. Spending all this time with her, I get it now. Tough as nails, but so loving at the same time Mercedes has been our rock."

Mercedes jumped off the couch, shutting her laptop and putting back in her bag. She quickly pulled on her scrubs. Will had actually gone in. She had been trying for months to get Will to visit Sam, to get him to let go of his fears about Sam's condition. Nothing she did ever seemed to work, and now it looked as if Will had done it of his own accord. Mercedes tossed her bag in her locker and raced out of the lounge door. She wanted to catch Will before he left.

Outside of Sam's door, Mercedes could hear Will still talking inside. She hesitated for a moment not wanting to violate Will's privacy so blatantly, eavesdropping down the hall on her laptop was one thing, but ear pressed against a door was something else all together. Finally curiosity got the better of her and she inched open the door quietly as possible, sliding inside the room. Will didn't even look up as she entered, so Mercedes stood perfectly still against the door and listened.

"I know I got on you before about Brittany and Rachel. You probably thought I was the world's worst brother, never on your side. And I do regret some of the things that I said to you. I could've been more supportive. It's just hard for me to sit back and watch you make the same bad choices over and over. You're my baby brother, I was just trying to look out for you, like I always said I would. I know you don't remember, since you were about four at the time, but I put you on my knee and I promised to always be there for you and protect you. I haven't been the greatest at keeping up that promise, but I swear Sam, I never forgot it. You have always been the best part of finding out I was a Evans. Dwight and I may never see eye to eye, I consider Dan Schuester my real dad, but you Sam, have always been my family."

Will reached out toward the bed, his hand hovering above Sam's arm, hesitating, until finally he touched him. He rubbed Sam's arm, in soothing strokes up and down its length.

"I wish I had been around more when you were growing up. I was busy trying to build my career, you were away at boarding school, but I should've tried harder to make time. There were a few times there though we had some fun, didn't we? When I lived at the house for a bit, I remember you were really young, into dinosaurs, you used to drag me by the hand into your room to play. We would get down on the floor and play for hours. You were so smart too. I can remember you wanted the dinosaurs to run really fast, so you had me tape Hot Wheels to their feet and we would push them around the floor. I can still see you with shaggy dirty blonde hair always falling into your eyes, long legs, and big feet. Always ran everywhere, you could never just walk. You wanted to do everything fast." He chuckled, the smile fading from his lips as quickly as it had appeared.

Will removed his hand from Sam's arm, instead rubbing his own knees, as if he were the one that now needed soothing. He watched Sam, sighing with each quiet moment that passed. Looking down at his lap, he was silent for a few moments, as if he were regaining his composure, before he spoke again.

"Remember that one fishing trip? I think you were about ten or eleven and I took you and Puck up to the mountains for some male bonding. You and Puck got into a fist fight because he wanted throw the fish back into the water and you wanted to cook what you caught. You were a natural. I think you caught about ten fish. At one point it seemed like they were just jumping into the boat. I was amazed that a pampered little rich boy could be so at ease with roughing it. Probably why you were one hell of a soldier. Did I ever tell you how proud I am of you, of how you chose to serve your country? I always admired you for doing that. I guess there was so much I never said to you. Maybe it's too late for us now, but I swear on my life that I will tell it all to Beth. I won't let you down. I will love her like my own. You'll never have to worry. I promise you little brother."

Will gently squeezed Sam's hand that was resting on top of the blanket. Almost as if in response Sam rolled over on his side toward Will, and opened his eyes. Will jumped back in surprise, rocking the chair slight with his sudden movement, shock registering on his face.

"The first time it happened with me, I was shocked too. Jumped almost clear across the room, he scared me so bad."

Will looked over at Mercedes, not really seeming surprised she was in the room. "So does he do this often?"

"Doctors will say it is a reflex action. His body instinctively does things, but he isn't conscious he is doing it."

Mercedes walked over to the bed, taking a seat at the end of it, leaning slightly on Sam's leg. It felt weird being in the room after all the things Quinn had said. Almost like she were looking at a different person. She couldn't believe that her Sam would have betrayed her like this.

It did seem silly to be reluctant with him, for all she knew Quinn could've been making it all up. Sam couldn't share his side of things so how could Mercedes just condemn him? Crazy as it was, Mercedes couldn't help it. She was hurt. It felt like he had cheated on her all over again.

"And what do you think?" asked Will.

"Well my medical training lets me know that it doesn't mean he is waking up or anything, but Will sometimes, the way he moves at the most appropriate times, like he just did with you, I think he is trying to communicate with us."

"You really think he can hear us?" Will seemed skeptical, as most people were. No one really understood comas, there was so much misinformation out there.

"Sometimes when we are doing our daily ritual, baths, massages, all that stuff. He sometimes shifts as if to make it easier for me to maneuver him." Will arched his eyebrows in doubt. Mercedes continued, trying to persuade him. "I'm not crazy Will. He does it often."

"You take such good care of him. I know my brother put you through hell with the cheating and Beth."

Mercedes paused thinking about what Will said. "I don't think I knew what hell was before. Because this, Sam here but not here, where I can see him and touch him, but he is not responding, this is hell."

And just like that it didn't matter. Whatever did or didn't happen between him and Quinn was irrelevant now. All Mercedes wanted was her husband back. They had made it out of that car. They earned their second chance and Mercedes wanted more than anything to take it with him. The night of the accident when Sam had asked her to be with him, to give them another shot, her heart had leaped. She had wanted to tell him yes, but common sense prevailed and emotional impulsiveness was what had gotten them into the mess in the first place. So she had held her tongue. She never told him that she wanted him as much as he wanted her, that she never stopped loving him.

Mercedes physically flinched feeling all the painful memories of that night come back. He was hurting, tired and begging her to give him hope and she had done nothing. She never even said 'I love you'. That was the worst part of it all. She had a chance that night to say it and she chose not to. Now he was in a coma. She desperately needed another chance to tell him. She didn't want Sam to leave this life without knowing how much he was truly loved.

Will looked over at Sam, still in the bed, his chest gently rising and falling. "I can't stand to see him like this, he seems so frail."

They had removed the ventilator for the time being. The doctors didn't want him to become dependent on it. He seemed to be breathing better. The meds were keeping his infection at bay. At least it was no longer spreading. That was something.

"It's his feeding tube. He's only getting the essential nutrients so he has dropped weight. No more of the down home feasts that Dwight has Cook prepare."

"Or all of those hamburgers from the diner he used to consume in mass quantity."

Mercedes smiled remembering Sam's addiction to all things fried and beefy. "At least his cholesterol is lower."

"I used to tease him. Told him he was getting a gut, turning into a fat old married man." Will let out an audible sob, as he looked over at his brother motionless in the bed. "Now look at him. This is all my fault." He quickly ran his hand over his face removing any evidence of tears.

"What do you mean all your fault? You saved us Will."

"Does he look saved to you?" asked Will, anguish apparent in his voice.

"He's alive. Thanks to you."

Tears welled in Mercedes's eyes as she looked at the older man. He was in so much pain, so much guilt. She wished she could finally convince him that what happened wasn't his fault. He had given Sam a fighting chance in an impossible situation. Everyone was so grateful that he had at least tried. Sam wouldn't have made it this far without Will.

"I should've never tried hooking the cables to the helicopter to move the car, too risky."

Mercedes spoke fast, pleading with Will to believe her, to let go of this guilt he had been carrying. "There was no time. The car was starting to slide in the mud again. You had to do something."

"But look what it cost him, cost you. Mercedes what are you doing here? You shouldn't have to live like this. He shouldn't have to live like this." He gestured toward the array of monitors by Sam's bedside.

"This is about the living will isn't it?"

"I can't help thinking that Sam wouldn't want this." Will stood up and walked toward the window, looking out into the courtyard bright with the afternoon sun.

"Sam made that will before we were married. He just didn't have time to change it. I'm sure of it."

"How can you know that?" Will asked turning to look at her.

"Sam would never want me in this position. He would never want me to live through having to watch him taken off life support."

She moved up closer to Sam on the bed, taking his hand and lacing his fingers through hers. It had only been a couple days but she had truly missed him. Even this little bit of contact, was everything to her. Mercedes looked over at Sam, a light shadow of a beard on his face. They must not have shaved him since Friday. An agency nurse had been with him the whole weekend, Donata, she had filled in before. Mercedes hadn't been worried about his needs being met, but she hated that no one seemed to care about all the little things. Sam liked to be clean shaven, she had rarely seen him with more than a light stubble, he would hate having this much hair on his face.

"Maybe he didn't want you to have to live with him on machines. Like this. You whole life has been on hold for nine months."

"I'm not on hold. I'm hoping. I'm taking care of him, his child, keeping his life ready for him, when he comes back to us."

"But Julian said –"

"My father is not God," she interrupted. "He doesn't know for sure what is going to happen any more than the rest of us. I have faith in Sam. I know he can beat this. We just have to keep believing in him."

"Burt has to uphold Sam's wishes," said Will quietly turning his back to her to resume staring out of the window.

"Then Burt is in for the fight of his life, because I can't lose Sam."

Mercedes leaned up and kissed Sam's forehead, stroking his face gently as she pulled back to look at him. His vacant eyes staring into nothing, but still such a pretty blue, she longed to see his eyes sparkle with life again. She had to find a way to make it happen. All they needed was time, miracles happened every day. They just had to wait for theirs. She wasn't going to let anyone quit on Sam before he got his miracle.

* * *

><p>She couldn't find it. She had removed everything from her dresser. Pushed it away from the wall, peered behind it, a barrette and dust bunnies. Under the bed, her pink sock and her UGGs, no picture. She had just been looking at it the other day. Quinn loved that picture of Sam from prom, he looked so handsome and it had been a great night. She had left behind so much when she was brought to the hospital. She arrived with only the clothes on her back, and her purse, which had been dumped by the staff, all the contraband removed, which was pretty much everything except her chapstick and her wallet. Inside her little black leather wallet was exactly $11.77 and two pictures, one of Beth when she was about one month old, and the picture of Sam from prom. The pictures she had accumulated on her dresser were all shuttled in piecemeal by her visitors, thinking she needed the company of familiar faces on display. Quinn welcomed the photos, she liked having some of the happy moments of her life at her fingertips. But no one had brought her a picture of Sam. Not that she was too surprised, he was the elephant in the room, so connected to her but shouldn't be. Only Mercedes had the right to love him openly. She had to find that picture. It was starting to feel like her last connection to him.<p>

In a matter of days Quinn's whole life had changed. Everything suddenly had become more real, the stakes higher, no longer could she rely on the comforting notion that Sam would miraculously rise up and save her. It was almost like a subconscious free pass, a crutch she used to excuse her bad choices. It didn't matter if she went a little crazy, Sam would save her. Jail time? No worries, Sam would help her out of that jam. When her baby had become too much for her to handle and looking into her little face had become a painful reminder of all she had lost with Puck, she never worried for Beth. Quinn knew that Sam would come through for her. Even in his coma, Quinn still had faith in Sam. In a weird way Sam had actually come to Beth's rescue. Sam had brought Mercedes into their lives and she took her baby in and gave her love and a stable home.

But everything was different now. The living will had changed it all. If Sam were to die, Quinn could no longer assume that Mercedes would be around for Beth. Maybe she would want to cut all ties, or the court could take Beth away from her. Mercedes was young, had no experience as a mother. The courts might think Beth would be better off in a two parent household. Quinn knew her parents would take Beth if she asked. But would they raise her in Lima, around Sam's family, people she was already starting to bond with? Or would they whisk her off to their life they had created in New York City. So many unanswered questions and Quinn needed to be the one to step up and find some solutions.

Plopping down on the bed, Quinn blew the wisps of hair out of her face in frustration. It had been a waste of time searching for one old photo. She needed to be making to do lists or coming up with arrangements for her daughter. If only she knew where to start. The picture was going to provide her with inspiration, get her mind flowing in the right direction, or so she had hoped. From time to time throughout her life she could feel Sam with her in spirit, his unique brand of wisdom echoing in her ears when she needed a little boost. He was decidedly silent now, increasingly so in the last few months, as if he had been somehow weaning her off him, pulling away from her, until he could just let go.

* * *

><p><em>"I feel like we're having phone sex," said Sam randomly in her ear.<em>

_"What? We're talking about Mexican food."_

_"I just mean on the phone, in the dark, talking to a woman with a seductive voice, it feels sort of seedy."_

_"At least you didn't ask me what I'm wearing."_

_"What are you wearing? Something sexy? Is it see through?" he asked in an amused tone._

_"Sam." She was getting annoyed. He was being such a boy._

_"Come on," he pleaded. "You tell me yours, I'll tell you mine."_

_"I know what you're wearing. Your suit from work, no jacket, no tie, top two buttons of your shirt undone. Am I right?"_

_"Couldn't be more wrong."_

_"Sam, it's what you wear every day. I'm not wrong."_

_"Why don't you come see for yourself?"_

_"It's raining. I'm not going out on the balcony."_

_"I meant come to my room."_

_"I don't think that's such a good idea."_

_"Promise I won't bite," he teased._

_Quinn sighed heavily. "I think I'd be shitty company right now."_

_"You've been keeping me company for the past two hours."_

_"Over the phone,"_

_"What is it? Do you have on one of those mud masks or something?"_

_"No it's not that." She hesitated, biting her lower lip as she searched her mind for an excuse._

_"Are you wearing a satin teddy and you don't want to tantalize me with your gorgeousness? What color is it?"_

_"I'm not describing what I'm wearing over the phone."_

_"You're no fun. I'm hanging up."_

_"Fine."_

_A few moments later there was a tap at her sliding door. Quinn peeked out the side of the curtain to see what it was. Sam stood on her balcony in the misting rain, in dark jeans, a green polo, no shoes._

_"What are you doing out there?" she asked through the door._

_"I climbed over."_

_"Are you crazy?"_

_"Are you gonna let me in or what?" Quinn unlatched the door and pulled it open, stepping aside so Sam could enter her room. He eyed her up and down with an amused smirk._

_"Not what I imagined at all." Quinn looked down at herself. She was wearing her white sweats with the word PINK printed in green down the leg, and a teal cami, her hair was piled on top of her head in a loose bun._

_"Women don't usually sit around in lingerie," she said climbing back in the bed, pulling her knees to her chest. "Not all that comfortable."_

_"So why didn't you want to see me tonight? In the flesh that is. You seemed to have no trouble talking my ear off." Sam stretched out at the foot of the bed, lounging on his side, his arm propping up his head._

_Quinn smiled, kicking her bare feet in his direction. "Hey, you called me!"_

_"To ask if you wanted to grab dinner."_

_"I said no."_

_"You said no. Two hours later somehow I was still on the phone, and still hadn't eaten."_

_"Bad things happen when we're alone together. The balcony is safe, but a hotel room…" She turned her head toward the sliding doors as her words faded on her lips._

_"I'm not going to sleep with you Quinn," he said cutting her off. "I'm not going to do that to Mercedes, or to you. I've done enough damage."_

_"I wasn't worried about you. It's me." She looked at him, tucking a few stray hairs behind her ear. "I tend to do impulsive stuff when I'm depressed."_

_"I am pretty irresistible, but even if you threw me on the bed and straddled me, I wouldn't let anything happen." He grinned. "Besides there is nothing to fear. We're friends. We're adults. We can control ourselves. We've been alone together plenty of times."_

_"But now we are alone together and single."_

_"Not me." He held up his hand and flashed his platinum wedding band. "Still very married."_

_"I don't think I'll ever get used to that."_

_"Me being married? You were at the wedding."_

_"I know but I kind of always think of you as perpetually available."_

_"I was married to Brittany too."_

_"That doesn't count. I wasn't around during that."_

_"Oh so only things you see are real?" he asked the amusement evident in his voice._

_"Exactly. It's my mind. I say what goes."_

_"I should visit Quinn-land sounds like a magical place." He smiled widely, green eyes dancing in the low light of the room. "Are the rivers filled with chocolate milk and the flowers made of sugar?"_

_"Don't be silly. We do have unicorns though." She stretched out her legs in front of her, flexing and pointing her toes._

_Sam tickled the bottom of her foot, laughing as Quinn quickly pulled them out of his reach. "You've seen a unicorn?"_

_"Of course. Haven't you?"_

_"Were you smoking in here? Is that why you didn't want me to come over? You didn't want to share?_

_"You know I'd never hold out on you."_

_"I'm still hungry," he declared getting off the bed and walking toward the desk. "Room service?"_

_He searched the area for a menu, pausing when he spotted a copy of the Lima Gazette. Quinn cringed from her seat on the bed when she saw he had discovered it._

_"Sam don't…"_

_"What's this?" he asked picking up the folded over newspaper. "The Jones family out on the town," he read._

_"Apparently the Jones family is into double dating. Don't they look like the perfect pairs?"_

_"I don't think Julian is dating anyone. They are both doctors, so naturally they'd attend a hospital event."_

_"I wasn't talking about Julian. Look at Puck, draped all over that girl. Since when is he a Jones anyway? He's an Evans."_

_He walked back over to Quinn and climbed into the bed next to her, sitting up, his back against the wooden headboard._

_"I think Puck feels more like a Jones. He's lived with Julian a long time. And for the record, I don't think that girl means anything. I mean look at her, she has red hair. You and I both know Puck likes blondes."_

_"And Mercedes with Shane?"_

_"Same thing as Julian. Mercedes works at the hospital, Shane works at the hospital, so they ended up at the fundraiser together. Besides her smile is fake here," he said pointing at the photo in the paper. "She's not really having a good time."_

_"That smile looks pretty real to me," Quinn added skeptically._

_"When Mercedes smiles her eyes get all sparkly and bright, and all her teeth show. See here," he tapped the photo. "Her eyes are dull and only a few teeth. She's faking it."_

_"Wow." She looked over at him in amazement, feeling as if she had never seen him before. "You really love her."_

_"All the sulking about losing her didn't give you a clue?"_

_"I just mean it's all deep and real."_

_Sam looked down at his lap, a slight smile appearing on his face. "Loving Mercedes has been the most real thing in my life, feels natural like breathing. Once I let her in, she filled my heart so easily and completely. I don't think I could stop loving her if I tried. She's a part of me now. Totally sappy right?"_

_"Not at all. I think it's sweet." She patted his shoulder reassuringly. "I am really seeing how strongly you feel about her, I guess for the first time."_

_"I suppose I shouldn't be surprised you doubted us. Everyone did. I think it's because we got married so fast."_

_"Puck and I were together longer than you two, yet you made it down the aisle first."_

_He cocked his head to the side, pausing a moment in thought before he spoke. "Not everyone is as comfortable with commitment as I am. I feel like if you truly love someone you should be willing to put your heart on the line. Most guys aren't like that. But I don't think that means they love any less. Puck loves you."_

_"He's not wasting any time moving on. Losing me didn't seem to make one small dent in his social life," Quinn said dejectedly, hugging her knees to her chest, trying to blink back the tears that were threatening to fall._

_"All show. Deep down I'm sure he's hurting."_

_"Way down."_

_"Quinn have you been sitting here thinking about this all night?"_

_She covered her face with her hands in embarrassment, feeling pathetic that she let one picture get her so upset. "Yes. I didn't want you to see the paper and I knew I wouldn't be able to lie to your face."_

_He ran his hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face. "I can handle a little picture of Mercedes and Shane. It's not like I don't know he wants my wife."_

_"Now he has a shot." She looked over at him sadly._

_"See here in the picture? She still has her rings on. Shane hasn't got her yet," he said tossing the paper across the room._

_"Nothing holding Puck back. No ties to me, no commitments, my name wasn't even on the lease."_

_Putting his arm around her shoulder, Sam pulled Quinn to his side, hugging her close. "It's in his heart. He's tied there."_

_"Mercedes is such an idiot. How could she ever walk away from you?"_

_"I hurt her and broke her trust."_

_"You're such a special man," she said leaning her head on his shoulder. "I wonder if she realizes what she's losing. I'll never understand giving you up." Quinn could feel his cheek resting on the top of her head._

_"You did. A few times," he said quietly._

_"It was twice." Quinn sat up and looked at him filled with the sudden need to set things straight. "First time might have been the hardest thing I ever had to do."_

_"Well you didn't have to do it. Could've kicked Puck to the curb."_

_"Maybe I should've."_

_Their eyes locked and just for a moment Quinn felt something heady in the air, a force pulling her in, leading her closer to him. The green of his eyes darkening as he searched her face, flitting from her eyes to her lips then back to her eyes again. Feeling uneasy about the unexpected shift between them she looked away._

_"I can't take anymore," Sam announced, getting up further breaking the spell. "I must eat. Sure you aren't hungry?"_

_"I can't eat when I feel like this."_

_He sat down at the desk across the room and flipped open the room service menu. "I'll just get a burger."_

_"No surprise there."_

_"Can't beat a thick, juicy burger," he said picking up the phone._

_"Make sure it's well done."_

_He nodded as he waited for a response on the other end of the line. "Okay."_

_"And extra pickles."_

_"Uh…"_

_"And don't forget fries," added Quinn._

_Sam frowned placing his finger on the button to disconnect the call._

_"Anything else I should add on MY burger?"_

_"Sorry. Just want it to taste good."_

_"Since it's MY burger, why does it matter if it tastes good to you?"_

_"I might want a bite."_

_"Oh no. This is just like high school. We'd go out, you'd say you weren't hungry and then proceed to eat half my dinner. I'm a big guy. I need all of my food, so I'll get you a burger too." He shook his head smiling as he picked up the phone once again._

_"Okay. Just in case."_

_After ordering the food, Sam wandered over to the glass doors, opening the curtains wider, the glow of the moon illuminating the night sky. "Looks like the rain stopped. Should we risk the balcony?"_

_Quinn shook her head, snuggling down into the pillows, tucking her feet under the blanket that topped the bed. "I think we're good here. Just this once."_

_He smiled as he settled next to her in the bed, grabbing the remote, switching on the TV._

_They had spent that night together like some sad version of a slumber party. They had watched Letterman, then a bad sci-fi movie, he had thrown fries at her, and she had beaten him at hearts, twice. She had knocked over a lamp doing a cartwheel in the middle of the room on a dare and she had laughed so hard that she spit soda all over the floor when he started telling dirty limericks he learned while in the service. He never mentioned Mercedes and she never thought about Puck. They had managed to forget, for a time._

_The next morning Quinn had awakened wrapped in his arms, head on his chest, on the bed, no blanket. He was smiling in his sleep. She'd always remember that. Even in the wake of such pain, Sam still was happy in his dreams. She had the overwhelming urge to kiss him that morning, so she did, lightly on his cheek, careful not to disturb him. Their last kiss._

* * *

><p>Quinn looked out her window in her hospital room at the golden sky fading behind the skyline, the sun soon to be replaced by the moon. Dusk would never be the same for Quinn, every sunset now reminded her of him and their time at the Beacon. Those nights at the hotel would stay with her forever, memories that were solely theirs to treasure. Quinn carried it all for the both of them in the hope that one day they'd be able to look back and reminisce. But if that day never came, Quinn would still remember, she'd find a balcony somewhere and toast the setting sun in his honor. He'd always be with her, looking out into the horizon, a smile on his face.<p> 


	35. Chapter 35

**Thanks for reading and commenting. And thanks so much to MissE for your too kind review...brought a smile to my face.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 35<strong>

Quinn paced around the waiting room of the psychiatric ward of the Lima University Hospital, dressed in her standard uniform, black yoga pants and her deep plum cropped hooded jersey jacket. Very conscious of the passing time, Quinn constantly took periodic glances at the large clock on the wall, the yellow walls seeming to close in with each pass down the span of the room. It had been almost four hours since her attorney Artie Abrams had left to meet with the judge on her behalf. Quinn realized that the meeting had been called at the last minute, apparently at the urging of Artie, but for it to take this long could only mean one thing. Bad news.

Hope was something Quinn had used sparingly throughout her life. She kept a small sprinkle of it locked away for safe keeping, but generally she liked to deal in concrete certainties, she had no other choice really, life had always thrown her curves, loops, and sometimes steep drops, never letting her fully enjoy an existence of comparative peace. Take getting pregnant, a miraculous occurrence for most, but for Quinn it had been stressful beyond measure. Not knowing the identity of her baby's father aside, she also had to deal with giving birth prematurely on the side of the road with a fresh out of school nurse, followed by a severely ill newborn, and capped off with her sanity being stolen by some sort of hormonal imbalance.

She wasn't complaining, not really, Beth was healthy and safe, that was all she could want for her. However, Quinn couldn't help regret that her health and safety were being provided by someone other than herself. She had been over it in her head time and time again, trying to reconcile herself to the fact that Mercedes had custody and was doing a good job. And sometimes Quinn was okay with that knowledge. Yet there were other times, increasing in frequency in the last few weeks, where the fact that Mercedes was essentially raising her baby, left her completely unsettled. Artie just had to come through.

Beth would be five months old soon, her little personality would be quickly forming, her world expanding as her mobility increased. Soon she wouldn't even recognize her, if even still did now. Quinn had read in numerous child development books that the first year of a baby's life were the most critical for bonding. Babies learned and memorized faces and voices more than ever during this time. If she didn't get out of the hospital soon, Beth wouldn't know her face, her voice, she would only know Mercedes. She would effectively be replaced in her own daughter's heart by Mercedes, just as Mercedes had replaced her in Sam's heart.

Whoa! Where did that thought come from? Quinn physically shook her head trying to clear her mind. The thought however persisted. She had tried to ignore it. She had bigger things to deal with than petty jealousy brought on by harsh words in the heat of an argument. Yet here she was, thinking about it again. He had said he'd never speak to her again. If what Mercedes had said were true, and at this point Quinn really could not trust anything from that bitch's mouth, but if Quinn were to believe it then that would mean Sam had actually put Mercedes above their friendship. Granted Sam was a married man and of course he would be devoted to preserving that relationship first and foremost, but to actually throw away over a decade of friendship for a woman that he had known for only a few years and had been married to for just a few months, it stung, painfully.

She guessed their stay at the Beacon had meant less to Sam than she thought. Their time at the hotel had solidified their bond, brought them closer than they had ever been. Quinn thought she and Sam had finally gotten past all the hurts and were back to being themselves – Quinn and Sam together forever. Her partner in crime, her constant champion, her best friend, he had said they would always have each other no matter what. Quinn guessed always was a limited time offer, just something he said until he could win back his precious Mercedes.

Quinn didn't want to be mean. She had come to realize just how deeply Sam cared for Mercedes. It had taken some getting used to but Quinn had accepted the fact that Sam thought Mercedes was the one he had always been searching for. She had been a good friend and never pointed out that Mercedes was a very young, former scammer, that Sam had caught kissing another man just a month after they had tied the knot. Quinn also had never mentioned that marrying Sam could have been Mercedes's greatest scam of all. Not that Quinn fully believed Mercedes was scamming Sam, she was Julian's daughter and had survived a terrible childhood, so she had tried to cut her some slack for her bad choices. But every time Quinn had witnessed Sam a little more broken after each encounter with Mercedes, that slack became increasingly more difficult to give. Sam deserved better.

Apparently Sam hadn't agreed, since he so easily threw Quinn under the bus to get his wife back. Quinn bet Mercedes hadn't even cared that Sam had offered that. Mercedes probably didn't even comprehend all that she and Sam had shared. It didn't matter now, Sam wasn't able to tell what really happened, and Quinn needed to focus on getting back to Beth. Sam might have been willing to give up everything for Mercedes, but Quinn sure wasn't. If she couldn't get out of the mental hospital, then she would at least make sure Beth was found a new home, away from Mercedes. Beth deserved better.

Artie rushed through the double doors leading into the ward, his navy wool coat open revealing his charcoal gray suit. The chill from the outside surrounded him, bringing the refreshing scent of winter into the stuffy medicinal air of the hospital.

Quinn ran toward him expectantly. "Finally! I thought you'd never get back."

"Meeting with the judge took longer than I anticipated." He was slightly out of breath as he spoke.

"Oh no." Quinn's face fell. "When do I leave for the state hospital? Did he say how long I had to stay there?"

"Relax. Sit down. Deep breaths." He led her to one of the plastic chairs in the room. "Let me start from the beginning." Artie sat down beside her and placed his coat on the table.

"I can't take a drawn out recount. Just give it to me straight. I can handle it." She tucked her dark hair behind her ears, took a few breaths and then turned to face him.

"My plan worked."

"It worked?" she asked.

"Yep. I told the judge you had an allergic reaction to your medicine and that's what caused your outbursts in the courtroom," he said smiling.

"He bought that? Just took your word?" Quinn asked in disbelief.

"I had an affidavit from the hospital backing me up."

"How did you manage that one? I didn't have any reaction." She made quotes in the air with her fingers. "Until after court."

"You and I both know that reaction was an overdose, apparently so does the hospital, because when I approached them about all of this they immediately agreed that your dosage that morning must have set you off."

"And DA Brennan didn't have anything to say?" Could this actually be happening? Quinn felt her little stash of hope tingling.

"He tried to contest it. Actually it was Judge Leery that told him to stop. The judge thinks you had a reaction and prior to that you were a young mother willing to do whatever anything to do right by your child."

"He said that?" Her eyes widened in disbelief.

"He said your stay in the psych ward had helped you tremendously. In fact, he said he thought your mental state was much improved."

"I can't believe you actually pulled this off. It seemed like such a long shot to me."

"You have to be creative when it comes to interpreting the law, even a little underhanded at times."

"Shocking," she stated sarcastically. "I thought lawyers upheld the highest level of integrity."

"I think that's true, at least with me. I never do anything that I don't believe in. But I do know that sometimes you have to get a little dirty to do good in this world."

"Deep. Where'd you get that?"

"My dad. He's a spy." He winked at her, flashing his dimples as he broke into a grin.

Quinn narrowed her eyes at him, not sure whether he was being serious or not. She decided to let it pass for the time being. The excitement that was building in her chest was too great to ignore any longer.

"Oh my goodness Artie." Quinn jumped up excitedly. "Does this mean what I think it does?"

Artie stood up, smiling widely, his arms moving emphatically as he spoke. "It means start packing your bags girl, you're headed home. The papers are being drawn up as we speak. So I would say in a few hours you'll be a free woman."

"I can't believe it. Thank you so much." She pulled him into a tight hug. Quinn couldn't stop smiling, finally things were going her way.

"My pleasure. Truly." He held her away from him, his hands resting gently on her forearms, his eyes shifting to an electric shade of blue as he smiled warmly at her.

"Maybe by tonight I can see Beth." She clasped her hands together as she imagined being with her baby girl again. She couldn't wait to hold her, to inhale her sweet baby scent, to kiss her soft blond hair, her beautiful Beth, she missed her so much. "Tuck her in, maybe sing her a lullaby."

"Not so fast Quinn. That can't happen."

She scanned his face for answers. "But you said in a few hours I will be free."

"Yes you will be released, but you can't see Beth. Child Protective Services took her from you."

"But the judge…"

"Two different things. Judge Leery was determining your fate in your criminal case. Dealing with CPS is a whole different animal." Halfway was better than nothing she supposed. At least she would be one step closer to her goal.

"Guess that means I won't be moving back with Beiste."

"You can't live in the same household as Beth right now."

Quinn slumped back down into her chair. "I have no clue where I'm gonna go. Santana has been staying in a one bedroom. I doubt she has space for a roommate."

"You'll think of something," he said returning to his seat as well. "Maybe call your parents."

"No I can't," she said quickly. "Not yet. I need Beth back first."

"That could take awhile Quinn. I don't want to discourage you but there are many steps to go through with CPS. You might want to let your parents help you with all of this."

He shifted closer to her, placing his hand on her arm as if he were holding her steady, weighing her down so she wouldn't bolt. It wasn't like Quinn had anywhere to run. This was her life, the result of the carnage she created. All that was left now was to face it.

"Haven't you ever just wanted to do something on your own, stand on your own two feet and prove to the world that you're strong and capable?"

Artie leaned on the table, head in his hand and looked at her. "That's the reason I moved to Chicago. I wanted to build a life, my own future."

"That's what I need to do now. For my daughter. I've never really stood alone before." Quinn looked down embarrassed to admit that at 27 she was barely a functioning adult. "I need to prove to everyone, that I'm more than some arm candy or a trophy girlfriend. I need to prove it to myself."

"I have absolute faith you'll do it," he said taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. He released it quickly but never looked away. Quinn could feel the honesty behind his words.

"Glad you do, I'm feeling a little shaky myself." He had a way of looking right through her, at first it had made her feel uncomfortable, as if he were seeing all the parts she wanted to hide, but now it felt different. When Artie looked at her, the way he was now, gently with an easy smile, it made her feel like she was someone he admired, someone worth knowing. It was encouraging.

"You shouldn't be. First time I laid eyes on you I knew you were strong. You have a fire behind your eyes that seems like you're afraid to let out. But when you finally do, Quinn Fabray will be a force to reckon with."

Quinn felt her cheeks redden at his words, a warmth spreading throughout her body. It felt nice to have someone so firmly in her corner.

"You really think so?"

"I do." He nodded. "I don't say things I don't mean."

"Wow. I don't think Puck's paying you enough."

Artie looked confused. "Puck?"

"You are going above and beyond as my lawyer. I know you never signed on to be giving pep talks."

"Pep talks are free. I'm currently running a special."

"So you have a coupon for crazy, out of work pop singers, that have lost custody of their kids?" she asked chuckling slightly.

"It was in the Sunday paper," he teased.

"I'm glad you two are amused. My son is fighting for his life and my granddaughter has a complete wack job for a mother, but by all means keep laughing it up."

Dwight had appeared out of nowhere, his massive presence and the scent of his cologne filling the room. Spicy and classic, yet powerful, sort of like the man himself.

"What are you doing here Dwight?" asked Quinn swallowing the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat.

"Here to pay you a little visit."

"My client is not up for visitors. She's in consult with me," said Artie through clenched teeth.

"How much do you charge for making doe eyes and staring at her cleavage? Do you bill hourly?"

"Now you're out of line!" Artie stood up squaring off against the larger man.

Dwight eyed Artie, a slightly amused expression playing over his features. "And you're in over your head. I heard about your little conversation with Judge Leery today."

"So you know Quinn will be released," Artie stated confidently.

"Somehow you managed to con a judge and a DA into letting this slut run free. I'm going to hand it to you, you got balls. We could use someone like you in D&E's legal department." Dwight almost sounded impressed.

"I would rather chase ambulances," said Artie in obvious disgust.

"That definitely can be arranged especially after you lose your first high profile case." Dwight seemed to be enjoying himself. Quinn felt a rumble build in the pit of her stomach.

"I didn't lose. Leery is letting Quinn out."

"You might want to check your messages. Things have changed."

Artie walked a few feet away and pulled out his phone. Quinn watched his face harden as he scrolled through his messages.

"What are you up to Dwight?" asked Quinn.

"I just had my own chat with the judge, filled him in on a few facts. Like how while you were wandering the streets, you wandered into my granddaughter's bedroom."

"Who told you that?" asked Artie from where he stood, still checking his phone. "Was it Dr. Jones? Because he can hardly be expected to be unbiased."

"I don't need Julian to tell me anything. You think I don't know what goes on in the house where my granddaughter and my daughter in-law live?"

"Coach B told you?" Quinn asked sadly, realization crashing over her.

"Shannon was duped into feeling sorry for you for some reason. Never said a word."

"So how did you find out?" asked Quinn.

Not that it particularly mattered. The source was irrelevant, Dwight had won. How could Quinn have thought it would have gone any differently than this? Sam's family had never hid how much they hated her. It should've come as no surprise that Dwight would try to keep her away from Beth indefinitely. Still Quinn felt stunned. The hope from just minutes before deflating inside her like a balloon days after a party, a pathetic reminder of the good times that once were, and for a few minutes it had been so good. Artie had saved her life, and now Dwight was ending it.

Dwight leaned against one of the chairs, a smug look on his face. "I have security on everyone that matters, my son, my granddaughter, Mercedes. I know about every threat that comes their way."

"Someone saw me." She was an idiot. How could she have not have anticipated this? Oh right, she was making plans while drugged out of her mind. And to think she had graduated high school with honors. McKinley High should reclaim their diploma, she clearly didn't deserve it. She made dumb move after dumb move.

"I saw you throw yourself at my son and tell him you were going to kidnap his baby. Saw you break into Shannon's house, go up and get Beth. Saw all the people you've snowed into taking your side, trying to save your pathetic ass. I can't believe you actually thought I would let you get my grandchild out of that house."

"Dwight I wasn't in my right mind. But I'm better now. I would never take Beth." She pleaded with him to understand, to maybe find it in his heart to take pity. It was futile, but Quinn had to try.

"You'll never get the chance," snarled Dwight.

Right on cue, two police officers entered the room, a blond woman and a graying man. "We have a warrant for the arrest of Quinn Fabray. We're here to remand her to Lima City lock up."

Quinn instinctively backed away from the officers, colliding with Artie's hard chest. She felt his hands on her sides, holding her in place. This was it.

"On what grounds?" asked Artie. "My client is a patient."

"She has proven herself a flight risk and violated the terms of her sentence," responded the female officer as she approached Quinn, handcuffs shining in her hands. "She'll stay the night in jail and will be moved to the state hospital in the morning."

"I'll get to the bottom of this Quinn," said Artie, turning her to face him. "I'll meet you at the station. I have to make some calls." Quinn nodded stiffly, barely processing his words.

The moment she had dreaded had finally arrived, and she felt strangely numb. Maybe she had known it all along, deep down, that things would turn out this way. Nothing ever went the way she expected, why should this have been any different?

She looked coldly over at Dwight as the policewoman cuffed her hands behind her back. Quinn didn't resist. What would be the point?

"Sam wouldn't want this. I'm the mother of his daughter," Quinn said sadly.

"Sam is married to a good woman that is more than capable of raising my grandbaby while you rot. My son doesn't need you in his life. He'll be better off if he never sets eyes on you again."

"You don't know your son at all, if you think that."

Dwight smoothed out the wrinkles in his suit, running his hands casually along the fine silk fabric, as if bored with the whole exchange. "Quinn the only thing my son liked about you were your skills in the bedroom, which you seemed to share freely with him. Other than that Sam saw you for the lying slut you are."

"You're wrong Dwight. Sam and I are bonded. We care about each other." Tears stung in Quinn's eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She held her chin up. She would not break in front of Dwight Evans. She wouldn't let him have that satisfaction.

"Where's the proof of that bond?" Dwight scoffed.

"We have Beth."

Dwight laughed condescendingly. "Sam could make twenty babies with twenty different women and that wouldn't make him bonded to any of them. His bond is with his child, not the slut who gave birth to her. Your supposed bond didn't even garner you one of his diamonds. My son used to give out engagement rings like most men give out flowers. He has a drawer full of them. Yet not a one has your name on it. He may be frivolous with his romantic endeavors but he was smart enough to know one thing. Never commit to you."

"Sam cares about me," she said quietly, the words not even convincing to her own ears. Could she really say that with certainty anymore, after what Mercedes had told her?

"Sam cares about Mercedes, his wife. He finally got it right and you almost took that from him. You've wrecked my son for the last time and I'll be damned if I ever let you do the same to my grandchild."

"You hateful old man, how can you be so awful?"

"Enough. Get her out of my sight." And with a wave of his hand, the police ushered Quinn toward the door. The yellow of the walls blurring through her unshed tears.

She will not break, she repeated over and over in her mind. She would stay strong and she would do this for Beth. She had been caged before, she had been caged for most of her life. She knew how to survive the loneliness and isolation of existing on the periphery, forgotten by the world, only her thoughts to keep her company. As long as Beth never had to feel this way, Quinn could endure. Finally she knew it, with a certainty that had been missing since before she had been born. Everything was for Beth. She would do her time and find her way back. She will not break. She could not break. She was a mother.

* * *

><p>Mercedes paced back and forth in front of the door of the law office of HummelScott, checking her phone every few seconds for a message. The fact that her phone lit up and beeped with each new message, and the fact that her phone was currently dark and in screensaver mode, didn't stop Mercedes from still hitting the screen to make sure there weren't any messages. It had been over an hour since she had texted him. Lima was fifty square miles, there was no reason he should be taking this long.

She was just about to send him yet another "where the hell are you?" text when she spotted him. Kurt Hummel, with his cropped chocolate waves and bright smile, jogging around the corner toward her. His royal blue parka, dark jeans, and blue and orange Nikes made him pretty hard to miss, even in the low light of early evening.

"You're late," she frowned.

"I had class," he shrugged, grinning sheepishly at her.

Mercedes rolled her eyes in annoyance. "A class you never go to."

Kurt was a graduating senior, finance major, with eleven credits left. Two gym classes he had put off, one accounting course he had failed and had to retake, and Geology 101, the class he needed to fulfill his science requirement. A class he rarely attended. He was skating by with a solid C, and that was with very little class attendance. So Kurt had surmised that it would actually be tempting fate and the status of his GPA if he started going to the lectures. He figured he would probably end up failing if he actually studied the class notes. It made absolutely no sense to Mercedes, but that was Kurt logic in a nutshell.

"What?" he scoffed. "Of course I go to that class. I attend all of my classes. My education is valuable to me."

Mercedes crossed her arms over her chest. "Kurt, your dad is not in his office. You can cut the crap."

"It's not crap. My parents are paying good money to send me to school and I appreciate their generosity. You can record me saying that and play it back in court," Kurt declared trying to sound earnest. He pointed to toward the camera mounted near the door on the side of the building. "It's nothing but the truth."

"Who checks those cameras?" asked Mercedes lowering her voice.

"They are archived and only checked if a problem arises," said Kurt moving closer.

"Good. So hopefully no one will ever notice we were here."

"Why are we here exactly? All your text said was meet you at my dad's office in stealth gear."

"You call that stealth?" asked Mercedes pointing out his bright blue coat and orange sneakers.

"This is Lima, not New York City. You in your head to toe all black draws more suspicion than me in orange and blue." He snatched the sunglasses from her face. "And you're wearing sunglasses, at night, no one does that here."

He had a point. Mercedes was so focused on implementing her plan that she hadn't considered what worked in Los Angeles may not fly in Lima. Her black trench coat, black pants, and shades may have been a tad too much for their sleepy little town.

"Are you ready?" she asked hoisting her bag higher on her shoulder. "We are going to break into the office and get the original copy of Sam's living will."

"You could have just asked my dad, he would've let you look at it. No need to go all Mission Impossible."

"I am going to destroy it," she stated matter of factly.

Kurt arched his eyebrows in concern. "I'm pretty sure that's illegal."

"As long as that document exists, we are going to have to let Sam die. I can't let that happen."

"Mercedes, I know how upsetting this is for you. I am upset myself, but I don't think this is going to work. There are copies of documents like that, a paper trail, destroying a piece of paper won't change things."

"My lawyer said that if Burt can't produce the original document in court we have more grounds to fight it and ultimately have it thrown out as invalid."

"Your lawyer?" Kurt leaned back against the building, a shocked expression on his face.

"I called him to see if he could help."

"You hired yourself an attorney?"

"He already was my attorney. He drew up the papers for my divorce last year."

"Mercedes, I don't like the sound of this."

"Burt won't help me. Dwight is standing by Sam's wishes, whatever that means. I had to get someone on the outside of the family."

"Fine," Kurt sighed. "What do you need me to do?"

"I figure you know your father's office pretty well. You can point me in the right direction to where that paper might be."

"I've got an idea."

"Good." She pulled a flashlight out of her bag and handed it to him. "Now hold this flashlight over my shoulder I am going to try to open the door." Rummaging in her bag again, she pulled out a small leather case. She put her bag on the ground and opened up the case.

"A lock picking kit? Where did you get one of those?"

"Sam had it in the closet," said Mercedes as she took out the tools to begin to work on the door.

"I don't even want to know what my cousin was up to with that. But you know it is the new millennium. We live in a digital age. Keyed locks are so passé."

"What are you talking about?"

Kurt held up his pass key. "Key card baby."

"Oh my god, Kurt that is awesome. You are the best."

"I assumed that is why you called me. Let's hurry and get inside before people start wondering why we are loitering outside the door."

It was a typical office, a waiting area with plush burgundy leather couches, beige walls, a tree that looked plastic, wood panel details. A reception desk stood in the center of the room blocking access to a corridor of closed doors.

"The lights are still on," noted Mercedes.

"Yeah the cleaning crew turns everything off when they are done." Kurt grabbed her hand and led her past the reception desk and down the hall.

"What time do they usually come through?"

"I'm not sure maybe eight o'clock. My dad usually works until then. I wonder why he is gone so early tonight."

"Sue took him out to dinner."

"She's in on this too?"

"She is like the only one on my side."

After that meeting at the mansion, everyone was stunned about the will, sadly rumbling about Sam's right to die with dignity and his wishes. Sue had pulled her to the side and asked her what they were going to do about the will. In hushed whispers in the corner of the Evans living room, she and Sue had set things in motion.

"Not true. You've got me."

Mercedes hugged him briefly around the waist. "So where should we start?"

"File room, down this next hall."

"So where's your dad's legal partner, Scott?"

"Went to find himself, scaling Everest or something. So he says."

"You don't think he can do it?"

"Adam Scott is more likely holed up in a high roller suite in Vegas, sinning with some showgirl. He's not the type to find mountainous peaks a means to spiritual awakening unless those peaks are attached to an attractive woman."

"Charming. So your dad's working alone?"

"He brought on another attorney, part time I think. But pretty much he's flying solo.

They turned the corner and entered another hallway filled with closed wooden doors. They walked three doors down and stopped. "Here it is."

Mercedes turned the door handle. "It's locked. Will your magic card open this door too?"

"Afraid not. Time to bust out that lock picking kit. Do you know how to use it?"

"You're dealing with a pro here." Mercedes pulled out the kit, sank down to her knees and began working on the door. A few minutes later the lock clicked and the door opened.

"Impressive."

"One of the many life skills I learned from my mother. She was a real role model," said Mercedes as she stood up, dropping the lock picking tool into her bag by her feet.

"Well if you ever have to live by your wits on the streets, you'd survive."

"Which could be soon if we don't destroy this document."

"My dad told me Sam left you everything. You won't be moving into any cardboard boxes soon."

"I don't want his money," she said softly.

"I would take that statement more seriously if you weren't wearing $500 Jimmy Choo flats to break and enter."

"You know it isn't about the money for me Kurt, my love of shopping aside. I just want him back."

A few years ago if someone had told her she would be married to one of the richest men in America, she would have told them to stay off the drugs. She had been raised to find that perfect mark, the richer the better, and take all she could. Keisha Jones would be so proud if she knew she had landed an Evans. The funny thing was that the money didn't mean anything to her. Right around the time she had met Sam, Mercedes had met a rich old man, about 70, and he adored her. She could have been set for life and then some. It was all in the palm of her hand, finally. And she was miserable.

All she had wanted was for Sam to like her and want her, he could have had all the money that dirty old man promised, she would have given it all up, just to be with him. It was such a pathetic thought when she looked back on it, to be willing to give up her financial future for the love of a man that barely gave her the time of day. But Mercedes had always felt there was something more with Sam, somehow she knew he was her future. Mercedes had been willing to bet it all on Sam. She still was.

"I know," he laughed lightly. "I was just teasing. No gold digger would go through all of this."

Rows of black cabinets filled the room, all about 4 feet tall, like a forest of towering metal.

"There are so many cabinets," said Mercedes looking around the room.

"They are in alphabetical order though, so let's just go straight to E. I am going to watch the door." Kurt wedged one foot in the door to keep it slightly open.

Mercedes located the 'E' section of cabinets and searched for Evans.

"Okay…East, Ernst, Evans. Here it is. Damn this is a big file."

"It might be for more than just Sam. My dad handles a number of things for the family."

"You're right. It is mixed," she said opening the drawer wide and flipping through the papers. "Ok I think I found Sam's section."

"Find anything yet?" asked Kurt from his post at the door.

"I'm not sure what I am looking for. There's a lot of stuff in here." Bank statements, legal documents, certificates, it all looked like gibberish to Mercedes.

"Let's switch. You watch the door, I will look in the files. I have been helping my dad out at work since I was 10. I pretty much understand all the legal stuff."

She walked over to Kurt and took his place at the door, careful not to let the door close all the way. She watched intently as Kurt began going through the files.

"Holy shit!" exclaimed Kurt.

"What?" Mercedes stretched as far as she could, attempting to see what had Kurt's attention.

"Sam dropped 10 grand at Tiffany's. Your jewelry stash must be out of control."

"Probably was my wedding ring," Mercedes said nonchalantly. She thought he had found something about the will.

"Your ring is clearly custom and cost more than ten thousand dollars."

"What's the date on the receipt?" she asked her curiosity piqued a bit. What had Sam bought her that cost that much?

"This past March," read Kurt.

"I don't remember getting any new jewelry then. Does it say what he bought?"

"Nope. Just some sort of code and the price. Clever way to stop your wife from snooping out her gifts early."

"Or a clever way to hide purchases made for your mistress behind your wife's back."

"Good point."

A sickening thought slinked into her mind. "Maybe he bought something for Quinn."

"For that much money? Doubtful. It was a one night bang not a full out affair."

"I'm not so sure about that."

"What are you talking about?" asked Kurt as he continued to search the files.

"Quinn told me that she and Sam stayed together, like long term, at the Beacon hotel after I kicked him out."

"And you believed her?"

"Sam did have a suite there." That he never mentioned until the night of the accident.

"Quinn is legit crazy. You can't believe a word out of her mouth."

"What if she's telling the truth though? She and Sam could've been having a secret love affair the whole time." The doubts she had managed to quell when she visited Sam earlier were racing back full strength.

"I don't buy it. Sam wouldn't do that."

"You weren't even in Lima at the time Kurt. How do you know?"

"Sam is the poster child for monogamy. Everyone knows that."

"All the headlines call him "billionaire playboy". That title just screams faithful," said Mercedes sarcastically.

"The family knows the real deal. Uncle Dwight constantly mocked him about it. Had all sorts of clever names for Sam's penchant for falling in love."

"See he falls in and out of love." Mercedes slumped against the door. "He fell out of love with me and back in love with Quinn."

"Do you actually believe what you're saying right now?"

"I've been thinking about this all weekend, making myself sick trying to figure it out."

"Let's find some evidence."

"We're supposed to be looking for the will."

"We still are. But I really need to prove to you that my cousin is not some cheating scuzz bucket."

"He cheated on me remember?"

"That didn't count," said Kurt dismissively.

"Excuse you? I think I beg to differ. He made a baby, and destroyed Puck's life. I think that counts for a lot."

"I just mean that there were extenuating circumstances. He didn't just get bored of you and move on to a new woman. It was sex as pain management."

"Why couldn't he have turned to drugs like Puck?"

"We all have our vices," said Kurt coming from behind the cabinet to face her. "I tend to blow up my credit card when I'm depressed."

"I've noticed. Legendary shopping spree after you and Blaine called it quits." Mercedes would never forget it. September in Chicago, they probably bought something from every store on the Miracle Mile.

"Indeed. And you…" He hesitated.

"And me what?"

"Nothing. Let's drop it. Gotta find that will." He turned his attention back to the file cabinet, quietly resuming his search. An awkward silence filled the room.

"No, finish your thought."

"I was just going to say that you hurt yourself when you're depressed."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Cede, when's the last time you've eaten?" he asked gently.

"Why are you changing the subject?" Mercedes was irritated. He was so focused on her diet and they were greater issues at hand.

"I'm not."

"Kurt can we not go there please?"

"Do you know how many times I have wanted to grab you by the hair and force feed you a donut?"

They had danced around the subject before. Kurt would question her eating habits, and then hound her until he watched her eat a full meal. It almost made her not want to spend as much time with him. It was annoying to force down food she didn't want just to shut him up. She ate, of course she did, but her appetite was less right now and sometimes she got sick, but it wasn't like she deliberately wasn't eating. She was managing everything in her life just fine, Sam's illness, Beth, school. What would make anyone think she couldn't manage her own body? It was ridiculous.

"I eat. I just haven't been feeling well."

"For months."

"Just stressed about Sam. Once he's fine. I'll be fine."

"I'm not sure your body can hold out much longer."

"Kurt…" she pleaded, praying he would just drop it.

"Fine. PSA over. But after this we're stopping at the BreadStix and getting dinner."

"Okay."

"Aha! I found it!" yelled Kurt, holding up a paper over his head.

"Oh my god. You found the will!" Mercedes raced over to Kurt, excitement coursing through her body.

"Nope. I found his Beacon Hotel bill. Okay extended stay, blah, blah, suite, deluxe room."

"He rented two rooms," said Mercedes reading over his shoulder. "So Quinn was telling the truth."

"Separate rooms though."

"Right next door. I'm sure they alternated beds to spice things up." She felt her stomach start to churn, imagining them together.

"Cede, you don't know that. I wouldn't trust anything Quinn says if I were you."

She took the paper from his hand. "It's all there in black and white."

"This proves nothing," he said snatching the paper back and returning it to the file cabinet.

"Before you said finding it would be proof."

"Now that I've found it, I see it's nothing. He paid for a room for Quinn. Big whoop. Sam could be free with a buck when he wanted to be."

"But it was for Quinn." She slid to the floor, her back against the cabinet. "She destroyed our marriage and he still couldn't stay away from her."

"They've been friends a long time, Cede."

"I know. That's what hurts the most. Why couldn't he have done some random stranger or his secretary? He chooses to sleep with his first love and oldest friend. I can't even begin to compete with that," she said hugging her knees to her chest.

"You don't need to compete. You won. He's your husband. You're the one he loves."

"Doesn't mean he can't have feelings for her too."

"He probably does." Kurt sat down next to her, placing a box on the floor between them. "But that doesn't compare to what he feels for you."

"I don't know Kurt," she said turning to face him."They were together in that hotel for weeks."

"Look at this. This is what I know." Kurt pulled out picture after picture of Mercedes from the box. "These must all be from his office. You were everything to him."

"I'm sure if you pop any of those pictures out of their frame, you'll find a picture of Rachel behind it."

"Snap out of it!" he said grabbing her shoulders and shaking her slightly. "Your husband loves you. Case closed."

"Case feels very open to me. I wish he would wake the hell up and explain himself, tell me how he really feels."

"I do too. We could put that crazy Quinn in her place once and for all."

"It's like now I doubt everything. All those things he said the night of the accident about loving me, and giving up Quinn for me, and me not being second choice, it all feels like lies now."

"He married you with no prenup and made you his primary beneficiary in his will. To an Evans that's love times a million. He left you his legacy. That could only mean one thing."

"What's that?"

"He intended to spend the rest of his life with you. So the next time Quinn or anyone else tries to make you believe Sam didn't love you. You think about that."

"Thanks Kurt." She leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Anytime. Oh and I found the advance directive." He handed her the paper.

"And you're just telling me this now?" Mercedes stood up, outraged.

"Hello!" Kurt jumped up. "We were in the middle of a crisis of the heart. Boy drama trumps all this legal nonsense, you know that."

"Sam's life depended on this legal nonsense."

"Sam was going to be fine. You and Sue would've found a way to save him, conned a judge, whisked him off to Europe, blah, blah. But what if you had decided to up and dump his ass? Where would Sam be when he woke up and found you gone?"

"I'm sure he'd have Quinn by his bedside, throwing herself all over him."

"Oh so you are willing to just let her have him? Let the other woman win?"

"If Sam wanted her, what could I do? I wouldn't stand in the way of his happiness."

"As if he could ever be happy with that cheap, washed up – "

"Kurt," she warned. "That's Beth's mother."

"That's all she got going for her. She's Beth's mother. I hope you get it through your head really soon that if Sam wanted Quinn, he would have been with her. He chose you."

"I know you're right. I let Quinn throw me. I need to just forget about it once and for all. I'm the one he loves. That's one of the last things he ever said to me."

"See. So forget about that crazy slut. Let's go save your man."

"It is times like this when I really see that you are an Evans," Mercedes giggled. "You reminded me of Dwight a little bit right then."

"That's so sweet. That might be the best compliment I've ever received." He hugged her tightly, a smile beaming on his face. "Let's get out of here before the cleaning staff comes in." They put the box back into the cabinet and made their way to the door.

"It's locked."

"Take out that kit and get to picking," said Kurt.

"I can't."

"Of course you can. You got us in, now get us out."

"My bag's outside the door. I got so excited when we came in that I must've forgotten to pick it up."

Kurt groaned. "Just great. Now we're stuck."

Mercedes's phone buzzed in her pocket. "Oh got my phone. It's a text from Puck. Quinn got put in jail."

"Really? Like in the slammer? The joint? The big house?" asked Kurt excitedly.

"Yep. Police took her out of the hospital apparently. Looks like she is locked up."

"Yeah, but so are we." They both slid down the door to the floor, looking dejectedly around the windowless room they were now stuck in.


	36. Chapter 36

**Thank you for reading and commenting!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 36<strong>

Quinn pressed her head against the cold metal bars, the only source of comfort she could find in her jail cell. There was a cot in the corner, topped with a stained mattress, no sheet. Quinn couldn't be trusted with a sheet, or a towel, or anything long and strong enough to create a noose. Once you've attempted suicide, you're marked as damaged and deficient. That meant no sink either. She could always fill it and drown herself. The toilet remained, smelly in the opposite corner, mocking her with its black seat and dingy white basin. She prayed she never had to use it, there would be no way she could survive the indignity of doing her business out in the open.

Although it wasn't like she hadn't been here before. After she was recovered enough she was quickly thrown in jail. They had found Beth and she was summarily encaged. She had been out of her mind then, drugs and mental confusion, a toxic combination that made her perform heinous acts of cruelty on her own flesh and blood. It did have one up side however. It had allowed her to be oblivious to how truly awful being in jail actually was. Now that her mind was much clearer, the dire conditions of her latest home were abundantly clear. The state hospital was looking like a more attractive proposition with each passing moment.

Will Schuester appeared on the other side of the bars, in jeans and a dark gray button down. He looked every bit the cop, no badge or uniform needed, Will's look screamed "the law".

"Do you want some water or something?" asked Will as he leaned sideways against the bars, looking down at her.

Quinn barely lifted her head to respond. "Am I really allowed a drink or is this more Evans favoritism at work?"

"You do have basic human rights," he chuckled humorlessly. "Even in jail."

"How about to right to see my daughter?" She looked him dead in the eye, daring him to look away.

She wanted him to see her pain, to know that his family was causing this.

"Quinn you lost that right the night you abandoned her," he said sadly.

She squeezed the bars between her hands, frustrated by the fact that nothing seemed to be able to make her overcome that night. She was sick, but it didn't seem to matter. "You know I wasn't thinking clearly."

"I do and that's why you have to get the help you need."

"I'm actually better now. The judge had planned to let me out until your father wrecked everything." Quinn kicked at the bars with her feet. No laces on UGGs, so she was allowed to keep those.

"You can't lay it all on Dwight this time. You did this to yourself. Going to visit Sam is one thing, but sneaking out of the hospital and going to Beiste's. What the hell were you thinking?"

She had wised up in her days spent in the hospital and behind bars. She wasn't going to answer any questions. The last thing she needed was to make more trouble for herself. "How's Sam?" she asked changing the subject.

"I saw him earlier." Will smiled. "His fever broke and the medicine seems to be working, looks like this crisis has passed."

"Thank God." Quinn said another prayer of thanks in her mind. One down, fifty more prayers to go. There were only two prayers that really mattered, for Beth and Sam to be safe. Anything else was just gravy.

"Mercedes was beside herself worrying about him. I swear one day that girl is just going to drop from all the stress. I don't know how she handles it all."

He ran his hand over his curly hair, and shook his head in clear concern.

Quinn groaned inwardly. "I should've known you were on Team Mercedes too."

Will looked up in surprise. "She's done a lot of good for my brother."

"Except for the little fact that she's the reason he's sick in the first place, but we'll just ignore that. She's an Evans after all."

"I'm surprised at your attitude. She's done a lot of good for you too. Beth's such a happy baby."

Quinn rolled her eyes. It was that time again, time for yet another Mercedes lovefest. She was tired of hearing the world sing that girl's praises.

"Well hopefully Mercedes won't have the added stress of my baby for much longer. I will have to find her a permanent home."

"You're going to take her away from Cede and Beiste? That's the only home she's ever known."

"She will have to adapt to change. We all have to." Quinn paused, looking down at her feet. "I know about Sam's will," she added slowly.

"So you've heard. It's such a hard thing to accept." Will sighed as he leaned forward against the bars, his forehead resting against the metal.

"I can't believe that Sam could leave us soon. I keep praying for a miracle."

"Me too. My little brother has far too much to live for. I can't believe he might miss out on raising Beth."

"Is there nothing we can do?" Tears sprung into Quinn's eyes as she thought about Sam, still stuck in the bed, never able to leave it, ever.

"Most of the family is trying to accept that this is Sam's decision and respect that. Some of us are handling it better than others."

"Let me guess, Mercedes is not taking it well?" Of course, Mercedes wasn't. It was all about her, Sam was the one with his life on the line, but Mercedes would certainly find a way to garner all the sympathy.

"When you love someone so much it's hard to let go. I don't think she's ready to face things."

"I can understand that. I don't want to let him go either and I'm just his friend."

And just like that Quinn felt like crap. She knew Mercedes loved Sam. Quinn had once again let bitterness cloud her view. She didn't want to be the type of person that couldn't be open minded. It just got hard to be so gracious when she was stuck behind bars, being painted as an abusive parent by the media, while Mercedes was out free in the world being praised. It wasn't fair. Mercedes had done just as much bad as Quinn had.

"You're more than that though, aren't you?"

Quinn looked up at Will in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"Children bond you in ways you never imagined." He looked off into the distance, down the hall of jail cells. "My mom once told me that my stepdad was the love of her life, but that there was a special link between her and Dwight that will always be there because of me. You have that now with Sam."

"I think I feel it. It was like something sprouted when I found out Beth was his, and it has been growing ever since."

Will looked over at her and smiled.

"Do you think Sam would feel it too? I mean if he were able to right now?" She leaned forward, anxious to hear his response, as if it were the answer to everything.

"I do. I think you will forever have a special place in his heart. I know he cared about you before, but this would make him feel even more. At least that has been my experience."

"Thank you for saying that Will." She swiped at the tears that had fallen down her cheeks.

"I've got to head back up. Sure I can't get you anything?"

"I'm fine."

"You stay strong for that little girl of yours. She's going to need you."

Quinn watched Will disappear up the stairs, leaving her once again alone, with her thoughts.

A special place in his heart. Will's words resonated within Quinn. What she had been feeling about Sam all these months had been real, not just some fanciful notion from her imagination. It was their bond, strengthening because of Beth. Quinn couldn't help but smile at the idea of that. The boy that first opened her heart would always be a part of her somehow. He wasn't lost to fading memories or half wake dreams. Sam would be with her always, because of Beth.

Right now she didn't feel like much. She felt worn out, bitter, and bruised, guilty and ashamed, the girl that had dreamed of superstardom and traveling the world, long gone. It was hard to accept that her baby was conceived by a one night stand, not from a loving relationship. She had wanted to create life from a stable loving place, not from the secrets and shame that came from illicit affairs. She had let Beth down before she was even born, thrusting her into a world where she didn't even have the certainty of paternity. No child should start life on such shaky ground. Dr. Hill had helped her see that maybe all of these thoughts and feelings of guilt and shame had also led her to leaving Beth alone that night. Maybe her feelings of inadequacy as a mother played a role in her believing her baby was better off without her.

If only she could have seen it all then, maybe things would have turned out differently, and she wouldn't be facing the possibility of years away from her daughter. She should have known that there could be no shame in anything that she and Sam created, because theirs was a loving bond that stretched over time. They may have slept together that night out of pain, but what brought them to each other was solely about their connection, their bond, their love. And she did love him, her sweet boy from her youth, her beautiful Sam that would recite her poetry, sing her songs, and look at her like she was the loveliest thing in his view. Beth was made from those memories. All that she and Sam were led them to each other that night, the invisible cord that drew them in, that made them latch onto each other as safe harbors in the midst of rocky seas. Nothing had ever changed that. And finally Quinn realized, nothing ever would.

* * *

><p>Mercedes pressed her back against the wall and for a moment she escaped her current state of imprisonment in a file room and transported herself back to a summer night by the lake, when her biggest concern was the struggle to control the warming desire she felt every time Sam turned his green eyes on her. She had wanted him so much back then, to let him see inside of her heart, but she was too scared to let herself reveal that much especially after all the ways he'd rejected her. So she held back, forcing their newly forged friendship to be enough. It never quite was though. Mercedes always longed for a little more of Sam.<p>

* * *

><p><em>It was a warm summer night and Sam had taken her out in his boat to watch the sunset. Their knees touching as they snuggled close in the boat, looking out to what felt like the ends of the earth as the sun slowly disappeared. She remembered sneaking glances over at him, only to find him staring at her. It seemed the sun didn't hold as much allure for either of them when they had each other in such close proximity. Sam leaned in so slowly, and Mercedes moistened her lips, closed her eyes anticipating the feel of his lips on hers. But it never happened. She opened her eyes to find him smiling at her, his green eyes dancing in the fading light. Her cheeks warmed in embarrassment, it wasn't like they were dating, he was trying to get over Rachel, and she was with Shane, so there was no reason to feel nervous, yet she still felt so insecure around him. They were friends now, her crush on Sam had been pushed to the background, yet in the fading light it felt stronger than ever and this time it almost seemed like he was feeling something for her too.<em>

_"Let's go for a swim," he said as he steered the boat to the dock._

_"It's getting dark. Besides we don't have our swimsuits."_

_"We don't need them," he said with just a hint of a southern drawl lacing his words, as he took her hand and helped her out of the boat. "Just for a little while. To cool off. I won't let anything happen to you. I promise."_

_She never could say no to him when he smiled at her like that. As if just being with her was the key to all of his happiness. They stripped down to their underwear, Sam in nothing but his black boxer briefs, and her in pink panties with black dots and a black lace bra that was more for support than sexiness. Mercedes hesitated in removing the shimmery gray cami that she wore over her underwear, the last barrier before she was fully exposed. Maybe it would be okay to get it wet, though the fabric was silk and it was expensive. It would be worth ruining it for some alone time with Sam. But Sam had other ideas as he invaded her space, his rippled abs brushing against her soft silk covered chest._

_"No fair," he almost whispered leaning in close as if he wanted to make sure she could hear him. "If I have to be in my underwear so do you."_

_Mercedes wanted to protest, she had her pout and her comeback on the ready, but with one move Sam stopped her. His long fingers trailing down her arms finally to rest on her hips. One finger inching over her exposed skin just below her panties. Her eyes met his, because she had to know if this was real, if he was really touching her this way. And he was, his green eyes almost iridescent in the moonlight said it all. He was asking her for more than just a swim._

_With a nod, she stepped back, willing herself to be brave and confident, she lifted her camisole over her head and dropped it to the sand. Sam's eyes raked over her body. his tongue skimming over his full lips, as his gaze made the slow climb back to her face._

_"You're beautiful," he said or at least that's what Mercedes thought he said._

_Her pulse was pounding in her ears so loudly that she couldn't hear much. But she could see, his outstretched tanned hand, and that damn crooked smile beckoning her toward sin. Turning back would have been the right thing to do, she was dating Shane after all. And in her mind that's exactly what she had done, but somehow her body didn't get the message because her fingers intertwined through his and she let him lead her into the water._

_"It feels like we're dancing," she said as she ran her hands down the length of his back, daring to touch him more than before in the cover of nightfall. His hands were on the small of her back, holding her close as he slowly twirled them in the water._

_"If only we had music," he said in not much more than a whisper._

_"The crickets chirping, the wind rustling the trees, we don't need music." She smiled as she took in their wooded surroundings, relishing how peaceful it all seemed at sunset._

_He was staring at her, a small smile on his face and Mercedes couldn't help but look away from the intensity in his eyes. What must he think of her? Normal girls don't hear music in the trees. She mentally scolded herself for letting something so silly slip from her mouth._

_He finally spoke, startling Mercedes from her thoughts. "I've never known anyone like you before."_

_She looked down trying to focus on the ripples in the water and not the ripples that appeared on his bare stomach whenever he breathed in or out. "I don't really fit. I know I'm not like other girls."_

_"No you're not." Mercedes worried her lower lip, fear starting to seep in. Maybe he finally was coming to his senses and realizing she was nothing he wanted in a girlfriend. He could be with anyone, why would he want someone like her? "The way you look at life, you see the beauty in everything. You make me see things, feel things…"_

_She leaned in and kissed him full on the lips, cutting off his words. The kiss was tentative at first, his surprise evident in the tension in his body, but he relaxed into her, easing her closer in his arms, coaxing her mouth with his tongue. Mercedes ran her fingers through his usually dirty blond hair, now golden from the summer, the damp strands lush between her fingers. The warmth of his mouth, the swirl of his tongue, every cell on fire, her mind hazy from his touch. She had somehow managed to end up on the beach, looking up at the stars just starting to appear, and then he came into view. His smile brighter than anything the sky beheld, her breath caught in her throat and her pulse pounded as he inched closer, shadowing her from the world, suddenly there was only him._

_Her mind inexplicably went to him last fall when Sam didn't know anything about her but still gave her a job. Then she flashed to Sam at his office, hard at work on some project, his hair falling into his face and the way he constantly blew it out of his eyes with short bursts of his breath whenever he was really focused on a task, as if just using his hands to push his hair aside was too much of a distraction when his mind was at work. He was closer now, watching her watch him, droplets of water falling from his bangs, onto her skin. She wondered if he knew her stomach was doing flip flops each time the muscles in his arms flexed as he held himself above her. Mercedes bit her lip trying to conceal any visible reaction to his closeness. Unbearable to have him hovering just beyond her reach, she needed more than a hint of the warmth his body radiated. She needed to feel the gentle burn of his skin against hers. Sam's full body weight upon her, pressing her deeper into the sand, molding them into one, hip to hip, chest to chest, mouths open and searching. Such a beautiful mouth he had. Lips so soft, they made her always want to kiss him, to taste his sweetness, like peppermints and chocolate._

_Mercedes often wondered if this were an elaborate plan to seduce her and leave her so wanting that she had no choice but to give herself to him. His eyes penetrated hers, his mouth invited her, his hands made her tingle with even the slightest touch. It had to be some sort of sorcery that made her feel this way about him. The magical spell that was the subject of so many arias. Sam invaded her like a song, he made her want to stretch to reach the highest notes, to pull him into her and feel the meaning of every glance, of every touch. Every part of him made her yearn to go deeper, to get closer, to connect. Was this what love felt like? Wanting someone so much that you wished they were a part of you so you could know them in every way?_

_His kisses built with intensity, swallowing her air, making her dizzy. She couldn't catch her breath but she couldn't stop, pulling him closer, allowing him greater access to her mouth. Arching her back so his hands could clutch her waist, pull her hard against him. Mercedes could hear herself moaning as his lips coursed a trail down her neck to her chest, his tongue teasing the outline of her black bra. It would have been so easy to hold his head to her breast and let him do what his mouth so clearly wanted, to kiss what was hidden beneath the thin damp slip of fabric. If only she could just let herself go, give in to the burning that threatened to consume her._

_Sam abruptly sat up panting, running his hands through his damp hair. He extended his hand and pulled her upright to sit beside him._

_"I didn't mean for that to happen," he smiled. "You just looked so pretty, hair fanned out in the sand. I couldn't help myself."_

_"I felt like Deborah Kerr in From Here to Eternity," she said breathily, still trying to regain her bearings after being so close to him._

_"You too?" He laughed, dimples erupting on his face. "Quinn used to make me watch old movies when we were in high school."_

_"I didn't have much time to watch TV growing up, but whenever I could those were the movies I was drawn to," she said shyly, running her hand nervously through her wet hair, hoping her curls wouldn't frizz too quickly in the heat. "Life just seemed better in black and white, like the feelings were somehow more honest without all the splashy special effects we have today."_

_"I never thought about it like that. It makes sense though. It's more pure right?"_

_"Feels that way to me."_

_"My dad tells me that the best stories are the old ones, the myths, the folktales. He says human emotions and desires were the most real in those stories. Sort of like old movies, I guess."_

_"I think so."_

_"It is amazing. My dad has been trying to make me understand that all my life and it's not until now with you that I get what he meant. You always manage to make me look at things in new ways." Sam leaned into her side affectionately._

_"I get scared sometimes to tell you what I'm thinking. I don't want you to think I'm completely out there."_

_"I told you before. I like that you're so different. No one else compares. So don't ever be afraid to be yourself with me." He looked at her and held her gaze, his eyes focused, as if challenging her to look away, but she did. She turned to look out at the darkness of the water, anything to escape how his eyes were making her feel, hot and uncomfortable in her own skin. She felt like he was daring her to peel off layers of herself with his eyes. He was asking so much of her without words._

_"Okay," she smiled back at him shyly. "Should we head back now? It's getting late."_

_"Soon. I want you to see something." He put his arm around her and leaned his chin on her shoulder. "Look over there." He pointed out into the darkness of the lake._

_"I don't see anything." Suddenly a glow appeared out on the water, illuminating the gentle waves of the lake. "That's so cool Sam. What is it?"_

_"Legend has it, a sailor fell in love with a beautiful woman from the mainland. They got married and moved out to a house on a little island on the lake. They were very happy. He would go out fishing every morning, and each night she would put a candle in the window to guide him home. Then one night a storm struck and his ship was lost. The woman waited and waited but he never came home. So every night she still lights a candle and puts it in the window hoping one day her love will return to her."_

_"That's so sad. It reminds me of Hero and Leander."_

_"You know that myth?" he asked looking at her curiously._

_"Growing up I was alone a lot , so all I did was read, lots of tragic tales of lost loves. Depressing huh?"_

_"I've always liked the sad stories best." Sam stretched out onto his back, folding his hands behind his head. "They died loving the same woman forever. Something noble about loving someone that deeply."_

_"Wouldn't it be nice to find someone to love like that? Never worry they'd leave you or forget you."_

_"Or dump you for the prom king?" he teased._

_"Exactly. Just one love everlasting and true. Like Romeo and Juliet." She smiled softly, thinking of the great love she had read about so often in books._

_"Or Kermit and Miss Piggy," he laughed as he looked up at the stars._

_"Sam. You're so crazy."_

_"So am I. You know you could have it. That great love." He turned on his side, watching her._

_"I hope so," she said quietly, not daring to fully voice that dream._

_"I could be your Leander and you could be my Hero. If you wanted." They locked eyes as his words settled between them._

_"Sam…" Mercedes began, anxious to fill the silence, the butterflies in her stomach were getting unruly, as he continued to look at her with his darkening green eyes._

_"I'd swim the roughest seas to get to your shores. Spend the whole night loving you and then brave the waves again to return home."_

_She settled down on her back beside him in the sand. "And I would light a candle in my tower, so you could always find your way."_

_"And I'd keep coming back. As long as you'd let me." He leaned over and brushed a kiss over her lips, murmuring gentle words as he pulled away._

_"Vail'd to the ground, veiling her eyelids close;_

_And modestly they opened as she rose._

_Thence flew Love's arrow with the golden head;_

_And thus Leander was enamoured._

_Stone-still he stood, and evermore he gazed,_

_Till with the fire that from his count'nance blazed_

_Relenting Hero's gentle heart was strook:_

_Such force and virtue hath an amorous look._

_It lies not in our power to love or hate,_

_For will in us is over-rul'd by fate._

_When two are stript, long ere the course begin,_

_We wish that one should lose, the other win;_

_And one especially do we affect_

_Of two gold ingots, like in each respect:_

_The reason no man knows, let it suffice,_

_What we behold is censur'd by our eyes._

_Where both deliberate, the love is slight:_

_Who ever lov'd, that lov'd not at first sight? "_

_"Sam that was so beautiful. I hope someday you find someone to love like that." Her eyes blurred with tears as his words filled her. She wished she had sunglasses on, so she could hide the emotions she was sure were so apparent on her face. She felt naked before him, as if he could see something deeper in her than she could see herself. Mercedes wanted to look away, she tried to, but his eyes kept her there, holding her breath, waiting to see what he would do next._

_"I memorized that back in high school," he admitted. "I'm dyslexic so I have practically a photographic memory to compensate I guess."_

_"That must come in handy. You could probably win big in Vegas with that skill, count cards or…"_

_"You're so cute," he said tapping his finger against the tip of her nose. "More than cute actually." He hesitated, his eyes roaming her face. "Damn beautiful," he said his voice cracking with an emotion Mercedes couldn't quite place. "I've memorized this face since the first day we met."_

_"Sam that's sweet, but you don't -"_

_He cut her off with a kiss, swallowing her words and stealing her breath. "Weren't you listening to the poem? That was for you. How I feel about you. So what do you say my beautiful Mercedes?" Sam moved in close, resting his forehead against hers, lowering his voice to a whisper. "Will you leave a light on so I can always find my way back to you?"_

_That night she left him hanging, the words she felt in her heart, trapped within her because of Shane. How could she trust Sam after he'd spent months ignoring her and pushing her aside? He saw her as a friend, a little sister, and anything more than that was just him feeling lonely after his breakup. Mercedes had tried to hold onto those truths for as long as she could, her lifeline to keep her heart safely away from where it longed to go._

* * *

><p>Kurt moving by her side, lured her back to the present. The lake now replaced by the dimly file room. She wished she could go back to the lake when Sam was healthy. She would give anything to see Sam laughing and smiling again, hair slicked back after a swim. He could sit on the beach and tell her a story or recite her a poem, or maybe just look into her eyes and make her feel like she was special and beautiful. Almost a year had passed with him stuck in this limbo between life and death, and still she waited for him with a candle lit to guide him home, never giving up hope that one day she'd catch a glimpse of him swimming toward her shore.<p>

"So we could just text Puck back, tell him to come and get us," said Kurt breaking the silence that had settled in the empty file room, where they sat on the floor, shoulder to shoulder, backs against the locked wooden door.

"Do we really want to explain this to him right now?" asked Mercedes.

"Yeah, not really up for a lecture. Let's move him to the back of the list. We could just call Sue, let her know the plan has gone awry."

Mercedes wanted to stay off of Sue's hit list for as long as possible. The fact that she had managed to remain in relatively good favor with the woman for this long was a miracle.

"I was hoping to impress her. Let her know I was capable of pulling this off without botching the job."

"Impressing the mother-in-law, I can understand that. We may need to call her though if worse comes to worse."

"Fine," she agreed. "We will keep her as an option."

"Finn!" Kurt blurted out excitedly.

"What about Finn?"

"I could call him, tell him to come scoop us."

"He has a key to the office?"

"No, but maybe he can bring a few of his frat brothers, burst through the door."

She rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Next please."

"Hairpin and a stick of gum?" offered Kurt.

She shook her head at his silliness. "Don't think so."

"It always works on TV," mumbled Kurt.

"We could just do 911." Maybe they could come up with a plausible reason for being inside.

Kurt held his phone up to his ear and pretended to make a call. "Hello Lima PD? Yeah put Will Schuester on the line, tell him his cousin accidentally got himself locked inside an office he broke into." He dropped his phone and looked at her. "You do realize that what we are doing here is a crime?"

"I guess I'll have to call Sue," she sighed scrolling through her phone to locate the number.

"No wait," said Kurt taking the phone from her hand. "Let's just take a moment and regroup. Maybe something will come to us."

"Okay sounds good." They sat quietly for a beat. "Anything come to you yet?" asked Mercedes.

"Nope. Let's watch Felicity," suggested Kurt. "We have almost all of season four left. I'll just pull up Netflix." He searched for the site on his phone.

"I do want to see what happens when Ben finds out about Felicity and Noel."

"Ben's going to kick Noel's ass. Guaranteed."

"Hello! Spoiler alert!" she exclaimed.

"You don't need a spoiler to see that coming. His girlfriend cheated with her ex. Punches will be thrown."

"God that show hits so close to home." Mercedes spread out on the floor on her stomach, placing Kurt's parka under head as a makeshift pillow.

"Wait until we see the rest of season four, you're going to think the writers were spying on your life." Kurt joined her in the reclined position, sharing the parka with her, his phone in front of both their faces like a mini television.

"Sounds like it will be depressing. Let's watch something happy."

"Should we head to the Creek?" he asked.

"Perfect."

"Which ep?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

"True Love" they both said in unison.

"Can we skip to the Jack and Ethan kiss first?" asked Kurt. "It's hard to sit through the whole episode knowing that is coming."

"Do it. The end is the best part. Don't you wish your life could be just like that episode?" she asked with a wistful sigh.

Kurt gave her a perplexed look. "Curled up in a ball on the kitchen floor, crying to my dad about how the first guy I ever kissed went back to his ex?"

"No," she giggled. "I meant sailing off into the sunset with your true love."

"Oh Pacey and Joey. Should've known." He rolled his eyes and resumed fast forwarding through the episode.

Mercedes rolled over on her back, staring up at the white ceiling tiles. "It was just so romantic how she finally just dropped everything and ran to him and declared her love."

He sat up and leaned back against the door. "In my experience sailing off is overrated. When you get back to shore inevitably disaster strikes, hearts broken. It never ends pretty. Safer bet to just love on dry land."

"Problems seem easier to face while at sea."

"More like easier to forget," he looked down at her on the floor. "But you gotta come home sometime."

"When Sam and I were trapped in the car, we thought of that time like we were drifting at sea on our own little life raft. It was so perfect, Kurt. Even though it was scary and he was hurt, we were together and we just held onto each other and talked. I've never felt that close to anyone before. It might have been one of the best nights of my life. How sick is that? The best night with Sam was the night I almost killed him." She looked up at him sadly, tears filling her eyes.

"I don't think that's sick." He reached down and stroked her shoulder lightly. "You were forced to shut out the world and just be alone together. Helps you see what's important. Easier to let your real emotions show."

"There was so much I should've said." Mercedes closed her eyes as the pain of that night hit her again. No matter how much time had passed it never got any easier.

"I want to show you something." She crawled over to where Kurt sat against the door, settling next to him. "So you know how I transferred here from Austin last fall?"

"You said you wanted to learn from the great Dwight Evans."

"Right and that's true. But I sort of came for another reason. See I had a baseball scholarship back in Texas. I was a pitcher."

"You never told me that."

"Trying not to dwell on it really. I hurt my shoulder end of sophomore year and it didn't heal right and couldn't pitch the same, so I lost my scholarship."

"Kurt, I'm so sorry." She leaned in closer to him, squeezing his arm.

"It was hard being at school, around my former teammates knowing I could never play again. Got depressing you know?" He kept his eyes focused on his phone's screen, the pain filling his voice.

"I can imagine."

"I was sort of drowning I guess. Didn't want to go to class, didn't want to hang out. Anyway, one night out of the blue I got a call. It was Sam. Him calling was a pretty rare occurrence. We usually only talked when I visited Lima or a random email here and there."

"What made him call?" asked Mercedes.

"I think my dad might have told him about my situation with the team."

"So what did he say?"

"Actually nothing really." He laughed lightly. "We talked about sports, a bit about D&E, school, just catching up. But before he hung up he said something that got to me. He told me to stop focusing on the things I couldn't do, and focus on the things I could."

"Good advice."

"Made me stop moping. Here he was a former soldier, injured in the line of duty, and he wasn't letting it hold him back. I had one stupid torn labrum and I was acting like my life was over."

"So you packed it in and moved to Lima?"

"Something like that. Just really disappointed that I didn't make it here before the accident. I wanted to thank him." Kurt leaned his head back against the door and closed his eyes.

"I'm sure he knows," said Mercedes reassuringly.

"I hope so." He leaned his head against hers. "Sam has always been my favorite cousin. Even though he was older than me, I still could relate to him. We both were the youngest in our families, both loved sports. The Evans' are not big athletes. Really just Sam and I were the only ones. Did you know I spent almost every summer with my Uncle Dwight growing up?"

"Really? I can't imagine that stuffy old house being much fun for a kid."

"It was fun for me. I remember one summer I was about ten and Sam would have been about seventeen, he had his cool car and his girlfriend."

"Quinn?"

Mercedes tried to squash the negative feelings she was starting to have as she imagined perfect teen couple, Sam and Quinn. It was pointless to be jealous of his past, yet more and more she was starting to be.

"Yep. He was busy being Mr. Popular, but he still managed to find time to hang out with me. We used to shoot hoops a lot. He even took me out in his boat a few times."

She smiled at him. "Sounds like you have some good memories."

"I wanted to show you this." He pulled up a photo on his phone and turned the screen toward Mercedes. It was an old picture of a little brown haired boy and Sam as a teen.

"Look at little Kurt, with all that hair." She grinned taking the phone out of his hand to get a closer look.

"I wouldn't let my dad cut it."

"I can tell. It is a curly mop. Sam is so young there. Now I see why Beth's hair is so blond." Mercedes handed Kurt back his phone. She ran her hands over her knees before she began. "I found a photo in Quinn's room at the hospital, it was of Sam around this time. He was in a tux."

"Probably prom."

"Quinn had it just out in the middle of the bed. She must've been reminiscing."

"Cede, I thought we settled all of this before. They were high school sweethearts, you know that."

"I kept the picture. I got so angry that she would have it, like she was somehow violating our marriage." Kurt shot her a look. "Don't look at me like that. I know I'm being crazy. I just hate that she had the chance to know him for so many years and I may only get this. He could be gone Kurt." She buried her face in her hands, willing herself not to cry.

He rubbed her shoulders. "We found the will. It's all good now."

"Give me your lighter," said Mercedes standing up abruptly.

"You know I quit smoking. All I have is my phone, a few tic tacs, and this bottle of Powerade."

"Just hand it over." Mercedes extended her hand expectantly. "I know you have it on you."

"I just told you…"

"Kurt," she said cutting him off. "You never leave the house without two cigarettes and a lighter in your pocket, just in case you decide to start smoking again."

"You've got a memory like an elephant I swear." He dug the silver lighter out of the pocket of his jeans and handed it to her. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to destroy the will."

He looked up at her in surprise. "In here? I don't think setting a fire in an enclosed space is such a good idea."

"A little singe here and there to make it illegible," she said as she lit the end of the paper. A small flame began to darken the edges. "Look we've got an empty trashcan." Mercedes grabbed the can and brought it closer to where Kurt still sat. She threw the burning paper down into it. "See there? Easy."

"Sort of smells like barbeque, which reminds me I'm hungry." Mercedes shook her head and smiled. Everything made Kurt hungry.

"Let me put it out before your stomach starts growling." She grabbed his bottle of Powerade that was on the floor beside him.

"Cede wait!" Kurt yelled as Mercedes poured the red liquid over the burning paper in the trashcan. Flames shot up out of the can, causing Mercedes to jump back in alarm.

"Oh my god, I thought water put out fires. Isn't Powerade just colored water?" She tried to fan the flames down with her hands. Kurt rushed to her side and waved his hands over the can as well.

"It is, but mine was mixed with Everclear."

"Kurt!"

"I said 'Cede wait!' You just didn't."

"You should've said Cede, it's not Powerade. You know I don't listen when someone tells me to wait."

"Suffocation!" yelled Kurt.

"Huh?"

"We've got to snuff it out. Take off your coat, and throw it over the can, so no air can get in and the fire will go out."

"Good idea." She placed her black trench over the top of the can. They stood and watched, alarmed when thick puffs of smoke started escaping from the covered can. "Why is there so much smoke?" asked Mercedes.

"It's just the fire dying."

"Are you sure? Because it's starting to get thick." A steady buzz permeated the room. It sounded like a really loud alarm clock.

"Oh no, the fire alarm," groaned Kurt anxiously rubbing his temples.

"Does it call directly to the fire department?"

"I think so, after a few minutes if it isn't disengaged."

"How do we shut it off?" asked Mercedes frantically trying to fan the smoke away from the ceiling.

"On the panel out by the reception desk."

"Lovely. Any other ideas?"

"Now would be a great time to call Sue."

"Fine." Mercedes pulled out her phone and began typing a message.

"Tell her to bring towels."

"Towels?"

"Yes because if we don't get the alarm off soon the sprinkler system will come on. We're going to get wet." Mercedes's stomach dropped at that bit of information.

"Oh look. It stopped smoking." She removed her coat to reveal the charred remnants of the will in the trashcan.

"One less thing to worry about right?" He plopped down in the middle of the floor dejectedly.

Mercedes sat down next to him. "Tell me why you had spiked Powerade in your pocket?"

"I was at the house with Finn."

"Again with the Gammas."

"They're not bad guys and they always have food. Today they had special punch. So I got some for later."

"Drinking and driving Kurt," she said in a scolding tone.

"I said it was for later. I had planned to put it in the fridge when I got home. Rachel and I were thinking about using it to make jello shots."

"Right. What else would you do with a sorority sister as a roommate?"

"Rachel has long graduated and is completely legal to partake in any shots of her choice in the comfort of her home. As am I. You on the other hand…"

"Why do you have to remind me I am younger than you every chance you get?"

"I need something to lord over you. Bad enough you graduated two years early, makes me look bad."

"I was homeschooled," she stated.

"I was homeschooled," he mimicked. "That doesn't give you the right to show me up. You know my dad actually asked why I couldn't be more like you and apply myself. He said Mercedes graduated early and has a job and still has time for postgraduate work. Blah blah blah."

"Is he still on you about grad school?"

"Yes and having you around is not helping. Carol has started in on me too."

"Yikes. I know your stepmom can be relentless."

"She can be downright scary."

"I guess she had to be raising Finn on her own."

"It's like she has this freak sixth sense. Just last week I was at their house, raiding the kitchen. She had just made a cake and I was going to sneak a little taste when all of a sudden she yelled out 'I see you, Kurt Hummel'. I backed off thinking she was right behind me. Nope, nothing. She was down the hall on the couch the whole time. Spooky."

"I still want to know how she managed to card me at Scandals when she wasn't even there."

"Well that one is easy. You never should've tried using your fake ID in there again after she let you slide that first time."

Mercedes shrugged. "I figured different bartender, what would be the harm?"

"I'm sure Carol alerted every staff member about you. Probably had a most wanted poster behind the bar."

"As opposed to what she has now? My fake ID mounted behind the bar on the wall of shame. So embarrassing to see my face up there every time I come in."

"At least you've got me to hook you up."

"You are the best for buying drinks and passing them to me." She hugged him around his shoulders, squeezing him playfully.

"Because I am twenty-one," he teased sticking his tongue out at her.

She nudged him with her shoulder. "Shut up."

He nudged her back. "Soon to be twenty-two and when will you be turning twenty-one, Mrs. Evans?"

"In November."

"All the way in November. That's such a long, long time."

"It is a long time. However will I make it through the start of grad school at the tender age of twenty this September? My classmates will mock me because I can't join them at the bar. I might have to continue to rely on my older, but still in undergrad friend, to sneak me drinks."

"Cute," he smirked. "Real cute."

"I thought so."

"So you're seriously going back to school?"

"Got accepted. My dad really wants me to go."

"What dad doesn't?" Kurt grabbed Mercedes's arm. "Shh do you hear that? Someone's out there."

"Do you think it's the fire department?"

"I don't know," said Kurt rising to his feet. He ran to the door.

"We're in here!" He yelled banging loudly on the door.

Mercedes jumped up when the door suddenly opened and a dark haired man appeared. She recognized the man immediately. He was Quinn's attorney.

Artie glanced them over, surprised to find them there. "Hi Kurt and Mercedes right?"

"We sort of got locked in," explained Kurt with a small smile.

"Does your dad know you're here? When I came in the fire alarm was going off."

"Well about that…" Kurt hesitated, looking down at his feet, nervously.

"Kurt we might as well just tell him," said Mercedes trying to cover for his uneasiness.

"We should?" asked Kurt clearly confused.

"We can't keep it from him. You're working with Burt now right?" Mercedes asked turning her attention to Artie.

"Yes, part time." Artie replied.

"I guess we should just come clean," said Mercedes hoping Kurt would catch on and follow her lead.

"Right…" he said drawing out his words. "So what had happened was…"

Mercedes jumped in. "I lit a match. Well a lighter actually. I wanted to prove to Kurt that we couldn't use this room to hide the cake."

"The cake?" asked Artie crossing his arms.

"Yes a cake. It was going to be a surprise." Kurt explained.

"Kurt's parents just got married," added Mercedes.

"I thought that was like five years ago," said Artie.

Mercedes ignored Artie's comment and continued. "And we wanted to get them a cake with candles you know throw a little party."

"Here? In the office?" Artie looked back and forth between them, clearly skeptical.

"Yeah because surprise!" Kurt said quickly with mock enthusiasm. "Who would ever think of a wedding party in a law office? Five years after the wedding date."

"And Kurt had the idea to hide in here and then jump out with a cake. So we came in to test the idea. Good thing we did." Mercedes laughed nervously. "Smoke alarm."

"Then we accidentally locked ourselves in here and woo hoo you saved us," he said grinning at Artie.

"Woo!" chimed in Mercedes.

"Good thing I stopped by tonight to find you and your friend," said Artie.

"She's my cousin actually."

"We're not really cousins."

"What?" Kurt turned to look at her, a hurt expression on his face. "That really hurts Cede."

"I mean were cousins by marriage, not blood."

"And that counts," said Kurt.

"Absolutely it does."

"I think of you as family." He leaned over and hugged her.

"Me too Kurt," said Mercedes hugging him tighter, before stepping away.

"Are you two done here? I've got to get down to the police station," said Artie moving out of the doorway.

"To report us?" Kurt blurted out in alarm. Mercedes looked over at him widening her eyes. He was about to blow it.

"No. For Quinn. She's been taken into custody. But you know all about that right Mrs. Evans?" asked Artie looking at Mercedes suspiciously.

"Sorry, I'm not on top of all Quinn's legal woes. Too busy taking care of the baby she abandoned." Kurt nudged Mercedes with his hip, probably to get her to stop talking. But she ignored him. Quinn's lawyer was deliberately trying to call her out for some reason.

"It wouldn't hurt you to show some compassion. She's been through a lot. She's pretty much alone in this."

"Looks like she has a fan club to me," said Mercedes almost under her breath.

"I'm sure your husband would expect you to be considerate of his good friend's feelings. Wasn't he president of her fan club at one point?" Artie asked with a smug smile playing on his lips.

"Excuse me? You didn't just go there. You don't know anything about my husband."

"Oh look at the time," interrupted Kurt.

"I know more about him than you think," retorted Artie.

"We better get going," said Kurt tugging on Mercedes's sleeve to guide her toward the door. "Quinn's waiting right? And Mercedes we have to go eat."

Mercedes pulled away from Kurt stepping closer to Artie. "You have the audacity to tell me what my husband would want? He is in a coma."

"I know and I truly am sorry," said Artie.

"You don't think my husband would have a problem with his old friend after what she did to his baby?"

"I think you may be projecting your own feelings of jealousy and hurt onto him. I'm pretty sure a good man like Sam would stand by someone that he's been close to since high school. No matter what." Mercedes could feel her agitation rising with his every word.

"Who the hell do you think you are? My husband is protective of his family and he won't let anyone, not even Quinn put his child at risk. When he finds out what she did, he's going to cut her out of his life completely." Angry tears spilled over her cheeks.

"You're deluding yourself if you think he doesn't care about Quinn. You better prepare yourself to deal with that fact if he ever wakes up. You think siccing Dwight on her is going to change that?"

"Okay, enough," said Kurt stepping between them. "Artie I thank you for helping us out. I appreciate it. And I hope I can trust you to keep our surprise hidden from my father."

"Not a problem," said Artie bowing his head.

"Good. One last thing," Kurt stepped closer to the man, straightening his posture and taking a more serious tone. "If you ever speak to my cousin's wife like that again I will personally see to it that my father kicks you out on your ass. Harassing an innocent woman is unacceptable."

"Just saying what she needed to hear."

"There's nothing she needs to hear from you. Go see about your client. I'll lock up here."

"Think about what I said, Mrs. Evans."

"Good night, Mr. Abrams." Kurt turned to Mercedes who was trembling beside him, tears streaming down her face. "Hey, no tears. You can't let him get to you."

"What if he's right Kurt?"

"Two minutes ago you were about to rip him a new one, now you are crying. What is up?"

"What if I made all the wrong choices and Sam wakes up and sides with Quinn? He could hate me, Kurt."

"Listen. What you told Artie was right. We Evans' are protective of our families. Sam is going to do right by his child, even if that means dealing harshly with Quinn. He would understand that everything you are doing is to protect Beth."

She looked over at him, uncertainly. "You really think so?"

"I most definitely do." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and walked with her toward the door. "Pick up your bag and let's go. First we go grab some grub, then we go see Sam. Okay?"

"Okay. Thanks for everything Kurt."

"That's what cousins are for." Mercedes laughed as she pushed her bag up on her shoulder. "I can't believe you said I wasn't really your cousin."

"I got nervous. I tend to ramble."

"Miss Professional got nervous. First you leave the lock picking kit on the wrong side of the door, then you almost burn the place down, almost lost it with Artie." Kurt turned off the lights and checked the alarm panel before joining Mercedes by the front door.

"I was having an off night," said Mercedes.

"Ya think?" Kurt grabbed her playfully around the neck as they went out the main doors of the office and onto the street. "You're so lucky I love you."

Mercedes smiled as she let Kurt drag her down the street to his car.


	37. Chapter 37

**Thanks for reading and commenting! Let me know what you think!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 37<strong>

Mercedes couldn't contain her smile as she watched Beth's little hand slap at Dwight's larger one from her spot by the doorway. She had been standing there watching them for over ten minutes, Dwight or Beth none the wiser. She loved catching moments like this with Dwight, Sam and Beth all together in the same room. Mercedes hoped one day to get pictures of the three of them. She almost wanted to take pictures now, so Sam could see how much his father loved him and his daughter. Mercedes knew Sam had doubts about how his father really felt about him, he often wondered if he was nothing but a great source of disappointment for the man. If only she could convince Sam that nothing was farther from the truth. She had been witness to the depths of Dwight's love for months. He spared no expense in his son's care, he made sure Beth was well provided for. He spent hours at Sam's bedside reading to him, talking to him, or most often just watching him, sitting silently in his company. Dwight may exude a hard exterior, cutthroat and no nonsense, but Mercedes knew how to read people. She knew the signs of hidden anguish. She could see the heartbreak behind his eyes.

Dwight sat in the chair beside the bed, even though wearing an expensive custom tan suit, he still bounced Beth, decked out in her pink and yellow striped footed pajamas, on his knee, braving drool and sour milk that always came with playing with Beth. Sam was there, a silent fixture in the room, his arms on top of his quilt, his face turned toward the wall. The sleeves on his green silk pajamas were too long and covered part of his hands. Mercedes noted to herself to roll them up when she got the chance. Sam would hate having his hands hampered by excess fabric. He was always so perfectly tailored.

"When the weather gets warmer, we got to get Beth in the water. I know she's little now, but this summer when she's eight or nine months old, she'll be ready. We just can't let Sue get wind of it. Back when I used to take you swimming as a boy, she would stand on the side of the pool shrieking, swearing I would let you drown. As if I'd ever let anything happen to you. I'd die first. You loved the water. You used to beg, 'Just a few minutes longer dad' and you'd stay in the water until you shriveled like a prune. And when you finally got out, I'd hold the towel open and you'd run into it. I wrapped it around you and scooped you up. Never told you how much I loved our swims."

Hearing the emotion in his voice she decided to make her presence known not wanting to watch him break down. Not when they were so close to getting him back. She had gotten rid of the will and it was like a dark cloud had lifted. It was a sure sign Sam would be back with them soon. She made a noise alerting Dwight to her presence.

"Mercedes," he said turning to face where she stood by the door. "We've been waiting for you."

"Sorry Kurt and I were late from dinner. I thought we were going to the BreadStix instead he took me to this little country restaurant off the interstate." She crossed the room to them, pausing to kiss Beth on the top of the head before turning to rub Sam's arm. She lounged against the bed facing Dwight, but never losing contact with Sam.

"Lola's."

"You know it?" asked Mercedes. She couldn't imagine Dwight Evans at such a casual place.

Dwight nodded. "I used to take Sam and Puck there when they were boys. I think Sam used to take Kurt." That's why he wanted to go. He'd been telling her stories about Sam the whole car ride. He must have wanted to go somewhere that reminded him of his cousin.

"Kurt's crazy about the buttermilk biscuits." He had ordered two plates of them. Kurt claimed that some of them were for her, but she never got to have any, he devoured them all. It was fine by Mercedes, she didn't have much of an appetite anyway. The soup she ordered was more than enough.

"They are good. Melt in your mouth when they are fresh out the oven. Tastes just like back home in Tennessee. Sam and Puck used to have contests to see who could eat the most. Do you remember Sam?" he asked smiling, turning toward Sam's bed. "We're going to have to take Beth there one day. Three generations of Evans having biscuits at Lola's." Dwight's smile faded as he looked at Sam's still form. He held Beth closer in his arms, gently stroking the baby's pale hair. "Don't worry I'll be sure to take her, son." He said it so quietly Mercedes almost had to strain to hear.

"You'll all go some day. I'm sure of it."

Dwight shook his head and smiled at Mercedes sadly. "Some day."

Beth squirmed in Dwight's arms as she noticed Mercedes in his eye line.

"Were you a good girl for Big Papa D?" asked Mercedes lifting her from Dwight's arms. She cradled her close and kissed her head softly.

"Mercedes you will pay if you have the girl calling me Papa D. Mark my words." Dwight scowled.

"We made grandpa grumpy. He sounds like he needs a nap," she said trying to suppress a giggle.

"Shannon says that to me all the time."

Mercedes smiled as she settled at the foot of the bed positioning Beth in her arms.

"I heard about Quinn," she said as she played with Beth, making funny faces to get her to react.

"Oh so that is what has you in a chipper mood," said Dwight with a wry smile.

"You know I'm not happy that she's in jail. What happened? I thought the judge was re-evaluating her case."

"Quinn is right where she belongs," he said gruffly. "Can't have a crazy woman running the streets."

"Running the streets? Is this about the other night when she was found outside?"

Mercedes had wondered if that stunt would come back to bite Quinn. Apparently it had. She still wasn't sure how she felt about Quinn being shipped away. Beth needed her mother and having her so far away would just make things more painful for her, especially as she got older and realized Quinn wasn't around. The state hospital did have the means to provide Quinn with better care than they did in Lima. Maybe it was for the best if Quinn were someplace where she could focus on her recovery. Mercedes looked over at Sam again wondering how he would feel about all of this. She used to think she knew, but now she wasn't so sure.

"Don't concern yourself with Quinn. You have enough to handle here with these two. We Evans can be a handful." Dwight was evading the subject, which pretty much confirmed her suspicions that he was somehow behind Quinn's sudden transfer upstate.

"Tell me about it. This little one here won't sleep enough." She sighed heavily, glancing over at Sam. "And her father sleeps too much. But soon he will be up and moving around again."

"Has something changed with his condition?" asked Dwight sitting up in his chair.

"Nothing his stats will show. I just feel good about it. I think the worst part is behind us now. Things are about to look up." She shifted Beth in her arms so she could rub Sam's leg. She wanted him to feel her there next to him.

"Mercedes, I think we need to sit down and seriously talk about what Burt told us."

"I know how you feel Dwight and we disagree. But it no longer matters." She smiled brightly. "That's all in the past."

"How do you mean?" Dwight looked puzzled.

"Just a feeling we won't have to worry about Sam much longer."

"Did you have too much wine with dinner?" he asked snarkily.

Mercedes rolled her eyes. "I'm not drunk, just optimistic."

"Nothing wrong with a positive outlook," he said rising from the chair. "But we have to stay realistic."

"Don't worry I am." She rubbed Beth's belly until a smile appeared on her face, one deep dimple in full view.

"It's getting really late I better get you two home. The limo is waiting for us out front. I just need to tell Shannon we're ready. She went to visit a sick friend upstairs."

Mercedes stood up and walked Dwight to the door. "I am going to say goodnight to Sam and we can go."

"Do you want me to take Beth?"

"No she wants to spend more time with her daddy. Don't you little princess?" She hugged the baby close to her face.

"Ok we'll be right outside," said Dwight as he left the room. As soon as the door shut, Mercedes turned back toward Sam.

"Sam you really thought you had me," she said as she walked back to the bed. "Always did like to keep me on my toes. Tried to trip me up with that living will. Not this time though. Kurt and I destroyed it. So no pulling the plug on you. I win. I'm ready for my prize."

She sat down on the bed next to him, leaning against the pillow his head was on. "What should we get as a reward Beth? Should daddy come back to us? Should that be our prize? Yes! I think so too. You're outnumbered Sam. We demand you wake up this instant." She looked down at his peaceful face, unchanged. "Okay you can take a little more time, but not too long. There's so much you need to be here for."

Mercedes sat Beth in her lap, letting her lean back against her. Her feet capturing her interest, as she tried to reach for them. "Beth is cutting a tooth I think. She's been gnawing on stuff, drooling all over me. So that stage is coming and from what I've read, it's not fun. No way are you leaving me here to deal with a teething baby alone. You've got to do some of the work too, lose some of the sleep, and pick up some of the slack. Time for you to be the dad you always wanted to be." Still he remained facing away from her.

Looking down at Beth in her lap, she hesitated. "I'm not sure I should get into this now, but I don't want to leave it until morning." She took a deep breath. "I'm sure you noticed I wasn't around for a few days. I was sick. Sort of. Really I was a little hurt. Quinn told me about the Beacon Hotel. Honestly, I don't know what to think. And I know I have no right to say anything since we were separated at the time, but it still hurt to hear you were with her. I know what you're probably thinking. How can I feel that way after everything that I put you through with Shane?" She gently stroked his hair as she spoke. "I know I'm being a hypocrite. The thing is I told you how I felt about Shane back then. This stuff with Quinn, you never said anything to me. Were you struggling with feelings for her the whole time we were together? I need you to tell me. Is this the reason you were so insistent about me believing I was not second choice? Was this something you left unsaid?"

Her mind went to a morning last spring, after the horrible truth about Shane had been revealed. Now she understood the subtext to their entire conversation, that he was battling his own guilt, more so than trying to deal with hers. The signs were all there, she had seen them, she just had interpreted them wrong. It never crossed her mind that he would sleep with someone else.

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><p><em>Mercedes studied Sam from across the kitchen table. He had barely said two words to her since they had sat down to eat, his attention focused on the newspaper.<em>

_"Sam?"_

_"Yeah," he responded without looking up._

_"You're okay with what happened last night right?" She toyed with her wedding rings nervously._

_"What?" He looked up in surprise. "Of course, I love being with you." He smiled almost like an afterthought, as if his real feelings were hidden behind some mask he was wearing._

_"It sort of seemed like I pushed things and you just went along with it."_

_"Aggressive women are sexy. I liked it." He smirked, taking a sip of his tea._

_She bit her lip to fight back the tears that were building. "Really? Because you hadn't touched me in days and I was thinking maybe the whole Shane kiss thing wasn't as resolved as you led me to believe."_

_"I told you." Sam reached for her hand and held it. "I understand and we're going to work through it."_

_"You're distant. What are you not telling me?" she asked her voice breaking halfway through._

_He dropped her hand and ran his fingers through his hair pushing it back from his face. "I'm not going to lie to you and pretend that knowing you were going to leave me for him didn't hurt. I was wrecked."_

_"And Quinn made you feel better?"_

_He coughed, the tea he had been drinking choking him a little. "What?"_

_"When you went to see her that night, she made you better? Helped you." She watched him closely. He was hiding something but she didn't know what it was._

_"Right. She did," he replied quickly. "I thought you were leaving me. The whole time I was with her I imagined you with him."_

_"Sam I'm so sorry." Mercedes buried her face in her hands, all the feelings of guilt rushing back over her. Sam had probably thought she and Shane were sleeping together that night. "You've got to know I'd never do that to you."_

_"It's not just about sex though. Sex I could almost handle. Knowing you had feelings for him and wanted him over me…that's what destroyed me."_

_"Sometimes I wonder what I really would've done if Shane had gotten that message and come to me."_

_"You don't think you would have left?" He folded up his paper and pushed aside his breakfast, his attention fully on her._

_"I don't know. When I think about our wedding and saying our vows, I can't imagine ever having left that room without marrying you. When I said 'I do' I meant it more than anything I have ever said in my life." Looking him in the eyes, she willed him to believe her. She wanted to reach out and grab his hand, touch him in some way, but it didn't seem right. She still could sense the wall he was putting between them._

_"And what about those feelings for Shane?" he asked unflinchingly, not letting her run this time._

_"Is this too hard for you to hear?" she asked getting up and carrying her plate to the sink. Anything to escape his eyes. His pain was ripping her apart. "I'm scared. I feel like I'm losing you. I feel you pulling away from me. Maybe if we get all this out in the open, it'll help," she admitted as she came back to retrieve his dish._

_"Come here," he said pulling her onto his lap. "You're not losing me. You'll never lose me."_

_She let herself sink into him, hugging him to her, relishing the feeling of being in his arms. "Never say never. I've been known to screw many things up."_

_"Welcome to the club," he chuckled. "I'd like to think we're different though. In some ways it feels like I've waited my whole life for this, for you." He laced his fingers through hers. "I'm not ready to just give up on that, especially not over this."_

_"But you said you thought I was leaving you for Shane," she said looking at him in surprise. "That's grounds for divorce for most people."_

_"I know. Maybe for me too, if I truly believed it. Could be I'm an idiot, but when I'm with you I just feel…" He looked at her and smiled. "It just feels right."_

_Resting her forehead against his, she closed her eyes as she spoke. "I think that was part of why I was so confused about Shane. How could I have feelings for him when every time I was with you I felt like it was the only place I was supposed to be? That's why I wanted to call off the wedding. It felt wrong to marry you when my heart was so divided."_

_"I wish you had told me that before," he said leaning back in the chair._

_"I didn't want to hurt you and then when I finally did see you, I couldn't bear the idea of walking away."_

_"You were scared you were going to lose me?"_

_"Yes. Which was so wrong. How could I expect you to wait for me while I dealt with Shane? While I…" She paused searching for the right words to explain to him what she was feeling._

_"While you caught up?" he asked completing her thought._

_She nodded. "It was like I needed to catch up to get my heart in line with yours."_

_He moved her off his lap abruptly, getting up to pace the floor. "You didn't trust me. You didn't think I'd be there for you. I would break your heart."_

_"You had done it before, more than once," she said standing by the table, staring at her feet. "But the worse…"_

_"Was when I didn't pursue things with you. When I went back to Rachel," he interrupted. "I chose her over you." Their eyes connected."I would've understood all this if you had come to me."_

_"You were so eager to get married. I didn't want to hurt you." She sat down in the chair he had vacated._

_"When I was dating Rachel you used to try to convince me that we should be together, that we were meant for each other."_

_"Don't remind me. I was so crazy back then," she said shaking her head, embarrassed by her behavior._

_"But you were right," he said his voice softening._

_"I didn't feel right as I watched you fall more and more in love with Rachel."_

_Sam walked over to her and took her by the hand, pulling her to her feet, to stand in front of him. "That night we made love for the first time, you told me you were waiting for me."_

_"I stupidly held onto the hope that you would finally see me and realize we'd be so good together."_

_"You waited for me to catch up, even when I was with Rachel."_

_"Yes."_

_He lifted her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes. "Why didn't you trust that I would wait for you with Shane?"_

_"I guess I figured why would someone like you wait for someone like me?" Not wanting him to see the tears in her eyes, Mercedes walked over to the sink._

_"Mercedes, don't you know how special you are? How much you mean to me?" He was behind her, his arms around her waist pulling her back into his body. He pressed gentle kisses into her hair as he continued. "I liked you from the moment I met you. You are a treasure. I am grateful every day that you even want me in your life. I love you in ways I can't even put into words. I would've waited for you. I still would. Is your heart there yet, in line with mine? Do you need time?"_

_She turned around, wrapping her arms around his neck. "When you got sick right after our wedding with that infection in your leg, I had a nightmare. The infection has spread and there was nothing the doctors could do for you and you were going to die. I started freaking out. Even after I woke up I couldn't shake those bad feelings."_

_"You never told me that," he said wiping the few stray tears she couldn't contain with the pad of his thumb._

_"I knew I was being stupid. It wasn't real. But for that moment, when I thought you weren't going to make it, I've never been so scared. I sort of figured out I was caught up right there."_

_"Thank you for telling me all this. I know you still care about Shane." Mercedes opened her mouth to protest, but Sam placed two fingers over her lips, silencing her contradiction."I know it. But I also know you want to be with me."_

_"I do. My heart is right here with you." She rose up on her toes and swept a kiss across his lips, pulling back before he could deepen it. Staring into his eyes she said, "Always."_

_"That's all I need." He grinned down at her, his eyes morphing into half moon slits on his face."As long as our hearts are in it, we can make it through anything."_

_"Promise me something."_

_"Anything," he said stroking the ends of her hair._

_"Promise me that we'll always be honest like this. No matter how hard it gets. I don't want us to hide anymore."_

_"From this day forward. No more secrets," he said before kissing her on her forehead._

_"I feel like we should be pinky swearing or something." She laughed feeling like things were getting better, that what had been broken between them was mending._

_"I'm not sure real men pinky swear," he said placing both hands on each side of her, trapping her between his body and the counter. "I've got another idea about how we can seal this pact."_

_"Do tell," she said trying to resist losing herself in his eyes. She watched him drift closer to her, pulse pounding in her ears, his lips inches from hers._

_"I'd rather show," he whispered._

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><p>She looked over at Sam grimly, then down at Beth in her lap playing with her finger. Sam had made that pact on a lie. He never told her the truth about sleeping with Quinn, even after promising to always be honest. She didn't think he had lied about anything else, she knew in her bones he had told her everything, at least she did until all the Beacon Hotel stuff came up. Their marriage had just begun. Everything was built on such a shaky foundation, she was starting to feel foolish about putting so much stock in him. She was investing all her energy into the promise that never got a real chance to be. It seemed crazy when she really thought about it, banking her whole future on a gut feeling. Sam felt like home, therefore they were meant to be. That feeling had no basis in reality, in fact everything that had happened in the course of their relationship seemed to indicate the exact opposite. But when she looked at him, touched him, closed her eyes and remembered it all, those feelings were all she needed to believe. He had been with her once, feeling like fate had finally shown them favor and brought them together. He had believed in them.<p>

"Is your heart still in it?" she whispered.

His lips were chapped. Mercedes eased Beth up on her shoulder so she could dig her lip balm from her pocket. She generously applied it to her lips, then leaned over Sam and kissed him, leaving behind a nice coating of moisturizer. She smoothed it out with her finger, outlining the gentle rise of his lips, longing to see them curve into a smile once again. She ran her fingers through his hair briefly before kissing him again, this time on his cheek.

Beth wiggled in her arms, uncomfortable in the position she held her in while she tended to Sam. "Do you want to give daddy a kiss too?" She leaned Beth close to Sam's face. The baby just looked at him at first, then she reached out her little hand and touched Sam's nose. Sam shifted slightly his head turning toward them. Mercedes sat back, a little surprised by the response.

"Sam did you feel that?" she asked. "That was your daughter."

"Let's give him another kiss. See if we can get daddy to move again." She held Beth over Sam again, a little closer this time. The baby kicked her feet as she dangled over her father, smiling, drool escaping her mouth and hitting Sam on his cheek. Sam moved his head again in their direction, more pronounced than before. Mercedes's spirits raced. He was coming back, she could feel it.

"Good girl you drooled on daddy. What should we do next? Should I give him another kiss? Daddy likes kisses."

Mercedes sat Beth on Sam's stomach, careful to avoid the tubes she knew were under his pajama top. With one hand holding Beth steady and the other stroking Sam's hair, Mercedes kissed Sam again, on the lips, lingering for a moment before pulling away. Suddenly Sam's eyes opened, scaring Mercedes. She picked Beth up and moved off the bed. This didn't seem like just a reflex action.

Mercedes rocked Beth excitedly, walking the length of the room and back, eyes never leaving Sam. She briefly considered going out to tell Dwight or to get a doctor. This could be what they had all been praying for. But she thought better of it wanting to first make sure she just wasn't imagining it all in her head.

"Sam," she called out to him taking his hand in hers. "Sam come back to us. We need you." She squeezed his fingers gently before letting go to rub Beth's back when she started to fuss. "Sam," she said again. This time in what had to be a direct response Sam slowly moved to his side, facing her, eyes still open.

Mercedes smiled. "Sam can you hear me?" she asked excitedly, tears springing in her eyes. Sam was waking up. He moved again, his knees inching up toward his chest, his lips slowly parted. Mercedes's smile faded as she took in his new pose. He was curled in fetal position, eyes open, dimly green, mouth agape like a silent scream.

Her ears started ringing, a constant buzz like the sound of the code blue alarm. Someone was screaming, faint at first, as if they were down the hall, then louder, building in volume until they were right next to her, howling in her ear.

"Sam!" They screamed over and over. "Sam!"


	38. Chapter 38

**Thanks to everyone for reading and commenting and favoriting. I really appreciate the support. **

**LOL to my guest reviewer that is judging me for keeping Sam out of it...he's still the main part of this story...the center of it all. I just wanted you to miss him as much as Mercedes and the rest of the characters to do. I wanted you to feel their pain and get to the brink where you can't take it anymore and you NEED Sam to open his eyes. Are you there yet?**

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><p><strong>Chapter 38<strong>

Howling and crying, anguished whimpers tormenting her senses. Brushing by her, raised voices, urgently barking commands. Flipping him to his back, uncoiling his limbs. Close his eyes, he doesn't need to see the light. Shield him from it, make him stay here with the buzzing and the screams.

"This man has a DNR," someone said in the distance. "Stop defibrillation." Her heart constricted as a silence fell over the room. Shaking uncontrollably, sobs replaced the screams, loud and horrible tearful sobs.

"Mercedes you've got to calm down you're scaring the baby." Beth cried in her arms, her face pink and soaked with tears. She just looked at the baby unable to understand how to comfort her, to stop her tears. She glanced over at Sam on the bed out of the corner of her eyes, surrounded by doctors, now on his back, the thin green line on his monitor, howling his pain. "Mercedes look at me." Someone grabbed her by the chin, and forced her face to move. It was her father and suddenly it all came back.

"You have to save him," she choked out through her sobs.

"He has a DNR. There's nothing I can do."

"Not anymore. I made sure of it."

"What are you talking about?" Julian asked.

"There's no DNR you have to save him. Please."

"Mercedes it is on his record."

"He was just waking up. Beth and I were giving him kisses and he was responding."

"I think it may have been his body shutting down."

"No!" she yelled backing away from him, trying to remove herself from the horror of his words. "Beth touched him and he moved."

"Mercedes you need to relax." He reached out toward her and she recoiled. She didn't need his comfort. She needed him to save her husband.

"He's almost back. You've got to help him." She was becoming hysterical, as Julian just stood there. Why wasn't her father moving? She looked over at Sam, his eyes were still open, looking upward, staring into the light. "Daddy!" she screamed. "Please don't let me lose him."

"Get my daughter out of here." She felt herself being pushed out of the door, Beth being lifted from her arms. "Beiste can you make sure she is okay?" Arms were surrounding her, hands on her head.

"What's going on in there? What's happening to my son?"

Her mind snapped back to him, curled on the bed. Sam was dead. And she was running, her name breezing by her ears, concerned voices, but she didn't stop. Away from the howls, from his vacant green eyes, she increased her pace trying to drown out the screams loudly echoing in her head. Her dinner rising in her throat, burning, tears hot on her face, she was choking, sputtering, but still she didn't stop. Through the doors, pushing them with her arms, heart pounding, legs aching, overcome with tears, then she fell to her knees. Silent as she stared up at the blues and greens of the glass, a large cross displayed before her, burnished in gold, braced in black.

It had been a long time since Mercedes thought of God. She pretty much thought he had written her off, deemed her not worth his time, so she had done the same, shutting out reference or belief in a higher power. The last time she had prayed she had been thirteen. Eyes clenched shut, hands clasped, shivering as she felt the bed dip under his weight. She had begged God that night to show his power, to save her from the evil. Evil with a knife and jagged teeth, smiling with every bruise and cut he inflicted. Her mom must have been getting paid a lot of money, since he ensured the full value, dollar by dollar, taking bits of her flesh long after he was done using her body. Mercedes had no bargaining chip, no collateral to offer, but that night she made deal after deal with God, promising to be a better student, to stop lying, if he would just make the man go away.

Ultimately she had been ignored, and from then on Mercedes knew that God didn't waste time on the broken and the dirty. The only power she could rely on was her own. But Sam was different. God couldn't ignore a man like him. He could be loving and kind, but also so fearless and brave, he had so much to give. His life was worth fifty of hers. So she remained on her knees, staring up at the cross, clasped her hands, praying that God would listen to her, just this once. She had only one chip to bargain.

"Take me," she said, tentatively at first, her voice hoarse and hollow in the empty room. She closed her eyes and raised her voice. "Take me instead of him." Her voice echoing against the walls, bouncing off the stained glass.

"Mercedes no!" She turned to the voice behind her. Beiste in tears walking down the aisle. She bent down next to her, taking her into her arms. "You mustn't say such things," she soothed.

"I waited too long. Should've offered myself sooner." The tears wouldn't stop, a steady flow blurring her vision.

"Mercedes hush." Beiste helped Mercedes off her knees and led her to a wooden pew. "I won't have you talking like that."

"Why not Beiste?" she sniffled. "It's true. If I had switched places with him months ago, Beth would have her daddy and maybe Quinn wouldn't have gotten sick. Things would've been better." She had gotten in the way. If Sam hadn't tried to save her that night, shielding her with his body, none of this would be happening. She would've been the one in a coma or dead. He could've been living the happy life he deserved.

"You don't know that. Everything happens according to God's plan. We just have to trust it."

"God planned for Sam to be stuck in a bed for months not knowing his own child, missing out on life…" She paused, unable to say the words easily. "Dying at twenty-eight years old?"

"Sometimes it is hard for us to understand the reasons why." Beiste didn't understand. How could she? God loved people like her.

"I can think of a few. God is hateful and mean," Mercedes said bitterly remembering all her unanswered prayers from her childhood.

"Mercedes!"

"God only gives miracles to the chosen few. He doesn't hear the cries of meaningless little black girls when they're scared and abused."

Beiste took Mercedes's face in her hands. "God hasn't forgotten you. He brought you to me. He brought you to Sam."

Mercedes stood up, pointing to the gold cross on the altar. "But he's taking him away. We haven't had any time, Beiste. It's not fair."

"You're right, it isn't fair. I'm angry and hurt and so sad for you both." Beiste wiped the tears from her own eyes with her fingers. "But I trust in my faith and I believe God has a greater purpose. There was a reason you were spared."

"Like what?"

Mercedes couldn't think of a single reason why Sam deserved this more than her. She was the one that had done so many unspeakable things. She was the reason he was in the coma in the first place. She deserved to be punished, not him.

"Maybe it was meant for you to be here for Beth. To take care of her while her parents can't."

"I want Beth to have her father."

Beth didn't need her. What did she know about raising babies or creating a happy home? She was raised by a sick freak that only pretended to love her to get her to help her pay the bills.

"I know sweetheart, but we don't always get what we want. Sometimes we only get what we need, and Beth needs you."

"What about Sam? I can't lose him Beiste. I won't let him die."

She imagined Sam in her mind, smiling down at her, the way he used to. He seemed so real, as if she could reach out and touch him. For a moment it was like it never happened. Sam was holding her in his arms, stroking her hair. She pressed her cheek against his shoulder and let herself melt into him.

"It's not up to you," said Beiste hugging her.

Over Beiste's shoulder she saw him approach. Dwight walking faster than usual, his face an overcast pale gray, his hands clenched in tight balls at his sides. He gripped the back of the wooden pew, knuckles whitening as he sat in the seat behind them. He couldn't meet her eyes.

"Oh no! Sam's dead. He's gone isn't he?" Mercedes asked in alarm, fresh tears following the tracks of the ones that just dried.

He shook his head, but didn't speak. "Julian brought him back. He's still with us," he finally said. Mercedes turned and looked at the cross, thinking maybe God was listening after all.

"So he's okay?" she asked standing up. "I need to go be with him." She stepped into the aisle, and headed toward the door.

"No, he's not okay." Mercedes stopped at Dwight's words, a lump forming in her throat. "I watched them work on him for over fifteen minutes."

"They couldn't revive him?" asked Beiste.

"They'd bring him back, then he'd crash again, and then they'd bring him back. I wanted to smash that monitor with my bare hands. That damned line kept coming back." Dwight held onto the back of the pew so hard she thought his fingers might bleed from the pressure.

"Dwight your language! This is a chapel," scolded Beiste

"I don't care Shannon! My son is dying and there's nothing I can do. Every time they shocked him back, I prayed for it to end. I couldn't stand the thought of what he must be going through." He grabbed Mercedes by her arm. "Mercedes we can't keep doing this to him. We have to let him go."

She shook herself free of him, wrapping her arms about herself. "He's fine now. He's back."

"Julian said this would probably keep happening. His body's getting weaker."

She shook her head, not wanting to hear anymore, but she knew what Dwight was saying was the truth. The body couldn't last this long in a coma without breaking down. He would either go into a persistent vegetative state or he would die. As time went on there were less and less options for his recovery. Less reasons to hope.

"We need to give him just a little more time."

More time. She had been asking for it for months now. When would the time ever come? How much more could she wait for him to get well? She suddenly felt so alone in this battle. It was his body, but he didn't seem to want to help her. He didn't want to get up and help her prove to everyone that she wasn't crazy to believe he would be coming back to them all.

"He doesn't want to live like this. You know about his will." Dwight persisted.

"There is no will. I destroyed it. I'm willing to fight you for however long it takes in court if it comes to that."

She wanted to scream at Dwight, tell him to go to hell. He would have to kill her before she would let him pull the plug on Sam. But she didn't. Something deep inside stopped her, a feeling that it would be somehow wrong to stand in way of what Sam wanted. Mercedes tried to push those thoughts down, to only focus on keeping Sam alive, but they always slowly rose to the surface, reminding her that her actions were betrayal.

"Just because you got rid of the paper doesn't change what you know in your heart. You know he wants us to let him go. You know it." Mercedes watched Beiste rub Dwight's hand in comfort and jealous thoughts coursed through her body. They got to lean on each other, spend days and nights in each other's company and she had no one.

"Sam has so much to live for. He loved his life."

Sam had left her with a heart full of empty promises and the ghosts of a life unlived. He left her hovering between being in love and being alone. Her heart was broken so completely. She was in love with a man that was halfway gone.

Tears filled his eyes, a pained look on his face. "Sam loved his family, loved D&E, loved you, but how he is right now, that's not living."

Mercedes couldn't argue anymore. She knew he was right. Sam loved life. He was active and passionate. He took risks and he thrived on challenges. Being stuck in a bed must be like hell for him.

"I don't know how to let him go," she cried as she leaned into Beiste's outstretched arms.

"He'll always be with you," said Beiste as she gently stroked Mercedes' back. "In your heart, in your memories. You've got to cherish it all."

"I've been so selfish Beiste," she said sitting up and wiping the tears from her face with the hem of her black sweater. "I didn't want to be alone. I was only thinking about him coming back to me so I'd feel better. I wasn't thinking about what it must be like for him."

"You love him. Nothing wrong with wanting him well again."

"I'm not ready to give up." Mercedes remembered Sam reacting to Beth. It couldn't have just been his body shutting down like her father said. Sam was struggling to find his way back to them. "I still think he's coming back."

"If God has a miracle for Sam, he will get it. But we have to prepare ourselves to help Sam find peace." Beiste brushed the hair out of Mercedes's face, giving her a small tearful smile. "You want him at peace don't you?"

"If something like this happens again. If he…if he's…if he has a crisis." She stumbled over the words not wanting to voice the unthinkable. "I will respect his wishes. But I'm not going to take him off life support or remove his feeding tube either."

"Mercedes, it's what he wants." Dwight was stubborn, but he had met his match with her. She loved Sam too much to let his father give up on him just yet.

"Sam made a promise to me the night of the accident and I'm going to give him every chance to keep it. But if he can't, if his body is too tired, we'll let him go."

"Okay," agreed Dwight.

"I need to be with him now," Mercedes said standing up, smoothing her hair. "Where's Beth?"

"I took her to the nursery," stated Beiste. "She's in her special little crib there."

"That baby has spent more time in a hospital than most people do their whole lives," said Mercedes sadly.

"Maybe she'll grow up to be a doctor. Something is bound to rub off on her in here," suggested Beiste.

It hit her unexpectedly. She knew what she needed to do. "Dwight I need you to do me a favor."

"I don't do favors," he said gruffly.

"Please I need your help." Mercedes pleaded.

"What is it?"

"I need you to let Quinn see Beth before she goes upstate."

"No way," he said shaking his head. "I don't want that loon anywhere near my granddaughter." Beiste shot him a look of disapproval.

"Beth is losing so much. Her mom is going away, and she almost lost her dad tonight." Mercedes' heart ached for Beth. Her little world was crumbling around her and she didn't know it. No child should have to endure this much. She wasn't even a year old and she was practically an orphan.

"Even if I wanted to, I can't make that happen. Child Protective Services is very serious about their rules. My reach doesn't extend that far." She had no doubts that Dwight would come through for Beth. He watched his son almost die tonight and that had broken something in him. Mercedes could see the change in his eyes. Dwight wasn't going to deny his granddaughter a short visit with her mother. Not tonight.

"You get her to the hospital, I'll do the rest."

There wasn't much Mercedes could do to change things for Beth. Quinn had to face the law and Sam was in a place beyond her reach. But if only for a fleeting moment Beth could feel the warmth of being in her mother's arms again, maybe it would be enough to get her through all of this. She didn't know how much babies understood, and the science of how memories were made eluded her, but if there was any chance that Beth could recapture a piece of the natural bond with her mother, Mercedes was going to take it. She may have her problems with Quinn, but Mercedes' love for that sweet baby girl trumped all of that.

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><p><strong>Hold tight...<strong>


	39. Chapter 39

Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I really appreciate you all so much.

**MissE** - thank you for such a wonderful review. I love hearing your thoughts. I'm sorry I can't respond to you directly. And you are right, a lot of this is already written.

**Crazybychoice** - Thank you so much for all your compliments and encouragement.

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><p><strong>Chapter 39<strong>

Julian had come in late last night harassing her about a cot. She had compromised, agreeing to accept a pillow and a blanket so she could sleep at the opposite end of the bed. It had been a long night, most of which, Mercedes had spent just watching Sam breathe. Such a simple act had come to mean so much in the past months. Every breath that Sam took was precious now. Stretched out beside him, her body pressed against his side, gently stroking his hair, as the first rays of sunlight filtered into the room. She wondered how their lives got so twisted. It seemed like just yesterday that being with him was her one true source of happiness, now all she wanted to do was cry whenever she looked at his face. His beautiful, unchanging face, her sweet Sam stuck in his perpetual slumber, trapped behind a mask of blankness Was he even still in there? Or had his essence already floated up to heaven?

She looked over at Beth, still sleeping silently on her back in the crib. In the early hours of the morning, she had called an aide to have Beth brought to her. They rolled her little crib into the room, so she could sleep near them. Mercedes had an overwhelming need to have her close. Also she wanted them both together, father and daughter, maybe Sam would sense Beth's presence and respond in some way. He had before.

An apprehension had been building within her ever since she had watched Sam almost die last night. Everything seemed more tenuous now, like if she didn't watch things closely, it all would change, for the worse. Sleep had been impossible for Mercedes being in the room with two of the most important people in her life. She flitted between worrying about Sam and checking on Beth. Dwight was right, they were a handful. Mercedes hoped she would have years of their combined mischief to look forward to, father and daughter with a tight bond forged with love and laughter, now she just wanted them to have another minute together, another hour. The future seemed less far off now, while Sam's life was hanging by a thread. Tomorrow was for other people, the lucky ones that had hope to rely on. All Mercedes had left was the painful task of waiting for a final moment to arrive. Only a miracle could save them now.

She thought about the first day she had ever seen Sam, gorgeous in his suit, sitting alone at BreadStix. She had been desperate to get away from her "date", and going to a stranger was always a risk, especially a stranger like him, who clearly had money and status in the community, but something drew Mercedes toward him, her feet being led by some invisible tether and before she knew it, she was talking to him. Her life never was the same after that. Mercedes had always kept men at a careful distance, partly out of fear, partly because a good con never got too close. Sam had been different, she had wanted to get closer to him after their very first conversation, something about him pulled her toward him. She shared parts of herself with him, things she had never revealed to anyone before, so easily. It was like she knew him already. He felt comfortable, which in turn made him seem safe. But Sam was never safe, he had managed to hurt her in ways far worse than any of the men in her past ever had.

Getting close and opening herself up to him, left her vulnerable to his attack, to his ability to cut her to her core each time he turned away from her in disgust or anger or indifference. It killed her that he didn't want her, that he saw her as nothing more than a child, a little sister. And when he finally came around, saw the light, Mercedes thought it would be nothing but smooth sailing after that. She was so wrong. Loving Sam Evans, being a part of his life was more dangerous than any other situation she had ever encountered, because she had given him her heart. And once someone had that, they had you. Sam had her now, heart, body and soul. She looked down at him lying quietly still in the bed. He was performing his last act of treachery, he was going to take her heart with him to his grave. Mercedes didn't know what would be left of her after he had gone. She could only imagine a sad shell of her former self, a piece of her absent and detached from the world. She didn't think she would ever recover from this.

Maybe she should have been angry with him for putting her through all of this pain. But she wasn't. How could she be? Every time he smiled at her, her heart raced, he had made her feel so alive for the first time. He had made her finally be able to share herself, to see sex as more than a curse to be endured. He had made her feel important, special, like she mattered. He had loved her completely and she knew it as surely as she knew anything. He had been hers for a time, painfully, beautifully, amazingly hers.

She wanted to kiss him, like the first time, when she thought she was playing him but really he had been playing her, because when his lips met hers she felt it, to her toes, and it threw her. In a way it had been her first kiss, of course not really, she had kissed more men than she ever cared to remember, but with Sam it had been the first kiss that made her want more, to do it again. He had given her lots of firsts. She had been the girl that had done everything, seen everything, but Sam had been the one that made her life feel brand new. Hope for better was in that kiss. It didn't matter that it was just a game at first, her playing every card to get him to want her, or that he loved another girl, she had something to hold onto now because of him. She had a reason to want beyond just finding her next meal ticket or next payout. He made her want more, made her want to be more, for the first time. All for the possibility of his love.

She had to work for it, wait for it, fight for it, but in the end he was there too. Nothing had ever come easily for Mercedes, so she didn't expect landing Sam would be any different. And he didn't cut her any breaks, he was dragged kicking and screaming into her arms. But once he landed there, and settled, they both knew. It was all worth it.

Mercedes got up, stretching her arms above her head, trying to ease the tightness in her back. Taking one last look at Beth in the crib, then back at Sam, she grabbed her phone from the table by the bed, before stepping out of the room into the brightly lit waiting area of the hospital. The hospital was already bustling with activity. Aides getting ready to serve patient breakfasts, nurses preparing morning meds, Mercedes felt a slight pang of guilt as she watched from the sidelines. She should be among them helping. Her job at the hospital had definitely suffered since Sam became ill, he was her main focus. The staff knew that and accepted it, but it still didn't make Mercedes feel any better about her lack of time for other patients. One day she would repay them all for their patience and understanding.

Julian Jones came strolling around the corner wearing scrubs on top and jeans, a smile spreading on his bearded face as he saw Mercedes standing there. He made his way over to her, immediately pulling her into a hug when he was in arm's reach. Mercedes didn't realize how much she had needed that hug until she felt his arms around her. For a moment she put all of her weight on him, letting her father hold her up for a while. Julian took Mercedes by the hand and led her to a nearby chair sitting her down, and then took the seat beside her.

"Dad what are you doing here so early?"

"I never left," said Julian patting Mercedes' knee. "Wanted to be close, just in case."

"Just in case Sam…" Mercedes instinctively looked toward Sam's door replaying the horrors of the previous night in her head.

"Nope, just in case you needed me. How's he doing?"

"The same. Still breathing." She struggled to smile, but couldn't quite do it.

"Mercedes, I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this." Julian hugged her again, rubbing her back in comfort.

"I'm not really going through anything." She shrugged pulling away. "Sam's the one clinging to life."

"Don't minimize your pain. It's happening to you too."

"I'm fine."

"Sometimes I look at you in awe," he said resting his elbow on the armrest between them, chin in his palm, just looking at her. "I can't believe you're my daughter. You're nothing like me."

Mercedes' stomach dropped, his words hitting her hard. "All those years with mom messed me up pretty bad, ruined me."

He sat up in surprise. "Ruined? There's nothing wrong with you. I meant you're nothing like me because you're so strong, and brave. You're loyal and dependable."

"Me?" She couldn't believe he thought those things about her. She was such a complete mess.

"Yes you. I'm years older than you and I'll never be half as good a person as you. I have watched you here with Sam for months, facing obstacle after obstacle, head on, without complaint, just with love. Mercedes you're honoring your vows in the best way."

She looked down smiling softly. "That's just what marriage is about, for better or worse."

"I know you see it as such a little thing. The way you are handling things here, you make me so proud, and you inspire me. You stick things out, see them through. I cut and run," he admitted.

"Dad that's not true. You're here for your patients, here for me."

"But I couldn't be here for Quinn." Julian squirmed in his seat, looking over at the nurses' station.

"Don't be so hard on yourself." Mercedes placed her hand on his arm to get him to look at her. "She hurt you guys."

"Sam hurt you too and yet you're still here by his side."

"It's different," she said shaking her head.

"A while back you asked me if I would feel differently if someone I loved had been the one injured. Would I have stood by her?" He sat back in his chair. "I've been thinking about that a lot lately."

"What did you come up with?"

"I don't think I could do it. I think I still would've walked away."

Mercedes' brown eyes widened in surprise. "No, I don't believe that. When someone you love is hurt, everything changes. It gives you perspective, makes you take stock in what's real."

"That only works if what you have is real in the first place." She could hear the pain in his voice. There were tears glistening in his eyes. It was evident this was hard for him to discuss.

"What are you talking about? Is this about you and my mom? You were so young when you guys were together."

"Yes we were young. I was in med school in L.A. when I met her. She was trying to be an actress, and waiting tables to pay the bills. It was like a whirlwind you know? We fell in love so fast."

"Dad what happened between you and mom? Why didn't you stay together?" she asked cautiously not wanting to upset him more than he already seemed to be.

Julian sighed. "At first Keisha was this light in my life. She smiled at me and it was like I understood the meaning of the universe." His face brightened into a smile for a moment then it quickly faded as he continued. "Then I got busy with school, she wasn't booking any jobs, and I guess the city lured her in. Drinking, drugs, men, men with far more money than me. I came home one day to find her packing. She told me she was leaving me for a man that could keep her in the lifestyle she deserved." Julian squeezed the bridge of his nose. "I begged her to stay. I literally got on my knees and begged, and she laughed. This woman I thought was the love of my life was laughing at my pain. After that everything changed for me. I shut down, I wouldn't allow myself to feel. I ran away from it all, floating from place to place, never willing to stay put long enough to make ties. It's the ties that kill you."

"You have ties now. Puck is like your son, and Quinn, she's like family too right?"

"Having Puck and you in my life have been the best things to ever happen to me. You've given me a sense of purpose outside my work. I lost so much when your mother left me, but I think I gained it back when you came into my life."

"That's how Sam is for me. He fills this part of me that was always so empty." Mercedes smiled slowly thinking of all the ways her life had changed since meeting Sam.

"I never liked that you married him, you know," he stated glancing over at her.

"I could tell," she acknowledged with a nod. "You were sort of openly team Shane."

"I just didn't think Sam was the right man. Not saying he's a bad person. He's not. Sam and I have had our difficulties over the years, but he has some qualities I really admire. He is tenacious, smart, brave."

"But…"

"He would've made a good surfer." He smiled slightly leaning his elbow back on the armrest.

"Kind of hard living in the Midwest." She let out a quiet chuckle.

"I just mean he has the right temperament. Unlike me," he added softly.

"You love surfing." Her dad had taken up the sport when he moved to California and had been passionate about it ever since, basing his vacations around the best waves.

"I do," he affirmed nodding his head. "But I'm not a great surfer. To truly master the waves you have to be willing to face down even the largest wave without fear. I don't do that. I wait for the ones I know I can handle."

"I don't get it." She shook her head in confusion. "You do all sort of risky things in surgery."

"In the operating room is the only place I am willing to take risks. The rest of my life, I'm cautious and guarded. Sam is not like that."

"Sam has had times he was pretty emotionally guarded too."

"Perhaps, but when Sam truly wants something he goes after it full throttle. No fear, relentless pursuit, the way a great surfer attacks a killer wave. It's an awesome thing to watch. The problem is when you live your life that way. You tend to crash and burn and take others down with you. I didn't want to see you going down with him."

Mercedes leaned back and sighed, as she stared up at the fluorescent lights in the ceiling. "I've come to realize love and pain go hand in hand. You can't really love someone without risking being hurt."

"I agree. That's why I kept running. It wasn't worth the risk."

"Sometimes you can fight back against the pain, come out on the other side, get back to the love. Sam and I had to do that after he found out about Shane. I had to do it again after the accident so I could forgive him. It wasn't easy, but I think it's worth it. I'd much rather look at him in love than in hate and anger. Though it's hard fighting for something all on my own. I don't even know if he would feel the same way about things now." She stared down at her wedding rings, fingering them lightly.

Julian sucked in his lower lip, pausing as if he were thinking up what he would say next. "After it came out, what happened with Sam and Quinn, Sam came to see me. To apologize, explain, or something. I was furious. I didn't want to listen. I pushed him out the door, before I lost control and hit him."

The corners of Mercedes's mouth dropped. "You never told me about this."

"I didn't want you to know."

"Why?" she asked looking at him in disbelief. She had never known her father to keep things from her.

"I didn't want you to give him an inch. I didn't want you to take him back."

"And you think knowing he apologized to you would make me do that? I was so angry back then, I doubt it would've changed much."

"It wasn't the apology. It was what he said outside the door. I had slammed the door in his face and he continued to talk on the other side. He told me how much he loved you, how you had changed his life. How he knew that you guys could work through it."

"That sounds like him during that time. He said the same to me."

"He said he regretted the pain he caused. That he wished he had stopped and thought things through. I was starting to zone him out by that point. You know same old song. I remember yelling at him to shut the hell up or I would call the police, but he kept going. He said he knew he wasn't good enough for you, but that you loved him anyway. And that he knew you might never take him back, and he'd have to live with that, but just being with you for even a short time had been worth it. Everything made sense when he was with you. Then he finally said, he may have to let you go, but he knew he'd never lose you, because you were connected and a part of each other. So after that I pushed you into divorcing him. I encouraged you to move on."

"Because of what he said? I don't understand." She felt confused, like she was completely missing the point of what he was trying to say.

"Love like that doesn't die. And I knew the more you were around him the greater the chance you would forgive him. I didn't want you sucked back in."

"How could you know if I felt the same, if I shared his feelings about our relationship?"

She was on the brink of tears and she didn't know why. It felt like she had missed something important. So many thoughts raced through her mind. Maybe if her father had told her what Sam said she would have forgiven him and he wouldn't have gotten drunk that night and then none of this would've happened. She felt herself becoming bitter and angry thinking about what might have been. Then the feeling passed as quickly as it came. They couldn't go back and change things, and there was no point trying to decipher what her actions would have been almost a year ago. Life had changed, she had changed.

"Baby girl, we may not have known each other that long, especially not as father and daughter, but even I could see it."

"See what?" she asked tentatively holding her breath as she awaited his response.

"The light. The light you got in your eyes whenever you talked about him, looked at him. Now Sam could have just been spewing lines through my door that day, trying to make it sound good. I didn't trust him, but I knew you would. You loved him too much not to."

"But I was going to divorce him. I signed the papers." She closed her eyes in pain. She had let Sam go. Julian saw it all wrong. If she had really loved him that much how could she have so quickly decided to divorce him?

"And you drove him home that night from the Scandals."

"I couldn't let him get behind the wheel," she quickly explained. She would have done the same for anyone.

"You had taken his keys. You had performed your community service, but you couldn't let it go there."

"What if he had gotten hurt walking on the highway or passed out somewhere?" Tears filled her eyes as she remembered that terrible night. Sam staggering along the side of the road, and then later Sam bloody and still.

Julian smiled at her faintly, shaking his head. "I knew Quinn had PPD. I knew it was bad and I still turned her and Beth out of our home. I couldn't bear to look at her. I selfishly protected my feelings and Puck's instead of looking out for her. Love, real love, is not selfish. The way you still love Sam after everything that has happened, that is not selfish. That is real love. The kind we all want. The stuff songs are written about."

"The kind of love I used to have with Puck," said Quinn as she walked up on them in the waiting area, dressed in a plum hooded jacket and jeans, her long blonde hair pulled back into a low ponytail. Will had her loosely by the arm, trying to inconspicuously keep a handle on her, but also not making it obvious she was a prisoner.

"Quinn?" asked Julian turning to look at her. "What are you doing here?"

"She came to see me before she goes upstate," stated Mercedes looking back and forth between them. She wondered just how much Quinn had heard before making her presence known.

"You're leaving today?" asked Julian his voice shaking slightly.

"Yes in a little while. Time to face the music as they say." Quinn gave him a small smile.

"I'm sorry. I never wanted you to have to…" His voice trailed off as he bowed his head.

"I know," Quinn interrupted softly."I don't think any of us wanted any of this." Mercedes watched as Quinn and Julian stared at each other, an awkward silence fell over the group. Mercedes signaled to Will with her eyes for help.

Will cleared his throat. "We don't have much time."

Seeming to remember where he was, Julian rose to leave. "Don't let me keep you. Talk to you later sweetheart," he said turning to Mercedes.

"Julian wait," said Quinn stopping him. She reached out to touch him but stopped midway, letting her arm fall helplessly back to her side. "Just because it didn't last doesn't mean it wasn't real. Right? What me and Puck had was special even though we didn't work out, don't you think?"

"That's something you'll have to talk to Puck about. But from what I could see, you two were the real deal, for a time," offered Julian.

"Right. It just couldn't last. He doesn't see me like that anymore. I'm back to being just a friend." Quinn was tearing up and Mercedes felt the urge to cry with her. She had wanted Puck to be happy even if it led him to be with Quinn. It was as if she were witnessing a dream being crushed right before her eyes. Mercedes knew she should look away, but she couldn't. The intensity of their emotions was compelling.

"At least you have that Quinn, hold onto it, friendships are scared and so is family. I wish things…" he started turning his back to her.

"Me too," Quinn added quietly.

Julian ran his hands over his face and let out a heavy sigh. "I better get to my rounds. You take care of yourself Quinn." Mercedes watched her father sadly smile at Quinn over his shoulder before quickly taking off down the hall.

"What did you want to see me about Mercedes?" asked Quinn wiping the tears from her eyes.

"I've got a little going away present for you." Mercedes broke into a smile just thinking about what this moment would mean to Beth.

"Let me guess, you managed to have me transferred to a hospital two states away?" she asked wryly.

"I'm not your enemy Quinn. I can't stand the things you've done, but I don't hate you." She figured Quinn would think the worse. She would've too if the roles were reversed.

"I hope not," Quinn said almost under her breath.

"Just come here," said Mercedes grabbing Quinn by the arm. "I have something to show you."

* * *

><p>This is not where she expected to end up. After being removed from her cell a few hours prior, a pile of clothes and a towel shoved into her arms, she was pushed into a communal washroom. Tepid water was her only option, as she let it run all over her body, letting it shock her slowly into wake. She had spent the night sleeping on her feet, head against the bars, leaning into the corner, There was no way she was going to get on that dingy cot. At first she had thought she wouldn't sleep at all, so much was about to happen, it just seemed like her mind was too busy to rest. But it had. And she escaped in her dreams, happy visions of her with Beth.<p>

Will had been waiting for her outside the washroom door. He quietly led her by the arm up the stairs, through a side door, out into the cold. Quinn had expected to be thrown in the back of a police wagon or at least flanked by uniformed officers when she was transported upstate. Instead she was led to Will's Range Rover. It was a trip made in silence, a somber aura cast over the car, she felt like she was heading to the gallows. Will said few words the entire trip. And when Quinn looked at him questioningly as they passed the exit for the interstate, his only response was they needed to first make a pit stop.

The same confused sinking feeling returned to her as she let Mercedes drag her through the doors of Sam's hospital room. The room was almost dark, except for the sharp slices of sunlight escaping through the slats in the blinds. The light seemed to solely fall on Sam in his bed, illuminating him with an eerie glow. Quinn had to look away. She didn't like the feeling it gave her to see him highlighted in that way. It reminded her of those images of the resurrection on display at the rectory. She stepped in front of Mercedes, turning her back on Sam.

"So what do you want to show me Mercedes?" asked Quinn as she eyed the younger woman suspiciously.

It wasn't like Mercedes to want to do anything for her. Mercedes looked nervous, staring down at her pink socked feet, shifting her weight from one leg to the other. She was in her pajamas, pink and yellow dotted bottoms, and a bright yellow fitted tee shirt that hugged her midsection and accentuated her rounded belly. Not that Quinn was surprised to find Mercedes in that state of dress. She knew that Mercedes had often slept in the hospital to stay closer to Sam.

"Are you okay? I mean with what happened with you and Julian out there?"

Quinn exhaled sharply. She had managed to let Julian slip from her mind for a few minutes, now Mercedes' question made it all come rushing back. "Some things needed to be said."

"I don't know how much you heard before…"

"Enough," said Quinn cutting her off. "He wasn't saying anything I didn't already know anyway."

"I don't think he meant that stuff Quinn. He was just," she paused running her fingers through her ponytail uncomfortably. "Talking."

"That's the nature of letting go I think. We all struggle to find the reasons why, to give our failures meaning. I should be expert by now." Quinn smiled sadly. "I've been through so many break ups. Relationships or family, it still feels the same when you lose it."

"So how do you do it? Let go, I mean." Quinn watched Mercedes' eyes glance furtively toward the bed.

"For me it just sort of happens. One minute you're begging and pleading for another chance, then suddenly you're not. You wake up one day and realize there's nothing left to fight for."

"I doubt that would work in my case. I hate to lose, so I tend to never stop fighting."

"I've noticed that about you. Reminds me of Sam."

Mercedes looked up in surprise. "Really?"

"Yep. Sam never stops fighting until he is forced to. Even then he still always keeps that small morsel of hope. Probably why he's so good at his job. He never gives up till the deal goes his way."

"Yeah. I can see that about him. I actually admire it. The problem is this time he's fighting me and I don't think he's going to stop until he gets what he wants."

"And what do you think he wants?" asked Quinn softly, her voice cracking, her mouth suddenly feeling dry.

"He wants me to let him go." Quinn could see the tears shining in Mercedes' eyes and for a brief moment she wished she were closer to the girl, a friend, so she could hug her. She looked so small and alone, drowning in her cresting tears.

"Why did you want me here this morning?"

"Just look," said Mercedes leading Quinn closer to the crib in the center of the room. Quinn hadn't noticed the crib before, too focused on Sam aglow in his bed.

Quinn peered into the small metal crib. "Oh Beth," she said her face instantly brightening. "She's sleeping," she whispered glancing over at Mercedes briefly before turning her attention back to the baby.

"Yeah," Mercedes smiled, looking down at the baby too. "She needs to get up soon, breakfast time. She's a little off schedule." Mercedes reached into the crib and rubbed Beth's stomach.

"I don't understand why she's here. Is she sick?" asked Quinn a bit concerned.

"No she's fine," Mercedes assured her. "I just thought you might want to see her."

Mercedes scooped Beth up into her arms, holding the baby close to her chest. Quinn's heart constricted as she watched Beth snuggle in closer to Mercedes, before opening her eyes and looking up at her, a smile spreading across her little face.

"She's smiling." Quinn moved closer to them, wanting to reach out and touch her baby, then stopped herself remembering she didn't have the right anymore.

Mercedes rocked Beth gently in her arms, letting her ease into wake. She spoke to the baby in soft mellow tones, smiling down at her. "Do you want to hold her?" asked Mercedes in soft melodic voice.

"Oh. Wow. Yes, of course," responded Quinn her heart lifting. Mercedes placed Beth carefully in Quinn's arms. The baby squirmed in her new position, her face scrunching, as she started to whine. A momentary panic seized Quinn as Beth fidgeted in her arms. What if she were hurting her in some way right now? "Maybe you should just take him Mercedes. She obviously wants you."

"No, I think she's just a little hungry. I have a bottle warming for her. I'm going to get it."

Quinn struggled to remember what to do, how to comfort her. It seemed like so long since she had been allowed to be the one to take care of her. She felt inadequate, like she was doing everything wrong. Quinn had thought motherhood was partially instinctual, but right now she felt a disconnect from the little girl in her arms. Beth must have felt it too as she continued to fuss and wiggle.

Mercedes came back over to them, placing her hand on Beth's head, rubbing her hair gently. She handed Quinn a bottle. "It's okay Beth. It's your mommy. She's going to have breakfast with you." Mercedes cooed. Beth settled down at the sound of Mercedes's voice, looking up at her.

"I don't think she knows who I am Mercedes. She's probably forgotten me."

"She knows. I'll never let her forget." Quinn looked up at Mercedes in surprise. She didn't know what to make of that statement. Here she had been thinking that Mercedes was trying to replace her in Beth's life, but now Mercedes was saying otherwise.

"Why are you doing this Mercedes?" asked Quinn as she rocked Beth in her arms. "I know you're scared of me being around her."

"Sam died last night," said Mercedes biting down on her lower lip, a few tears sliding down her cheeks.

Quinn's gut twisted at her words. "What?"

"Julian brought him back, but he was gone Quinn. It was awful." Quinn watched Mercedes as she walked over to Sam, and sat beside him on the bed. She brushed the hair away from his face with her fingers.

"Is he okay now?" asked Quinn as she slowly approached the bed.

"Okay?" Mercedes shook her head and cried, unhidden, as if she didn't have the energy to fight her emotions any longer. "His body will get weaker and weaker until it just shuts down."

Quinn took a seat in the chair by the bed, looking down at Beth. The baby had quieted down in Quinn's arms, she now was staring up at her with his big green eyes. "Are you saying he's going to die?"

"I don't…I can't." Mercedes shook her head, unable to formulate a coherent sentence. She looked down at Sam's face sadly, taking a deep breath. "You know just everything that happened last night made me see a few things clearly. Beth could lose her father."

"And I'm going away." Beth grabbed Quinn's finger as she made the statement, as if she understood the meaning of her words, and was trying in her small way to hold her there. She leaned over and kissed her head, inhaling her sweet baby scent, before holding her bottle to his lips.

"I just wanted her to have her family even if it was just for a little while."

Family had been this elusive dream for Quinn, like spotting a four leaf clover in a vast field. When she finally did get her family back, when her mom stopped sending her away, it felt a little too late, it was a let go dream that had since been replaced by others. Not that she didn't love her parents, despite all the pain they'd inflicted over the years she couldn't quite manage to turn her feelings off, especially not for her dad. But that tie that families had, probably created while a person was young and dependent, more open to love, that never really formed for Quinn. There had always felt like something was missing between them.

She had felt more connected to the men in her life, letting her lovers be her anchor in the world. When things were good, it almost worked, making her truly feel that chosen family was just as important, if not more so. Then things would go bad, and Quinn was left adrift, floundering to find her place again. Now she was about to doom Beth to the same fate. Floating through her existence without feeling like she truly belonged anywhere. She was leaving her just when they should be building their own tie.

"I don't know what to say. Thank you," said Quinn holding Mercedes' gaze, understanding the impact of what Mercedes wanted to do.

Beth sucked vigorously on Quinn's lap, making happy coos as she drank her formula. She hugged her just a little closer as she finally let herself look over at Sam. Her heart lurched. He looked pale and thin, different than when she had last seen him. Maybe it was the daylight. She usually visited him in the shadow of night, where things were easily altered to the eye. Stark light of day hid no secrets. Sam looked like he was slipping away.

"I can't leave you guys alone in here, but I'll just sit back there out of your way," announced Mercedes rising to her feet looking around awkwardly. "You two should visit with Sam. I think he'd like that."

They both went silent for a moment, the only sounds in the room were the soft beep of Sam's monitors and the gentle sucking of Beth in Quinn's lap.

"It's strange being here with you," said Quinn breaking the silence. "I go back and forth with how I feel about you."

Mercedes nodded. "I do the same."

"Believe it or not I do know you have Beth's best interest at heart." Quinn paused looking down at Beth grabbing her hand as she drank. "I just..."

"You just wish I wasn't the one taking care of her," she responded slowly meeting Quinn's eyes.

"Something like that."

Quinn shifted Beth up on her shoulder, patting her back softly. It had been so long since she fed her. A task she used to perform so often when she was a newborn, something she had come to dread, her constant need for attention had annoyed Quinn then. Now she cherished it. This time with her daughter, no matter how brief, getting the chance to be her mother, to act like a mother, meant the world to her.

"You better take this," said Mercedes offering Quinn a cloth diaper. "Beth has been known to stain many a shirt." Quinn took the diaper and smiled, putting it over her shoulder under Beth's face on her. Quinn watched Mercedes walk over to the window, peering through a slat in the blinds as she spoke. "I sometimes wish I wasn't the one taking care of her too. I want Sam to be here for her."

"Sam would be an amazing dad." The fact that Beth would probably never get to know her father was killing her.

Mercedes turned to face her, a sad smile on her face. "I think so too, a natural. I want him to get the chance."

"I pray for it Mercedes, everyday. I want Beth and Sam to have each other while I'm gone."

Quinn had never felt so helpless in her faith. Countless prayers provided her little solace when Sam remained unchanged for so long. She was beginning to wonder if God were truly listening. Even at her lowest, when she plunged into that cold river, she had felt God's love surrounding her. But where was he for Sam? It didn't seem possible that having a father leave his child was God's will.

"It's starting to feel like that's not going to happen. None of us are going to have Sam soon."

"I don't want to believe that. He's been a part of my life for so long." Quinn squeezed her eyes shut to keep the tears at bay. Sam at seventeen, bangs in his eyes, squinting up at the sun, with his crooked grin on display popped into her mind. "I can't let him go."

Mercedes's voice was so small, as she glanced over at Sam, folding her arms across her chest. "Me either."

"We had so many memories, good times over the years. He was my first love."

Suddenly all she could see was the look of horror on Sam's face back in high school when she told him about Puck. She could hear his voice breaking with tears as he professed his love and begged her not to go. Why didn't she just say the words back then? Just let him know that she loved him too, even though she had chosen Puck. He didn't deserve to doubt her feelings, despite everything else. Tears escaped past her lashes as she struggled to get her mind to focus on happier thoughts of Sam, like dancing, kisses under the stars, swimming at the lake.

"Mine too."

Quinn looked up in mild surprise. "I didn't realize."

Quinn watched Mercedes walk back over to the bed and take a seat beside Sam, leaning back on the pillows that propped Sam's head.

"What we had wasn't big or showy. Maybe he didn't love me the same as you or Rachel or Brittany. I didn't get all the grand romantic gestures or the tireless pursuits he had with you, and the others. But he came home every night and I fell asleep in his arms and we started each day together." She leaned over and kissed his forehead, slowly, lingering, almost reverent. Quinn had to look away feeling embarrassed to witness such an emotional display. "I guess it doesn't seem like much compared to what you guys had."

"Seems like a lot to me. You had what I've always wanted. You guys created a home. I'm so sorry that I had a hand in destroying that."

"I had a hand in destroying it too. I took it all for granted and now I'd give anything to get it back just for one more day," Mercedes said mournfully.

"Another day would be nice. One more sunset on the balcony." A smile formed on her lips as she remembered the last time she had seen Sam, all in black, his foot up on the rail, staring into her eyes.

"What balcony?" asked Mercedes.

"At the Beacon Hotel, when we stayed there. We would sit outside watching the sunset, crying in our beers." She looked over at Beth, leaning on her shoulder, playing in her hair, twisting it around her small hand.

"Oh when you lived together." Mercedes looked away dejectedly.

"It wasn't like that. I'm sorry I let you think...it wasn't right. I shouldn't have done that to Sam." She had been a bad friend. All Sam had wanted then was to convince Mercedes of his love and Quinn had shattered that in one malicious blow. Mercedes may have deserved to be knocked down a peg, but not like that, not at Sam's expense. "He truly loves you. He told me that. We're just friends Mercedes."

"Thank you for saying that," she said swiping at the steady flow of tears on her face. "And what I told you Sam said the night of the accident..."

"That he would give me up for you?"

"He didn't really mean it." Mercedes averted her gaze, fidgeting with her wedding rings. "Just one of those things you say in the heat of the moment."

"He meant it. I know Sam so well. When he's in love he'll do anything, say anything. Those grand romantic gestures."

"I'd never do that to him though. At least I'd like to think I wouldn't. I'd never let him walk away from someone he cared about for me. I never really had any friends and now that I finally do, I see how precious they are. I wouldn't take that from him. Even if I couldn't stand the friend."

"Thanks for saying that especially since you can't stand me." She chuckled as she perched Beth on her knee, facing her toward Sam and Mercedes on the bed.

"Sam didn't do all that big stuff for me anyway...those grand gestures."

"How can you say that?" asked Quinn feeling a little shocked. "He might have done the biggest thing of all for you. He risked his life for you."

"When he shielded me in the car."

"Yes."

Quinn knew Sam was a hero, he would've done that for anyone. From what Puck had told her about the accident, how Sam protected her afterwards, how his final thoughts were about Mercedes, it had seemed pretty grand to Quinn.

"I wish he hadn't. I didn't deserve it," Mercedes admitted sadly.

"I didn't deserve it either when he picked me up time and time again. But isn't it lucky he didn't feel the same? We should be glad he saw something worthwhile in us." She picked up Beth, turning her around, holding her close. She let herself imagine that some part of the hug was from Sam.

"Why are being so nice to me Quinn?"

"You gave me this amazing gift," she said kissing Beth's cheeks. "How can I not be nice?"

"Now you're making me feel bad for all the awful thoughts I've had about you," she sniffled.

"It's okay," Quinn said softly.

"No it's not. I know you're going through a lot. I know you're not all bad. I just have a hard time with you sometimes. It hurts. I feel like you stole something from me." She hesitated, a small sob interrupting the flow of her words as she continued. "I was supposed to be the one to have given Sam a baby, and now all of that is gone. And I can't wish what happened away, I'd never want Beth gone, I love her. But I just feel like you took away my chance at a family."

"I'm so sorry Mercedes. You've got to believe I never meant to hurt you."

Her words broke a dam somewhere within Quinn and the tears wouldn't stop coming. Mercedes transformed before her into a broken girl, scared and alone, dreaming of castles, and her perfect prince riding in to save her. Quinn had wrecked all of that for her, for them. Because she knew that Sam had wanted that life very much.

The tears kept coming. She put Beth back in her lap not wanting the baby to see her so emotional. She cried for all they had lost, for hopes with Puck, for sweet little Beth being left alone without her parents, for Mercedes's pain, and most of all for she cried for Sam. Trapped between here and heaven, waiting for a way to finally be free.

"It doesn't really matter now anyway." Mercedes looked sadly down at Sam.

"Don't say that. There's still time to hope. As long as he's still with us there's time."

The soft rise and fall of Sam's chest, his only movement, so still in his bed, shoved into fancy green pajamas, his hands posed over the tightly tucked handmade quilt. It just wasn't right. He deserved more than this.

"Sam responded to Beth last night before...you know."

"He did?" asked Quinn wiping away her tears, trying to pull herself back together.

"He moved when Beth touched him."

Quinn smiled. "That's amazing."

"I was hoping she would do it again, bring him around."

"Can I try? I'd like to talk to him."

"Okay. I'll give you some space," said Mercedes as she got up from the bed and walked away.

Quinn turned Beth in her lap, to face the bed, before grabbing Sam's stiff hand. "How did we end up here? You're in this bed, me on my way to yet another psych ward? We never could have imagined this as kids. I've been thinking a lot about us back in high school lately. About our time together. How you were this sweet boy that made me feel like I was in a fairytale. I know things didn't last for us but for a while there, we had something so perfect and special, something no one else could ever touch."

"Remember when I was the one in the hospital? That last time my parents put me away? And you would come visit me every day trying to cheer me up? I'm sorry I didn't do the same for you. Maybe if I hadn't been so caught in my own drama if I had spent more time with you. I should have done just as much as you did for me. More. Because face it Sam you have pulled me through now more times than I can count. I sort of think that's why we had our little miracle. No matter what happens, she connects us." She looked down at Beth and smiled. "She's living proof of our bond."

"I'm not sure I can make it in this world without you. And I can't believe Beth is going to lose both of us. She doesn't need to pay for our mistakes like this." Beth wiggled on her knee, leaning to get closer to the bed. Quinn moved her, so she could touch her father's hand.

"Oh here I go again laying all my issues on you as usual. I'm going to stop that. I promise you Sam I am going to get strong and get healthy and find my way back to our daughter."

She looked down at their hands, the three of them touching. Closest they probably would ever get to a real family moment. Quinn closed her eyes briefly memorizing it all. The look of Beth's hand on top of her father's, would be something she'd keep with her forever.

"I know you're tired now. Maybe you were holding on for me. Until you knew I was okay for Beth. So trust me now I will be. And you can rest now. I promise I won't let you down." She sighed heavily, saying one more prayer for him. "Sleep well Sam."

She tightened her grip on his hand, stroking it gently with her thumb. Sam looked so handsome, even in his thinner state. If only he would turn and look at her, even if it had to be the last time. She just wanted to see those familiar eyes once more.

Then suddenly, like a butterfly fluttering its wings, she felt it. She looked down in surprise, sure she was imagining it. Then again, this time she saw his fingers move. Sam was squeezing her hand.

"Mercedes," she called out excitedly. "He squeezed my hand."

"Are you sure?" she asked running over to them. "It could be a reflex action."

"He did it again!" Quinn almost yelled, as she felt the light pressure against her palm.

"Sam can you hear me?" Mercedes asked leaning over his face, stroking his hair.

Quinn couldn't contain her grin, happy tears welling in her eyes. Beth looked up at her uncertain about the commotion. "Mercedes he is grabbing my hand."

"Don't let go of his hand Quinn. Don't let him go," said Mercedes as she raced out the door to find help.

"I won't," said Quinn softly, smiling, staring at Sam struggling to open his eyes. "Not ever."

* * *

><p><strong>This concludes part 1. Be sure to check out Tailspin 2 on this site.<strong>


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